Author Topic: introduce yourself here  (Read 70174 times)

Wheelerswife

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  • Widowed x 2.
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #225 on: December 03, 2015, 10:06:54 PM »
Hi, Alyssa.

I'm sorry to have to welcome you to our club.  There are some really awesome people here.  Connecting with other widows has really helped me get through the losses of my husbands.  Some people from this site and its precursor are truly my friends.  So...keep coming here, venting, making connections.

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness

lisaj

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #226 on: December 04, 2015, 06:23:16 AM »
Hello,I am Lisa and a 36 close to be 37 year old widow.I lost my husband of 10 years to cancer in March.It was very hard and it hit me when he passed away.He was a good man to me and always treated me right.He was also a great step dad to my 3 kids.Everything is looking good now,lot of help from his family and friends including my family and friends.Have been seeing a therapist on this and says I am doing better.Good thing is I am not hurting for money,I get his pension from the shop he retired at 3 years ago.I miss his great laugh,had a great sense of humor and times on the front porch having a couple beers with him too.

bonay

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #227 on: December 08, 2015, 12:21:28 PM »
Hello All, I have finally decided to stop being the wallflower and create an account and Participate. May name is Scott and I lost my love of my life a year and a half ago. My wife's name was Renee and she was my everything, for she was my support, my filter, and the one person that could tell me everything was going to be ok and I believed her. I lost her a week before our 17th Wedding Anniversary and my 40th birthday.  I was one of the lucky few that actually got married on my birthday. We were talking about what we were going to do for our anniversary and then she had a brain aneurysm. On that day my world came to a close and every day since I have to talk myself into getting out of bed for I know she wouldn't want me to mope. She had the worlds largest heart and she was the most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on and I am coming to this group because I need to hear from someone that it is going to get better and this pain that I feel in my heart is going to ease up. Every night I come home from work just hoping that I have been in this nightmare and I never wake up.
I do apologize for the rambling words and the poor grammar . Thank you for having me.

alemja

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #228 on: December 09, 2015, 02:58:59 AM »
Huge hugs Bonay

I remember all  too well that feeling that my life was now a nightmare that I would never be able to wake up from  :'(

Time does pass though, you will make it through it doesnt seem possible

Wheelerswife

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  • Widowed x 2.
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #229 on: December 09, 2015, 07:11:51 AM »
Welcome, Scott.

I hope nobody ever worries about their grammar and rambling words on here.  I think I've been posting off and on for a long time with the word "ramblings" in the title of my posts.  We have to have some place to express what runs through our heads...in a place where people won't look at us as if we had two heads.

I'm so sorry you lost your beloved Renee.  I know it feels like this is never going to get better, but my experience is that it does.  I've lived this nightmare twice now.  My experiences have been very different.  My first husband died after a relatively long marriage with a long and slow decline in health and a predicable death.  My second husband died suddenly after a short marriage and I was really crushed.  It has taken me much longer to feel like I am getting my feet under me after my second husband's death. 

Each of us is going to have similar, yet different experiences.  I hope for you that the oppressive sadness can begin to lift.  I know that I'm too young to just finish living out my life without a partner to share whatever time I am going to have on this earth.  In time, I hope to find another great love.  Not everyone wants this, but I do.  I think we need to keep hope that we will be able to find joy in life again.  We will always be changed by loss.  We see the world through a different lens.  It isn't all bad.  I know that I appreciate some things more deeply and sincerely for what I have been through in my life.

Hugs to you,

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness

SimiRed

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  • Widowed 9-19-09 Joined YWBB 10-2009
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #230 on: December 09, 2015, 08:01:19 AM »
Huge hugs to you Alyssa, bonay and lisaj.  I'm so sorry for your losses, but glad you found a safe place here on the board.

This is a wonderful place to find the support you need and the freedom to express your feelings without judgement.  We all understand, unfortunately, the anger and pain.

I lost my husband of 20 years to cancer six years ago, but I still miss him everyday.  More so this year than those in the past for different reasons.  Somehow, it feels like I'm starting this journey all over again...but, that is due to past circumstances that should have never happened. 

No, of course not, no one here is the grammar police, so post away...

Like Maureen says, we find a way to appreciate the little things more deeply, in time, it doesn't hurt so bad.

Hugs!
~Tracey~
My wonderful husband Rick of 19 years, 12/11/67 - 9/20/09 Neuroendocrine cancer.
I still miss you everyday, I go forward, but my mind stands still.

MountainMan

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #231 on: December 11, 2015, 11:06:52 PM »
I lost my wife of 10 years, Judy, three years ago to Cancer of Unknown Primary (CUP) she was 39.  We have a beautiful daughter who gives me the motivation to get through every day and makes me strive to be the best Dad a little girl could ever hope for.   I think being a single Dad keeps me plenty busy enough that it helps to keep my mind off of things.  That's not to say I still don't have my moments.  A little more than a year after my wife passed we moved about 700 miles away from what little family we had to "start over" with a new life for ourselves.  We had been on a pretty rough stretch, I lost my father to cancer 10 months before my wife, and we had a house fire that destroyed half of our house 10 months prior to that (boy when people say things come in threes!) I was also stressed out by the daily grind and knew that a change was a necessity in order for me not to lose my mind.

Our daughter who just turned 8 last week has turned into the greatest little girl a Dad could ever hope for.  She has a great, bubbly, outgoing personality and shows no major side affects of the loss that we both endured.  I think on some level she was too young to fully grasp the situation.

We've been in our new town about a year and a half now and we both love it!  We've made quite a few friends and we recently completed construction on our new home and have a great group of new neighbors around us.  I had a few rough spots when we moved into the new home, I feel this sense of emptiness and dreamed of how much I wish she could be here with us because I know she would simply love our new home (plus I could use some help decorating it  :)

SimiRed

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  • Widowed 9-19-09 Joined YWBB 10-2009
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #232 on: December 14, 2015, 07:53:55 PM »
Welcome MountainMan, glad you found this great group of people who understand a lot.  It is difficult being an only parent, my son was 8 when his Dad passed, also from Cancer.  He was initially diagnosed as CUP, but after 4 years of treatments, finally said it was Neuroendocrine cancer of Unknown Primary. 

It is rough to move to a new area and a new home, it brings back all those empty feelings from the beginning.  It'll get better, enjoy your new home and ask that wonderful daughter of yours for some decorating ideas!  I'm sure she'll be happy to help.
~Tracey~
My wonderful husband Rick of 19 years, 12/11/67 - 9/20/09 Neuroendocrine cancer.
I still miss you everyday, I go forward, but my mind stands still.

Freelancing

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #233 on: December 15, 2015, 07:34:59 AM »
Hi All,
I"m now widowed almost 9 years.Although it was a helluva journey, I made it back much wiser, stronger and live life with purpose. My children are now young adults finding their way in the world. Naturally, they have been affected by their father's death that have turned into some very positive ways. I'm still single - YAAY! I've decided to give it another 5 years before I date! 

I was a former member of the old YWBB, thank goodness literally, it was shut down for obvious good reasons. No matter the type of website good trustworthy moderators are always needed. The last forum did not have the option for reporting threats, lewd pictures, malicious behavior such as revealing a person's identity without their consent or knowledge. People failed to realize in the company of others one must learn to control their grief driven anger. Some of the posts I read before I left YWBB could have lead to some serious legal ramifications.
Anyhoo, I'm here again 6yrs later hoping to share what I have learned!
There is light at the end of the tunnel whereas before I thought it was another train!

rae

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #234 on: December 18, 2015, 11:06:29 AM »
Hi -- My name is Rae.  I have been lurking for a while and decided to sign up and become a participating member.  I was widowed 4 years ago at the age of 45, my husband was 51 and died of a heart attack.  There was no warning, he had no history of heart disease. 

I'm remarried and have a new step-family and things are pretty good most of the time.  But the grief hasn't really gone away, I just hide it well.  No one in real life suspects that I still hurt so much. 

Looking forward to being a member here.

Lisa

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #235 on: December 18, 2015, 11:03:42 PM »
Welcome
"All the waves must reach the shore before the water calms"-Ray ♡

Helena

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #236 on: December 28, 2015, 07:59:25 AM »
Hi, I?m Helena and I?m 37. Lost my husband August 12th this year. A sudden death that we didn?t expect at all. A sunny beautiful day turned into a nightmare. We were out swimming at a lake and my husband took our 4 year old son on his back for some swimming. At the time I washed our youngest daughter in the water. Suddenly I look up and see my husband swimming. He looks a bit tired but nothing out of the ordinary. I attend to my daughter again and the next time (maybe 30 secs later) I look up my husband is gone. He is nowhere to be seen, I can only see my son trying to remain floating in the water. At first I think its some kind of stupid joke where my husband is hiding under the water but after a couple of seconds i realise that it?s not a joke. My husband is gone under the water and my son is silently struggling to keep his head above the waterline.
I call 112 (we live in Sweden) and at the same time i send some people in the water looking for Axel (my husband). The ambulance and rescuers arrive and we have still not found him. He has now been under water for approx 15 min.
The get him out of the water and start a 3 hour long resuscitation treatment. Axel is pronounced dead at 7.45 pm.

The post mortem examination shows that Axel had a severe blockage of the left anterior descending artery (also called LAD) and according to the coroner that blockage probably had something to do with his death. The fact that he was in water when it happened and the long resuscitation made it more complicated to see exactly how it went wrong. The heart also had severe signs of oxygen deprivation and the coroner thought that some of these was the result of blockage of LAD.

I have three children, 8,4 and 2 years old. They have lost their father and their father lost his life. Axel was an intelligent, creative and kind man. He could talk to anybody and most people really liked him, He had a great job and was a loving father. He had so many things going on and suddenly it all stopped. His memories and everything he planned just disappeared and now I find myself standing here with three children. I have a good social network and my in-laws are just great. No financial problems but I miss him so much and it?s now that I begin to realise that he is gone. Gone forever.

swilson

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  • Widower since Sept. 2014
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #237 on: December 28, 2015, 08:32:34 AM »
{Hugs} Helena, I'm sorry you have lost your husband Axel. It's a terrible loss for your children. I've found a lot of support here at Widda and don't know where I would be without this group.
~ she's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world ~

daysofelijah

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #238 on: January 01, 2016, 01:52:21 PM »
I don't think I've ever done an intro here. I used to post a little and read a lot on the old board.

My name is Amy. I lost my dh in 10/2012 after a 13 month battle with brain cancer. I have 4 children, currently ages 12,11,8,and 4. Littlest was 9 months old when dh died. It's been a hell of a 3+ years. But I'm currently on an upswing. The kids are doing well. I decided to start a new relationship this past May and it's going well, keeping things at a slow pace.

I enjoy reading and will try to do some posting as well. Thank you.
Amy, mom to four (14,13,9,5)

swilson

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  • Widower since Sept. 2014
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #239 on: January 01, 2016, 02:14:22 PM »
Happy New Year Amy. Good to hear you're making progress with life and family, it gives some of us not so far along a little hope that things do get better.
~ she's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world ~