Author Topic: introduce yourself here  (Read 70332 times)

Wynne

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #240 on: January 02, 2016, 09:51:41 PM »
Hello.  I am new here.  This is my first post.  I may be in the wrong place because I don't know what YWBB is, but here goes anyway.  I lost my Ronnie June 23rd in a car accident.  It was our 14th wedding anniversary.  He was 35 and I was 36.  We also have two young daughters, aged 9 and 10 now. We were high school sweethearts and he was the only person who truly knew me. I am an introvert and although I have great family support I have no true friends.  I am hopeful about being able to communicate with others in my situation.  People are generally kind but I am already hearing talk about how my emotions shouldn't be so raw now, how I should have his stuff packed away, and my mom's hints about dating (you're kidding, right?).  I am struggling with raising my kids, with how to remember Ronnie, with fears of all kinds, and with being sad and lonely.  I didn't mean to vent in this post.  Sorry.  I also have good things in my life, mainly my girls.  They give me a reason.  Anyway, that's a little about me.  I am looking forward to being on the boards.  : )
Courage, dear heart   ~C.S. Lewis

TooSoon

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #241 on: January 03, 2016, 05:58:09 AM »
I'm so sorry for your losses.  This is a safe supportive place that has, over the past three years, saved me time and again from the brink of insanity. 

Daysofelijah, I also lost my husband to brain cancer (GBM) just three years ago.  I was completely traumatised for a long time but things have gotten  better with time; I, too, am in a new relationship and my daughter and I are building a new life.  If ever you want to talk about the uniquely monstrous experience of brain cancer, please feel free to reach out to me via pm.  Talking with other GBM widows has been a tremendous help for me all along the way.

Wishing you all peace. 

swilson

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  • Posts: 185
  • Widower since Sept. 2014
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #242 on: January 03, 2016, 12:07:43 PM »
{Hugs} Wynne, I'm sorry you lost Ronnie, I hope you'll find Widda.org a good place to talk about tough emotions and life. Shake off the expectations of others, I agree with you in that there is a need to reach out to those who have to carry on after the loss of a loved one. This awful period of time may be the very worst time in our life, so yes we need to vent and we get it.
~ she's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world ~

Justin

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  • From KY to AZ, USA AKA:MissingMarsha
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #243 on: January 04, 2016, 03:12:45 PM »
Welcome, Wynne. I am so sorry that you have to be here, but these good people have helped me so very much. This is my safe place, where I know people will "get me" and what I am dealing with in my life.

The YWBB abbreviation will pop up from time to time; it stands for "Young Widows/Widowers Bulletin Board" and is a forum on which many of us first met. It shut down last March with little warning, and many of the members from there "regrouped" on this site.
Marsha 1975-2014

"Love is the province of the brave"

KC79

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #244 on: January 25, 2016, 12:20:33 PM »
Hello,
This is the first forum I've ever joined for any reason, so I'm just trying to figure out how everything works.  I lost my husband to suicide almost 6 months ago.  He passed away the day before my birthday.  This week will not only mark 6 months, but his birthday is on Thursday, as well.  I'm just trying to gain some perspective and get in touch with what I'm really feeling.  I feel like I've just been surviving and going through the motions since it happened - work, kids, bed, work, kids, bed; over and over.  I'm exhausted!  I think I've been putting off reaching out to others in my situation because I have been holding on to the thought that he might actually come back to me! I feel guilty every time I change something in the house because I think, what if Bob doesn't like it, or recognize the house, and therefore decides not to stay.  I express these thoughts to my family and friends, but it doesn't seem to help.  They look at me with pity.  Anyway, I just felt compelled to reach out, so here it is - hello everyone!

k3songs

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #245 on: January 25, 2016, 03:52:12 PM »
Hello KC79, So sorry for your loss.  I am glad you found this place.  It's a good place to come and pour out your feelings. Everyone  here will understand.and give you support.  Sometimes the people in our lives just don't know the depths of what we are going through after losing a spouse.  I hope you can find some peace and understanding here.
« Last Edit: January 25, 2016, 03:54:08 PM by k3songs »

Guaruj

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #246 on: January 25, 2016, 05:22:12 PM »
Hi KC - I'm sorry to hear that you lost your husband in such a painful way.

I feel guilty every time I change something in the house because I think, what if Bob doesn't like it, or recognize the house, and therefore decides not to stay.  I express these thoughts to my family and friends, but it doesn't seem to help.

That sounds very familiar to me. There are many of us here who resist rearranging things that our spouses left behind. I have examples of that in just about every room of my home. It even extends to my wife's car, which I now drive every day.

swilson

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  • Posts: 185
  • Widower since Sept. 2014
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #247 on: January 26, 2016, 09:14:26 AM »
{hugs} KC79, I'm sorry about your husband. Welcome sounds so hollow but as k3songs and Guaruja have said, you've found a very good place where your thoughts and feelings can be shared.
~ she's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world ~

b1inker

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #248 on: January 26, 2016, 03:31:13 PM »
Hello there, I used to lurk the YWBB but ended up taking a leave before hitting the reddit board and now I figured I'd get back into this as it is so nice to read these things since it helps me feel like I'm not alone.

I lost my wife to a brain tumor (speech center) on 1/12/13. We were married for 2yrs 7months, she fought cancer for 2yrs 6months and 3weeks. I was the primary caregiver and it nearly broke me to watch her die a little more every day.

That's pretty much it.
You were the reason I got up in the morning.

Wheelerswife

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  • Widowed x 2.
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #249 on: January 26, 2016, 08:28:20 PM »
Welcome back.  I realize that your whole marriage...from honeymoon until death...was spent caring for your wife.  Hugs to you.

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness

BelongaJ

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #250 on: January 29, 2016, 06:43:32 PM »
Hello.  I'm BelongaJ, also known as BJ.  The name was a joke my husband and I shared.  His name was Jay and one day he joked that something "belonga'd" to him, then announced everything "belonga'd" to him.  I ask if that included me and he emphatically declared I most definitely belonga Jay.

We were together for more than 15 years, married for 10 of those.  He passed away over two years ago and I still am trying to cope with the loss.  The grief comes like a gut punch some days.  Today I was told I got a generous bonus at work but instead of feeling happy I cried because I couldn't share it with him.

I look forward to meeting and chatting with people here.  People who understand (excuse the language) how fucked up our worlds are now.

Wheelerswife

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  • Widowed x 2.
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #251 on: January 29, 2016, 06:48:38 PM »
Hi, BelongaJ,

We understand colorful language here.  Welcome to the fold.  I lost my second husband two years ago and I still live in the world that was his.  Lately, there have been many reminders that he isn't here any more.  He was a university professor, and today I had lunch with one of his former students who would just love to be able to use him for a reference, but she can't. 

I'm glad you found us.

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness

Erin

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #252 on: March 05, 2016, 12:30:19 AM »
I have been circling this site for some time and finally have the courage to post... so here is my story

Bryan and I were together for almost 12 years, married almost 7. I first met him in junior high when he moved to my town. Our senior year of high school we started dating and he asked me to marry him only 6 months later. He joined the Navy and I went to college so we spent a lot of years apart, but we eventually got married. We wanted kids, but it never happened for us. We had so many happy times (along with the bad), and I always knew he was my soulmate. Just after his 28th birthday (Aug 2013) he was diagnosed with T-cell ALL. It was a long road... he had many rounds of chemo and radiation, countless admissions to the hospital, a bone marrow transplant. Nothing worked but we always had hope. I wasn't prepared for him to die. He left us September 11, 2015. I miss him so much every day and I am not sure I accept he's really gone.

Damiansinc

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #253 on: March 05, 2016, 03:25:47 PM »
So so sorry you have to be here Erin. Huge hug!

TooSoon

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #254 on: March 05, 2016, 03:34:08 PM »
I, too, am sorry you have a reason to join us.  This place has been and is still a lifeline for me.  There are so many loving and generous people here who will give you space to say what you need to say  and people here will hear you and offer strategies/support when you feel cast out and alone or afraid.  Hold on tight!  You're going to make it through.