Author Topic: introduce yourself here  (Read 69760 times)

donswife

  • Member
  • Posts: 547
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #90 on: March 15, 2015, 05:37:57 PM »
hi I am new to this group . I had discovered ywbb a month after my husband died but was waiting to get approved so I am so glad I found this post. I was able to read the post and it did give me much comfort. My husband Don died suddenly of a heart attack a week after his 51 birthday. I was with him . as always . We have been together for 27 years ,married 24. He died at the end of october and I still find in hard. I miss him , He was an amazing man and we had a great life so not sure what the next step is
My everything

Katelsam

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #91 on: March 15, 2015, 06:26:19 PM »
Hi, I'm Kate-a cancer widow. My husband and best friend passed away at the ripe old age of 29. I was 27 and pregnant with our third child at that time. My late husband was an amazing, fit, handsome, selfless, incredible man; no family history of cancer and a never-smoker.

He developed a dry cough and was misdiagnosed countless times before we received the life-shattering cancer diagnosis. After pushing for a broncoscopy and being told "There's no chance it could be cancer" by the pulmonologist, turned out it wasn't just an incredibly rare/aggressive, never-smoker lung cancer, but also stage IV. Three months after my husband's correct diagnosis he passed away unexpectedly from complications from the chemo; he always told me he'd take the same path a million times over to have the kids and I. He passed holding my hand. He was and continues to be an inspiration to me.

I am in a better place, but still struggle with losing such a wonderful man and my kids not being able to know such a wonderful, loving soul. His life was the children and I and the pain of his loss runs to the core. Right now I'm at the point where I'm just grateful for the selfless, beautiful love we shared that many will never have the opportunity to experience. My focus continues to be my kids, career, family, and friends.

I have the life I've always dreamt of with the exception of losing my better half. It does get easier with time, but it continues to be an uphill battle. As hard as this journey has been I feel incredibly blessed to have had his love and our beautiful children.

?.?*?*?Forever in my heart, sweet Sammy, until we meet again?*?*?.?

Lisa

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 523
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #92 on: March 15, 2015, 06:27:19 PM »
 I am glad you are here @donswife, everyone else too but especially since you can finally post.
"All the waves must reach the shore before the water calms"-Ray ♡

Joeswife

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #93 on: March 16, 2015, 12:08:14 AM »
Hi I'm Ann, Joeswife at YWBB.  It will be one year as of this Friday that I lost my husband Joe. We had been together 19years and two weeks shy of our 15 year anniversary.  It was late at night and he had a terrible headache.  He fell and couldn't get up and by the time the ambulance arrived (we live far out) he was barely breathing.  He had what they later determined was a AVM ( similar to a stroke or aneurysm).  They didn't think he would respond after the first surgery but he did and was able to move his eyes and his toes.  We were told he would need a long recovery but he would make it.  But he started bleeding again.  Another surgery and he woke again but with less movement.  His brain kept swelling and they felt he needed a third.   That one left him only able to open his eyes and they said he was getting worse.  His brain just kept swelling.    11 days from the first event the decision was made to let him go.  Our children were 8 and 11 at the time.  He was and is the love of my life, my soulmate. 

Lost35

  • Guest
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #94 on: March 16, 2015, 12:18:02 AM »
I'm also from YWBB.  It's over six years since P. died in a work accident.  I was three days pregnant (and didn't know it) with our hoped for child.  He is happy, healthy and five now.  I think the first few years were just shock and survival.  I'm still working through it and miss him every day, but am forever grateful to have found my way to this group. 

-L.

donnak

  • Member
  • Posts: 24
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #95 on: March 16, 2015, 11:10:48 AM »
ok i cant remember if i already posted or not a combination of old age and widow brain but here goes im donnak on here and also in chat i was dkuziora on ywbb i lost my dear ed to bladder cancer and a bad heart on nov 14th 2010

MikeR

  • Member
  • Posts: 37
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #96 on: March 16, 2015, 03:31:34 PM »
Hi All,

I am a long time member of YWBB (MikeR there and MikeR here - creativity is not my strong suit  :) ). Nearly 9 years for me - seems like forever. Glad to see that there continues to be a place for us. Thanks to those who got this going.

Mike
Cathryn, your love made me what I am today.I am in awe of you.

Michael

K+F

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #97 on: March 16, 2015, 09:08:06 PM »
Hi, I'm K.  I lost my husband, F to a sudden heart attack 5.5 months ago.  He had been recovering from a ruptured abdominal aortic aneurysm that occurred in January 2011.  The RAA left him a paraplegic, so I was also his caregiver for the last several years.  Although he had been ill, his death was  sudden and unexpected.  We have a beautiful 8 year old little boy.  We are both still reeling, trying to figure out our lives without F.  I'm so happy to finally be able to post, as I've been lurking since right after we lost him, but my registration was never confirmed.  Thank you admin and mods for making this place for us and confirming my registration so quickly!

myjohnny

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #98 on: March 16, 2015, 10:30:50 PM »
Hey there, I missed you all. I have had a hard time following what was going on. I took my first extened break (of about three weeks) and came back to find everything had changed! Thank you for setting this up girls! I consider this place a part of me and I initially paniced1 I have had too many learning curves lately, every electronic I own has broken in the past five weeks and...

My husband John died four years ago February 15th. I found this site out of sheer and utter desperation, it was my life line, it IS what let me know I was not clinically crazy.

It has been a really long, really challenging road, but I do not know how I could have survived all the trials and all the things that fell apart because he died without you dear, dear fellow wids.

maddalena

  • Member
  • Posts: 151
goodness, go away for a few weeks and..!
« Reply #99 on: March 17, 2015, 08:43:48 AM »
Hi, I'm back from florida.
A lot of you know my story, my husband died in July of 2012 of esophageal cancer. He was very young and exuberant and healthy so when cancer got him, it was devastating. We were very much in love, and had been married for almost 35 years when he died.  He taught me and so many other people about love, acceptance, surrender, and honor.

Last year I met a new guy, and we have been building a new relationship. I often feel Donald, my husband guiding us.

anyway, nice new digs!!!

merrylea

  • Member
  • Posts: 13
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #100 on: March 17, 2015, 11:22:45 AM »
Hi everyone-

I was part of the other group under the same name, and several people were gracious enough to e-mail me after that site was shut down to let me know about the new an improved board!

I lost my husband in March 2014 to a car accident.  I was sick that day, he had left work a little bit early, and he was rear ended on the way home while making a turn.  We were only married for a year and a half, so really, just newlyweds.  While neither of us were perfect, I can honestly say that we had a good marriage and we were both pretty damn happy.   

It was so incredibly helpful for me to have this resource, especially in the early "zombie" days.  When it all went down, I thought I was the only person like me in the world.  Unfortunately, I wasn't.  I'm so very grateful for the people I've met through ywbb, those people have truly been a bright spot in the shit storm.   I look forward to the support of this board in the quest to rebuild going forward, as many decisions will need to be made sooner rather than later. 

Take care all!

Neverthesame

  • Member
  • Posts: 32
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #101 on: March 17, 2015, 01:01:36 PM »
I was Bill4 on YWBB. I changed my screen name to Neverthesame because that?s the one constant that I?ve found through all of this?..nothing ever stays the same. My wife fought stage IV breast cancer for 4 ? years before I lost her in October of 2006. Our kids were 11, 13, and 16 when she died. Now, my kids are grown (or think they are anyway) and I?m remarried to a wonderful woman who also happens to be a widow. YWBB is gone now?..so many changes over the last 13 years. Obviously some of those changes were not so good for me, but some changes have been better than I could have hoped for.

I?m not really sure why I decided to register on this forum after YWBB shut down. I never really posted much before and I probably won?t here. I guess it?s because widowhood will always be a part of my life and this type of forum got me through the tough times. As optimistic as I am about my future it will always be tempered by the pain that I felt when I was widowed. I suppose some small part of me still feels a part of this group and I?d like to thank those here who decided to start this forum and pick up where YWBB left off.

Bill

Max2507

  • Member
  • Posts: 143
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #102 on: March 17, 2015, 02:44:01 PM »
Hello everyone again! Thanks to those who got another forum together so quickly. It really was a shock the way it went down with ywbb. Thanks for the shout out HvnBound! If I could I would so come help you with your house. Its hard going it alone.

This is what I wrote 5 days after my husband died:
Hello everyone. My husband died this past Saturday after what seemed like not such a bad accident in our motorhome. He seemed fine afterward but a few hours later died in surgery , had internal injury. He was the love of my life and I am just devastated. Thanks for all the posts especially in the advice I used some of it right away dealing with pushy business people and it helped a lot. I am fortunate to have a lot of support here but like many have posted its hard for people to really understand what you are going through. I am on a roller coaster ride between whole body sobbing and complete disbelief.

Now I am about a month and a half from 2 years. So much has changed so much has stayed the same. The whole body sobbing has given way to occasional silent flowing tears and complete disbelief to yes this shit is real. I feel I am healing but have a long way to go. I have hope but at the same time don't know if I have the capacity to love like that again. He was such surprise of unconditional love, he was my person and I was his. He seems so far away now. I was an independent person when we got together and not until his death did I see how much I identified with being his wife, how every other thread in the fabric of my being was intertwined with him. Eventually I started feeling no longer his wife but his widow. Just recently I have started feeling like I am a solitary person.  I had a few dreams of him over the months and waking up just devastated to realize he was in fact still dead. A dream I had last memorial day weekend wrecked me for 3 weeks. Recently I dreamed quite a steamy dream of him and I woke up thinking yes that was nice. No moment of forgetting he was gone, its like physically/subconsciously I knew he was dead so I didn't wake up crushed that it wasn't real.

I just keep moving forward and doing the best I can.

linda5

  • Member
  • Posts: 193
  • My one, my only
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #103 on: March 17, 2015, 07:56:54 PM »
My husband and I were high school sweethearts.  He was a Senior and I was a Sophomore.  We had Drama Class together.  He took one look at me and told his buddy that he was going to marry me some day.  We  immediately knew we belong together.  I truly think we were soulmates.  We started dating when I was 16 and never broke up. 

My husband, Will, died suddenly on Palm Sunday of a pulmonary embolism.  He was fine one minute, gone the next.  Two of our three daughters were home with us.  Our youngest was a Junior at Mizzou and home for Spring Break.  She and her sister were putting a 1,000 piece puzzle together in our family room while I had my feet in his lap and he was reclined on the sofa.  We were watching Breaking Bad on DVD (I can never watch that series again), when he made a funny noise.  We all jumped up and I tried to do CPR on him, but forgot to hold his nose and the air came back out.  My youngest was a Nursing Student and pushed me out of the way and said, "Mom, let me handle this!"   I was so very proud of her.  She, at 20, was barking out orders for me and her sister.  My other daughter got 911 on the phone and they told us to do CPR on the floor.  It took all 3 of us to pull him by his feet and watch his head and arms drop to the floor.  When paramedics arrived, they got all the information from my youngest.  My middle daughter tried to run and hug me then, but I pushed her away and told her that Dad  is on the ceiling, watching this!  We need to talk to him now and tell him how much we need him and not to leave us.  I told her we can't cry now.  We've got to help fight for his life.  We need to tell God now how much we need him.  To tell Will not to leave us. 

I honestly couldn't have prayed any harder, better, more sincere.  I kept my tears bottled up because I was fighting a spiritual fight for him.  I felt as if I was Mother Theresa, I couldn't have prayed any better.  I was honestly shocked that I lost the fight!  I truly thought God would hear our screams of despair and let him live. 

My oldest daughter and her husband arrived while the paramedics were here and they revived my husband 3 times while in the ambulance.  At my husband's celebration luncheon, my mother fainted and the paramedics were called (my mom was fine).  As it turns out it was the same ones that came to my house.  They told me that they were just talking about my me and my girls and were discussing how they were going to contact me.  They wanted me to know that they revived him in the ambulance and that he did fight for me.  They also asked me if I noticed their tears when they were leaving my house.  They told me they each have had over 15 years experience and dealing with us was the first time they cried at an event.  They said they have never witnessed such a great love and that me and my daughter encouraging, begging, pleading with Will and God to give him back really touched them.  They said he did fight for me, for us, he just lost.

twistedmensa

  • Member
  • Posts: 225
  • Embracing the suck since 1968!
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #104 on: March 18, 2015, 02:02:57 AM »
As I am approaching the one year mark, perhaps it is time I stop lurking and finally make my first post.  This time last year (almost to the day) I took my husband to the ER because he couldn't breathe.  He had been on antibiotics for about 3 weeks for what the doc thought was bronchitis...but I knew in my heart that his lymphoma had returned (he had been in remission for nearly 4 years).  It was maddening that our doc didn't send him to the oncologist immediately...looking back, I know I should have pushed for more action.  I will have to live with that regret.

At the hospital, they found that the cancer was widespread but I was hopeful because he had responded so well to chemo the first time around.  He was scheduled to start chemo the following week. But it wasn't lymphoma.  They weren't sure what kind of cancer it was, but that it probably started in the lungs.  Then the bombshell....life expectancy anywhere from 3 months to a year.  That was March 22. My best friend and partner in life passed away on April 23.  Just a week after we had the talk with our kids about what 'might' happen, my worst fears were realized. 

Life since then has been a blur.  So many changes, and so much to deal with.  We are still trying to pick up the pieces.  I try to be strong for my kids, but I think they are dealing with this better than I.  Perhaps I should follow their example.

I would just like to say that even though this is my first post, I was lurking at YWBB since I discovered it about a month after my world imploded and it has been a great comfort to know that I am not alone.  I am so thankful that I found this wonderful group of folks.