Author Topic: introduce yourself here  (Read 80208 times)


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Re: twistedmensa
« Reply #105 on: March 18, 2015, 08:03:17 AM »
ah yes, the fatal doctor optimism.  My husband had 3 months left on earth when his doctor told him he might live to see grandkids...


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #106 on: March 18, 2015, 02:41:07 PM »
« Last Edit: June 05, 2015, 08:19:54 PM by tableforone »


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #107 on: March 18, 2015, 09:35:26 PM »
It has been 5 1/2 years.  I was a member of ywbb from about 3 weeks in.  I see familiar names and kept my own.  I am on chapter 2.  It is a journey.

Remember be kind to yourself, drink lots of water, sleep when you can, eat when you can.  Do not worry about thank you notes!!  Know you will overcome.  You never forget, you just find a new normal.

I will love you always.


I am sad for the ywbb.  I am glad we are here.
I will love you always.

SJ (aka Suedaz)

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #108 on: March 19, 2015, 12:49:49 AM »
Wow-another hop to a new board!
The YWBB saved my sanity many years ago. I know it did the same for my now-hubby.

I was widowed in 2007. ( Suedaz on the board and in chat)
Mark was widowed in 2006. ( MPS on the board and CTD-circling the drain! in chat)
Both of our spouses had sudden heart attacks. Both were in their early 40s.

Mark and I  met in the chat room of the YWBB on NYE/2009/Jan 1, 2010.
In April we met in person,  in June we got engaged,  and in August of that same year we eloped to Hawaii.
Five years later we are now living in our dream city and enjoying life once again.

Grief and widowhood are things that CAN be dealt with-in one's one way, in one's own time.
Hugs and good vibes to all. 8) 8)


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #109 on: March 19, 2015, 08:48:37 AM »
I'm DonnaP. I also was a YWBBer. I joined in May 2010, a month after my husband, Mick, died from sudden cardiac arrest. He was literally fine and then gone, within a 15 minute time span. I still have trouble wrapping my head around it. It seemed so unlikely that a perfectly healthy 50-year-old man, with no other symptoms, could drop dead in an instant. And yet, that is exactly what happened.

A month later, I found the board and it was a lifeline. I read mostly at first, and then got brave enough to post. Reading the replies gave me such a sense of hope. It was like escaping from my gray, lifeless world for a while. I soon began to recognize names and attended a BAGO, where I met some wonderful people who all knew what I was going through, and had just the right words to comfort me.

The days, weeks and months following Mick's death were the worst of my life. If it hadn't been for my family and friends (especially those on the board), I would have stayed in that dark pit of despair, instead of climbing my way out. You all gave me hope. YWBB is also where I met MrDrew, who found me one day and reached out in friendship. Friendship turned to love and we are now married.

My life is quite different from what it was in the "before time," but good and happy again. My sons are both doing well, and I have a new step-daughter. Life is good. :)
I still think of you, Mick...every SINGLE day!


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #110 on: March 19, 2015, 07:55:26 PM »
Hi and ((((Hugs)))) to All. I am Nancy Myers from Phoenix, AZ.  I lost my husband John on January 31, 2007 to heart disease.  I stumbled across the board in April 2007 on a sleepless night.  I suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury, January 5, 2013 and forgot many things like my username and password, but have been active in a few FB groups.  So, where do I begin?  My DH had a major heart attack, bypass X7, damage to 90% of his heart in July 1995 so really I should have been prepared if that is possible.  But he recovered and somehow during that time, death did not seem to be in the future.  He just lived for the day when both of our boys were finally grown and out of the house.  He was a manager at a towing company doing Police impound work when he was short of help one night and went out on a nearby freeway to pick up a vehicle from a DUI arrest.  The DPS officer left the scene to grab lunch and a drunk driver drove up the back of the flat bed tow truck, and luckily he was bending over because her car drove over his head and body in May 2003.  He was in critical condition with broken hips, legs, arms, ribs, ect. but came home to recover in August.  He continued to recover until August 2006 when he finally got back to work part time.  He was not able to drive but had been in the office most of the time anyhow for his job and very happy to get out of the house.  He worked for 8 days when it was time to move my youngest son down to the dorm at the UofA.  We spent the day together as a family and drove home having dinner out on the way.  We were sitting down just getting relaxed from the drive and talking about his goal of "Finally being alone together with No kids in the House" and planning our 20th Anniversary celebration with a long overdo honeymoon in Hawaii in February.  But he suddenly didn't feel well, and I ended up calling the neighbor who was a local paramedic.  He had his first of many heart attacks that were to become the end.  We lived over 30 miles from the nearest hospital at the time and ended up staying with his Mom in the mobile we bought her 1 mile from the new at the time heart hospital in September to be safe.  We sold our town home in December and I bought a defibulator (sp) that insurance didn't cover in January.  He was mad that I spent the money, but I wanted him to continue living.  I hope that this makes some measure of sense and that I can participate here.  It feels like home for me. 

Oh, I became a Grammy March 15, 2010 to a beautiful grand daughter Zoey.  She looks like a mini me but has her Grandpa's beautiful blue eyes and eye lashes that look like false ones.  (Really I am so so jealous.  Both of my boys got the baby blues and eyelashes from their Dad) Her Mother left her with my son and wanted a divorce when she was 5 months old.  I had been laid off and was starting a new job on Monday of that week but put off the start date for a month and cared for her while what was going on with my son and his then wife was to get sorted out.  Honestly I expected her Mom to take a week and come back at least for her? But she did not come back into her life until she was 3 1/2 years.  I had been in a room mate situation (no benefits) with an old friend for a couple of years and ended up moving in with my oldest son and being Grammy.  Now her Mom takes her 2 days a week around half of the time.  My younger son, just laughs and says that I am back as a Mom again.  So I am a proud now 52 year old Grammy to a beautiful 5 year old. 


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #111 on: March 20, 2015, 05:33:10 PM »
Hi! I'm Bobssleepykitty (BSK). This is one of my first posts from TOB (The Old Board):
Hi. I lost my husband on July 29, 2007 at 12:32 a.m. from sepsis. Actually, it was as a result of his dialysis permacath and his end stage renal disease. I was with him in the hospital for three weeks, holding his hand and telling him how much I love him. I was there when he died, but he left me when I was asleep because he couldn't say good-bye to me. He fought so hard against ESRD all his life - he was told he'd be dead in a year when he was 17, and he fought for 40 years. We were only married for a year and a half, but we were together for almost four years. In the span of four years, I've gone from being single, to being engaged, to being a bride, and now.... To being a widow. It sucks. IT SUCKS! I wake up every morning at 6am because that's when I would wake up in the hospital to talk to the doctors. I shake uncontrollably. I cry for anywhere from one hour to four or all day. I pray for death ever minute; I'm angry that God took him instead of me. I can't do this. I can't...
I love you, my little furry face. My Beloved SleepyPuppy. I Wuv Woo. 11/17/49 - 07/29/07

"Why is it you always wear black?" "I am in mourning for my life. I am unhappy."-Anton Chekov, The Seagul.


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #112 on: March 20, 2015, 08:54:42 PM »
20 months ago, my 33 year old husband of 11 years was walking on the sidewalk to work and a truck lost control and hit him and he died later that day with me at his side.  Our kids at the time were 3 and 5.  I found ywbb a few weeks after he died, and found incredible support and friendships.  I am moving forward and healing, and aim to carry his memory during this journey. 
"I may not be as strong as I think, but I know many tricks and I have resolution." - Hemingway

My love, my teammate in life.


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #113 on: March 20, 2015, 10:58:47 PM »
Hi everyone,
My name is Mari and I've been a part of YWBB since January 2012. My husband, David, died 12-30-12 from a chronic lung scarring disease. We were together 10 years and married for 8.  He was 42, me 31 and our children were 5, 3 and 2. Our marriage had been stressed the last year of his life from his latest incident with drugs and alcohol. He was such an amazing man when sober yet the demons of addiction succumbed him. Thankfully enough, he did sober himself during the last 6 months of his life only to have his lungs flare up and kill him.

Over the course of the last 26 months, and a lot of therapy, I have recovered from my own co-dependency and found ways to find happiness again. I am currently engaged and will be wed this fall. I don't seem to comment on the board much but I do come to visit and read and find comfort and support in others' words. It helps tremendously to know that I don't walk this path alone.

Many blessings to each and every one of you!

Mr C

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #114 on: March 21, 2015, 06:51:14 PM »
It has been 13 months since I lost my wife to a burst aortic aneurysm and the pain is still so deep. :'( I am just going to copy my introductory post from last April:

On February 22nd, I lost my high school sweetheart. We have been together for 27 years and married for 22. I miss her so much and feel so lost without her.

I am grateful that we started so young and that we were able to share the joy of raising two kids, 18 and 14. She was such a great mother and together we poured everything into our kids. I love our kids so much, but I was looking forward to the time when it was supposed to just be the two of us again.

The loss felt sudden, even though I knew the risk was there. She was fortunate to survive an aortic dissection three years ago and she had heart health issues ever since. Yet she was able to accomplish so much during this time, always with her beautiful smile and positive spirit. We didn't have any goodbyes, but at least we were able to add several special moments over these past few years.

I alternate between feeling so blessed to have experienced such amazing Love with this wonderful woman that was adored by all who knew her and feeling the sadness and loneliness of losing my best friend. The tears seem to flow best when I experience both emotions simultaneously.
Mrs.C, You have been my Sweetheart, Best Friend and Love since 1987. You will be my Wife forever and ever and ever. Love Always, Mr. C
Mrs.C, You have been my Sweetheart, Best Friend and Love since 1987. You will be my Wife forever and ever and ever. Love Always, Mr. C


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #115 on: March 21, 2015, 08:11:07 PM »
Hi.  New here.  New to the whole losing a spouse thing too.  I lost my wife of twenty years a few months ago after a frighteningly short battle with cancer.  The poor girl never had a chance.  Struggling to pick up the pieces - life is fragile and shatters into millions of tiny shards, doesn't it?

Forty years old and a widow.  So glad I'm not alone, horrible as that sounds.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2015, 08:21:06 PM by Brenda »


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #116 on: March 22, 2015, 04:44:32 AM »
Hi, I'm Cyndi,
I live in California & have been widowed nearly 6 years,
I lost my husband of 27 years to complications of a rare aggressive cancer (cholangiocarcinoma).
It took the doctors a long time to find it. They kept telling him he was in perfect health but he knew different & kept going back to them. They misdiagnosed & treated him for various other illnesses for about 2 months before finding the cancer. At 1st we were told it was fully contained & 100% curable with a galllbladder operation & they scheduled an appt for us to meet with the oncologist surgeon 1 week later. In that appt. we were told it was stage IV, unresectable & completely covering his liver. He'd be gone in 2 months but may possibly live 6 mos to a year with chemo.
So he started chemo but had a major stroke a few days later. Said he didn't want to be taken to the hospital but I called an ambulance anyway. He arrived within 15 mins. but surgeons couldn't clear the blood clot in his brain in time & half his brain died.
They couldn't wake him up after neurosurgery or prevent his blood from clotting & he lay in a coma for 5 days before I made the decision to remove him from life support.  I never got to say goodbye.
3 shorts weeks from cancer diagnosis to death but the pain of losing him lingers on..


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #117 on: March 23, 2015, 10:47:51 AM »
Hello, I'm all4liv from YWBB. I don't post too often but appreciate all the advice given that was especially very helpful early on.

Tomorrow, 3/24, will be 3 years. My wife died unexpectedly from cardiac arrhythmia caused by myocardial ischemia. She had surgery about 6 weeks before for a bowel resection (her 3rd surgery for that) and a hysterectomy. She never felt right after the surgery and was very depressed. She went on hormone replacement therapy 2 weeks before and started getting her personality back and wanted to see friends again. Our daughter was at her mom's that Saturday. After dropping our daughter off, we ran errands and got home about 9:30 pm. She went in the house and I let the dogs out and got the mail. When I came back in the house only 2 minutes later, she had collapsed on the landing between the flight of stairs and could not be resuscitated. She was 37, I was 38 and our daughter was 7.
We love you to the moon and back...with all our hearts!


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #118 on: March 25, 2015, 11:08:40 PM »
Hi, I'm Tracy and I was 66etype on YWBB. My user name is my husbands favorite car... and I'm pretty sure it was a thread killer in the past. I lost Michael 6 months after a diagnosis of poorly differentiated kidney cancer. There wasn't much that could be done. He struggled, suffered and held his head high.
Next Friday 4/3/15 marks the 3rd year he has been gone. I have learned a lot about myself and others through this roller coaster ride. I know that I am a good person, some of my "friends" only liked me when I was happy and at my best... grief fucks that all up! I now only have a couple of pre death friends and many more post death friends. My first 2 years were very difficult.. sometime around 2.5 years life got easier. I flirt, have fun and enjoy life much more than I have in the last 3 years. Still not much focus on the future... not sure that will ever come back.

My heart breaks when I read the posts from newbies... what an awful time in life.. then the first year ended and it didn't get brighter.. it just changed but was still blue. I can only hope that things get better as I get older and live through this awful situation.

Big hugs to all of us... this all sucks!



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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #119 on: March 26, 2015, 04:32:00 PM »
Undifferentiated cancer (rare);  89 days from discovered to gone, Oct 30, 2006. He was 42, I was 41. Our kids were 6 and 9 YO. Complained of chest pain in May. Without even looking at or touching the patient, the doctor "diagnosed" GERD. D had a stage 1 melanoma removed in 2004. Why no follow up, or concern?After three weeks of pain, it stopped. We never even filled the GERD prescription.

In July, pain resumed. This time, doc pressed on D's sternum (D yelled in pain). Ordered CT SCAN. Lemon sized mass at top of heart, inoperable and already mets to bone. We got one round of chemo in after numerous rounds of pathology to try to categorize the cells to direct treatment. The chemo made D too weak to withstand any more. He walked to the doc office that Tuesday. By Thursday he was quadriplegic, by Saturday, gone. He was still himself to the end. It was so quick that he had not lost any hair yet.

That Tuesday, I told the kids the cancer was going to win, eventually. On Friday, I futher explained that I meant DEATH. We were unsure if we would get Christmas or even Thanksgiving with him. I never dreamed he would not see Halloween.

Worst moment of my life, even worse than witnessing his final breath (was asleep on morphine due to breathing trouble), was telling my children that next day. I would clobber anyone who harmed my kids. I had to hurt them worse than they ever imagined in telling them of his death.

F--- cancer!