Author Topic: introduce yourself here  (Read 80176 times)


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  • Widowed 5-14-2006 joined YWBB 6-23-2006 Loc: MA
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #45 on: March 09, 2015, 06:43:07 PM »
Hello - my name is Ann.
I had the same name at YWBB. My husband passed in 2006 from a massive heart attack on Mother's Day. I found YWBB soon after and though I didn't post much, I have read every day since. Like so many, I too was devastated to see that YWBB was shutting down. In my early years especially, the board was such a refuge for me and it was very disturbing to me that the newly widowed weren't going to find the same compassion and support from those that truly understood. For almost 9 years it has been a tremendous source of strength and I have a felt a connection to many here.
I want to applaud the dedication and perseverance this new team took to set up and launch a new board....not only once but twice. It looks like you hardly missed a beat. Like a previous poster had said - it's good to be home!
Thank you!


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #46 on: March 09, 2015, 06:51:31 PM »
Im Lynn aka PJ.  I joined in July/August of 2012 after most of my family had been in a car accident that killed my husband.  My husband, myself and our daughter, (age 13 at the time) were headed out to join friends camping.  It was something we did at minimum of monthly, if not more.  I had fallen asleep because I had worked the night before and I was used to his driving.  I woke up 2 minutes before we jackknifed and our truck flipped.  Everything after that gets fuzzy in most places, with a few moments of startling clarity.  The end result was that my daughter had a very mild sprained ankle, I had cuts and bruises and glass imbedded in my hand.  My husband however died of blunt force trauma and asphyxiation.  He was 36 years old.  We had been married just shy of 18 years.  Our son, who at the time was 18, was not with us.  Had he been with us like he had been for the previous trips, one of my children would have died as well. 

My husband was a local Police Officer.  This meant a lot of protocol and I had to notify family way before my brain had caught up to the whole thing.  I met the police chief in a hospital gown and with a large to go cup of Mt. Dew.  I had to call his mother and his sisters on the phone and tell them he was gone.  I had to tell our two children that he was gone.  I called my mother and sister to tell them.  All within minutes of the doctor coming to my trauma bed to tell me that he was gone, although I beat him to it because he couldn't quite get the words out.

That was 2.5 years ago ish.  My daughter is now 16 and living with my sister (hoping to move there soon)  My son is 21 and very angry at the world, me in particular.  He wouldn't be the first in our family to wish it had been me instead of hubby.  We are still no where near on a road to any kind of recovery at this point.  Im beginning to wonder if that is just another pipe dream fed to us so that we keep moving and don't give in. 

Im glad the boards are still around.  I read a lot of late and post very little but they are the first place I go to.  I have made very very very good friends here and I think without this board and the chat I would not have made it this far. 



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  • Widowed since 10/2012 . Living in NJ
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #47 on: March 09, 2015, 07:28:53 PM »
I found the original board in December 2012, my husband had been killed in October 2012. I was lost and scared . Although maybe I don't post as much, the boards have been my saving grace. When I found out it was closing, panic set in , I feel I know so many of you and have been lucky enough to meet a few wids in real life.

I came home from working late at a seasonal job. The last I talked to him was at 9pm, he told me he was down the street at a party and the kids were at a sleepover.  It was now 2 am, and police were standing in my driveway . My brain went from.. Is he in jail? Arrested? Where's the kids ? They wouldn't say anything till I walked in the house and sat down. It was then it hit me, before they said it.. I knew. He was about 30 minutes from home, passerby found his motorcycle down, then found him thrown from bike. To this day , no one is sure why or what happened to make him go off the road. 
"To love another person is to see the face of God "


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #48 on: March 09, 2015, 07:39:08 PM »
My name is Mac. It has been nearly 33 months since Cindy passed quite unexpectedly. We were married for 27-1/2 years and we were friends for 37 years. I have a daughter and a son, we are doing well as a family.

My wife was an amazing woman. She was beautiful, extremely intelligent and so very kind. Prior to our marriage she had traveled the world. This included living in C?te d'Ivoire for two years and Japan for two years. She spoke many different languages. We traveled the world far and wide together, always so compatible. No plans necessary.

She had a wicked sense of humor. The first thing that comes to mind for so many people that knew her is her laugh.

Without my asking, she was devoted to my parents in their final years. She kept them safe and happy. She included them in her daily life.

We welcomed people from around the world into our home. She was a dedicated mother and because of this our daughter and son have turned out to be kind and loving.

If you were to meet her, she would make you feel like you had known each other for years.

Life is being kind to me these days. I am grateful for the past. I am embracing and enjoying the present (most of the time). I trust that the future will be as amazing as the past. Different, but amazing.
Grateful for the past. Embracing the present. Trusting in the future.


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #49 on: March 09, 2015, 08:22:33 PM »
His name was Mark, and I miss him every day.

We met three weeks before he deployed to Iraq. Our first kiss was in the snow, and when I went back to work (it was Presidents' Day weekend, and we had three dates in two days) I told my friend, "I really like this guy." We emailed while he was in Iraq and picked up where we left off when he got home. We were together for 5 years when we found out he had cancer. Five years after that first date, on another winter day, I stood on a snow covered boardwalk in Atlantic City and kissed him for our wedding photos.

He was a Marine. He ate right and exercised daily. He played on an adult hockey league. He was HEALTHY. Even now it is hard to wrap my head around everything that happened. He fought cancer with everything he had. For awhile, we even thought he beat it. But then the cancer came back and it was even more aggressive. Pancreatic Cancer has an incredibly low survival rate. Almost two years to the day from when we got his diagnosis, he lost his battle. And I lost everything.

We didn't have a storybook romance, and it has been hard to come to terms with that. In a lot of ways we were oil and water. In a lot of other ways we completed each other. Before he died, I told him, "I think we made each other better people." We really did. I guess the rest of it doesn't really matter, because I loved him and he loved me.

I found YWBB right away. I googled "young widow support group" and found the site. I think I was looking for a step by step guide on how to get through this, but quickly learned that it didn't work that way. I met some of the nicest people who have become close friends. Others I only know virtually, but as I see their lives moving in a positive direction, I am rooting for them. And I know that they're rooting for me too.

It's been over three years since I lost him, and even now I occasionally find myself here. There are somethings that only other widows understand.
"And still they lead me back
To the long, winding road
You left me standing here,
A long, long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here,
Lead me to your door."
The Beatles


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  • Cancer Widow November 2011
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #50 on: March 09, 2015, 08:57:27 PM »
I found ywbb in 2012. I never wrote a post yet I read daily. I was shocked to find ywbb cut off so abruptly without time allowed for transition. It is sad those who started such a wonderful place couldn't find a way to pass the torch. I, along with many of you,
felt abandoned. I applaud all those who reacted so quickly to set up a new venue. Thank you.

My husband R was diagnosed with stage IV Cancer in 2010. We had a 3 year old and 5 month old at the time. We were shocked. R had a very hard time facing his diagnosis. He withdrew. It's like he wanted to run from it. He literally started to live a separate life; going on trips alone and running up tons of bills. It was excruciating for me. I was devastated but had to carry on caring for two young children. My older child has special needs so I was very busy. I remember holding tears back as I put the kids to bed then crying for hours every night.

R finally came back to his senses but he remained in denial of his prognosis. The day the doctors told him he was out of treatment options, R asked why no one told him his disease was that serious. It was heartbreaking. I stayed with him in the hospital and later hospice 24/7. He was afraid to be alone. As he began to lose his senses, I made sure to constantly tell him I was there. I only left his side to use the restroom. The rest of the time I spent holding his hand. He spoke to Jesus and angels. It brought relief to know he felt at peace when he passed. I would need that comfort to keep me strong in the coming years.

I had many challenges to face. There were significant financial issues that needed to be resolved. The children were 5 and 2 when he died. I would learn how to become a single parent while juggling a career, maintaining a household and becoming a fierce advocate for my son. I have survived a lot. We could have easily been bankrupted. It's been 3-1/2 years and I am finally nearing the end of the financial negotiations. It looks like we will make it. We have survived.

My grief can be complicated. I am mad R didn't plan for his kids. He advised others to do so yet he neglected his own family. Other times I wonder if I have really grieved at all considering how much I have had to handle since R died. Then there is the true love I had for him. He came into my life and encouraged me to grow in ways I would have never imagined. He was my love, my friend, my confidant, and business partner. We were immersed in so many ways. My life is truly better because he was in it. For that, I will forever miss him. Not a day goes by without me thinking of him.

He was a talented and creative man. He left many pieces of art he created. I cherish each one of them. One day the children will inherit these wonderful gifts he left behind.

I look forward to being part of this community.
My life is better because you were in it. You encouraged me to stretch my wings. I will forever be grateful. Rest in Peace Babe. Till we meet again.


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #51 on: March 09, 2015, 09:45:38 PM »
My husband was on a business trip and the day he was supposed to come home he had a heart attack in his hotel room. I had spoken to him in the morning and expected to hear from him when he arrived at the airport. By 4:00 pm I knew something wasn't right and I started to try to track him down. The hotel staff went to check the room around 1:00pm since he hadn't checked out. It wasn't until around 8pm I finally got someone at the hotel to tell me. I was a bit irritated to learn they called the car rental company around 3 pm to get the rental car, but they didn't bother to call me. The coroners office in my county arrived about 10 pm to inform me, better late then never I guess.

The first year was a blur. Year 2 came too fast and I wished I was still in year one, but each year has been easier. I've learned time flies even when you are not having fun. I am doing well and while I'm still a little uncomfortable in the singles scene, I have slowly begun to enter the dating world and am excited to see how my life plays out.


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #52 on: March 09, 2015, 10:04:12 PM »
My name is Tracey (DrMommy from the previous boards). My husband was diagnosed (after a year and a half of mis-diagnoses) with Stage 4 Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma at the age of 35. He survived the gnarly treatment and went into remission. We struggled with fertility for years. All I ever wanted was a boy and girl born in August as I, my mom, my brother and other close family members were born in August and I wanted 2 little cubs to join our pride. Fertility docs wouldn't even do invitro on us because of the damage caused by the intensive chemo treatment. Fast forward....after a lot of prayer and surrender (oh...and I am a scientist so that didn't hurt) I conceived naturally and have 2 little Leo cubs born on August 1 and August 18th.

My husband fell suddenly ill in May of 2013 and went fully septic in a matter or 3 days. He had developed a rare and nearly always fatal blood disorder eventually diagnosed as HLH (thought to have been dormant and triggered by previous chemo treatment). He fought like hell to live, but my 2 young children and I found him dead in our home on a Saturday morning. We have been devastated and traumatized. I am still picking up the pieces.

And to add to mom (who was my closest friend) died only a matter of weeks before my husband. We were not told she was fighting terminal uterine/liver cancer. I had 10 days to find out, put her in hospice, and say good bye. Her mother (with whom I was intensely close) died 12 weeks before her.

2013 was an absolute shit storm. I have since sold my house, bought a new one, have become sole provider and parent and and trying to re-engage in life. I know I am not done living and loving.
Reality has set...thawing in life.


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #53 on: March 09, 2015, 11:56:42 PM »
Hi, I'm Angie. 

My husband Rob and I were somehow meant to be together.  He by far was the funniest man I ever knew - he had a brilliant, dry, quick wit that kept me in stitches.  He was a kind and nurturing soul - he was kind and gentle with the young and the elderly.  I loved watching him around my grandma and his grandparents. 

We got married twice, thanks to Deserts Shield & Storm.  He was in the Air Force and left after 10 years and went into the AF Reserves.  He got his degree and ended up finishing a career handling insurance fraud.  Rob was a runner in high school and for a year in college.  He didn't run much during our marriage but his family said it was beautiful to watch him run (he ran the mile and mile medley) - his fastest time in HS was 4.19 and in college it was 4.11 (I remember that because it's my height).

Rob was my best friend, the perfect complement to me.  He was laid back and easy going and I am hyper and always on overdrive.  He was pretty healthy on the outside but had some issues with high blood pressure.  He was thin and seemed to be in perfect health.  However, he left us far too soon due to a cerebral aneurism.  We are now almost 33 months out.

My daughter was 13 at the time of his passing.  I think she was my lifeline - my reason for living.  People perceived me to be strong and yet, as I look back, I think I fell into this deep abyss.  I was on auto pilot - my memory was shot, my brain was shot.  I could only focus on making sure my daughter would be okay.  I miss him every day. 

I know this is getting long but I thought I would post my first posts on YWBB.  I joined in August of 2012.  I couldn't read the threads - it was too painful for me and Lord knows, I was pushing my pain aside just to survive.  I think it took me damn near two years to allow myself to be sad.  I had my crying moments in the shower, in the car, in private.  But I kept those moments very brief.  I started and stopped, and started and stopped a private blog to write my thoughts out - it was a bit cathartic at times and at others, so very painful that I had to leave it.  (and as for the slacks mentioned below, they are still hanging in my closet)

Anyway - here are my posts:

YWBB on 9-2-12
I am so sorry for everyone's loss. I signed onto the board on 08/02. I could only post a few words at the time.

I have been pretty much in a fog. As the fog lifts, there is still so much to do. I am getting the medical bills now and I put them away.

Rob died from an aneurism. I found him downstairs and called 911. A neighbor came over to help me. He was still alive but having a hard time breathing. They did surgery - I had a little hope that he would come through, but with major medical problems. He had been responding. Then later that evening/morning, they called me at my brother's home (he lives 2 miles from the hospital). His fluid was building up againg and they put in the shunt. By this time - severe brain damage. We got back to the hospital within a half hour - 3:30 a.m. We said our good-byes less than 12 hours later.

My best friend and love of 21 years was gone at 53. I feel lost without him. We have a 13 yo and will be going to a program called bridges.

This is so hard. And I feel so sad for all that have to go through this horrible time. I hope we can get through this - I call it "our new normal."

YWBB on 9-2-12
I gave away Rob's suits to my nephew. I asked my DD to pick things she wanted. We are keeping his shirts as a friend is going to make a quilt. I am taking his shoes and slacks to a place for people that need work clothes/interview clothes and can't pay for them. I gave ties to his best friend, brothers, and my daughter. I still have several.

I can't get to the socks, t-shirts and underwear. I have the craziest moments at the littlest things. When I returned his work cell phone. When i had to cancel the Long Term Care policy. When I changed the insurance on the car. I cry and feel like I am erasing him one piece at a time.

"I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would make me cry." ~Cat Stevens


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  • Our love was true, Greg. Jan 1984 - Aug 2014
Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #54 on: March 10, 2015, 02:10:46 AM »
Hi everyone, thank God I found this forum to release my emotions and thoughts? (this was posted 19th of November 2014)

My husband passed away last 24th of August 2014 at the age of 30. It was a sudden death. I found him in the toilet at 2:30 in the morning lying and without vital signs. We rushed him in the hospital but declared dead on arrival after an hour of revival.

I have two wonderful boys, ages 2 years old and 1 year old. My kids miss their father so much. I know because as a mother, although they do not know how to express their emotions yet, I can feel it. I can feel the longing of my children for their father. That is why I need to wake up and put a smile on my face each day for my 2 boys. I do not want them to feel that they are losing me as well?

I want my kids to be happy, but how can I give them the happiness they need if I am so broken inside?
Greg was very loving to our children. He loved to shower them with his kisses and hugs; unfortunately, they will not remember those things anymore ? they will, someday, forget how their father loved them.

I want to be surrounded with people. However, after the funeral, our friends and some family members are now silent? The people who said they will help me and be with me in this journey are busy already with their own challenges in this cosmic life? All I have are my 2 boys and my beautiful parents who frequently visit us at home?

Greg was my soul mate. I still wish he never died. I miss him every single day. For more than 11 years, he was with me.

I love him so much.
This journey is very painful.
 Greg 01.27.1984 - 08.24.2014
We had our worst and BEST of times, I'm happy we didn't give up.

Our love was perfect. When my mission on earth is done, see you in heaven!
You are my Angel now.
A frequent "hello" from Heaven will ease my pain...

I love you my one true love.


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #55 on: March 10, 2015, 03:24:03 AM »
Hi all! I am hoping that my one-year-behind-wid-sis joins us here, she was Max2507 (I think)...I am HvnBound, live in Illinois but say St Louis area, can see the St Louis arch from my deck and kitchen window. I am getting my house ready to be placed on the market. No real help in that arena but am working on it on my own. I have been to quite a few bagos and minibagos and those helped me so much.

I was widowed on May 4, 2012, DH was a diabetic with a myriad of other health problems and he died of heart failure/stroke. We thought he would live, we were wrong.

I am currently trying to get my place on the market and sold. I am trying to move forward with my life and have new interests and new goals, number one is to move out of this area asap. I am so thankful for this site!!!

"It's time to start living the life you've imagined."

  --  Henry James

Sometimes you just have to die a little inside in order
to be reborn and rise again as a stronger and wiser version of you.
  -- Unknown


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #56 on: March 10, 2015, 07:40:36 AM »
My Name is Sandy and I lost my husband Eric on 02/26/2015, 12 days ago.  Eric and I started dating in 1992 when he was 18 and I 21, we dated for almost 3 years.  We broke up for 5 years and reunited in 2001 we were married in November of 2002.  E was diagnosed with high BP and End Stage Renal Disease at 27. He receive a kidney transplant from his mother in 2003.

He had been ill (the flu) dehydrated for about 2 weeks, he went to his regular kidney appointment and they admitted him for dehydration.  He spent 3 days in the hospital getting fluids and attempting to eat.  He came home with still no appetite but knew he needed to eat.  He went back to work 2 days after the hospital as he is stubborn and if he "goes to work, I will feel better" "I just need to get back to work".  Saturday morning he woke up, checked his BP and his heart rate was a bit elevated, Took a shower, complained of nasal drip making his stomach upset, he kissed me goodbye (3 quick kisses), told me he loved me and left for work. 

I received a call from my MIL stating that his job called his dad and said he had a Heart attack.  I immediately call his job and they confirmed.  Panicing I called my brother and he drove me to the hospital in a blinding snowstorm as fast as he could.  When we got to the hospital the doctors said he had had a cardiac arrest that caused a heart attack.  They weren't sure if how long he was down so they put him into a medically induced coma for 24 hours.  We do not believe he was conscious at any time.

After the 24 hours was up, they warmed him but they discovered he had a bacterial blood infection that his body was fighting and  due to the hit to all organs the kidney was not filtering the sedation from his body.  They started a slow dialysis to help remove the sedation, toxins and infection from his body.  After 24 hours of dialysis he was beginning to open his eyes and the neurologist was getting some response.  We were cautiously optimistic. 

I went home that night anticipating more responses the next day.  I received a call from the hospital at 4:50 AM that my husband was not doing well and I needed to get to the hospital.  I called my MIL and we both were on our way.  When we arrived at the hospital they said his lung had collapsed and his heart stopped again.  He was having trouble with the vent and I knew this was it. 

Discussions with the doctors were not even close to hopeful.  Our biggest wish for my husband is that he was not baptised as a child however raised in a catholic household.  He always wanted to go through the classes and be baptized, anointed and confirmed.  We expressed out wishes to the nurses and hospital staff.  The hospital E was taken to is a faith based hospital and they were able to provide my husband, MIL and myself with our wish to have him baptized .  I believe that once he was baptized, anointed and confirmed he was at peace. 

We called his family (4 siblings), my family and our closest friends to come to the hospital.  I had to make the hardest decision and sign the most horrible paper in the world.  My husband was removed from all life support and passed away surrounded by his family and closest friends at 6:30 PM on February 26, 2015. 

The past 2 1/2 weeks have been filled with "things to do"  To/From the hospital, Funeral planning, calls being made/making calls, people texting, calling and stopping over.  The last few days I have finally been by myself at my house.  I am still in shock and denial.  I keep thinking E is at work (he worked a lot) or out of town.  I really haven't cried and i am frustrated at this.  I want to cry, sob, scream and throw things. I feel too rational and I am frustrated. 

I have started to work half days to get back to our "routine" hoping this will trigger the real feelings inside and help me start to really feel my loss.  I know everyone grieves differently and it takes time but it is frustrating.

Thank you for listening,
Sandy - E's wife
Sandy - E's Wife

"My Darlin, you are wonderful tonight......"


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #57 on: March 10, 2015, 11:02:47 AM »
I'm Jessica. My husband passed on Monday, December 8, 2014 at the age of 48. We had spent a wonderful weekend buying and decorating a Christmas tree and putting lights up outside the house. Sunday night we put our 5 year old daughter to sleep and went to bed. He often got up in the middle of the night due to insomnia; he would go to our guest room and quietly watch tv until he became tired again and would return to bed. Monday morning the alarm went off and he wasn't in bed. This had only happened a couple times but it didn't alarm me. I went to the guest room and found him in the bed; he had been propped up watching the tv but slumped over. I tried to wake him and realized something was terribly wrong. Called 911 and performed chest compressions until the EMTs arrived 5 minutes later. They worked on him for about 20 minutes but could not bring him back. He had suffered a sudden, massive cardiac event (no history whatsoever). I know it must have been extremely sudden because the blankets he had on up to his waist were not disturbed so I know he didn't thrash in pain. It's like, it hit and he went down.

We had been together 20 years, married for 17 (our 18th anniversary is at the end of this month). I'm 40 and find myself a single mother to a 5 year old daughter and we're both grieving very hard.

Thank you for providing this forum. I tried to register for YWBB, but, well...... you know.
"He was my North, my South, my East and West..." W.H. Auden

My love is with you always, Charles. 6/29/66 - 12/08/14


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #58 on: March 10, 2015, 01:56:50 PM »
Hello all. I'm glad so many familiar names have made it here. I'm also glad for the introductions as I feel I've forgotten so many in the early months of grief and fog. I extend a warm welcome to the newer widows. I'm so sorry you have to be part of this group but I'm also so grateful that you found this place!

Sorry to take so long to post here but after losing my first two posts to this thread, I discovered that I needed to check off the little "do not log out" box when logging in....yep, that's how long it takes me to compose a brief history.  :P lol 

But, I will try to keep this one short and sweet.

Hubby & I met in 1980 when driving around and cutting laps with friends.  I saw this cute guy in a nice car and mentioned it to my girlfriends and they concocted a plan for all of us to blow kisses at him on the next pass.

However, my girlfriends ducked down at the last second so only I ended up blowing him a kiss...which freaked him out but also piqued his interest. Half an hour later both of us were stopped at the local burger joint and he invited us to ride around in his car. Well, that was that. We couldn't stop watching each other in the rear view mirror and once everyone else was dropped off at their respective homes, we drove around alone for a bit of talking. When he dropped me off at my front door, he asked for a kiss and I told him he was rather forward for just meeting me. So he said it was for his birthday. I made him pull out his driver's license so I could check the date (it was) so he got his kiss. He thought it was funny I didn't believe his 'line'. I told him his line only worked because I thought he was cute.

After that we were inseparable and were married four years later on his birthday. I often teased him that not only had I met him driving around, most of our dating was driving around as were most of our vacations plus he ended up driving for a living!  Can you tell he loved driving? lol

We had three children and were happily married 26 years when he was killed just before Christmas 2010 in a vehicle accident. Having the police come to the door with the news was very traumatic.My only consolation was that he was killed instantly.

 I've had a lot of losses in my life (parent, 3 siblings, close friends) but his is the loss that crushed me and broke me completely. I am grateful for my faith as I feel that is the bedrock that helped me rebuild after his death. Its ironic that I'm called to survive what I always thought would be un-survivable. My hope that I will see him again is what sustains me. (though I'm saddened it won't be what we had in this world, I trust/hope it will be somehow better).

I'm also grateful for the friends I've made here and the support I found in those early terrible days. It was of immense comfort to be understood and not judged for my feelings and thoughts on grief. Most importantly, it was helpful to find others that said, 'Me too!". As CS Lewis puts it so well: "Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ."
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Being the only youngish widow in my circle of family and friends it was tough for it came with lots of judgment and public curiosity but YWBB was my saving grace. And I will always be grateful for that.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2015, 07:09:14 PM by Munsen »


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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #59 on: March 10, 2015, 03:30:37 PM »
I"m Sandy (klim) , I lost my husband Mike to a sudden unexpected catastrophic heart attack in April 2013. He was 50 yr old and the healthy living type of guy. Ate right  and was always working out. On the day he died his last words to me were" I'm going to go downstairs to do a ride and then finish off my fruit"
His heart attack happened while he was  doing his daily exercise ride. The coroner said he was dead before he hit the floor. I tried cpr while my then 15 yr old son dialed 911...............

He loved us dearly , his sons were everything to him. He was my rock, my motivator, my love. I mourn hardest not for myself but for my children's loss. I know I can handle myself.But I can't be everything to my two sons now 17 and 19)] that he could have been. I try hard. It was and is my number one concern...that my children know they will be fine. Part of what I do is lead by example and show them that I am fine. Life goes on......