Author Topic: I'm having a baby tomorrow  (Read 8761 times)

deedee

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I'm having a baby tomorrow
« on: April 19, 2015, 10:05:03 AM »
I'm having a baby tomorrow.  Alone.  I won't technically be alone since of course family with be there with me, but the one person that should be there won't be.  My husband has been gone for just over seven weeks and I still can't believe this is happening.  How on earth am I going to do this?  Give birth to our baby without him, raise two kids alone. This reality is just so far from what I could ever have imagined my life turning into. To say that I am terrified would be an understatement.  I know I just have to breathe and do it.  But this just sucks beyond words.  I feel so bad for my daughter, because instead of looking forward to the day she is going to be born, I am just dreading it and thinking how wrong it is that her daddy won't be there, knowing that it will be such a sad day for me. 

widowat33

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2015, 10:17:50 AM »
I'm so sorry you have to go through this alone. Yes, I get what you are saying about this reality not being what you imagined, I have thought that many times, this is not the life I planned.
Sending you hugs and hoping that the joy a little one can bring into your life outweighs the sadness in the days ahead!

Lost35

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2015, 11:47:02 AM »
Deedee, 

My heart goes out to you.  I wish you well tomorrow.  If you have a photo of your husband that you love, bring it with you.  It might help to have it there.  My favorite photo from the day our son was born was of him and me with a photo of P. in the background, beside us.  It helped to know he was "there" even in a very small sense of the word...

Take care, Mamma, and let us know how it goes.  I'll be thinking of you both.

-L.

Trying

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2015, 11:58:23 AM »
Deedee there is absolutely nothing fair about you having to go through this alone.  When you hold your baby girl in your arms there will be so many mixed emotions but I hope you are able to feel the spirit of your DH with you and in her.  I would put one family in charge of taking photos  and one in charge of writing a diary of sorts, times, specifics, visitors, special moments because my guess is it will all be a blur to you.  That way you will have the memories to share with your daughter when she is older.

My heart goes out to you, wishing you a safe delivery.
You will forever be my always.

SoVerySad

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2015, 12:11:33 PM »
I am sending you the tightest of hugs. I can't begin to imagine the conflicting emotions you are feeling. I am so very sorry your husband can't be there with you tomorrow. It does suck and it is so wrong. Of course your baby will be a blessing, yet is completely understandable to be experiencing all that you are feeling now.

More hugs, honey. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow.
Without you, Baby, I'm not me.

Lisa

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2015, 12:38:01 PM »
Sending good thoughts and hugs your way. best of luck.
"All the waves must reach the shore before the water calms"-Ray ♡

keeptrying

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2015, 01:28:13 PM »
Deedee, PLEASE send an update to tell me how it went. I am a bit in the same spot and I am SCARED to death. I am pregnant, due soon and I have 6 small kids. Giving birth alone without my husband is completely terrifying. He was always next to me to cheer me on, tell me how proud he was of me, make sure everything went right and worried for me. I am terrified that if something goes wrong, he won't be there to save us. Am I going to be in labor and think of him the whole time? Picture him? Will that make it worse? He won't be there to cut the umbilical cord, hold his baby, talk to him. I will be completely alone. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how I am going to do this. Just thinking about it makes me cry. It isn't so much the physical pain, but the mental pain is one thing I never thought I would have to worry about on a day that was supposed to be so happy. I hurt for me, I hurt for my baby. I can't even put into words how I feel and the emotions that are running through me. Please let me know what happens, let me know this can be done.

Kealoha

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2015, 07:14:09 PM »
Hugs hugs hugs Deedee.  I have no good words right now but wanted to say I am thinking of you and your children.

Brenda

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2015, 07:18:20 PM »
Deedee, best of luck to you and baby tomorrow.  It'll all go well.  Sending a massive hug over to you.

lcoxwell

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #9 on: April 19, 2015, 07:36:31 PM »
I truly am sorry, that you are having to face the birth of your baby girl without your husband there, by your side, as he should be. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through, though I am sure your are filled with many mixed emotions. I will be keeping you in my thoughts tomorrow, and I hope all goes well for your and your baby.
"The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." - Thornton Wilder

Thank you, my dearest Kenneth, for loving me and for giving me the best 13 years of my life.

Jen

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2015, 08:24:42 PM »
Oh, Deedee, soooo many hugs. I know you can do this. I'll light my birth candle for you tomorrow, just know you're not going through this alone. Beautiful birth vibes to you!!

(((((((HUGS)))))))
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton

Carey

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #11 on: April 20, 2015, 08:07:42 AM »
She will be a piece of him brought back to you in tangible form that you can touch and hold.  I got goosebumps reading your post, and I can't even fathom what you are facing, having so much grief and sadness mixed in with joy and elation at the addition to your family.  There really are no words , no comfort but I do believe with all my heart he will be there with you today.  {{{HUGS}}}
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

Jess

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #12 on: April 20, 2015, 09:21:15 AM »
I wish I had magic words to make everything okay, but all I can offer are positive thoughts to you.
On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. - Unknown

Don't be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous. - Hazrat Inayat Khan

Joe: 1979- 7/2014

SoVerySad

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #13 on: April 20, 2015, 12:55:53 PM »
My thoughts are with you today, DeeDee. I'm hoping you are having/have had a smooth delivery and that holding your new baby will help soften the difficulty of the day. Please update us when you can. I'm sure you've had lots of widdas sending you prayers and positive thoughts today.

Hugs to you...
Without you, Baby, I'm not me.

Mizpah

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Re: I'm having a baby tomorrow
« Reply #14 on: April 20, 2015, 03:44:47 PM »
I cannot even imagine what you are or will be going through.  I wanted to respond, though, to tell you that when I lost my DH about 4 years ago I went onto YWBB (this site's former site), and made friends there I think I will have lifelong.  Two of them were pregnant when their DHs died.  Their daughters are healthy, happy, beautiful girls, and the mothers, though of course they struggle with sadness and other issues, are doing really well.  I hope my sharing this will serve as hope and not further upset.  I hope you find comfort and solace and joy in your beautiful new baby. 
widowed 2011 (DH 28)