Time Frame > Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)

Our suggestions for the newly widowed

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This was me at 4 months mark in July last year. Very dark times.

I'm so sorry for even posting this for I know there are a lot of widows(ers) that lost their spouses to suicide. I'm at 5 months and I found myself one morning (few weeks ago) with his insulin pen...opened...wasn't a bad dream. I go on contemplating I'll just have to go through with the paper work and then I can just go with him. I've been suicidal before, that's no secret but when it hit's me, all I can think is I want to go. it's just so strong the feeling when it hits me (today not, thank goodness) and it's so real. I'm one of those that lurk. Recently I've posted a few. And everything is just awful. The flashbacks, the feeling everything was a dream (please wake me up from this nightmare!!!!). But why?

I gave myself one year. Either it gets better or I'm done. Why the F!!!!!!! Shiish this sucs!

Suicidal thoughts and thoughts of pointlessness are normal for us wids. Hang on and reach out to us! YWBB caught me. We shall do that to you. Don't be afraid!

Thanks for reaching out to me Tweety.  I have not had any other out-of-body experiences or suicidal thoughts.  What happened next was panic attacks so severe that I had to be medicated.  My doctor also put me on Abilify to work with the Cymbalta that I take for fibromyalgia nerve pain and it seems to be working pretty well.

I also pray a lot!  You will be in my prayers.

You are allowed to cry.  Cry as much as you want ... kick, scream, and have that temper tantrum.  I did it when I was alone, and it honestly felt good!  I felt so much better after I allowed myself to cry and throw a fit.  I was sick of people telling me how strong, brave, etc. I was.

Channel the anger into something productive like housework or exercise. I had the cleanest house and yard for miles around! I do recommend exercise though. It was the absolute last thing I felt like doing but it makes us feel better, walking especially. Sometimes, it's just good to get out of our heads and not think for a while.

Eating as much healthy food as you can manage is also helpful with affecting our mental state.

I wish I had dealt with Late Husband's credit card account earlier.  As soon as I answered the phone from them and told them what happened, they closed the account and stopped running up interest.

The woman on the phone was quick to tell me that I was not personally liable for his debt.  Since there was an "estate" to sue, they did ask for the balance.  Since I know I HAD whatever Late husband purchased, I paid it. 


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