Author Topic: 6 months - What to expect?  (Read 100 times)

Megan89

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6 months - What to expect?
« on: December 10, 2017, 01:44:13 AM »
I'll hit the 6th month mark on Monday the 11th.

Just curious if anyone noticed any significant changes on the half year mark?? Anything that you tried to do differently once you got past the initial shock?

Julester3

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Re: 6 months - What to expect?
« Reply #1 on: December 10, 2017, 08:33:36 AM »
My kids and I had to break traditions and do them all differently. We always went somewhere else for thanksgiving but instead we hosted it. We had one of my siblings host Christmas where we were the ones always hosting it. We travelled for New Year's instead of staying home. We limited our invitations. We would never decline any because we liked to be festive but we didn't have the energy so we picked and chose. We decorated the house differently. We became less materialistic and more into doing things together and having life experiences. With us being in the holiday season, these are the things that pop up in my mind.

Trying

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Re: 6 months - What to expect?
« Reply #2 on: December 10, 2017, 09:16:51 AM »
For me I think it was reality setting in.  In the beginning I was on auto pilot and trying to keep things the same for my kids.  I soon realized there was no way it would ever be the same.  I withdrew from family and friends a lot (not something I recommend) and started thinking more about the future.  The permanence of life without him was sinking in and I made some selfish and unwise decisions trying to make myself feel better.

On a more positive side I did start to function better at work and started to get small things accomplished.

The big thing is to manage your expectations and continue to be kind to yourself.  6 months is still very early days.
You will forever be my always.

Toosoon2.0

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Re: 6 months - What to expect?
« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2017, 11:18:19 AM »
Trying's post is so close to what I would have written.  It mirrors my experience very closely.  This is the time to be as easy on yourself as possible.  I, too, powered through until six months somehow believing that it was a magical date that would somehow turn the grieving clock off.  I was wrong, and I paid for it.  I, too, became extremely reclusive and paid for this, too.  Try to surround yourself with a few good friends who understand or who at least have the patience to try to understand what you're going through.  The good new is, by the time one year rolled around, things were starting to recalibrate.  Lean on people here; reach out to people in your same time frame.  That's one of the smarter decisions I made.  I spent hundreds of hours on the phone with other widows talking it through.  For a while there, they were my life-line and are still now, years later, dear friends.  Take care of yourself.  Christine