Author Topic: This is the year  (Read 1741 times)

Needytoo

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This is the year
« on: May 01, 2015, 11:45:14 AM »
Since my husband's passing I have had half of the house renovated which has been a huge improvement in this old house.  My husband was a bit of a hoarder and the basement was packed full.   I have gotten rid of so much down there but there is still crap down there, it is a never ending story down there swear to god it multiples during the night.  During our marriage he had his chores and I had mine and for some reason he  never liked me helping me with his.  Not sure if he thought I was overbearing or because he thought that was the correct thing to do.  Anyway I still have issues doing his chores and I know I have to get over it.  It is a mix of the grieving monster and self doubt when I do chores he use to always do.    Well fellow wids I am ready to face it.  "Operation, fix my yard so it doesn't look like an abandoned farmhouse" has started today.  Today was the first time I walked my property since his passing (yes I know shocking I know I have issues) and things are bad.  Today I started on my patio. Two years of untreated weeds have taken up residence between the patio stones.  Been out there for five hours and it still looks horrible.  Any inspirational words?  Kicking myself for letting it go this long. 

linda5

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Re: This is the year
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2015, 12:02:24 PM »
Good for you! I hate yardwork the most.  I mow, but as far as edging and blowing ... gone!  If the neighbors don't like it, they can come over and edge and blow!

Virgo

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Re: This is the year
« Reply #2 on: May 01, 2015, 01:38:40 PM »
Yard work is hard work. Normally I'm not one to hire anyone to do my yardwork, but in your case I might since it's been awhile since it's been maintained. That way you can just keep it up afterwards. If that's not an option, just do one area a time.

My husband always took care of the mowing, but I took care of the flower gardens. My father in-law has been mowing for me. I keep telling him that my two older daughters and I are more than able, but he insists on doing it. He HATES flowers and shrubs, so I'm sure it's taking everything within him not to mow over my landscaping. lol
Jen

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Needytoo

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Re: This is the year
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2015, 06:09:56 AM »
Last year I did hire a guy to chop down some dead trees too bad I didn't clean up the mess afterwards. Worked on my patio all day yesterday, it is looking better but I will need to do some work on the patio stones. Guess my husband was correct when he said we should have done a deck. Cleaned out the old BBQ  and it still works! My husband bought a boat and used it once. Little bit scared what I will find when I remove the tarp, hopefully there isn't a family of raccoons in there. Really wish I was on this last year. 

Captains wife

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Re: This is the year
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2015, 06:25:19 AM »
First of all, good for you for tackling things ! With the sudden death of my husband, I am left with a relatively large property that needs a lot of upkeep (although luckily we didn't buy a fixer upper) and its in a wooded area so I can empathize! Believe me, you can do this and if there are tasks you don't want to do/cant do, then hire someone local and feel good about offering employment to someone. If you look at EVERYTHING that has to get done, that will be overwhelming - maybe put a list together of what really needs to be done first in your mind and slowly cross things off day by day. (I am a list person so this works for me). For large projects, don't try and tackle it all in one day, just chisel away at it a bit at a time. For example, I let a huge garden in the back get overgrown so everyday last year I would tackle a small part of it - pull weeks, turning over dirt, laying down mulch, planting low maintenance bulbs rather than do annuals. For days, it looked bad but its slowly improving (I am on year 2 of the project). On a positive side, these house projects can keep your hands and mind busy so it provide some grief relief.

JeanGenie

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Re: This is the year
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2015, 06:29:24 AM »
I hear ya...  We had the same division of labor which makes sense when you're in a partnership and it sucks now that we are left to do it all ourselves.  First, give yourself credit for cleaning out stuff inside.  My DH's areas were a workshop in the basement, a garage, shed, and anywhere else outside he wanted to keep things.  I've done minimal cleanup in the basement and garage (just the obvious stuff like 6 used batteries...I exaggerate but not much).  Since he has passed, I have done outside cleanup and have stayed on top of maintaining the yard as best I can. I had to learn how to use the riding mower and spreading mulch and planting flowers.  Anyhow, all of this is to say...take it one section at a time, one project at a time and don't try to do it all at once.  As others have said, if you can afford it, hire someone to do some of the work so you can make a good dent in it and then you just need to maintain ("just"...still an ongoing project).  There are days when I look out at the yard and feel a sense of pride at how nice it looks and I hope DH's happy that I carried on from him.  Then, of course, there are days when I'm outside crying because he should be here to take care of it all.  But this is the home we made together and I try to find some pride and comfort in knowing that I'm continuing to care for it the best I can.  I've also taken before and after pictures even of silly things like painting the bulkhead.  Then when I look at it now, I can go back and look at how bad it was and feel a sense of pride.  So good for you for working on the patio!  Enjoy each little job or section that you work on and take pride in what you've done.  Taking care of a yard is a huge responsibility but you're tackling it...little by little!

Oh, and regarding the boat...my advise...make lots of noise and bang the side of the boat to scare away anything that might be hiding in there before taking off that tarp!!  :D
I miss how happy I was with you.

IfIonlycould

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Re: This is the year
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2015, 09:04:45 AM »
Good for you NeedyToo!   Come join us in "Goals" thread anytime and post a few things you want to accomplish every day,  few days or week....somehow posting it and then reporting back seems to help alot of us!

My Advice:  Divide your yard into sections and work on a section at a time, do not look up and around at the whole yard as seeing what still needs to be done can be very overwhelming and discouraging.  Little by little you will get through it!  Remember it did not fall apart in a month it will take a bit of time to get it back together.  One trick I  used when DH and I bought a house with a brick patio area that was actually quite lovely but completely weeded over: hot boiling salt water...throw it on the patio and wait a day ..it will kill the weeds and then just sweep them up (there may be few stubborn ones rooted well get those the old fashioned way...just remember the salt water will kill other plants and grass so be careful of overspray.  If you have flower beds you will have to do those the old fashioned pull the weeds out way, but once you have done this and thinned any perennials put Preen on top of the soil and then mulch OVER it (directions say to Preen on top of mulch)  this is a trick I learned that works like a charm to make my flowerbeds practically maintenance free all summer.  I am NOT a fan of chemicals but this is where I bend the rules....you may still have to weed a little but it really cuts down on it!  Preen can be found at garden centers, big box stores and even Costco...I get Preen n Green to help feed the flowers too.

Good luck and keep us posted on how it's going!
We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.
Aristotle Onassis

Needytoo

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Re: This is the year
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2015, 01:16:19 PM »
Thank you IfIonlycould. I tried that vinegar, dish liquid and vinegar recipe last year on the weeds but unfortunately the weeds were just too high and it rained so much I don't think it got a chance to work.  I still have a bunch of epsom salts left over so I will try boiling water and salting it. 
I definitely will go a section at a time.  I have a bunch of apple, pear and cherry trees and unfortunately most of their fruit just fell on the ground.  I found out that the local food bank will come out and pick the fruit for us this year if I can't keep on it.   Definitely will take them up on that this year if I need to.  I have collected bags and bags of huge pine cones which I will be bring over to the senior center so they can make Christmas wreaths. 
My flower beds are totally full of that crab grass stuff.  I will go and pick up the stuff at Costco next week.  Did a 5 km run this morning and then put in a couple hours cleaning the yard and I am so sore.  Now going to try salting the patio. 

IfIonlycould

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Re: This is the year
« Reply #8 on: May 03, 2015, 08:08:17 AM »
NeedyToo-Make sure you pull all weeds BEFORE using Preen, it is a preventer not a killer,  you will still have to yank everything out the old fashioned way but putting Preen down and then a layer of mulch I usually don't see weeds again til mid summer,  then I just pull the few that come up, put Preen down again (obviously this time over the mulch) and sit back. 
The saltwater needs to be as salty as the ocean,  not just a little salt.  Hope this all helps and makes it a bit easier!
We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.
Aristotle Onassis