Author Topic: My Mother is dying  (Read 2594 times)

BrokenHeart2

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My Mother is dying
« on: May 03, 2015, 09:10:02 PM »
I have 5 siblings and they are all being really weird. They think I should be taking care of,fMom because I'm not working and I have always done it. Well since I lost DH 23 months ago and I did Friday, I told them I am done.  Did it for 8 yrs with Mom don't have the strength to take Mom through the halls I did with DH 2 yrs ago. Figure it out.  Oh, lashback, they don't like to hear that. Too fucking bad. Take care of it for a change. I do have 2 brothers that have stepped up. Thank God for them
« Last Edit: May 04, 2015, 07:53:31 AM by BrokenHeart2 »
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Jen

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Re: My Mother is dyeing
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2015, 09:29:36 PM »
(((((Hugs)))))) I wish I had something better to say, but I've typed and deleted four times. Stupid useless words. More ((((hugs))))
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton

Virgo

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Re: My Mother is dyeing
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2015, 09:48:56 PM »
My mother passed away three months before my husband.  I have more regrets with the months leading up to her death than his because I wasn't with her as much toward the end of her life.  My husband's chemo treatments were at a cancer center almost four hours away.  I stayed with him. I was so torn. I wanted to be with her too. I was with my mom three hours before she passed. I understand that your mother's care isn't solely your responsibility but you might not want to step away completely.  Only you know what is best for you. I'm so sorry.  ((Hugs))
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

BrokenHeart2

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Re: My Mother is dyeing
« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2015, 11:07:19 PM »
JJ your words are always welcome.  The only dummy ones are the ones unspoken :
Thanks Virgo you are so right and I don't plan to step away completely.
After my DH died she was one of the very few that got me and has had my back for the past 2 yrs. I think that's why this is doubly hard. I'm now not only losing my Mom but also my best friend and my rock in this horrid journey. She guided me all of my life. How can I do this? How can this be happening?
 I just can't do the emergency stuff   It's to raw and hard for me right now. I will always do best by my Mom though. Even if my dickhead siblings do whatever. I'm used to that.
How can this be happening?
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

A Tout Jamais

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Re: My Mother is dyeing
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2015, 11:54:27 PM »

(((BrokenHeart2)))

So very sorry to hear this!

I am thinking of you and wish you strength to get through this very painful time!



ATJ
"Tu n'es plus là où tu étais, mais tu es partout là où je suis."
~~ Victor Hugo

"Je me souviens de toi ... Je me souviens de nous  - Il était une fois -  Je me souviens de tout!"

Trying

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Re: My Mother is dyeing
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2015, 02:21:48 AM »
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, I hope your siblings step up and do their share.  Wishing you strength and peace.
You will forever be my always.

canadiangirl

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Re: My Mother is dyeing
« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2015, 06:11:17 AM »
(((BrokenHeart2))) I am so sorry to hear this news.  This is one of my greatest fears.  You will be in my thoughts!

Carey

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Re: My Mother is dyeing
« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2015, 07:00:29 AM »
One would hope your siblings would be able to see that given what you've been through, being the automatic go to person in this situation would be devastating to you.  I am so sorry that you're losing your mother. There aren't adequate words.
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

Virgo

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Re: My Mother is dyeing
« Reply #8 on: May 04, 2015, 07:01:30 AM »
I felt the same way. How could this be happening? I lost two of the most important people in my life within 3 months. My mom was diagnosed with ALS about 4 years before my husband was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. I spent a lot of time caring for my mom before my husband's diagnosis, and like you my brother was never there. Hopefully ALL of your siblings will do right by your mom.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

Eddienhp

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Re: My Mother is dyeing
« Reply #9 on: May 04, 2015, 07:19:23 AM »
Hugs to you. Sometimes siblings need to be told exactly what to do. My mom has had a double stroke and respiratory failure in the past year requiring two hospitalizations and months of therapy. My sister is the first one to help since they live very close and my sister doesn't have kids. I am next but I have two kids 8 & under. My two brothers are clueless. Me and my sister made a plan for Mom's care then told the brothers what they had to do. We even wrote up a list. It's like taking care of children but me and my sister had to do it so we wouldn't burn out. Just a thought.

Hope the siblings step up to the plate and help you.
Best Wishes,
Eileen
My life is better because you were in it. You encouraged me to stretch my wings. I will forever be grateful. Rest in Peace Babe. Till we meet again.

SoVerySad

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Re: My Mother is dyeing
« Reply #10 on: May 04, 2015, 07:32:04 AM »
I'm so sorry, BH2. I know your mom's support has been so precious to you.

Tight, tight hugs...
Without you, Baby, I'm not me.

linda5

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Re: My Mother is dying
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2015, 10:04:29 PM »
Oh BH2, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom.  I'll be praying for your Mom, you, and that your siblings help out more.  You've done a lot of your Mom. Sending you peace and love.

BrokenHeart2

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Re: My Mother is dying
« Reply #12 on: May 11, 2015, 11:14:41 PM »
I thank you all for your amazing support. I just love my Widds! Not a lot of change as of lately. My Mom is one strong Woman. She wants to go 'home' I'm so sad but I get it. She has been bedridden for yrs and one of the strongest ladies I've ever known. Another bittersweet in this insane world.  Some days I hope I'm not as strong as she is. How insane or crazy does that sound?
Ugh?
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

CBB

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Re: My Mother is dying
« Reply #13 on: May 12, 2015, 09:52:10 AM »
Brokenheart2,

That doesn't sound crazy at all. Not at all. I can only imagine how difficult it is to hear her say she wants to come home and knowing that isn't possible. You are a strong lady. Your posts always speak to me. Your doing the best you can in such a crappy situation and your mother knows how much you love her. Sending you a ton of virtual hugs.

Cyndi
I am different! How could I not be?

Needytoo

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Re: My Mother is dying
« Reply #14 on: May 12, 2015, 02:13:48 PM »
Sending you strength.  .