Author Topic: Moving Blues  (Read 8066 times)

Trying

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #15 on: May 09, 2015, 05:59:09 AM »
I hope you are hanging in, packing up and moving is such a monumental task but add the emotional stress n top of it and it's off the charts.  I'm making a decision today about a move so I may be in your shoes shortly.  The idea of the new house makes me so excited for so many reasons and I know it's the right thing to do but just the thought of packing up "our house" has me panicking.

One task at a time, keep breathing, enlist whatever help you can find.  I wish you peace and happiness in your new place when all of this behind you. 
You will forever be my always.

Jess

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #16 on: May 09, 2015, 02:54:31 PM »
Thank you for all the encouraging posts. They mean a lot and I sure need them. The move is out of necessity as the chopping of household income of more than 50% means I cannot afford to stay here. I find myself putting off the tough areas and I have no choice but to just do it. So that is the plan today. I set it up so friends are picking up his arcade cabinet tomorrow that won't fit in the new place and at this moment there is so much stuff in there that no one could physically get in there to get it. So it is kind of forcing myself to have some urgency to get going on it. I will be glad when this is behind me and I am settled in the new place, but there is just so much emotionally taxing work to get there.
On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. - Unknown

Don't be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous. - Hazrat Inayat Khan

Joe: 1979- 7/2014

Amor

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #17 on: May 21, 2015, 11:16:06 AM »
Jess,
Are you settling into the new place ok?  Any suggestions, helpful hints, happy thoughts, or advice for people who will be moving shortly? 
Amor

mawidow

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #18 on: May 22, 2015, 02:09:12 PM »
I am so touched by everyone's posts and wishing Jess and Amor and all other people in transition a very soft landing in the new place.

Moving was hell, but being moved is the lightest feeling I've had in a long time. I gave away almost everything and don't regret it. I highly recommend doing things the MOST convenient way possible. I paid someone else to wash the windows and cover the peeling paint. I ate takeout burritos a lot. If anyone offered to move a load of stuff in their car, I took them up on it. I didn't do things perfectly, on purpose. But I got them done the gentlest way possible. It feels great to be out from under the mortgage, the yard, the upkeep, the weird co-owners, the feeling of being stuck in a shrine instead of a home.

I will say, I am two years out and still feel like life is unreal. My new place is not "home," no place on the planet feels like "home" - but that's just part of my widowhood process. I'm floating and that's okay.

Amor

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #19 on: May 22, 2015, 03:15:07 PM »
MAwidow,
Feeling like you are floating through life is very well put.  I feel that way at the moment but I know where I am now is where I should be for now. 
Amor

Jess

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #20 on: May 26, 2015, 12:47:03 PM »
Jess,
Are you settling into the new place ok?  Any suggestions, helpful hints, happy thoughts, or advice for people who will be moving shortly? 
Amor

Still furiously packing and getting various work done on the new place. Today, painters! I decided two key things that I think has removed some stress, though stress is still very much there.

1. I will not be trying to make decisions on Joe's things. I am simply packing it and will put it in one of the spare bedrooms to go through things at my own pace.
2. For the first time, I am hiring movers. I have always done moves myself or gotten friends to help, but professionals sound like the better option this time around.

I will update more when I am settled in at the new place!
On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. - Unknown

Don't be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous. - Hazrat Inayat Khan

Joe: 1979- 7/2014

Wheelerswife

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #21 on: May 26, 2015, 12:48:12 PM »
Good for you, Jess!

Hugs,

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

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Trying

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #22 on: May 26, 2015, 02:24:22 PM »
You're an inspiration to me!  I will definitely hire movers, it's way too much to ask of friends and family.

Unfortunately I have to go through Tim's stuff because I am downsizing so much but I'm a little further along and have already gone through some of his things at 2 different times. 

Good luck with the rest of the move, any helpful hints on how to not completely lose my mind would be appreciated!
You will forever be my always.

Amor

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #23 on: May 26, 2015, 03:58:25 PM »
Thanks for the update Jess.  I am trying to decide when to move my things.  This is one hard thing to do.  I may have to hire a mover or maybe I will do a uhaul box.  That maybe better because of where I live.  Movers are hard to come by. 
Good luck with your move!
Amor

DansSoulmate

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #24 on: May 26, 2015, 06:35:34 PM »
Wonderful advice and best of luck to everyone who is moving, considering moving or has moved.  I am in the early phase of "declutter" while simultaneously hiring/managing folks to do some updates for listing my house and it's emotionally draining, particularly  opening up boxes and sorting through all these amazing memories.  While friends celebrated this weekend with cookouts and camping I was sitting in my living room bawling when I found (and then put on - yes it fit) my letter jacket from high school (great memories, for sure).  But, like everyone on this board, I am finding that I am stronger and braver then I ever thought and am committed to getting through this to see what lies ahead.  Hugs to everyone!

Jess

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #25 on: May 28, 2015, 01:12:23 PM »
Movers are here now. I had to excuse myself once to gather myself but now am feeling better. I suspect I will have a good cry in the drive to the new place. All of everyone's kind words mean the world to me as this has been a sanity test for sure. 
On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. - Unknown

Don't be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous. - Hazrat Inayat Khan

Joe: 1979- 7/2014

Trying

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #26 on: May 28, 2015, 01:48:50 PM »
Jess, tight hugs to you!  What an emotional thing moving is. Have a good cry as you close one door and open another. I wish you peace in your new home.
You will forever be my always.

A Tout Jamais

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #27 on: May 28, 2015, 02:36:21 PM »
Movers are here now. I had to excuse myself once to gather myself but now am feeling better. I suspect I will have a good cry in the drive to the new place. 


(((Jess)))

I know, this is so difficult! It takes determination and courage, but step by step you are inching forward. And it's OK to cry! This is a significant move which takes you toward your new life.

"All changes, even the most longed for,
 have their melancholy.
 For what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves.
 We must die to one life before we can enter another."

~~ Anatole France






Wishing you Comfort, Sunshine and Happiness!


My thoughts are with you all the way!!

Welcome Home (((HUGS)))


ATJ
:)


« Last Edit: May 16, 2016, 02:02:00 PM by A Tout Jamais »
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Kamcho

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #28 on: May 29, 2015, 04:30:29 PM »
Wishing you a beautiful Ch.2 in your new abode. You deserve it.

IfIonlycould

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Re: Moving Blues
« Reply #29 on: May 30, 2015, 12:27:32 PM »

1. I will not be trying to make decisions on Joe's things. I am simply packing it and will put it in one of the spare bedrooms to go through things at my own pace.
2. For the first time, I am hiring movers. I have always done moves myself or gotten friends to help, but professionals sound like the better option this time around.

I will update more when I am settled in at the new place!



I have moved a few times since he died and this is exactly what I did.  I moved boxes of his stuff with me and when ready would "release" them as I saw fit.  I'm now in the fifth location (I buy, fix up and sell) since he died and I am down to one rubbermaid bin!    Moving is stressful enough, you do not need the added emotional stress of seeing all of his things and making decisions about them.  As far as hiring movers, I have found that by the time I rented a truck,  paid the mileage fees,  paid a couple young boys and enlisted friends it was actually cheaper to hire movers!  And done very quickly. 
Hope it is going well for you!  You really deserve your very own sanctuary.
We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.
Aristotle Onassis