Author Topic: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?  (Read 9137 times)

Carey

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it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« on: May 05, 2015, 07:42:08 AM »
Ok. Dating sites.  UGH.  I am trying to give some of these guys the benefit of the doubt. I tell myself that men are just more sexually driven and maybe that's all they know, they connect on a more physical level and talking about sex may be their idea of flirting, or whatever.  I try to remember that Chad talked a LOT about sex on the phone before we actually met in person and I went ahead and married HIM lol. But really ...what is with the guys whose profiles read like a fairy tale and then when they start talking to you it's all about the booty? This one guy said in his profile that he wants a relationship, that he doesn't like fwb's. Then when we're talking EVERYTHING is sexual innuendo. He texted me this morning, "good morning how are you?" ... I said sleepy , he said frisky. I laughed, tried to blow it off with a "lol".  Then it's "What would it take to get you that way?"  I said I honestly didn't know.  He comes back with a description of how good he is with his fingers. This after I spent an hour last night trying to convey that while I love sex and I'm no prude, with someone I have never actually met in person I tend to be a little more reserved.  He quit talking for awhile then I noticed he was online on POF so I teasingly said "You find that piece of tail yet?". He laughed, said no he gave up.  I came right out and told him, Dude you need to change your approach.  THEN it's "well I haven't even looked past you. I wanted to meet you".  SO I had that awww moment, which is the only reason I talked to him this morning.  I guess what I'm asking is, is it me and I should cut him/them some slack and quit expecting fairy tale life? Chad himself was that way so then I just wonder maybe if I give them a chance and meet in person that they'll show more of an actual personality.  Am I being overly picky?
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

maddalena

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2015, 09:09:55 AM »
i think you deserve a little adult conversation before he gets to how good his fingers are.
I mean, what about manners?
You're not ready to talk about sex yet.  You need to find out what this guy is. Sex is great for the first 6 months, but if there's no relationship there, it all falls apart.

So to answer your first question, yes.

robunknown

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2015, 10:05:26 AM »
Short Term? Yes
Long Term? Varies

It sounds like you two don't have aligning priorities for what you want. It sounds like he wants a "quickie" first and (maybe?) a relationship if that just ends up happening.

If I was looking for a good time only, I'd be pretty forward. If I was looking for a real meaningful relationship I wouldn't be this much of a jackass.

serpico

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2015, 10:50:31 AM »
Do all (single) men still only want one thing?  Sure, and all (single) women are only looking for a sugar daddy.  Generalizations are fun! ;D
'I think I got some of your pickle'

Carey

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2015, 10:57:30 AM »
Read the thread title ... I didn't say "all".  I'm not trying to generalize. Trying to decide if its ME that's the problem.
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

rifatheroffour

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2015, 11:54:36 AM »
You are not overly picky in my opinion.  I would love to have those enticing conversations again but yes a little real conversation and getting to know someone first is important to me.  I don't want just one thing I want it all...
Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us everyday.
Unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed and very dear.

look2thesky

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2015, 12:16:19 PM »
Every woman I ever talked to, on a particular dating site, were chatting snd texting with multiple men.
The ones that said they were looking for a relationship had a shopping list written and verbally a page and a half long.
It also depends on the site. 98.9 % players, both genders.
Most young people like sex, but it depends upon what you want.

No men are not all the same.
But driven by the same full moon ?
Perhaps yes.

Virgo

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2015, 12:55:42 PM »
I think a lot of men have the "might as well ask, never know" mentality. I don't mind it, but if the majority of the conversation was about sex then I would make a decision as to whether that's all I wanted out of the relationship.

I've been talking with four guys, all but one has talked about sex. Two have shared photos of their 'special purpose'. lol Sexting seems to be the norm.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

messageinabottle

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #8 on: May 05, 2015, 05:22:16 PM »
Yep :)   Well a lot of men.   

I didn't really know what a FWB was until the last few years.  I find that is what men want that I have encountered.  All the benefits of a relationship with none of the commitment.   It has proven frustrating.   

But I do know there are good guys out there just takes time to find them.   
I have said this before too online dating is like online shopping to some they cannot have enough shoes.  To some men/women they cannot have enough texting contacts or interests to boost their ego.
It is a very frustrating world to me this online dating but I do not have time to meet a man really any other way.

MissinGrizz

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #9 on: May 05, 2015, 05:56:41 PM »
It is tactless to be so descriptive before you've even met and shows a lack of respect for you.bsezy flirting is okay, but finger skills is not a get to know you conversation

klim

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #10 on: May 05, 2015, 06:27:24 PM »
okay I must say  generally I don't seem to have attracted that type of conversation when I was on a dating site.

I would not appreciate that..........fun and flirty was great. Down and dirty not so much.

 I had lots of great conversations, a number of first dates....,a few multiple date runs (that i terminated) but through all these i actually found the guys very timid.
Fun but timid.

Just my experience.
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BrokenHeart2

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #11 on: May 05, 2015, 08:20:58 PM »
Uhg is this what dating has become. I'm not at all into on line dating so I guess I'll be alone.  Eww
No problem I'm not ready for dating anyway. Maybe someday.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

look2thesky

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #12 on: May 05, 2015, 08:50:41 PM »
Yes. Like shopping for shoes analogy.
Have found this Absloutely True.
Do You think I'm beautiful ?
And let me check in with my "man friends".

O,...Kay  , do that.

nonesuch

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2015, 07:08:15 AM »
 This one guy said in his profile that he wants a relationship, that he doesn't like fwb's. Then when we're talking EVERYTHING is sexual innuendo. Small red flag waves in the distance.  He texted me this morning, "good morning how are you?" ... I said sleepy , he said frisky. I laughed, tried to blow it off with a "lol".  Then it's "What would it take to get you that way?"  Flap, flap, flap.  I said I honestly didn't know.  He comes back with a description of how good he is with his fingers. This after I spent an hour last night trying to convey that while I love sex and I'm no prude, with someone I have never actually met in person I tend to be a little more reserved. Clueless, not because he obviously likes sex, but because he's not listening to you.That red flag looks brighter than before. He quit talking for awhile then I noticed he was online on POF so I teasingly said "You find that piece of tail yet?". He laughed, said no he gave up.  I came right out and told him, Dude you need to change your approach.  THEN it's "well I haven't even looked past you. I wanted to meet you".  SO I had that awww moment, which is the only reason I talked to him this morning.  I guess what I'm asking is, is it me and I should cut him/them some slack and quit expecting fairy tale life? Chad himself was that way so then I just wonder maybe if I give them a chance and meet in person that they'll show more of an actual personality.  Am I being overly picky?

I'm a big believer in listening to one's gut.  Me, I don't like the sound of this guy, but he doesn't want to meet me, either. I think he's telling you who he is, but he's not listening to who you are. 

look2thesky

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Re: it's 2015. Do men still only want one thing?
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2015, 05:45:20 PM »
Did you message him back saying there's just a little bit more to life than talking about sex ?
Just a little ?