Author Topic: 'The Day I Left My Son in the Car'  (Read 3491 times)


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  • Widowed August 2013
Re: 'The Day I Left My Son in the Car'
« Reply #15 on: May 19, 2015, 02:28:51 PM »
Thanks for clarifying, widowat33.   

Although I would like to believe that my kids would always follow my direction and be law abiding polite young people, sadly I am learning that they make up their own mind and sometimes their own rules.   I'm learning to try and let go, and have natural consequences happen for bad choices made.  Hardest thing ever to do in this case, as my natural tendency is to go into helicopter mode!

Have I told you lately how much I love you?


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Re: 'The Day I Left My Son in the Car'
« Reply #16 on: May 19, 2015, 02:50:20 PM »

« Last Edit: May 19, 2015, 03:28:58 PM by Sugarbell »
B.W.H. 9/24/2007


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Re: 'The Day I Left My Son in the Car'
« Reply #17 on: May 20, 2015, 08:37:14 AM »
I read those articles, and I was terrified. As a parent, I make decisions every day that could be criticised by other. Others could argue, if they were really felt strongly about these things, that I am putting my daughters in danger. For instance, I let them play in the yard without close supervision. Our yard is well away from the street but it's not fully enclosed. They are 4 and 7 and they know the rules. I am sure that a whole load of people here who are generally of benevolent opinion would be fearful of my behaviour. We don't all argree, that's fine. I don't need people to agree with me, I am confident in my parenting choices. I just need people to give me benefit of doubt.

My fear is when people start involving the police, who seem to have no leeway whatsoever for use of common sense in these stories. Especially if there isn't a negative outcome. Stand by the car, rant at me, but don't criminalise my choices.

My goal is to make my daughters into independent, adventurous people who are not afraid of risk. If I am there to assess risk for them, resolve their conflicts, how can they learn? But it's not clear-cut. The parents at Eldest DD's school wanted to get the English teacher fired. I resisted getting involved because they will have to face bad teachers, bad bosses, bad colleagues throughout their lives and they have to learn to deal with this while the consequences are limited. Having said this, my daughter speaks fluent English and has great grades. My attitude would have been different if the crappy teaching resulted in unfairly bad grades. So nothing should be dogmatic. Free-range helicopter.
« Last Edit: May 20, 2015, 09:26:20 AM by ieh21 »