Author Topic: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said  (Read 31329 times)

DonnaP

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #45 on: March 26, 2015, 12:08:39 PM »
Since I am remarried, I also get comments like "you have your new husband now so you shouldn't be sad" implying that somehow remarrying fixes all the hurt/grief.

*******
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CBB

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #46 on: March 26, 2015, 02:30:58 PM »
I had to pipe in on this one. I went to go get my hair done the other day. I sold my house the year before after I was widowed and couldnt afford to keep it. But a very nice young couple had purchased it. My hairdresser introduced me to the young couples parents. They were polite enough, until the mother asked me if I had children. It took me a moment to collect myself and say yes I do but one recently died. I kid you not..the husband piped in and asked do you have other children? I said yes and without missing a beat he says well good, at least you still have two. I wanted to punch him in the throat.

Cyndi
I am different! How could I not be?

smabify

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #47 on: March 26, 2015, 02:56:05 PM »
On the day of the funeral, my uncle pipes up "if you had only tried _________  (name of experimental medical " treatment " here), he would have lived. I meant to tell you sooner, but I've been busy "

I still have trouble talking with him now, almost 3 years later.

My mom, a few months later "you knew he could die. You knew the family you married into". Thanks, mom.

Many people, after finding out DD had same genetic condition as DH died from and would need surgery " don't worry, you've seen it before."

And my absolute favorite: day of funeral, distant relative "are you going to keep the kid? Really? What about the fetus? That one too? Huh" he deserved a well placed kick in the shins.
Life's tough.  Get a helmet

sdarrah1130

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #48 on: March 26, 2015, 03:18:48 PM »
It has been 1 month today that E passed away. 

I went to the 12:00 mass and pretty much cried through the whole thing.  After mass I visited the restroom to wash my face prior to heading back to work. 

The woman in the bathroom asked if I was ok and I told her why I was crying.  She said "I lost my mother 3 years ago, I know how you feel." 

I guess it really wasn't insensitive but I really wanted to slap her. 

Sandy - E's wife.
Sandy - E's Wife

"My Darlin, you are wonderful tonight......"

MamaZ

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #49 on: March 26, 2015, 04:41:50 PM »
ADT tech said to me when I declined having them charge me again, in full, to reinstall my security system after a lightning strike that happened during our cancer battle: "Think of the children! Your dead husband would be so disgusted if he knew you put dollars before his children".

Owner of the off site storage facility where D has stashed old things like baby furniture etc, following a break-in (coincidence? ONLY D and the storage place knew which unit#. Lock was cut off the day his obit ran), "You might not be the only woman in his life, ya know. Maybe you should ask HER!". He denied that he said that when the sheriff showed up.

During this last visit by my mom, who was a god send during cancer and has been highly supportive of me after: "NO one is as busy as you pretend to be. I think you are keeping busy to avoid thinking about D". Yeah, working a very intensive R&D job while trying to raise high schoolers who do not drive is cake. I secretly am bored with nothing to do.

Sigh.

Baylee627

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #50 on: March 26, 2015, 04:58:14 PM »
On my Shit List:

1. ADT rep...may need to eat my fist for breakfast
2. Storage Unit Jackass...swift kick to his bird eggs delivered by my square toed boots.
3. Anyone else??

I couldn't believe their temerity to say such things to you. Grrrr....

Baylee
Though lovers be lost, love shall not, and death shall have no dominion--Dylan Thomas

ThalginsLuv

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #51 on: April 02, 2015, 01:02:57 PM »
I think my all time favorite was when I found out I was pregnant with a girl and I started telling people. So this person says, "Oh, thank God you are having a girl. It's too hard to raise a boy without a father."

My reply, "Oh yea because daughters never care if they have a daddy or not."

Carey

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #52 on: April 02, 2015, 01:08:11 PM »
Ugh.  Haven't they ever heard of "daddy's girl" , "mamas boy"??  regardless of the sex, children need their father.  I'm so sorry they were so insensitive. At some point, people should learn that sometimes less is more and if you are at a loss for words just don't say anything. sheesh.
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

Max2507

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #53 on: April 03, 2015, 07:27:39 PM »
I went to a funeral today. It was for a man my husband knew for years through business and after my husband died he made a point to let me know I could call him for advice or help and when I did he was really great. It was the first funeral since my husbands and in a funeral home where my sister's service was 23 years ago. Needless to say I was unnerved. I am waiting to talk to his longtime partner and the lady in front of me is talking to her and says "oh what finally got him diabetes or heart disease?" I honestly wanted to punch her in the back of the head.

Virgo

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #54 on: April 05, 2015, 12:24:10 AM »
I had to pipe in on this one. I went to go get my hair done the other day. I sold my house the year before after I was widowed and couldnt afford to keep it. But a very nice young couple had purchased it. My hairdresser introduced me to the young couples parents. They were polite enough, until the mother asked me if I had children. It took me a moment to collect myself and say yes I do but one recently died. I kid you not..the husband piped in and asked do you have other children? I said yes and without missing a beat he says well good, at least you still have two. I wanted to punch him in the throat.

Cyndi

That has to be the worst thing a person could say to a grieving parent.  I'm so sorry you were subjected to that insensitive idiot.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

Amor

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #55 on: April 05, 2015, 06:15:55 PM »
Death is better than divorce. 

Work mate:  We never wanted to work with someone who spouse died.  (Best conversation I had with that person the whole time I was working there)

Work mate normally just looked at me then left not even saying hi or bye. 

Always a favorite:  You should be over it.  Over it, are you joking, how do you get over death but with death itself?  Remember this was and still is the love of my LIFE!


Baylee627

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #56 on: April 05, 2015, 07:36:54 PM »
My brother--Bubby--called to see how my Easter went down today with my in-laws.

I said: It was painful, tearful.

Bubby: (audible and disgusted exhale), oh my gawd, seriously? At some point the tide should turn and days like today should be fun. When are you going to move on?

I fiercely lurve my Bubby, but the guy just only recently refrained from drunk dialing his widowed sister on the regular, and still has a proclivity for ordering up his next decade younger, one-night stand on an iPhone app.

But *I'm* the one with an attachment issue. Mmm-kay....

Baylee




Though lovers be lost, love shall not, and death shall have no dominion--Dylan Thomas

serpico

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #57 on: April 05, 2015, 08:32:28 PM »
^^^ You wouldn't, uh, happen to have the name of that app, would ya? It's for a friend...  :o
'I think I got some of your pickle'

Questions

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #58 on: April 13, 2015, 11:10:27 PM »
I'll never forget the day my husband was diagnosed as terminal (a week after we were told his cancer was 100% curable) The nurse shouted "Have a nice day!" to us as we were leaving the hospital.

So I was wheeling DH to the car, tears streaming down my face & this lady walking in the other direction says "What's wrong?" I said: We got some bad news.. & she says "Oh, well.. the sun is out!"

wtf??


BrokenHeart2

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Re: Some Of The Most Insensitive Things That People Have Said
« Reply #59 on: April 14, 2015, 07:41:13 PM »
2 weeks after DH died my youngest brother called and I told him I was having a hard time. He told me ' well, it's time to just get on with it'. Yup really what an ahole. I told him it's going to take a bit longer. Major DGI and so are the rest of my siblings and many 'used to be' friends.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.