Author Topic: The only video I have of my husband...  (Read 1309 times)

MissingSquish

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  • widowed 5/20/12
The only video I have of my husband...
« on: May 25, 2015, 07:17:45 PM »
Is one of him nodding out. I had shown him the video during a rare time that he was sober, and he was really upset at me for even taking it.

We didn't have a wedding videographer. I didn't think to take videos of him during our happier times (though I didn't have a video camera on my phone until after we were married).  We were only married for a little longer than 6 months when he died, and his addiction spiraled out of control in those few short months. There weren't a whole lot of happy times while we were married.

I watched the video for the first time in a long time tonight. It wasn't seeing him on film nodding out that made me sad. It was our dog, pru, in the background putting her head on the side of the couch that got me. It is something that she still does, especially when I'm upset.  She's had a really rough life in a lot of ways, and I feel guilty that I have been leaning on her so much. She's seen so much trauma and sorrow in her life.

It is truly horrifying how much addiction impacts everyone around the addict. I am trying to live life now by taking videos of pru being cute and pictures of the happy times that I have had since he's been gone.
Gone but not forgotten.....my Squish.

Miss you forever baby girl, my Pru!

anniegirl

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Re: The only video I have of my husband...
« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2015, 10:26:16 PM »
Addiction is indeed very hard on people around the afflicted. It takes a long time to put it behind you.

My father was an alcoholic. My brother has struggled on and off since he was a teenager with drugs and alcohol (though he is currently in recovery mode and doing well). I spent a good bit of my young adulthood coming to terms with the impact both of them made on my young self.

It's good that you can focus on those things that make you happy. It's not easy to do after trauma and loss but it's good that you are.

This is not the droid you are looking for.

Carey

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  • Widowed 11/23/13 Joined YWBB 12/2/13
Re: The only video I have of my husband...
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2015, 08:01:10 AM »
I have the same situation. The only video I have of Chad, he is dancing and singing to a stupid Target commercial, and he was six sheets to the wind. It was funny and cute, but I HATE that the ONLY moving talking image I have of him , he's shitfaced :-(
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

MissingSquish

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  • Posts: 404
  • widowed 5/20/12
Re: The only video I have of my husband...
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2015, 11:24:08 AM »
Hugs to you guys. I'm sorry you had to deal with addiction as well.
Gone but not forgotten.....my Squish.

Miss you forever baby girl, my Pru!