Author Topic: 12 years  (Read 4092 times)


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12 years
« on: June 03, 2015, 07:16:30 AM »
Well another sadiversary is here. As always, it is hard to believe that it has been twelve year since Jim?s passing. In some ways it seems like forever since the last time I saw him, even if the last ten months of our lives together were filled with doctor appointments and many trips in and out of hospitals. At other times it seems like only yesterday that we were talking and hoping that he would be able to get a transplant and we could return to a more normal, happy life. Unfortunately that was not meant to be.

With that said, out of necessity, I have adjusted to a new ?normal? quite a while ago.  I haven?t found another person to share my life with and at times it can still be lonely without a partner, but life can still be good in many ways. It isn?t always easy by any means, but it is ok most of the time.

I think it is key to figure out who I am and how to live life alone and still be happy. I?m still working on that, but I have survived many years now not recoupled and, believe it or not, I?m still hopeful that there will be a chance that I will still find someone to share my life with. And if that doesn?t happen, well, I will deal with that too. I am not normally an optimistic person but leaving myself open to new possibilities is key. Hope has to be part of my vocabulary, although my pessimism does still creep in from time to time. There, of course, are still challenges to living life alone, but living in the past without trying to move forward, to me, would not be respectful to Jim and my life together. Of course that is just how I think about things that have happened and how I have chosen to deal with my life.

As in years past on the sadiversary, I came here to post.  I promised myself, since the beginning, that Jim would not be forgotten. (not that I could ever forget)  As time go by, there are less people in my life that talk about him anymore to keep the memories alive. I know that this board is one place that I can still come to where people will understand my need to do this. And hopefully acknowledge this post and Jim?s life.  So?.

Jim, you will always hold a special place in my heart and mind. I will always love you and remember our life together. I miss you.

Remembering with love, YHB,


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2015, 07:29:01 AM »
Hugs to you today.  Missing them never goes away.
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2015, 08:06:29 AM »

Thank you for your many contributions to both YWBB and this site during your many years as a member. At this 12 year point, I wish for you continued optimism and hope.

--- WifeLess


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2015, 10:35:17 AM »
Hugs to you today, Ginger.
This is a long journey, and sometimes we can count our blessings along the way.
You left and forgot to tell my heart how to live without you.


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2015, 11:05:56 AM »
Thank you for coming on to post. sending you all the best as you honor and remember Jim.
"All the waves must reach the shore before the water calms"-Ray ♡


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2015, 11:15:18 AM »
Ginger, thank you for posting thoughts about your Jim.  Even at only 2.5 years I understand what you mean about others not talking much about our spouses.  At least we have this outlet.
Hope today is gentle on you, Rudi
Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us everyday.
Unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed and very dear.


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #6 on: June 03, 2015, 12:51:43 PM »
Your post is Beautiful.
I also 5 years out remain single, and have found personal peace with living alone.
I tried at a few relationships but it was never the same.
The happiness I shared with my Wife was beyond description, and I never tried to compare anyone else to Her.
She was a showstopper. A legacy complete. And I'm good with that.
The words you write about your husband.


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2015, 03:58:18 PM »
Hugs to you, Ginger...and hopefully hugs IRL soon. I'm glad you still remember him.  I want to be remembering my guys at 12 years out, too. 

Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #8 on: June 04, 2015, 07:35:13 AM »
Ginger-I know every year you came to "remember him" as I remember from YWBB.  At almost seven years out I understand it about people not sharing about him much anymore. Would love to "hear" some stories of your and Jim's life together if you care to share.  Twelve years....
We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.
Aristotle Onassis


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2015, 10:55:40 PM »
Your tribute to your husband was beautiful. Hugs to you Ginger.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #10 on: June 05, 2015, 06:55:38 PM »
Thank you Ginger.  ((Ginger))


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #11 on: June 05, 2015, 07:57:17 PM »
Very touching post, Ginger. I can relate in so many ways. At 3-1/2 years out, it seems like R was never here. Yet I remember and miss R terribly. I have not dated. I have two small kids and a lot on my plate. I have come to terms that I may be alone the rest of my life and I feel OK with it. My life with R and love for him was truly rich. It seems irreplaceable. Here is to you, Jim and your love for each other.
My life is better because you were in it. You encouraged me to stretch my wings. I will forever be grateful. Rest in Peace Babe. Till we meet again.


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #12 on: June 10, 2015, 01:57:50 PM »
I just wanted to thank all of you that responded to my post and for the virtual hugs that are always welcome. Some of you I've gotten to know personally along this journey and some I haven't had the pleasure to meet in person. It is always nice to know that people still care and that I can still come here to mark Jim's passing and to acknowledge the life we shared together and that it will never be forgotten.

My thanks and gratitude and hugs back to all of you.


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #13 on: June 10, 2015, 03:19:30 PM »
thank you so much for this. I am at 4.5 years and I struggle immensely with the idea of never finding someone to share my life with. So to hear you speak realistically yet serenely about 12 years on it very touching and helpful.


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Re: 12 years
« Reply #14 on: June 10, 2015, 03:55:58 PM »
Ginger, you're post gives me hope to my future.  It's 2 years for me and I wonder how I'll be different in 12 years.  I also haven't "recoupled."  I'm thinking that I was lucky once to have the man of my dreams.     I'm hoping in 12 years I can be hopeful and have a joyful life. 

Thinking of you and your Jim today.  Wishing you many more years of being satisfied, joyful, and hopeful for your future.