Author Topic: a change in the nature of my grief  (Read 764 times)

maddalena

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a change in the nature of my grief
« on: June 09, 2015, 01:38:08 PM »
3 years ago today, my husband knew he was dying (he died in July 2012) and he bought me a new car.. It was something that made him happy, as being sick with cancer took away a lot of his pleasures.

I feel sad today, but my sadness has changed. I used to feel bad because i lost him.  Now i feel bad because he lost his life. He lost all of the pleasures that we are still enjoying. Somewhere along the way, it became less about me and more about him.

Yet, I know he still loves me, wherever he is, and i certainly still love him.

Pretty strange.

Mizpah

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Re: a change in the nature of my grief
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2015, 01:40:01 PM »
I used to feel bad because i lost him.  Now i feel bad because he lost his life.

Yes.
widowed 2011 (DH 28)

IfIonlycould

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Re: a change in the nature of my grief
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2015, 01:40:31 PM »
Very well put...


I feel sad today, but my sadness has changed. I used to feel bad because i lost him.  Now i feel bad because he lost his life. He lost all of the pleasures that we are still enjoying. Somewhere along the way, it became less about me and more about him.

Yet, I know he still loves me, wherever he is, and i certainly still love him.

Pretty strange.
We must free ourselves of the hope that the sea will ever rest. We must learn to sail in high winds.
Aristotle Onassis

patriciad

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Re: a change in the nature of my grief
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2015, 04:06:55 PM »
Totally agree.  It can be something as little as a sports game on tv or as big as a college graduation.  They lost out on so much.

Pat