Author Topic: Frustrated......  (Read 4736 times)

donswife

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Re: Frustrated......
« Reply #15 on: March 24, 2015, 06:21:00 PM »
HI sandy
I am so sorry for you losing your husband. I remember the first couple of months after my don died.
I didn't really cry much. I was definitely in shock mode.
I also felt that he really wasn't gone and I could feel and see him everywhere. Like he was helping through this awful process.
I think you lost your husband suddenly(as did I ) so its so hard to really believe they are gone. I am still holding on with both hands the denial part and its been almost 5 months for me.
Take care and don't doubt what you are feeling or question why you are feeling it
My everything

sdarrah1130

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Re: Frustrated......
« Reply #16 on: March 24, 2015, 08:54:46 PM »
So, it has now been 26 days.  All of the "paperwork" and technical things  are done.

The last few days have been the toughest so far and I know I have a long way to go.  My heart is still waiting for him to walk in the door but my brain knows that is not going to happen.

My emotions have been overwhelming at times.   I thank the dear lord that I have the support system I do because I don't think I could it without them.

Thanks for listening and all of the advice

Sincerely,
Sandy - E's wife
Sandy - E's Wife

"My Darlin, you are wonderful tonight......"

Jen

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Re: Frustrated......
« Reply #17 on: March 25, 2015, 05:29:46 AM »
((((Hugs))))  I wish I could give you a magic fix, but there's just not one. One day at a time-- one hour, sometimes one breath. Hold on.
I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other. ~Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

"Dying is easy. Living is hard. ~George Washington, Hamilton

Dahlia

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  • And I am rich in all I have lost. S. Sassoon
Re: Frustrated......
« Reply #18 on: March 25, 2015, 04:58:06 PM »
I'm in that place, too. The last stanza of this poem encapsulates the sense I have right now:

After great pain, a formal feeling comes ? (372)
BY EMILY DICKINSON
After great pain, a formal feeling comes ?
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs ?
The stiff Heart questions ?was it He, that bore,?
And ?Yesterday, or Centuries before??

The Feet, mechanical, go round ?
A Wooden way
Of Ground, or Air, or Ought ?
Regardless grown,
A Quartz contentment, like a stone ?

This is the Hour of Lead ?
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow ?
First ? Chill ? then Stupor ? then the letting go ?

I expect everything will work itself out, the shock will pass, and I'll burst into loud, anguished sobs in the checkout line of Target one day.

Dahlia

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  • And I am rich in all I have lost. S. Sassoon
Re: Frustrated......
« Reply #19 on: March 25, 2015, 05:09:54 PM »
 This is how I feel when I reply twice: >:(
« Last Edit: March 25, 2015, 05:14:31 PM by Dahlia »

Jess

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Re: Frustrated......
« Reply #20 on: March 25, 2015, 06:31:31 PM »
I'll burst into loud, anguished sobs in the checkout line of Target one day.

Replace Target with the grocery store, and yep, been there done that one.
On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. - Unknown

Don't be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous. - Hazrat Inayat Khan

Joe: 1979- 7/2014

mixelated

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Re: Frustrated......
« Reply #21 on: March 26, 2015, 02:15:49 AM »
Quoted this stanza elsewhere a few weeks ago myself. It fit that leaden, motionless mood perfectly. I have never been a fan of Dickinson, but now - well - I guess she knew what she was writing about. Another of those realizations that you don't really understand this level of loss until you've experienced it.


This is the Hour of Lead ?
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow ?
First ? Chill ? then Stupor ? then the letting go ?


pammierae7363

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Re: Frustrated......
« Reply #22 on: March 28, 2015, 06:38:59 PM »
Hi, Sandy

I am sorry for your loss and sorry that you had to join us but I'm glad you are here.  I'm 14 months into this journey and this board has been a big comfort to me. 

It may sound silly that everyone keeps mentioning it but it really is important . . . make sure you eat (even if it's a TV dinner or fast food) and make sure you drink a lot of water.  I thought it was silly but dehydration is a serious thing. 

Make sure to take care of yourself, be gentle on yourself, and remember you aren't alone, 
Love you forever and forever. Love you with all my heart. Will I wait a lonely lifetime? If you want me to, I will.