Young Widow Forum
Encouragement => Books, Quotes, Poems, and Songs => Topic started by: MrsT85 on March 10, 2015, 12:53:11 PM
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This thread that Mac started over the weekend was really very good! I'm going to go ahead and copy all 10 entries from the proboard site (the "old new board ;) ) so we can pick the discussion up right where we left off.
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Post by mac on Mar 7, 2015 at 12:34am
When I was starting out on this journey, I use to listen to this. Hold on for one more day. Just get through this day and wake up to a new one tomorrow.
Wilson Phillips - Hold On
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=uIbXvaE39wM
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Post by Bear (aka Barney) on Mar 7, 2015 at 12:53am
It was Emmylou and a six pack of PBR for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=lTry1yKvxZM
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Post by Gabzmom on Mar 7, 2015 at 1:18am
I listened to this on and on and on. I watched the movie, "Hope Floats," over and over again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zbJ_XltgyTk
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Post by LisaPop on Mar 7, 2015 at 1:42am
this was my Widow Anthem
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Jow7c0EVXeM
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Post by LisaPop on Mar 7, 2015 at 2:01am
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=u1z4vkPWkLQ
then, now, always
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Post by mrstim85 on Mar 7, 2015 at 8:00am
A couple of months before Tim's accident, I had made a 2012 year end wrap up compilation that I was actually quite proud of. It was a yearly tradition of ours For the immediate couple of months after his death, most music was far too painful for me to listen to. But that one 2012 year end wrap up of mine (along with another couple comps from around the same time) was one of the few that I could manage. And more than that, some of the songs gained entirely new and deeply powerful and cathartic meanings in the wake of my loss. Like I had been a bit prophetic in my selections only a handful of months prior and chose some songs that would be invaluable companions in those first horrible days.
Here's the two best examples. I started the whole damn thing with this this song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ii6kJaGiRaI
Then there was this song. Good lord, did it sound like they had written that song from the bottom of my soul.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=RO9K8dz6xOw
Great idea for a thread. Thanks for starting it, I'm really looking forward to seeing what others will be sharing.
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Post by CBB on Mar 7, 2015 at 11:30am
This was one I listened and played a lot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=7Xf-Lesrkuc
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Post by CBB on Mar 7, 2015 at 11:41am
This was another one too. Get the Kleenex..Damn!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=cQ0kh3k0LKE
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Post by mac on Mar 7, 2015 at 12:11pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=cmSbXsFE3l8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nFtfk0bZVRM
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Post by swilson on Mar 8, 2015 at 1:17pm
Grief expression from long ago (warning contains Blue Grass)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wXtjE9KaMYI
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Post by Gabzmom on Mar 8, 2015 at 11:33pm
Love the cup song, especially Gaelic! My DD used to sing that all the time.
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Alright guys, that's all for the old stuff :) Now post away
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I miss the option of being able to embed videos. These threads just aren't the same without being able to get to the music right there on the page. If anyone knows if/how we can embed the songs right into the posts, I'd love to know!
Anyway, I wanted to share another song I listened to a lot early on. Like many songs that I turn to, I'm pretty sure it's about a breakup rather than a death, but it's amazing how every song about someone "leaving" turns into a song about him in my head.
Initially, the lines that hit me the hardest were these:
"The little things that made me nervous,
Are gone, in a moment.
I miss the way we used to argue"
I used to worry about so many things that were (in retrospect) so petty and so silly. And then he was gone, and all of those things ceased to matter. And I miss him so much, I even miss getting into fights with him. You know you loved someone when you even miss getting into shouting matches with them...
And then the way it ends. Repeating "And it keeps coming, And it keeps coming, And it keeps coming, Till the day it stops" followed by "When someone great is gone." It seemed almost like a mantra in the beginning. Life just kept happening and will continue to do so until my time is over too...
Here's the song and the lyrics:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOHLeXxfNu0
I wish that we could talk about it,
But there, that's the problem.
With someone new I could have started,
Too late, for beginnings.
The little things that made me harassed,
Are gone, in a moment.
I miss the way we used to argue,
Locked, in your basement.
I wake up and the phone is ringing,
Surprised, as it's early.
And that should be the perfect warning,
That something's, a problem.
To tell the truth I saw it coming,
The way, you were breathing.
But nothing can prepare you for it,
The voice, on the other, end.
The worst is all the lovely weather,
I'm sad, it's not raining.
The coffee isn't even bitter,
Because, what's the difference?
There's all the work that needs to be done,
It's late, for revision.
There's all the time and all the planning,
And songs, to be finished.
And it keeps coming,
And it keeps coming,
And it keeps coming,
Till the day it stops
(Repeat x3)
And it keeps coming,
(Repeat x7)
Till the day it stops.
I wish that we could talk about it,
But there, that's the problem.
With someone new I could have started,
Too late, for beginnings.
You're smaller than my wife imagined,
Surprised, you were human.
There shouldn't be this ring of silence,
But what, are the options?
When someone great is gone.
(Repeat x8)
We're safe, for the moment.
Saved,
For the moment
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Anything by Iron and Wine and Phosphorescent. But here is my anthem of anger:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcdOLKx2XG8
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One I listened to on repeat:
https://youtu.be/kuq7RYQ8Wa0
Another one that was on repeat the day after he died:
https://youtu.be/myO_gg2he7Y
Another:
https://youtu.be/qi-KCd0guJI
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Thanks for copying these, MrsTim85.
During the last couple of years, music gave me the permission I needed to allow myself to be sad - I fought the grief because I had work to do and a kid to take care of.
SWilson linked Kathy Mattea - I love bluegrass (well, I love just about every genre of music) and used to listen to these:
https://youtu.be/3bzeQWZINhA
https://youtu.be/1SCOimBo5tg
And then just about everything by Eva Cassidy, especially: "Fields of Gold; You Take My Breath Away; Danny Boy; Autumn Leaves; and I Know You By Heart."
https://youtu.be/xXBNlApwh0c?list=PLONLmE9k7n1P1aTq40uNB7e_bx06zxLKO
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And Boz Skaggs - Harbor Lights - this song reminds me of a midnight sail in Tampa Bay with the dolphins chasing the sailboat. We were newly married then. I can feel the breeze, warm and cool, all at the same time.
https://youtu.be/yI_TnP-ccK8
This one - I wrote about it in my private blog about 5 months out. I think it signified my trying to push the grief away - to tell myself to stop thinking about my love?"Heart of Mine."
https://youtu.be/UcGRxHKlEz0