Young Widow Forum

Young Widow Forum => General Discussion => Topic started by: JeanGenie on September 11, 2015, 06:07:36 AM

Title: 9-11 Triggering Emotions
Post by: JeanGenie on September 11, 2015, 06:07:36 AM
Is it just me, but this morning as the news is covering the 14th anniv of 9-11, I'm just feeling ill.   It's just stirring up all kinds of emotions...  The loss of DH, how precious life is, and how alone I feel.

I did not lose anyone personally on 9-11, but as the news talks about memorial services, etc., all I can think about is the loss of DH and all those feelings and grief come to the surface.

As I'm sure is true with most of you, I still so clearly remember that day and I remember wanting to get home from work and be with my DH and son and being thankful that we were together and safe.  And if this happened today, I would have no one...  No one to come home to.  No one to make me feel safe.  And that makes the tears flow even more.

And then I've got conflicted feelings because social media is reminding us all (not that we don't already know this) to tell those in our lives how important they are to us, but there are people in my life right now where I can't be 100% honest about my feelings for them.  There's too much risk involved and as much as I tell my head it's the right thing to do, my heart feels differently and so that hurts this morning as well.

It's the combination of all these things that have bubbled up this morning and I did not expect it.  I'm just a mess and so needed to come here and get it out and share with those who might understand.  Yes, I know grief still comes at unexpected times, but I never thought all this talk and media coverage about 9-11 would trigger it.

Is it just me?

Title: Re: 9-11 Triggering Emotions
Post by: sunshinedaydreamz on September 11, 2015, 06:09:17 AM
Very strange day. Not just you.
Title: Re: 9-11 Triggering Emotions
Post by: hachi on September 11, 2015, 07:25:26 AM
It is definitely a trigger. I was too numb the first year to really feel anything, but I remember very clearly the second year feeling overwhelmed by thinking of all of the widows and widowers created on that one day.

I am thankful that I did have the chance to say good-bye...
Title: Re: 9-11 Triggering Emotions
Post by: SoVerySad on September 11, 2015, 08:18:05 AM
Much like Hachi stated, it is horrifying to think about all the widows/widowers resulting from that day. I always felt great empathy for the families who lost loved ones that day, but since gaining the firsthand experience of losing T, it is even more overwhelming to think about. They are definitely in my thoughts today.

JeanGenie, I can also relate to what you said about how being with your husband was such a comfort. We were on vacation in Myrtle Beach that day, watching the horror unfold on TV. I remember after the plane hit the Pentagon as well, I turned to T and told him I was scared. He wrapped me in his arms and I felt safe. It hurts to realize my safe haven is gone.

Hugs to all of you hurting from these triggers today...
Title: Re: 9-11 Triggering Emotions
Post by: Virgo on September 11, 2015, 06:44:31 PM
It's definitely a trigger for me too. Especially the footage of memorials for fallen officers. It just takes me back to the formalities of my husband's police service and funeral. I'll never forget where I was, what I was doing, or who I was with that day. Very sad day for our nation.
Title: Re: 9-11 Triggering Emotions
Post by: Guaruj on September 11, 2015, 07:20:28 PM
JeanGenie, I haven't yet watched the evening news, so thank you for this advance warning.

Is it just me, but this morning as the news is covering the 14th anniv of 9-11, I'm just feeling ill.   It's just stirring up all kinds of emotions...

9/11 already got to me one month early.

I visited NYC in early August, and I happened to be staying downtown at a hotel adjacent to the 9/11 memorial. I had never been in that part of the city before. So I took a stroll past the reflecting pools, which are two giant holes in the ground where the twin towers once stood. The railings surrounding each pool bear the names of the thousands who were killed there that day.

What upset me was the occasional bouquet of flowers placed next to some of those names. They were presumably left there to commemorate birthdays, anniversaries or other special dates. That made me want to cry in middle of that crowded public place, because I buy a lot of flowers for the same reasons. I was so glad that all those tourists had the collective sense to leave those flowers alone.

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Title: Re: 9-11 Triggering Emotions
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on September 11, 2015, 09:10:23 PM
Oh I remeber this day only to well. It was the day DH and I moved into our newly built house on the lake. Yup it was so weird for all of us. 14 yrs ago today. Our dream home and this happened on moving day. Our hearts were broken and excited at the same time. Kinda crazy like widowhood. Only nothing exciting about widowhood, more like the emotional turmoil we all go through.
Title: Re: 9-11 Triggering Emotions
Post by: Callobg on September 11, 2015, 11:12:38 PM
You're not alone, I had to leave the gym early because of the sadness I started feeling towards my beautiful WIFE and the 2,977 victims of 11 Sep 15. May they all rest in peace. Let us wids say a prayer for them and their families.

Title: Re: 9-11 Triggering Emotions
Post by: Lost35 on September 12, 2015, 12:23:44 AM
It has me thinking of two things; the fact that YWBB was started by some of those widows and that to this day, I live and benefit from their creation and it's offspring... and I will be forever grateful in a way not so many people would comprehend.

Also,  I keep thinking about a post on Facebook today, about how it's been fourteen years and should we really stop thinking about 9/11 in terms of loss and instead start thinking of it in terms of the strengths we have been given as a result?  I have been thinking, why rush things?  The loss is still as hard for those who suffered it today as fourteen years ago.  It's only been fourteen years.  Let those who suffered personal losses be the ones to decide when to stop feeling what they feel...but that's just me, feeling offended at the rush to "just get over it, already!" 

Title: Re: 9-11 Triggering Emotions
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on September 12, 2015, 02:32:14 AM
I agree Lost35, give them time to grieve but at the same time, isn't that sadly the NA way. NA just doesn't get nor want to get grief. They (we) want to rush to have it end.
Title: Re: 9-11 Triggering Emotions
Post by: Gabzmom on September 12, 2015, 08:29:33 AM
9/11 has always triggered strong emotions for me even before the death of dh.  However, this time it feels a bit softer.  I think, perhaps it's because I had gone to the 9/11 memorial earlier this year and that visit was so scathingly raw for me. 
Title: Re: 9-11 Triggering Emotions
Post by: ieh21 on September 13, 2015, 11:38:53 PM
Joe and I lived in different cities and had only been dating for a few months. It's the horror of 9/11 that made me realise how much he meant to me. How much living apart sucked and we both freaked out at the idea that if something like this happened in either of our cities, we'd not be able to reach the other. It cemented us together.

So yes. For all sorts of reasons including the ones listed here, it is a trigger.