Young Widow Forum

Young Widow Forum => General Discussion => Topic started by: markb74 on September 23, 2015, 02:57:12 PM

Title: ...advice...
Post by: markb74 on September 23, 2015, 02:57:12 PM
Does everyone enjoy getting advice like I do?
I have people with no money telling me what I should and should not be doing...
I have people telling me how to be a solo parent when their kid has "parentS"...

I really like how family thinks they get the right to tell me what I can do, and what I can't do and what I should not do.
I wanted to buy myself a used truck... because well I don't have a truck and sometimes need one to transport stuff. my sister flips out and says why do you need 3 cars and a truck. I tell her because I can... then she tells me how tight she is for $ and I need to be carefull.. but yet im expected to buy a used cheap car for my niece for college (or give her one of my 3 (one was the wife's) because they have no money... 2 months later her husband gets a brand new 2015 truck... I said why on earth did you buy a 35k truck if you have no money, buy a used 5k truck? roll eyes... then last weekend she joking said I should buy her boob implants for her 40th birthday next year. I said how about I buy you a dick implant and you go fuck yourself. I just don't fucking get it. I have a good job, and I have a p/t time job too where I work from home at night. I bust my ass to get what I want.

and today the vice principal of the school called me, my son was in line on the way to the library and hit another kid in the head with a book. unacceptable. had a quick talk with him, got some talking to happen at home tonight. I texted my sister what he did, and she responded: its none of my business but you need to get firm and stay consistent on punishments... so I responded back, youre right, its none of your business...

two cents from people who can't relate to being a single parent working 1.5 jobs.

ive just reached my limit of being nice , socially/family and at work. everyone that's said call us if you need help I don't hear from, then when I do ask for people to help go through the toy room, or help me go through clothes to donate, my mother is the only person who has busted her ass to help me. my sister did at first but her husband was all pissy because she wasn't there to tend to his wishes....

so fucking pissed right now.

-end rant.
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: CJF on September 23, 2015, 03:14:12 PM
Yes, this happened to me too and I learned really fast not to tell anyone anything!  I am very careful now what I tell family and certain friends - if I don't tell them I don't have to listen to their advice.  Vent here - at least you will get advice from people who really do understand!
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: serpico on September 23, 2015, 03:17:04 PM
I said how about I buy you a dick implant and you go fuck yourself.

Literally lol'd on that one  :o
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: markb74 on September 23, 2015, 03:28:44 PM
yeah, I am slowly learning to just keep my mouth shut.
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: Justin on September 23, 2015, 03:38:25 PM
Yes, this happened to me too and I learned really fast not to tell anyone anything!  I am very careful now what I tell family and certain friends - if I don't tell them I don't have to listen to their advice.  Vent here - at least you will get advice from people who really do understand!

This is great advice - I was this way even before DW died. The only people that I tell things are those whose opinion I value, AND who won't go gossiping (I love my mom, but she can keep no secrets)
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: MrsDan on September 23, 2015, 04:12:35 PM
I said how about I buy you a dick implant and you go fuck yourself.

Literally lol'd on that one  :o


Me too, and maaaaan I needed one today .
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: Callobg on September 23, 2015, 05:11:42 PM
Mark, hang in there brother, we all get you. Like Justin said, I also only ask for advice from the people whom I value their opinions. Stay strong, take care of yourself and your  family.

Love,
Boris
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: jlp on September 24, 2015, 03:58:45 PM
I'm going to have to remember that "dick implant" line -- that is hilarious!

While I can't relate to getting parenting advice, I can say I do receive a lot of other unsolicited advice.  Apparently, my IQ dropped 40 points when my husband died and I don't know anything anymore.   :P
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on September 25, 2015, 09:01:19 AM
At 28 months out oh how I remember people giving unsolicited advice and I said 'I lost my DH not my brain'. I took care of myself very well before I met him (at 32yrs old) and I will do so after when I finally find out just who the f_ck I am now that he is gone. Yes, I too am very selective of who I talk to about stuff to get advice or about my grief. So few get it.
Love the dick implant line!
Hugs
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: DebW on September 26, 2015, 04:51:00 AM
Some random on another message board sent me a PM and told me that it'll take me 1-3 years per 5 years of marriage to 'get over it'. I was like WTF? Have not even answered for fear of saying something rude.
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: Jen on September 26, 2015, 08:22:19 PM
Oh, yeah. Since becoming a wid, I've found out that that old chestnut is true: Opinions are like @$$holes, everyone has one... @@
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: newnormal14 on September 27, 2015, 03:19:44 PM
Yup...I too am very selective on what I say.  Hang in there, and do whatever YOU want:)
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: markb74 on September 30, 2015, 11:48:25 AM
thanks :)

I just need to stay focused on the positives, keep myself happy and just take my own advice that I give to people... take everything with a grain of salt... something ive been forgetting to do lately.
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: lcoxwell on September 30, 2015, 05:26:56 PM
I have no helpful comment to add, here, but I now have a new appreciation for the fact that I live thousands of miles away from anyone who would care to give advice in my family/circle of friends. AND, I have now cut off ties with Kenneth's family, who are a few hours away, so I don't have to worry about advice from anywhere.  ;D
Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: twistedmensa on October 01, 2015, 02:15:50 AM
Unsolicited advice...always a favorite in my book. Lately, I have been going from zero to Queen Bitch in about a nanosecond as soon as a "well meaning" individual opens their mouth about how I "should" be doing things. Well, I suppose I should be doing a lot of things, but I don't really give a flying fuck about much of anything right now. Nor do I care if I piss people off...they certainly don't seem to care if they piss me off.

That said, I probably do need to tone it down just a bit...if for no other reason, Christmas is just around the corner and I don't want to get coal from Santa.

Title: Re: ...advice...
Post by: MamaZ on October 04, 2015, 02:09:03 PM
Oh yes, the ever popular unsolicited advice... Widowhood brings it on as much (or more) than pregnancy or new parenthood did! I swear, folks advise me on things they never would dare suggest to anyone who still has their spouse.

Regrading reigning things in... While I can see feeling the need in public with actual people, I hope you continue to share your gift for prose here with us. Much as you might not aspire to a career in stand up comedy, these were indeed priceless:

 "...how about I buy you a dick implant and you go fuck yourself?"
 "you're right, its none of your business..."

(: