Young Widow Forum

Time Frame => Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months) => Topic started by: Tweety76 on March 13, 2015, 12:24:41 AM

Title: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: Tweety76 on March 13, 2015, 12:24:41 AM
Who knew (yeah, the veterans...) I'd get this far... 2 more days and a full year has passed since my husband died. I remember how I was anxious to be part of the "Shock wears off" part instead of the newbies... At 3 months shock wore off but little did I know what that meant. I never thought I'd make it to 6 months and here I am at the full year mark (2 days short).

Tomorrow will mark the last day ever I spoke with him. I was on sick-leave (heavy flu and ear infection) and he was going to attend a company event starting at 10am so neither of us was in a hurry that morning. We woke up before the alarm went off so we stayed in bed. Got up eventually and I went for a smoke and he was getting ready to go. The morning was slow paced and easy going and we joked a lot. I went for another smoke and little did I know he was really getting ready to go for he was anxious to get to the event and have breakfast there (he loved food). I got back in doors and there he was at the door all dressed up and waiting for me to kiss him and say goodbye (he was going to a company ski trip for the weekend too). Hat on his head, bag of gears right at his feet, just waiting for me. I always told him to come back alive where ever he went. This time he just didn't listen! He walked out the door and I went back to the balcony just to see him catching the bus and that was the last time ever I saw him alive. We did still exchange few texts that morning and that was it. Next thing I heard was his brother calling me and telling the news and me falling on the floor screaming. Holy hell! That's almost a year ago!!!!

So Sunday all the firsts are done and out and here I am. I love and miss that man everyday! I'm standing and gradually starting to look to the future (Thanks Grace and gallivanting ;) ) Life happens and then you live and now I go cry my eyes out even I'm good. Trust me I am!
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: Virgo on March 13, 2015, 12:34:26 AM
((hugs)) I felt like the one year mark wouldn't be any different then any other day I had experienced the past year. That was the case for me. I miss him every day.
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: Gabzmom on March 13, 2015, 12:41:17 AM
Hugs - I can't say anymore than that.  I remember too well how mind-numbing the first year was for me. 
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: HvnBound on March 13, 2015, 01:39:15 AM
(((Tweety76))). I will be thinking of you on Sunday. I enjoyed our chat tonight!!!!
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: sphoc on March 13, 2015, 06:44:55 AM
*BIG HUGS*
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: Jen on March 13, 2015, 09:24:50 AM
I'm pathetically short on words these days, but I have lots of (((hugs))).
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: Carey on March 13, 2015, 09:51:27 AM
I don't know why I thought passing a year would magically make everything easier or better. I am so glad for you that you can look to the future there.  Hugs for you for this weekend though ... your mind will probably be in the past for most of it.
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: aicha on March 13, 2015, 10:16:32 AM
Hugs Tweety! For you it's the end of this section, for me today is the day of joining this section. 6 months has passed since I last kissed him. I have to admit that without this board and specialy you Tweety I don't know if I would make it. Thanks to Grace and her idea of gallivanting in Amsterdam we both have something to look forward to. Whenever I feel down I just picture us cycling through Amsterdam. It helps. A little.

Miss him too much today...
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: Tweety76 on March 13, 2015, 11:45:28 AM
Hugs to you all!!!! I'm getting teary just reading your comments! @Aicha: 6 months was a massive landmark for me. Huge hugs!!!!!!!! July can't come soon enough!!!

@Just Jen: You have no idea what hits you when I hug you :) Finns are reserved but we hug well :)

All of you!!! just THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: Jen on March 13, 2015, 09:17:57 PM

@Just Jen: You have no idea what hits you when I hug you :) Finns are reserved but we hug well :)

Aww, Tweety... can I just tell you that this totally made my day? I needed that badly. Thank you. And hey-- it won't be too long and I can hug you back in person!!
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: Tweety76 on March 14, 2015, 01:04:58 AM
aaa sheesh!!!!! It's about right now that I heard his voice for the last time a year ago. Last hug, last kiss, last goodbye. I'm sooo going to look terrible at the charity event today after this Niagara... I just want to stomp my feet and scream!!!! I miss him so much!!!!
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: widowat33 on March 14, 2015, 01:13:18 AM
((Hugs))
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: injo on March 14, 2015, 03:39:54 AM
(((Tweety76))) thinking of you today
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: Michael797 on March 16, 2015, 11:42:08 PM
When I dragged my sorry carcass onto the YWBB last year for the first time, you were one of the very first people to smile and welcome me with a warmth I'll never forget. Tweety, you changed my life back then. I'd give anything to be able to change yours in return.

All I can say is that I'll see you in Amsterdam; then I can finally thank you in person. Sending you every healing thought a human can generate.
Title: Re: My time in this section is coming to an end
Post by: Ursula on April 02, 2015, 09:56:24 PM
Hi Tweety, what can I say, I hope you somehow got through that day. Sorry, I am late, but was not online for a bit. Those last moments are engrained forever. For me it is February 15th, so a similar timeline. I want to stop counting the months, I will only count years (that in itself is sad enough).
I guess whichever year or month or week we are in, it will always suck and we will always miss them. Maybe we should plan annual bagos, always on the same date, bloody Valentine's day or something....????
Hugs to you and keep your head up. I wish I had a magic wand...