Young Widow Forum

Time Frame => Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months) => Topic started by: DavidsKtBeth on March 27, 2016, 11:55:07 PM

Title: Moving
Post by: DavidsKtBeth on March 27, 2016, 11:55:07 PM
Well.. 9 months ago was the worst day of my life.  After DH died I moved home with my parents.  On Wednesday I'm moving back to where we started our adult life. All my friends are there but I will be 4 hours from my parents.  I'd how I'm going to handle living alone, doing all the chores myself, paying all the bills myself, cooking for one, and taking care of all 4 pets.  I am sitting here packing and pulled out that dreaded white bag of his belongings from the hospital.  His shirt still smells like him.  I miss him so much.  This isn't fair.  2 of my friends are about to pop out babies and I am trying to figure out how to adult without my best friend.  I miss him so much.
Title: Re: Moving
Post by: SoVerySad on March 28, 2016, 12:45:48 AM
No, it definitely isn't fair. I hope your move goes well for you. It is a lot to handle what two used to do, so it is important to give yourself slack. Take care of the have-tos (taking care of yourself & your pets, paying bills, working if employed) and then do as much of the others as you can manage. Some days you might not manage anything but that and that will be fine. Other days you'll accomplish more. I've learned that dust will wait until you are ready to deal with it. Use paper plates for a little, etc.. if that helps. Simple things like that help a little. Take any help your friends offer.

Sending you tight hugs...
Title: Re: Moving
Post by: Trying on March 28, 2016, 05:34:32 AM
I hope the move goes well, it will be an adjustment for sure.  I'm a list person and it became essential with widow brain to write everything down.  I would make a list for the week of what needed to get done then a list for each day of what HAD to be done.  I included everything like pay bills, make vet appointment for dog, do laundry.  Then each day I could cross things off.  Doing the tasks of 2 people all by yourself at a time where you are far from your best is a struggle but it can be done.  Leave off the less important things for now.
Hopefully your friends will be so happy to have you back in town and will bring you food or take you out in the first few weeks.  By the time their attention fades you will be stronger and more confident. You can do this, and for every time you think about how much you hate doing it alone there will be another moment that you are so proud of yourself for doing it.