Young Widow Forum

Time Frame => Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months) => Topic started by: jonesandjenn19781979 on August 10, 2016, 03:44:49 PM

Title: Funeral
Post by: jonesandjenn19781979 on August 10, 2016, 03:44:49 PM
As I was pulling out of the office parking lot today, I noticed a funeral procession. All I could do was breakdown. Today is the day we buried Clint 2 months ago. All I could picture was his procession and seeing motorist stopped on the side of the road. I remember sitting in the back of the car alone as we drove behind the hearse and watching all of the cars and I noticed a man who was standing beside his motorcycle and I thought it was so respectful that day. People just don't do that anymore.
Our anniversary is this Saturday. A day that I actually wanted to celebrate and will now remember as sorrowful. I miss him so very much and it hurts so very much.
Title: Re: Funeral
Post by: Justin on August 10, 2016, 04:05:27 PM
It's very common for scenes like that to trigger us - especially in the earlier days. Some times, it seems like any little thing can put us back there - remembering that day. Or the day of death, or a special day we had that reduces us to tears thinking about what we have lost.


Time doesn't heal all wounds but it sure makes them hurt less, I think. I've found that as more days get between me and the day that I lost my wife, the hurt and pain are fading away and making more room for the happy memories.


I am just a little over 2 years out now (7/08/2014) and actually went on a job interview yesterday at a mortuary/cemetery. I can honestly say I felt no trepidation, and just though of what a beautiful place it is for a family to remember their love one. I know it's not the same for everyone....


And yes, that was such a respectful gesture for that gentleman to dismount his motorcycle and stand. As a society, it seems folks just want to pay respects via social media ("thoughts and prayers") and then move on to the next thing in a busy life. For those of us stuck in the hell of losing a spouse or fiance or over, it's a real all-encompassing dark cloud that is slow to dissipate and never fully clears.


Hang in there. The hurt never leaves, but it does change. And more importantly, we learn how to live with it.