Young Widow Forum

Time Frame => Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months) => Topic started by: beth_krkswidow on December 08, 2016, 07:39:29 PM

Title: Headstone Shock
Post by: beth_krkswidow on December 08, 2016, 07:39:29 PM
I went to his grave today, as I do every week.  I was shocked to see that his headstone had been put up.  They had said it would be done before Christmas, and I just thought they would let me know when they were doing it.  It was quite a shock.  And not a good one.  Perhaps it would have been better had I been prepared.  I completely lost it.  It is so final now.  I guess he really really is never coming back.  To see our headstone is ... I want my Honey.  I hate this life without him.
Title: Re: Headstone Shock
Post by: mbanyard on December 09, 2016, 09:54:48 AM
Beth. I am so sorry that this happened to you in this way. It is a bit of a smack in the face.

I have had headstone issues too....in fact, I had to fire the company who was making it as they made such a terrible, terrible mess of things.  (It's been really stressful, as now our family cannot even inter due to policies in the cemetery which require the stone to be in prior to interment of ashes).

I don't know which way is worse, but they are certainly both incredibly hard. I do want you to know that you're not alone though and there are people who understand.

Stay strong during this holiday trial many of us are now having to endure.

MB
Title: Re: Headstone Shock
Post by: Julester3 on December 09, 2016, 10:37:54 AM
It is hard when you simply go for a visit and it's magically there. Ours appeared a few days before my birthday and I cried. It wasn't what I would have asked for on my birthday, you know. I think it's a natural reaction. It's permanent and it stares back at us to remind us of our grief and loss. Now that it's there it gives me comfort - it's beautiful and simple and it's my tribute to my wonderful husband. He deserves no less.
Title: Re: Headstone Shock
Post by: beth_krkswidow on December 09, 2016, 04:46:30 PM
"Stay strong during this holiday trial many of us are now having to endure."

Perfect way to put it, and thank you.  You too.  Thank you, mbanyard

"Now that it's there it gives me comfort - it's beautiful and simple and it's my tribute to my wonderful husband. He deserves no less."

I trust that will be how I feel when I see it now.  Thank you.  Yes.  He deserves no less.  Thank you, Julester.

Hugs to you both.
Title: Re: Headstone Shock
Post by: beth_krkswidow on December 15, 2016, 03:26:52 PM
@julester.  Just got the bill for the headstone, and it was set the day after my birthday; what is it about our birthdays and headstones?  I was there the following day but had not been there for 5 days so did not know which day it had been placed.
Title: Re: Headstone Shock
Post by: MR on December 16, 2016, 10:16:18 AM
Yes there is some corelation with imp dates and this kind of stuff. I got a call from Doctor back when my wife was in ICU to discuss her situation and it was my birthday so thought will be good news gift from god but I was told she is brain dead and now they need to remove ventilator. What a gift to get on your birthday, now don`t want to remember my birthday ever.
Title: Re: Headstone Shock
Post by: beth_krkswidow on December 17, 2016, 10:41:52 AM
Oh, MR, I am so sorry.  All "important" dates hold no importance anymore... I dread them.  Can't imagine Christmas without him.  Can't imagine today without him, or tomorrow...