Young Widow Forum

Time Frame => Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months) => Topic started by: LeahRoot84 on December 30, 2016, 08:14:34 AM

Title: Hello Everyone...9 months in here.
Post by: LeahRoot84 on December 30, 2016, 08:14:34 AM
First I would like to introduce myself, my name is Leah and I am 32 years old. My husband passed away March 11th of this year. It has been so crazy for me.

For starters...I was 6 months pregnant with what would have been our first child together. My husband had bipolar, depression and anxiety. His life growing up was far from easy. Little did he realize, it would be hard on him when he got older as well. I said goodbye to my husband at 4:55 on a Friday. I curled up in his arms one last time, begged God to not take him away but he was needed else where.

Since that time, my in laws have not been that nice to me. They have spread rumors about my unborn son and I. Saying that I was nothing more than a whore. Now I seem to be the talk of the town.

Because of this I have not been able to grieve properly. They have all turned against me and went as far as hitting me up the day after his death to tell me how much it was my fault.

I tried everything I could to stay as calm as possible for the sake of our unborn. Now that he is here, I don't wanna pretend anymore. This whole thing was very unfair to me and my son as well as my other children. We got swept under the rug by a lot of people.

I keep praying my anger and hurt will go away. I don't wanna feel like this anymore... :(
Title: Re: Hello Everyone...9 months in here.
Post by: Julester3 on December 30, 2016, 08:29:27 AM
So sorry you are here wth us but glad you found us. I think the hurt and anger will take a while. Your in laws suck for using you so terribly and making your life hell. Sadly I think none of us can avoid some sort of conflict. I hope you can find the space to grieve and to find your peace. Take it easy as best as you can with little ones and don't let these evil negative people get to you. Hugs for today.
Title: Re: Hello Everyone...9 months in here.
Post by: LeahRoot84 on December 30, 2016, 08:35:49 AM
Thank you so much! I could definitely use a hug 😥 I'm so over this feeling. Just wish it would end. I miss my husband so much!!!

Hugs to you as well...Xx
Title: Re: Hello Everyone...9 months in here.
Post by: Wheelerswife on December 30, 2016, 09:14:35 AM
Leah,

I'm so sorry you have reason to be a member of our club.  I hope there is some comfort in knowing you aren't alone in your grief.  My husbands died from very different reasons than yours, however both of my MIL's have been so kind as to place blame on me for the deaths of their sons.  My first MIL blames me for not encouraging my husband to fight to live longer, even though he was clearly tired of the struggle and he was as dependent as an infant.  My second MIL blamed me for not micromanaging the health of her fully independent son, who died of unknown heart issues.  I think that grieving family members sometimes need to blame someone.  It has taken some time, but I have more compassion for them at this point.  I still keep in touch with my first MIL, but I have let my second husband's family drift away.  I don't live near them. 

Hugs to you and all of your children.

Maureen
Title: Re: Hello Everyone...9 months in here.
Post by: LeahRoot84 on December 31, 2016, 06:21:42 AM
Thank you so much, Maureen 😊 Seems like a bad dream that any of us would have to be on this page. I am training myself, or trying, at blocking a lot out. Sounds unhealthy but it's helping me with my sanity some. Xx
Title: Re: Hello Everyone...9 months in here.
Post by: beth_krkswidow on January 03, 2017, 09:46:27 AM
So sorry, Leah, to hear all of this. FIrst and foremost,  so sorry you're here  I have no words of wisdom.  I am in shock that people can be so cruel. So I'll just send you a hug,
Beth
Title: Re: Hello Everyone...9 months in here.
Post by: MR on January 04, 2017, 10:42:10 AM
Hi Leah,
Hugs to you. I think we all go thru some of it. I didn't had similar case but was blaming myself for her death whereas I know it was not my fault. I totally agree anger and hurt will make us something different which might not be good for our kids.

Hugs
Manoj
Title: Re: Hello Everyone...9 months in here.
Post by: LeahRoot84 on January 05, 2017, 01:51:37 PM
Although it's really hard knowing we have all lost our significant others, It brings me comfort to know I'm not alone. Thank you all for the words you have given me. It means a lot. Xx