Young Widow Forum

Time Frame => Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months) => Topic started by: LeahRoot84 on February 09, 2017, 12:17:44 PM

Title: What is wrong with me?
Post by: LeahRoot84 on February 09, 2017, 12:17:44 PM
I'm just avoiding everyone and really, it's my own problems, it really has nothing to do with anyone else. I feel like I'm pushing everyone away! Because the one person I truly want, I can't have. I miss my other half. And at the same time, I'm getting tired of being alone. I just wanna be happy again. This shit sucks! It really does  :(
Title: Re: What is wrong with me?
Post by: MR on February 09, 2017, 03:28:59 PM
Hi Leah
There is nothing wrong with you. Some days will be like that and some days will be better. Go and meet people even if it means forcing yourself. Last weekend after taking too long to decide I finally went to club with a meetup group. I couldn't dance for first 30 minutes and then every few minutes think of her and stop and start staring in space for a while but overall felt good that I came out and met some new people as don't have many close friends in canada and everyone I have is in India.
Have a beer if that makes things better

Title: Re: What is wrong with me?
Post by: LeahRoot84 on February 09, 2017, 11:12:30 PM
Hello Manoj,

I may just take that into consideration. Life hasn't been so much "fun" since SO has passed. But I need to learn to have a good time again. I'm sure it will help my sanity in the long run.

Title: Re: What is wrong with me?
Post by: Julester3 on February 10, 2017, 09:10:24 AM
I think it's normal. I too would rather closet myself away but I force myself to interact. The first few months I avoided family, friends and neighbors. I do go to work everyday, I go to volunteer meetings for music boosters once a month, I go out and do hobby things with my friends. I know it's working because I am feeling a sense of peace. The empty void is still there and I feel it but I don't have to fixate on it as much as I used to. My hobbies are mine and not something I did with LH directly so I feel peace and serenity when I sew, crochet or scrapbook. It fills my idle time and keeps me from focusing too much on the grief. I hope you can find what works. I can only share what has been working for me. Hugs!
Title: Re: What is wrong with me?
Post by: MR on February 10, 2017, 09:42:49 AM
Hi Leah,
I totally understand life is no easy especially after your love is gone. I try to go with this concept
When you can't avoid it might else well try to enjoy it. I know it is very very difficult for all of us but trying doesn't hurt. Finally now after almost 6 months I am getting back to senses. I haven't even invoiced people for the work I did for them before the incident.

Title: Re: What is wrong with me?
Post by: Milojka on February 10, 2017, 01:16:40 PM
I don't think anything is wrong with you except for having lost a very dear, important, close loved one to death. I am sorry.

While others might advize you to force yourself to go out and meet people, I personally do not think you should do that if you don't feel like it.

I think many of us have become less interested in socializing. People are less important to myself too, but the few ones I do see, mean the world to me.

Priorities are different now. Spending time on your own, knowing yourself well, giving attention to your own thoughts and needs,  doing things you like, picking out a few very good friends who love you and so on might help to shape the new person you are bound to become.

It hope this doesn't sound too woo-woo (wooly/feathery/dreamy,) that is not how I meant it.

Next to being more introverted than I used to be, this is another change I have noticed in myself: I don't do things I don't like doing.