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Young Widow Forum => General Discussion => Topic started by: Mac on March 23, 2015, 10:32:41 PM

Title: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Mac on March 23, 2015, 10:32:41 PM
I didn't realize at the time that these were going to be my DW's final words to me, I think that she did. She died later that day.

"I always loved you."

I am grateful for those words. I do wonder what she meant exactly.
Was she making a statement about how constant her love for me was, all those years that we were together as a couple?
Or, was she saying that she had loved me earlier on when were just friends?
We met in college. One time in the last 8 years or so she did say to me: "I kind of wish that you would have gotten things started sooner."
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Bluebird on March 23, 2015, 11:03:12 PM

This is a very sweet post and I'm glad you have those words.

I recall the final conversation I had with my DH. It was (I think) two days before he died. I can't be certain because somehow my brain has muddled the days and conversations. I had traveled overseas to see my family and my DH didn't attend because he didn't feel strong enough. When I returned, I had to stop in Chicago for a business meeting and our last two conversations were while I was there and he was at home in PA.

We were joking a little and I told him I brought him junk food from Australia. I listed what I bought, but then had to admit I'd already eaten at least one of the items and had my eyes on another. He said "Don't you eat all the junk food - leave some for me!" I promised I would but never got to give it to him. It's a sweet moment I'm glad we had...we were both very much at ease and "us".

Take care, Bluebird
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: HvnBound on March 23, 2015, 11:07:08 PM
Mac, what a gift she gave to you :)   I remember transferring DH from the wheelchair to the couch one last time and DH holding on to me for longer than usual during a transfer and he told me I love you. Little did I know that those words would be some of the last important words I ever heard him say.......
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Jess on March 23, 2015, 11:19:38 PM
Joe's last words to me were "I love you, goodnight". About ten minutes later he had a seizure and went into cardiac arrest. He was declared dead about an hour later. They were typical words we would say or anyone would say, but I cherish them.
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Baylee627 on March 23, 2015, 11:36:44 PM
About 30 minutes before he suffered an onslaught of seizures and finally, coma, he and I were on the phone and he said, "I love you... (pregnant pause)...bye."

It was odd, the pause. So odd I had debated phoning him straight back to inquire if everything was alright. But I was already running late for an appointment, so I didn't.

It's the pause that I'll always wonder about, but when I often reflect on it, it gave that last declaration of love more poignancy.

Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: twistedmensa on March 24, 2015, 12:22:22 AM
He knew that morning when he collapsed on the floor and couldn't get back up that this was the end.  He told me as he was being carried down the stairs by the paramedics that he didn't want to climb up those stairs again...I promised he wouldn't have to...and as it turned out, he didn't have to.

They stabilized him and admitted him to ICU. We spent the rest of the day (between naps) chatting. He was weak but in good spirits. We laughed with the nurses.  The kids were at home alone, so I had to leave after his (non) dinner. I told him I would come back after our son left for school. I kissed him goodnight and told him that I loved him...and he said he loved me and would see me tomorrow. In retrospect, the fact that he said he loved me should have tipped me off...he rarely said those words. 

Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Carey on March 24, 2015, 07:57:00 AM
Chad was in Saudi Arabia and he would Skype me every morning before I went to work. I'd prop the phone up on the medicine cabinet shelf and talk to him while I was getting ready for work. He was a stickler for never saying goodbye without I love you. He always used to say, "God forbid something happens".  I was irritated with him that morning. Weekends made me nervous because I knew that no matter what he said, he was going to drink. This was a Friday morning and the next day was his birthday and I was worried. Apparently for good reason because he died the next day but I didn't know until Sunday.  But I love you really was the last thing he said to me, I guess he knew what he was talking about. I so wish I'd done that Skype call differently :(
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: LostMyCharles on March 24, 2015, 12:00:46 PM
It was a Sunday night; he had been putting our 5 year old daughter to bed and they got into an argument. As usual, I entered her room to be the peacemaker; sent him out and calmed her down enough to explain why Daddy was upset and how she needed to correct her behavior. After about 10 minutes, she was settling into sleep when he came back in the room. I was kneeling on one side of her bed rubbing her back, and he circled to the other side of her bed, knelt down and laid over her as if to shelter her in his arms. He bowed his head over her and began whispering. I excused myself to give them time to reconcile; I will never know what he said to her.

Another 10 minutes passed. I was in the master bedroom folding laundry when he returned. He walked into the room, bowed his head and gently said "She kills me." His tone was different. Not angry but more bemused and thoroughly in love, but also tired and defeated. I asked what he meant and he just shook his head and began to change for bed. I don't know if we said much more that night. I'm sure I said good night and I love you out of habit.

The next morning at 5:30 I found him dead.

I will never tell my daughter about that conversation. I do not want her to think she holds any responsibility for his heart attack. I do not want to remind her of their argument. I want her to remember the positives, to cherish the love he showed her. Maybe when she is older and can understand the nuances of those three words and not just a stark interpretation. But I will never forget what he said and wonder if he knew...

Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: klim on March 24, 2015, 05:51:41 PM
no goodbye


"I'm going downstairs to do a ride and then finish my fruit"

He had such healthy was it that his widow maker artery was 75% blocked WTF

sorry for the language but seriously it's what always comes into my head when I think about it........ WTF
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Mizpah on March 25, 2015, 09:25:44 AM
By text about an hour before the accident: "I love you, my darling."

Every morning before he left (a tad earlier than me), he'd say he loved me more today than he did yesterday, that I'm his life and his heart, and every now and then he'd also say that he would use his last breath on this earth to tell me he loves me.  That morning (a Friday), he'd said he couldn't wait for our weekend together. 
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Stargazer74 on March 25, 2015, 09:40:36 AM
As hard as it is for you guys, I find that many of you have very sweet words to remember as your love's last.  Myself, I simply cannot remember the very last words.  It may have been "I love you", or it could have been "I need to pee."  The last interaction I had with Jamie was after we had laid in bed together and held each other for a while.  She got up to use the bathroom, and I decided to get up for the day, since it was already late morning.  She was having trouble urinating due to the kidney infection and sat there for a while, got up brushed her teeth and then went back to try to urinate again.  I walked back into the bedroom shortly thereafter and she had laid down and was already asleep.  I walked past her a few more times over the next hour, never noticing any problems, and I remember hearing her stirring in the bed.  I left her for a little more than an hour, and then came back and found her gone.  The shock that came with finding her and the subsequent events that followed pretty much obliterated my memories of before I found her.  Maybe one day I can go back and try to remember more, or maybe my mind will make up something good.  But whatever the case, I am thankful that we did have that one last close time together before I got up.
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: JacklessSally on March 25, 2015, 11:12:55 AM
Our last conversation via text :

B: " I only took two at first to kill enormous amount of pain"
Me: " Ok"
B: "Sorry"
Me : "For?"
B : "I feel like you are upset with me"
Me: "No no.. just, you said you didnt like the feeling. Just suggesting you take less"
B: "Ok"

That last ok was sent at 6:42 pm. He was gone by 7:03 pm. I hate that he left this world thinking I was mad at him...

The meds he was referring to is the Tramadol that was prescribed to him that morning. It is not to be prescribed to someone who has a drug history. He told me it made him feel dizzy and he didn't feel right. Instead of insisting he stay home, I let him be hard headed and go to work. He never came home.

Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: lcoxwell on March 26, 2015, 09:35:03 PM
I love this thread, and being able to go through and read everyone's stories.  These stories are so touching and the love shines through.

My Kenneth's last words word uttered to me, and to me daughter.  She had come in to see him, one final time, and to visit with her younger brother on his 18th birthday.  Kenneth was sitting on the edge of the bed, smoking his final cigarette (which is so fitting, because he nearly always had a cigarette in one hand and a soda in the other).  He and our Nutmeg, as he called her, exchanged a few words, then he told the two of us he was tired and wanted to take a nap.  He said he would talk to her later and hugged her.  When he hugged her, he told her he loved her.

As she and I were leaving the room, I called back, "Love you, Babe!" And he smiled and said, "I love you, too!"  Those were the last words he ever spoke.  He laid down to take his nap, and never woke up again. 
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Lisa on March 26, 2015, 10:55:40 PM
"Need air "  :'(
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: LostMyCharles on March 27, 2015, 11:04:36 AM
((((((((HUGS)))))))) LisaPop. That's heartwrenching.
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: keeptrying on March 27, 2015, 11:37:38 AM
He put his forehead against mine and said, "there is no me without you".
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Carey on March 27, 2015, 03:02:13 PM
Oh.........KT :(   achingly sad but oh so sweet.
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: MissingSquish on March 27, 2015, 08:26:55 PM
I honestly can't remember everything that Squish said during our last conversation. I do remember that some of his last words were "I love you, K".

It's been bothering me for the past week or so.  I think it's gone out of my memory.  I think I might have posted it on ywbb, but I didn't go back and comb through my posts before it shut down.

Oh well.
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 27, 2015, 10:27:57 PM
I have absolutely no idea why my post if our last words is gone. WTF?
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Munsen on March 28, 2015, 07:37:31 PM
Not really...I mean we'd talked the night before but it had been a short conversation as he'd had a long day and was really tired so we just said our usual, 'Love you, talk to you tomorrow'...only in our case, that tomorrow talk never came.

I do remember one other comment from that night's conversation that has always stuck in my mind, I had given him the latest news on a young woman we knew and told him that she'd passed that day from her cancer and he said, "That's awful. No one should have to bury a loved one just before Christmas!"  Later, his comment just seemed odd as that was exactly what me & our kids had to do for him.

I also wish we could have had a last conversation saying goodbye to each other (and knowing it was a final goodbye) and that I could have held his hand doing so but he died alone and far from home and all who loved him. Just seemed so wrong and unnatural somehow.

So many things we all wish we could change I guess.  But since we can't change any of it, I guess the 'trick' is learning how to live with the unfinished business of no goodbyes.  :(

(((Hugs to all)))
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: messageinabottle on March 28, 2015, 07:58:31 PM
I really do not remember what his last words were to me.   We were getting ready for church and he put the baby to nap.   Then got up and said I am going to take a shower.   He collapsed in the bathroom and died.  So I guess those were his last words.
I do remember being alone with him after he died in the ER room.    I was pregnant and thinking this can't be real.   
I kissed him and said thank you for loving me.   I felt like he was there (not in his body) but above me.  I can't explain that feeling but watching.   
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Frederick on March 28, 2015, 08:58:32 PM
I was about to leave his hospital room; his mom had come to spend the night and I was going to go home to gather some things and cancel the home care services at our house since he was going to be discharged into hospice care at her house. I hugged and kissed him and said, "I love you."  His voice was a raspy whisper, "Love you too." That was the last thing I heard him say; he lost the ability to speak shortly after that. He was with us another few days and unfortunately I don't remember the last thing I said to him.
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: smabify on March 30, 2015, 02:21:28 PM
"I want to go home. I'm so tired. Name her Leanne. "

He asked permission, and settled on our daughters name. She was born 10 weeks later.
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: BentNOTbroken on March 30, 2015, 03:30:12 PM
I do not remember the last words my wife said to me. What I do remember was the last words she spoke while holding our 5 hours old babies' hand: "I love you". I was taking a picture of the moment for our daughter so I was on the other side of the room when it happened. I miss that girl......
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: maddalena on March 30, 2015, 06:25:33 PM
there was a lot of confusion before he went unconscious, but his final text to me was "i can always text you" and our final conversation was "happy anniversary" from him and me responding, "will you be my valentine" and his response was "yes" and a hug. He was so shaky it scared me. Who knew.
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Wheelerswife on March 30, 2015, 07:05:54 PM
My final conversation with John was over Facetime, as we were 1600 miles apart.  We reviewed our day.  I asked him to pull his hair out of his pony tail because I wanted to imagine running my fingers through his hair.  He obliged me.  We talked about having to sleep alone again, but that I would be home in 5 days. We made plans to talk in the morning, exchanged kisses and I love you's, and said goodnight.  He died a couple of hours later in his sleep.  I still replay that conversation in my head.


Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Wife of Tomasz on February 08, 2018, 04:53:56 PM
I think this is a great topic so I want to add my story.
I do not remember the last words. Actually the last thing he said was in polish and I do not speak it so I did not understand. I will always wonder what it was that he said. That night he had a bit to drink and he was always very mooshy when inebriated. He said so many wonderful things to me, how he couldn't wait for me to get home from work everyday, how much he loved me, and things like that. The thing he said that I remember most often these days is this "I will never leave you". He had never said that to me before. At first those words haunted me, but now I find a lot of comfort in them.
Title: Re: Saying Goodbye - Last Words
Post by: Loxlie on February 27, 2018, 09:34:51 PM
Lori had been having trouble sleeping and had asked me to get her a couple Unisom. when I handed them to her, she looked at me and said, "Thank you for being so good to me". Those were the last coherent words she spoke to me. I will re-live that moment every day for the rest of my life.