Young Widow Forum

Time Frame => Beyond Active Grieving => Topic started by: TornApart on July 09, 2017, 05:31:27 AM

Title: Longer widowed than married...
Post by: TornApart on July 09, 2017, 05:31:27 AM
Realised the other day that on my wedding anniversary this year, I would have been widowed longer than  we were married. 5 years.
Funny how the littlest thoughts can knock you to your knees.
Admitted to a friend that I had cried from the depths of my soul... her reaction? "Still?"

Yes. Still. In 10 years, still. 20 years, still. 50, still. I know now that it will never not hurt.
Title: Re: Longer widowed than married...
Post by: Eddienhp on July 09, 2017, 06:07:23 AM
I will be in the same position in a few months. It seems surreal. I had very difficult times when my children reached their birthdays that signified they were alive longer without their dad than with him. I am just getting around to cleaning more of his personal belongings. Most I can't part with. The children will want them. I guess I am just collecting and organizing them. Ugh, it sucks. I remember the good times and wonder why he had to leave so young.

Hang in there.

Sending you strength,
Eileen
Title: Re: Longer widowed than married...
Post by: Lisa on July 09, 2017, 07:03:47 PM
This kind of stuff messes with my head. I passed that point awhile ago but there are still other milestones and dates to drive me batty.
(Hugs)
Title: Re: Longer widowed than married...
Post by: Captains wife on July 10, 2017, 06:14:24 AM
Yes I too am in this "club"- in fact, at over 5 years out I have been a widow longer than I was with my husband overall. So sad : (   Sometimes Id give anything to just talk to him one last time and show him how well our son is doing. He really misses his Dad- even though he can't remember him : (
Title: Re: Longer widowed than married...
Post by: Wheelerswife on July 10, 2017, 06:57:56 AM
Yes. Longer widowed than married and soon longer widowed than the time we knew each other. Sigh - because the impact he had on my life isn't measured in months or years, although some people seem to think this.

Maureen
Title: Re: Longer widowed than married...
Post by: Adley on July 14, 2017, 10:02:06 AM
Yes. The 11th would have been our eighth wedding anniversary. We didn't make it to five. We were together almost eight years, married almost five. Long enough to have three fine children, have our own place, and cry when I type it.
Title: Re: Longer widowed than married...
Post by: Linda L on July 28, 2017, 07:18:50 PM
I finally hit that milestone this year, over 14 years married, and over 14 years widowed.  It was a really strange feeling having a "first" this far out.
Title: Re: Longer widowed than married...
Post by: imissdow on July 28, 2017, 07:33:44 PM
Omg! I'm almost at this point. Married 6 years, 2 months and 12 days. August 31, will be 6 years 2 months and 13 days widowed . My youngest is now 11, she was 5 when he died. How did I manage to survive those early days. My kids tell me I was a zombie, I don't remember. That's probably a blessing.
Title: Re: Longer widowed than married...
Post by: Christopher on August 28, 2017, 12:25:08 AM
I just hit this mark a month ago.

I'm still so upset that my hurt is showing now more than ever.

I had to edit this post to get the hurt out of it.
Title: Re: Longer widowed than married...
Post by: Rayspumpkin on August 31, 2017, 10:41:47 PM
I'm hitting this too...gone 5 years this year in November...we were married for 5 years 4 months 4 days...so next March... I'll be a mess. His bday...plus officially being widowed longer than married. I already dread it.
Title: Re: Longer widowed than married...
Post by: MR on September 01, 2017, 03:57:19 PM
Hugs to everyone it is tough.