Young Widow Forum

Specific Situations => Young Widowed Parents => Topic started by: Lostdove124 on July 21, 2017, 01:57:54 AM

Title: Confused? Stepdad???
Post by: Lostdove124 on July 21, 2017, 01:57:54 AM
So my husbands been gone now 4 months. Our daughter who is 5 was his worlds he did everything n anything for her. Well I been dating this guy for 3 weeks now and she got to meet him and she fell in love with him. Which is crazy fast. Everything she does she wants him there. I've known him for years n years since I was 12 I'm 25 now. Well tonight she was telling her cousin about him and said he was her stepdad and she loves him. It shocked me I'm. It ready for that yet. I just don't know what to tell her. He treats her like him own I don't want to take him away from her because of it. I just don't know what to do.
Title: Re: Confused? Stepdad???
Post by: Portside on July 21, 2017, 06:41:39 AM
Oh boy. It does all sound pretty fast to me.

Regardless of how you feel about this man, it may be wise to try to reduce the intensity of the feelings your daughter has developed for him.

I understand he's great with her and all but unforeseen things can occur with your relationship with him and it sounds like if you and he were to break up, your daughter would be crushed. Perhaps tell your daughter (gently, and in an age appropriate manner) that, No, he isn't a step-dad but you care about him a lot and you like him too. But it's too soon to call him step-dad.

In any case, this will be difficult because of course, you don't want to upset your little girl.

I didn't introduce my now wife to any of my children until after we decided that we were in it for the long haul. But, obviously, that ship has sailed in your case.

Be gentle but I think your girl will understand what is going on if you explain where you are in your relationship.

After I was widowed, my youngest son would approach women in the grocery store and ask them if they would be his new mommy. Tore my guts out - and theirs too.

I quit taking him to the store.  :'(

Good luck - Mike

 

 

 
Title: Re: Confused? Stepdad???
Post by: Sugarbell on July 21, 2017, 08:23:48 AM
Agree with Portside...

My son was almost 5 when he lost his Dad...He did the same thing!