Young Widow Forum

Young Widow Forum => General Discussion => Topic started by: KrypticKat on August 01, 2017, 10:53:09 AM

Title: Wedding Dress
Post by: KrypticKat on August 01, 2017, 10:53:09 AM
I couldn't find a discussion on this on the site but I'm stuck on what to do. My dress is still sitting in the closet where I left it after the wedding. I never got it cleaned and preserved because I wasn't sure if I was going to sell it or keep it after the wedding. And my husband died and I honestly just feel more confused about it. Part of me thinks I should sell it as it's taking up room but there's another part of me that looks at it and wants to put it somewhere special. But what am I going to do with it? It's not like I'll have a daughter that I want to let wear it. Am I ever really going want to pull it out? I'm feeling so confused about it...
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: hachi on August 01, 2017, 11:00:34 AM
I eloped in a borrowed dress, so the sentimentality for a wedding dress is not there for me. Would you consider donating it? There are different organizations that do different things as far as proceeds from selling it and/or providing a dress to military and first responder brides....
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: Wheelerswife on August 01, 2017, 12:48:46 PM
I finally let go of my wedding dress from my first marriage a few months ago - almost 25 years after our wedding and 7 1/2 years after he died. I still have the Hawaiian print dress and the matching shirt my second husband and I wore for our beach wedding on the Big Island.

I think this is something personal for you. Is the sentiment enough for you to want to hold onto it for now?  Like most things, we come to realize that we will get through these decisions in our own time.


Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: Julester3 on August 01, 2017, 01:09:01 PM
Since you are uncertain, why not just hold onto it for awhile?. Get it dry cleaned, buy an acid free box and tissue paper from online (I used Hollinger) and put it on a shelf in the closet. So if you decide to keep it or donate it later, it's still in good shape. My kids want me to hold onto my dress.
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: Jess on August 01, 2017, 01:32:12 PM
So I have been working on getting up the nerve to do something with my dress. Based on a suggestion from someone here a while back, I had decided to donate it for use as an angel dress, which is a funeral dress for infants. Unfortunately, my recent searches now that I am feeling more ready have shown that a lot of the local places that do this are backfilled with dresses and they aren't currently accepting donations. It is a wonderful problem for them to have, but it means I have to rethink what I want to do with it.

I have considered donation for someone that can't afford a dress, but part of me has this little superstitious feeling that maybe the thing is cursed. I know it is silly, but still.
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: Lisa on August 01, 2017, 05:30:17 PM
i get those feelings jess. doesnt make it silly or true,
i wanted to donate mine to a thrift store but my step daughter may want to use a piece of it someday, so it is preserved and sitting in storage. i know people who spent a fortune preserving just to have it yellow anyway. my mom...not widowed kept her dress hanging in her closet for decades. it wasnt a long dress. eventually she put it in a dress up trunk for her gentle with yourself and dont judge yourself
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: Captains wife on August 02, 2017, 02:42:23 PM
I got my wedding dress (which in hindsight I now cant believe I spent so much money on) cleaned and boxed and its just sitting. Im thinking of donating or selling it as I certainly wouldn't wear it again and there's no one in my family to give it to. But there's also a part of me that cant let go of it - that plus a box full of my wedding stuff (shoes, garter, dried wedding bouquet, our program). Not sure why I cant just donate it all or throw it out.
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: Wheelerswife on August 02, 2017, 04:12:41 PM
Captain's wife...I have kept a box of wedding stuff from both marriages. I think I will always want those little memories. I went through both of them before packing them to move. I'm glad I have them. Others may feel differently...I know...

Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: Ronda on August 03, 2017, 09:44:22 PM
I just cut mine all up this past weekend.  My daughter is getting married at the end of September.  The dress was a very inexpensive dress and is now horribly out of style.  I knew there was no way she would want to wear it.  I am using the lace from it to make her bridal garters.  At least she will be wearing a little bit of it. I would not make a decision to get rid of your dress until you can do it for the right reasons and only you can decide what those are.  I am still holding onto a bunch of my husbands old shirts thinking I will make memory quilts for the kids, who are now adults, out of them.  It has been eight years.  It will probably never happen, but I'm not ready to give up on the idea of it yet.
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: TooSoon on August 04, 2017, 01:24:49 PM
I wore a fire engine red linen shift to my "shot-gun" wedding  (we just went to the courthouse and out to lunch) ---  I was five months pregnant and it was the only thing I could still fit into.  That was 11 years ago, and its still hanging in my closet, since I saved it for my daughter who is now both a 10-year old bean pole and just about as tall as me.  Who knows if she'll ever want it, but I haven't been compelled to get rid of it though its not like a traditional wedding dress and can just hang out there with all my work clothes pretty much unnoticed. 

Like many things on this journey, you'll know when the time is right or the right recipient presents her/him/itself.   I did not have a wedding dress to contend with but I did have a sculpture studio in my basement to clear out.  It took me a year to decide what to do with my husband's studio (and piles of "supplies" (read crap he collected for future art projects)), but one day I figured out what I wanted and needed to do with it all and in one day it was done and I felt really, really good about it and still do.  No rush if you're uncertain or not yet ready.