Young Widow Forum

Young Widow Forum => General Discussion => Topic started by: Bunny on August 08, 2017, 05:25:45 PM

Title: You know you're a widow when...
Post by: Bunny on August 08, 2017, 05:25:45 PM
...you read in the news about a couple in your state who both died in a car crash the day after their wedding and your first thought is 'well, that's fortunate, it woulda sucked if one of them had lived'. My second thought was for their poor families, losing their children so very young. I can't imagine...

Title: Re: You know you're a widow when...
Post by: oneoftwo on August 09, 2017, 12:13:53 AM
We all should have been so lucky-
https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/life/95486677/loving-couple-married-for-63-years-die-a-few-hours-apart

but, you know what- I've recently realized my guy wouldn't want me to go to waste - me physical me, me mental me, me exercise partner me, me pretend chef "hey look what I cooked!" me.

All that should not go to waste.
We'll see what I make of it

Title: Re: You know you're a widow when...
Post by: fairlanegirl on August 09, 2017, 04:10:53 AM
Well spotted oneoftwo  -  are you now outed as a fellow Kiwi? :-) Rainy old night here in Quake City.
I like that saying that goes something like, 'May you live to be 100 years old, and may I live to be 100 less a day'. Wouldn't even want to inflict a day of this on a beloved now, so think I'd reverse them. 6 1/2 years here.
Title: Re: You know you're a widow when...
Post by: MR on August 09, 2017, 10:12:11 AM
My Sister lost both her inlaws on same day. Good for couple as they don't have to live without each other but devastating for kids. Couple was in their late 60's so not that young and all kids were well settled.
Title: Re: You know you're a widow when...
Post by: oneoftwo on August 09, 2017, 04:31:30 PM
fairlanegirl- my husband was, and our 3 kids are- we lived north of ChCh for 7 years.
I picked you out early on, I think there is at least 1 kiwi bloke here somewhere too.
Kia kaha
Title: Re: You know you're a widow when...
Post by: Monique on August 10, 2017, 08:23:39 PM
Yep, I can relate to this. I'd much rather have gone with him than live through this hell...
Title: Re: You know you're a widow when...
Post by: sojourner on August 10, 2017, 09:00:56 PM
Sometimes I think that I'd rather it was me than him who died, since going together wasn't any kind of option... and it's not in any noble way at all.  And no worries, I'm in no way suicidal. My will to live, and someday hopefully soon to thrive again, is strong.

I have faith in where I go when my time is up, but sometimes I think how nice it would be if I were the one in peace now. Instead, I'm left to deal with the combined fallout from his illness, death, and uneven parenting style on our kids.  :(
Title: Re: You know you're a widow when...
Post by: MR on August 11, 2017, 09:32:59 AM
Actually we think it should have been me instead of her or him but again God has decided other way. Probably them been along would be tougher.
Hugs
Title: Re: You know you're a widow when...
Post by: Mrs Reader on August 11, 2017, 02:27:22 PM
... when you talk to your wedding ring in your right hand where you wear it nowadays.
I use it as a microphone to contact my DH  :o
Title: Re: You know you're a widow when...
Post by: Love2fish on August 12, 2017, 07:49:46 PM
I think I could feel the same way after hearing such a story Bunny.

But I think it's better when one lives on.  To remember and to create new memories.
I met a very old widow in my first month.  She told me that my job was to go and make another woman happy and to waste no time about it.  Her wisdom was that widows know how to do that and why.

Tonight is the 5th anniversary for me.  I have a good life. 
I am grateful for the life I had before as well.

Saying these things here feels a little like saying them to DW tonight.

Is that odd?