Young Widow Forum

Socializing => Relationships/Remarriage => Topic started by: Trying on September 16, 2017, 06:52:37 PM

Title: 4 days until 4 years and 2 weeks until chapter 2 wedding
Post by: Trying on September 16, 2017, 06:52:37 PM
I'm feeling very reflective tonight.  I got one of those dreaded phone calls asking for DH.  Usually I just say "he's not home" when I know it's a telemarketer but today I said " He isn't here, He has been dead for 4 years".  Wow, not easy for me or the poor woman from half way around the world on the other end of the phone.  Oh, and I had to meet with my lawyer, a close friend and and business associate of DH to finalize our prenup and my new will.  FiancĂ© can't really understand the importance of a very thorough will, I didn't either, before...luckily DH did.

Feeling happy about the future and nostalgic about my past has been coming out in my dreams, I wake up not real clear who I was dreaming about.  Tomorrow we go to the wedding of the son and daughter of two couples we were very close with.  Remembering them meeting at our BBQ when they were in middle school, those great parties we used to throw with friends around all of the time.  My life is so different now, I am so different now. DH and fiancĂ© are each wonderful men and I know I am very lucky to have found a partner to share my chapter 2 but this time of year I can't thinking about my old life. 

If you made it this far into my post, thanks for listening.  I have no one I can talk to about all of this.
Title: Re: 4 days until 4 years and 2 weeks until chapter 2 wedding
Post by: tybec on September 16, 2017, 07:23:03 PM

Thank you for posting.  I appreciate your words and sharing of experiences.  It gives me hope and makes me smile even with wet eyes.

Congrats!
Title: Re: 4 days until 4 years and 2 weeks until chapter 2 wedding
Post by: Trying on September 16, 2017, 07:41:07 PM
Thank you Tybec.  Tonight I feel like "congratulations for making lemonade out of lemons".  Fiance deserves to feel like the best thing that has EVER happened to me while in my heart he is the best thing I could ever have hoped for at this time in my life.  I would never let him feel this way, he is a God send, so thank you for hearing my heart.
Title: Re: 4 days until 4 years and 2 weeks until chapter 2 wedding
Post by: Julester3 on September 16, 2017, 08:13:47 PM
Sounds like a reflective time for you indeed! Hugs and thanks for sharing. I'll be thinking of you as the time gets closer to your wedding!
Title: Re: 4 days until 4 years and 2 weeks until chapter 2 wedding
Post by: sojourner on September 16, 2017, 08:31:31 PM
I'm hearing you, and I think I'd feel pretty much the same in your shoes!

Quite recently, a lot of things of my life "before" and "after" have been coming out in my dreams. I think it's related to having some big family crises and major milestones cooling down to a low simmer. My brain's seemingly starting to relax out of an extended survival mode and starting to process everything again. The subconcious is fascinating, and kinda weird at times.

Congratulations on breaking through to a good place after all the bad, Trying!
Title: Re: 4 days until 4 years and 2 weeks until chapter 2 wedding
Post by: cathyr on September 16, 2017, 09:39:13 PM
Trying, I hear you!  Much of my recent life has been similar to what you describe.  I've remarried, and although I'm glad to be out of the worst of my intense grieving, I'm struck with the differences in my life then and now.  At times, I long for the simplicity and joy of the past, but am very grateful for what the future holds.

Congratulations on the new chapter in your life and wishing you all the happiness in the world.
Title: Re: 4 days until 4 years and 2 weeks until chapter 2 wedding
Post by: Sugarbell on September 18, 2017, 10:15:56 PM
Very exciting news! So happy for you!
Title: Re: 4 days until 4 years and 2 weeks until chapter 2 wedding
Post by: Abitlost on September 20, 2017, 04:05:02 PM
Fiance deserves to feel like the best thing that has EVER happened to me while in my heart he is the best thing I could ever have hoped for at this time in my life. 

I don't think it is fair to pose this statement to yourself. When one has a happy marriage that ends in death and an unfinished life, I don't think there is any set of circumstances under which your chapter two could be "the best thing". You have formed a union that makes you happy in the present, and he is your future, but it is torturing yourself to rate places in your heart.

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! I hope you will post photos!

Hugs,

abl
Title: Re: 4 days until 4 years and 2 weeks until chapter 2 wedding
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on September 20, 2017, 05:09:18 PM
Congratulations Trying!
Title: Re: 4 days until 4 years and 2 weeks until chapter 2 wedding
Post by: Lisa on December 04, 2017, 11:03:52 PM
Wishing you all the best
Title: Re: 4 days until 4 years and 2 weeks until chapter 2 wedding
Post by: beth_krkswidow on December 05, 2017, 02:28:10 PM
I think forever we will have conflicting thoughts and emotions.

Good we have this place to say those things we can't say to normal people.

Hugs