Young Widow Forum

Socializing => Social Encounters => Topic started by: StillWidowed on September 19, 2017, 09:36:58 AM

Title: When you finally break the cycle..........
Post by: StillWidowed on September 19, 2017, 09:36:58 AM
The emotionally unavailable ex pulled his usual stunt and texted me after months and months of no contact.  It's been a long and painful road getting over him.  In the past, he would contact me, and we would repeat the cycle, resulting in me being further hurt and disappointed.  But this time was different.  After he texted me, I waited 4 days before responding with the following:

"It's taken a long time for my heart to catch up to my head, but I'm finally making progress.  Please do not contact me anymore". 

I've never in all the years he's played the ever seductive withholding dance, told him to jog on.  After I did, I called my mother and cried on the phone to her.  I know I did the right thing, and had finally come to the place where I'd rather be alone than spend another minute on a man that did nothing but jerk me around.
 
But still, it felt so final. 

For any of you out there that are going thru something similar, hang in there.  Trying to navigate thru the waters of the dating world after loss seems to make it all the more difficult.  Especially when you give your heart and have it broken, again.  Hold onto hope, even when some days feel hopeless.
Title: Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
Post by: jgib on September 19, 2017, 01:47:03 PM
congratulations
Title: Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on September 19, 2017, 03:32:03 PM
Way to go SW!! Way to care for yourself!! 
Hugs
Title: Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
Post by: Trying on September 19, 2017, 04:26:13 PM
That took guts and a heavy dose of self respect, way to go!  As hard as it is, don't doubt that you did the right thing.
Title: Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
Post by: Virgo on September 20, 2017, 06:48:07 AM
Good for you!!
Title: Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
Post by: MR on September 20, 2017, 02:02:42 PM
Great. Keep it going.
Title: Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
Post by: kjs1989 on September 20, 2017, 06:50:24 PM
You are taking care of YOU!  Better things are ahead.  After what we have been through, it is just a blip on the radar of life. Believe that.
Title: Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
Post by: faye on September 21, 2017, 09:36:46 PM
 "I'd rather be alone than spend another minute on a man that did nothing but jerk me around."

A lifetime ago, I had just moved back to the city that  would be my home for years.  I was hanging around some of my old friends.  I told my Mom that if I kept hanging around them, I would probably end up back with Old Boyfriend, who was a jerk.  She asked if that was what I wanted, and I told her no.  She suggested I not hang around those people. I took her advice.  It still hurt, though,for a while.
Title: Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
Post by: Captains wife on September 22, 2017, 11:00:27 AM
Seriously - good for you. This is the best thing you can do for yourself. I was in a somewhat similar situation and finally I told him good bye for good. I miss him a bit, sure, (the good side) but it was the best thing I ever did - I got him out of my space, heart and mind. I feel free now of his toxic situation (he was also a huge drinker). It feels so good to move on.
Title: Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
Post by: arneal on October 05, 2017, 02:20:19 PM
You go, girl. Now that you have done it, it will be easier to spot the jerks in future and tell them to get to steppin right away. {{{hugs}}}