Young Widow Forum

Time Frame => Beyond Active Grieving => Topic started by: TornApart on October 20, 2017, 06:54:17 AM

Title: Today would have been our 10th wedding anniversary
Post by: TornApart on October 20, 2017, 06:54:17 AM
Today would have been our 10th wedding anniversary. We got in 5 anniversaries before he died.

No one remembered. Not bitter. Just wanted to acknowledge it somewhere. Not a FB post where everyone reacts with 😢. Just somewhere where the people that read it get it. I'm ok.
Title: Re: Today would have been our 10th wedding anniversary
Post by: Wheelerswife on October 20, 2017, 08:00:38 AM
Hugs!

Maureen
Title: Re: Today would have been our 10th wedding anniversary
Post by: sojourner on October 20, 2017, 08:45:27 AM
I completely get it. The birthdays, anniversaries and other special days that maybe only I remember... and even if they did remember, virtually no one in my daily life can know what it's like through widowed eyes and hearts. (And at times I think it's better to hear nothing than listening to minimizing platitudes from some of them.)

Usually I get myself a vase of flowers to honor the memory and the significance of the day. It's just my way of expressing that these days do matter.

Peace to you today!
Title: Re: Today would have been our 10th wedding anniversary
Post by: CJF on October 20, 2017, 09:18:05 AM
I get it too.  Nobody acknowledges our anniversary anymore (it's been 6 1/2 years).
Not sure if they truly don't remember or just think I should be "over it" by now.  Hugs to you on this day.
Title: Re: Today would have been our 10th wedding anniversary
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on October 20, 2017, 02:24:25 PM
I get it too.  I just don't understand but have come to learn "it is what it is"
Hugs
Title: Re: Today would have been our 10th wedding anniversary
Post by: Euf on October 20, 2017, 07:34:57 PM


Yes, being bitter doesn't help but it's hard to know what does.

I hope that it helps to have us know and understand what you are saying.

(((hugs)))
Title: Re: Today would have been our 10th wedding anniversary
Post by: TornApart on October 21, 2017, 06:33:13 PM
Thanks all. It does help to be able to reach out on this forum. You all know how hard it is to keep going and wear 'the face' in public when it is taking all your strength just to get out of bed. You are right - most people assume we are 'over it' by a certain point.
Title: Re: Today would have been our 10th wedding anniversary
Post by: sojourner on October 21, 2017, 07:11:50 PM
Yeah, "the face"... that mask, that shield... and I'm not always sure whom I'm protecting more. Myself from unwelcome comments, or them in their innocence and in that naivete of those whose domain is still the land of togetherness, birthdays, anniversary celebrations...?

Hard to blame them; I used to live in that neighborhood myself.
Title: Re: Today would have been our 10th wedding anniversary
Post by: Bunny on October 24, 2017, 06:26:56 PM
The thing about wedding anniversaries is, after that first year, really only you and your spouse remember it. (Maybe your parents/in-laws/children might). That's the delight when you're married- it's a day of celebration for just two; unlike a birthday, that's for one, or a holiday that's for many. It's unique that way. And, while you're married, it's oh so lovely and fabulous to have this special, intimate celebration for two. Then they're gone and for the first time you actually notice it truly is a holiday of two that no one else really pays much attention to unless you tell them. And celebrating a holiday for two when you are now one can feel pretty darn lonely.