Young Widow Forum

Time Frame => Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months) => Topic started by: Gem on October 23, 2017, 05:08:10 PM

Title: What will my next year be
Post by: Gem on October 23, 2017, 05:08:10 PM
I am now coming up on a year.... And this next year.... I really HOPE i can find away to be happy with being by myself.....If i can just find away, to be happy making me happy....I find myself feeling guilty for crying ..when i got 35 WONDERFUL years.   Thank you everyone on here, even though i do not talk much, all the reading has helped sooo much .. Thank You All !!
Title: Re: What will my next year be
Post by: Julester3 on October 23, 2017, 06:29:30 PM
Hugs! It's always a work in progress - searching within ourselves to find what can help us find a sense of happy.
Title: Re: What will my next year be
Post by: Trying on October 23, 2017, 07:18:43 PM
The only thing I will say is that the one year mark is not a magic turning point so please don't set yourself up for the let down when grief is still there like I did.  Making it through a year of firsts is an accomplishment that deserves some recognition.  However, we can not be expected to be "over it" or "back to normal".  The longer we have been married, the longer the adjustment to life without our spouse can be.  I started dating my DH at 19, we were married 20 years.  I had no idea how to be a grown up without him so the adjustment was huge on top of the grief. So no guilt about the tears!

I have passed 4 years now and I have a new normal and happiness but it was some work to get here and I am forever changed by my grief.

That was supposed to sound more encouraging than it came out.

Big Hugs to you as you hit this milestone.
Title: Re: What will my next year be
Post by: Bereft on November 09, 2017, 09:41:57 PM
A special FUCK YOU to all the people who keep telling me I should "be over it" 8 months out.  Come talk to me when your loved one is RIPPED FROM YOUR LIFE ....

That felt good.
Title: Re: What will my next year be
Post by: beth_krkswidow on November 12, 2017, 05:04:08 PM
Guilty for crying, Gem?  Never!  I'm at 18 months and I still cry a lot.  It's expected.  It's necessary.  It's sometimes healing.  Sometimes cathartic.  And sometimes it's just miserable, but always always always NOT a reason for guilt!  Sending hugs and a tissue. 
Ok,  A box of tissues
Title: Re: What will my next year be
Post by: rifatheroffour on November 12, 2017, 07:18:27 PM
Echoing above, never feel guilty for crying or any other emotion you find yourself in.  I'm approaching 5 years and most of the time I'm ok.  There still come times though where the grief monster sneaks up on you. I had a small episode this morning but it went as fast as it came.  I have found the fastest route is straight through, let the tears come and cleanse and move forward from there.