Young Widow Forum

Young Widow Forum => General Discussion => Topic started by: Leadfeather on October 30, 2017, 07:30:33 PM

Title: Tonight I opened up the urn.
Post by: Leadfeather on October 30, 2017, 07:30:33 PM
This weekend, weather permitting, my late wife's best friend and I are going on a day hike in Manistee. There is a hill along the trail that was one of my wife's favorite places. She and her girl friends camped there several times. And she and I camped there together also. The picture below is one I took the first time she showed me the view from that hill. I remember how excited she was to share that place with me.

Saturday I will place some of her ashes on that hill. Tonight, in preparation, I opened the urn that contains her ashes for the first time. It was hard but I think that the fear of doing it was worse than actually doing it. Which seems to be a theme with a lot of firsts this year. The fear is worse than the act. Now that I have over come that hurdle I feel like I can move forward with plans to leave her ashes in the places she loved.

(https://preview.ibb.co/c5b1fm/IMG_2637.jpg) (https://ibb.co/hMxUY6)
Title: Re: Tonight I opened up the urn.
Post by: Wife of Tomasz on October 31, 2017, 09:59:19 AM
Hi Leadfeather,
opening the urn is a hard step to take. So glad to hear that you got through it ok. I was surrounded with family when I did that. they did most of the work as I could barely see through my tears. I am very glad they where there as I don't know how I would have done it alone. Overall everything about spreading the ashes was really hard. I think I did it too soon. It was still under a year. But now I am really glad that he is in one of his favorite places on earth that he never got to see in real life. the hill seams like a beautiful place. peace be with you when you spread the ashes.
Title: Re: Tonight I opened up the urn.
Post by: klim on November 01, 2017, 07:36:16 AM
I have taken my husbands ashes and spread them in various locations. He was a man in motion and I felt he would not want to be in just one place. (An odd thought maybe but it was my thought)

I have dealt with all ash interactions in private ,on my own. Opening the urn , spreading the ashes have been my time with him to say I loved you ,goodbye. At one location when I traveled to europe I was with someone( actually my new BF) and I just explained what i was going to do and he gave me space. Although he was nearby ,it was still a private event.


Goodluck this weekend for me it has always been a peaceful event. Hopefully it will be good for you.
Title: Re: Tonight I opened up the urn.
Post by: trying2breathe on November 01, 2017, 09:33:45 AM
I have also spread ashes in some of the places that DH loved.  Opening the urn the first time was difficult, after that it was okay.  I have taken a few flights with DH's ashes, on the way to spread his ashes in another location.  I usually giggle going through security as I can't imagine explaining to TSA exactly what it is that I'm carrying - DH would have loved this.  Beautiful picture, thank you for sharing.