Young Widow Forum

Time Frame => Beyond Active Grieving => Topic started by: Toosoon2.0 on November 07, 2017, 11:40:54 AM

Title: I finally did it.
Post by: Toosoon2.0 on November 07, 2017, 11:40:54 AM
I finally did it.  I quit my job.  I'm walking away from tenure, security and a life I have been living since I was 22 (am now 45) when I decided being a professor was what I wanted.  Everything I did was to get me to into the job I've had for the last 15 years.  Its done now though.  I can't believe it took me this long in some ways and I can't believe I had it in me to walk away (no one ever walks away from a job like mine) but I did at six am this morning after a confluence of episodes and sleepless nights that pushed me over the edge.  Maybe I should have done it a long time ago, I don't know, but its done now.  HOLY SHIT, I QUIT MY JOB.  You all will probably be hearing more about this in coming days but right now I am just in a state of shock that I actually had the courage to do it. 
Title: Re: I finally did it.
Post by: CJF on November 07, 2017, 11:57:55 AM
Congratulations!!  I am sure it wasn't easy but from reading your posts, it sounds like it was the right decision for you!!  I admire you for being strong enough to do it!!!
Title: Re: I finally did it.
Post by: jgib on November 07, 2017, 12:43:32 PM
Congratulations, good job, well done!  From what you have said it is truly the right move. 
The future is ahead, eyes forward, let the adventures begin.....
Title: Re: I finally did it.
Post by: Trying on November 07, 2017, 01:26:41 PM
Congratulations!  I know this has been weighing on you a long time, I wish you nothing but the best moving forward.
Title: Re: I finally did it.
Post by: Captains wife on November 07, 2017, 04:30:51 PM
Congrats! Sometimes big changes - although scary at first- are the best changes!
Title: Re: I finally did it.
Post by: tybec on November 07, 2017, 05:40:00 PM
Congratulations!  You can do this! 

My brother, a professor, left his tenured position for a small college that was more tuned to his research and teaching philosophies.  No regrets!

I left my secure job of 19 yrs. with benefits.  Not a state job but state retirement from a long ago agreement.  My other brother told me I was stupid.  One more yr. and I would have had health care for life paid.  I still have my retirement setting and get 75% of my health care paid as long as the state doesn’t belly up.  But I wouldn’t change the last 3 yrs. I have had with my now teen son.  The time was worth it for me. 

Good luck with the freedom!  It will take bit to get used to it.  Life is too short to be miserable. 
Title: Re: I finally did it.
Post by: imissdow on November 11, 2017, 08:20:51 PM
Congrats! Logged in today after weeks off and saw this, found it ironic that my last day at my job was the 9th. I'm having a hard time believing that I finally had the nerve to do it and wondering if my new  job with its promised 20 hours and possibility more is really a good idea.  Oh but the relief, never thought I would change careers at 50.
Title: Re: I finally did it.
Post by: Toosoon2.0 on November 12, 2017, 09:50:03 AM
imissdow!  You did it!  So proud of you.  You know, Scott died and I thought I had to be this fierce feminist Mommy and "do it all, all of the time."  I turned out to be a grumpy, exhausted Mommy who did nothing well and who complained constantly about her job.  That wasn't the ultimate catalyst for my resignation (that is a whole other story) but it sure did become a factor.  If I want to raise a healthy, happy young woman, I need to be one myself (well, maybe not the young part anymore).  I had to take some control.  xoxoxox
Title: Re: I finally did it.
Post by: twin_mom on December 02, 2017, 05:34:38 PM
I read something recently from an older woman's perspective that said something like "we fought for the generations after us to be able to have it all, but we never meant for you to have it all at the same time"... I too walked away from a career and dream position 22 months ago and don't regret it at all. This time of healing and enjoying my kids has been worth it, even though I do miss my career at times and still haven't figured out what I want to be next.
Title: Re: I finally did it.
Post by: Toosoon2.0 on December 09, 2017, 01:51:30 PM
Twin_mom, thank you for your comment.  I should have done this 22 months ago!  But I am a child of the 70s. The messages were conflicted.  I was taught to soldier on no matter what.  I did that but it dod not work.  Its been a month since I resigned.  I love being able to be here for my weird hormonal 5th grader.  She got the short shrift a lot of the time during my husband's illness and after his death and then when I got psycho about moving up the ladder at my job.  I'm glad I can be there for her in these dicey times.  Its astonishing how little I worry about not knowing what's next or how little I miss going to that place I've gone to almost every day for the last 15 years.  Sometimes, I do feel like I was sold a bill of goods.  Be ambitious but not too ambitious.  Be your own person but keep it within some sort of unstated cultural/social norms.  I'm still sorting a lot of that stuff out, trying to make sure I don't pass those mixed messages on to my daughter.