Young Widow Forum

Socializing => Relationships/Remarriage => Topic started by: Sugarbell on December 29, 2017, 11:04:05 PM

Title: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: Sugarbell on December 29, 2017, 11:04:05 PM
Have no proof of course...Saying nothing at all except to NG. But staying quiet because she would love for me to pitch a fit..accuse her (she of course will deny)..then tell people she was wrongly accused.

She knows where my house is and what kind of car. NG was here overnight the night it happened. She’s been off her rocker (sending him and whomever else nasty texts).

In love with this guy...but the baggage..not sure I’m cut out for it. Trying to limit my time with his daughter..she flip flops back and forth (they have joint custody but kids are at her parents house when she has them) NG is running all over the place picking her up from grandparents when her and her Mother have a fight, etc.

Can’t believe I’m 46 years old back in my childhood hometown..-and this nonsense (keying my car is just one example) feels like high school. I’ve been proactive and taken the high road (which infuriated her more she wants drama. But lord this is a test of my will. That’s all.
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: arneal on December 30, 2017, 12:01:52 AM
Oh sugarbell ... {{{{hugs}}}}
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: Needytoo on December 30, 2017, 08:04:54 AM
So sorry she is doing this.  I just don't understand these women.
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: trying2breathe on December 30, 2017, 09:52:41 AM
Oh good grief, so sorry that you're dealing with this.  Crazy ex, indeed.
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: Julester3 on December 30, 2017, 10:43:26 AM
Yuck! I am sorry she is going after you.
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: tybec on December 30, 2017, 11:27:01 AM
Awful! No good answers, either.

 My friend has been with her fiance for 15 years.  When they started dating, his crazy ex slashed his tires.  Fortunately, no one was hurt.  Then she called my friend and told her she and her ex husband (my friend's fiance) were getting back together.  My friend backed out, stating she was unaware and was not going to interfere, but it wasn't true.  It has been years and the ex got better, but the kids are all adults  now.  My friend ignores it mostly.  No more criminal behavior, though.


 >:( :( :o
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: Captains wife on January 02, 2018, 07:00:16 AM
I can only hope it gets better for you...sorry you have to deal with this when you found someone new to love....
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: Sugarbell on January 02, 2018, 08:22:44 AM
Thanks everyone..really never dealt with this before. Dated divorced men (had that 5 year rule..divorced 5 years or more seemed to nip any bitter feelings/drama in the bud. This situation it wouldn’t matter...she’s just crazy.

Truly think she’s bipolar or borderline..doesn’t sleep for days..sends nasty texts all hours of the night..stalks her kids Instagram pages at 3 am. Ignoring her seems to drive her over the edge more...but not going to interact..to me to the outside world she’s non existent.

And that’s driving her nuts. (Which is why she lashed out and keyed my car)

Wish she would get help or just go away.
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: Mizpah on January 02, 2018, 08:59:19 AM
Holy F

That's really all I've got.  Lots of sympathy from another dealing with similar baggage-of-NG's, for more than four years now (for three I've had her blocked).  Still wishing she'd "get help or go away."  Luckily for you and me, we're us and we're not them (the crazies).  Keep being awesome.  xoxo
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: Trying on January 03, 2018, 01:25:44 PM
Just when I think my guys crazy ex is over the top, your stories remind me it can always be worse!  She definitely sounds mentally ill.
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: Sugarbell on January 03, 2018, 06:48:34 PM
It’s just  crazy nuts...planned a few days vacation this summer for just the kids and myself to the beach.  We would love NG to go with us (haven’t mentioned it nor am I️ mentioning it).. but none of us want his daughter going. She’s not mean...but that opens up our vacation/world to her mother..who will call her a dozen times a day..be difficult..try to sabotage it with scheduling. Just don’t want to deal with all of that crap. Also daughter does tell her Mom about my kids or things they do on vacation, etc..and really don’t want my kids lives on display to this crazy bitch. Daughter is innocent about it (she’s sweet but not real bright..like Rather dense at times (she has an IEP-think she’s Fetal Alcohol  Syndrome ..no physical characteristics.looks normal but has learning problems)


Ugh!
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: Mizpah on January 04, 2018, 09:14:23 AM
Yeah, to a certain extent it's like having a spy in the house.  Our summer vacation came with NG's son bringing a film camera he wanted to bring back to his mom's for film developing - taking pretty candid, intimate family photos of us all the entire trip.  And she sent him with a cell phone he used the whole time but wouldn't let NG see (he was SIX).  He was recording us at times.  She also dropped him off hours late, so we got a late start on a really long drive and were sitting around all packed like WTF.  It's hard.  It's just hard. 
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: StillWidowed on January 04, 2018, 02:24:58 PM
I give you guys credit.  I couldn't do it.  I'm at the point now where I'm saying no to men asking me out that have younger children.  The longer I'm on my own (downslope to 10 years) the more I'm enjoying my own time and really getting comfortable in my skin again.  I don't want to deal with all the craziness that goes with divorce and kids.  Of course there's no guarantees in life, and I may have to come back here some day and eat my words, but for now...."I ain't doin' it". 
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: Sugarbell on January 04, 2018, 04:19:35 PM
10 years here last September....this is a first for me!

But always stuck to the “5 year rule..give them time to get back on feet financially, work out child care custody stuff..hopefully ex has moved on/remarried so less drama”.

And it worked...none came with this kind of crap.

Really really care about this guy...he’s really the best character of any man I’ve ever dated. Daughter is 16... so hoping it gets better the older she gets. But crazy ex will never go away. Maybe if she can keep a relationship and find someone with lots of money (she gets them..but can’t keep them because she’s dumb as a rock..and crazy comes out after a month and they bolt)—She needs a sugar daddy who will fly her somewhere far far away and keep her.
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: Sugarbell on January 04, 2018, 04:22:39 PM
Still waiting on another dramatic suicide attempt (She hasn’t pulled that one yet since me..but NG says usually every 2 to 3 years it happens.) -/Hope not offending anyone..SOS here..but this shit is getting old. (And it’s too cold to try to buff the key marks from my car-just very pissed!)
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: StillWidowed on January 05, 2018, 12:40:27 PM
Hang in there Sugarbell.  Here's also hoping some sugar daddy will whisk her far far away.  And if he does, check and see if he has a brother for me.  Thanks!
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: Abitlost on January 06, 2018, 11:33:48 AM
SB,

What you describe sounds like a lot of drama and dysfunction touching you and your kids, despite trying to keep it at a distance. You have always been good at deciding what level of exposure you will tolerate. As we have come to learn, with kids involved, it's a package deal.

abl
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: kjs1989 on January 07, 2018, 12:18:49 PM
Wow, yep. The pain in the ass bitter ex. New Guy has one, too. He had been divorced for six years when we met, but she was still inserting herself into his life on a daily basis, calling him a rotten dad (he's not, believe me) and throwing barbs at me over my widowed status (really?) on a regular basis. I have never engaged her, and have always been stellar with his kids and completely undemanding of his schedule when it comes to his kids so as not to give her any ammo ever.

Something must have finally clicked that it wasn't working, because literally the last contact she made with him was when she lashed out at him for being a lousy dad once again back in September, and he made a rare counter reply that his 15 year old son wanted to spend the whole summer with him to get away from her. He told her to get off her pedestal once and for all.

OUCH! He has usually taken her verbal abuse and just ignored her so as not to fuel the fire. This rare approach seemed to have worked this time, though, as there has been absolute SILENCE on her end since mid September....AND WE LIKE IT!!
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: Sugarbell on January 11, 2018, 08:45:14 PM
SB,

What you describe sounds like a lot of drama and dysfunction touching you and your kids, despite trying to keep it at a distance. You have always been good at deciding what level of exposure you will tolerate. As we have come to learn, with kids involved, it's a package deal.

abl

Yup.

Really..I’m at the point when he has his daughter..I would rather just give them time together. It seems though..it’s usually all 4 kids hanging out together..with her Mother calling every hour and his daughter flip flopping.

Hope this isn’t the beginning of the end...really really like him...but putting up some boundaries as far as my kids. And my kids adore him..but when he has his daughter they aren’t real enthused...And I’m on guard.
Title: Re: Crazy ex keyed my car!
Post by: arneal on January 18, 2018, 09:29:43 AM
{{{hugs}}} Sugarbell. Situations with ex's and kids ... I thought this was tough when I started living with DH. As a widow, it seems I am more sensitive to how what is going on for BF and his children affects me emotionally ...