Young Widow Forum

Young Widow Forum => General Discussion => Topic started by: BrokenHeart2 on December 29, 2017, 11:23:46 PM

Title: Heads up to new members
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on December 29, 2017, 11:23:46 PM
I'm sorry for any new members having to join here because as you well know this is the group nobody ever wants to be in.  Well we're here and we know you don't want to be but we can help believe it or not.
Just a bit of advise as I remember over 4 yrs ago when I joined this predecessor YWBB (since closed down) I remember I couldn't stand to read how others had moved on into new relationships and what was happening with them.
Unfortunately, the most active "sections" of this board seem to be just about that topic. If you don't want to read it, think it or even see it don't click on the "Unread" button in the top left corner. 
Stay focused on where you are today in those sections of this board and venture in to the others if you feel strong enough to see it.  It's not all bad but remember where you are today and that is their journey not yours.
Gentle hugs to all Wids.
May we all find peace and hope in our journey into 2018.
Title: Re: Heads up to new members
Post by: tybec on December 30, 2017, 11:46:13 AM
Ditto what was written by BH2.

Never dreamed to be in the social section.  Took years, and it is still odd. 

Thanks for that, BH2.  I avoided it. Now I don't read the newest time frames. Too painful to go back there....
Title: Re: Heads up to new members
Post by: Toosoon2.0 on December 30, 2017, 05:13:08 PM
Thanks for this post, BH2.  This is a hard time of year.  I'm remarried now to a widower.  It has been far from unicorns and rainbows but we persist because life does go on and we keep figuring it out as we go along. 

I read here and try to post all the time in the new widows and 6 months time frames.  I remember them vividly and comment as much as I can.

It does get better.  Day by day - sometimes hour by hour.  It really does.  My advice always has been and always will be - give yourself time.   It takes time.  Reach out and do not isolate yourself.  Forgive yourself and everyone else so that you don't get into a self-blame/anger dynamic.  Find a counselor or a good friend who you can trust to tell the things that you can't say now in real life.  Tell people in real life how they can help you manage day to day.  Reach out to people on this board; they will be there for you.

You will get there.  I know you will.

With tons of empathy,

Christine
Title: Re: Heads up to new members
Post by: cathyr on December 30, 2017, 11:49:56 PM
Thank you, BH2, for passing on the comfort in knowing that new widows/widowers have a place to land.  I don't know what I would have done without the support of my fellow YWBB widows/ers.  I can also attest that, although life still holds it's challenges after more than ten years, it has become manageable.  I never believed it in the early days, but please have faith that slowly and surely, joy will find you. 
Title: Re: Heads up to new members
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on January 02, 2018, 03:53:58 PM
Thanks Ladies.  I appreciate that you got what I was trying to say.  I didn't want to offend anyone at the same time  :)
Hugs to all of you!!