Young Widow Forum

Socializing => Social Encounters => Topic started by: MissingJoan on March 09, 2015, 06:32:29 AM

Title: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: MissingJoan on March 09, 2015, 06:32:29 AM
Just want to immortalize an iconic thread by an amazing lady, who would love that what she started is still running strong. ;D



[img(http://i62.tinypic.com/zmcqas.jpg)][/img]
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: AC on March 09, 2015, 06:48:55 AM
WOOT. I like it, I love it. I want more of it. Maybe in my future.

Wish I had the opportunity to know k a gill outside just her posts. From what I had the good fortune to read, she was one heck of an amazing woman.

What *I* really need right now is for someone to sweat on me. TMI, TMI.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: mokie on March 09, 2015, 08:20:12 AM
Yay!!  Thank you thank you for preserving Kristin's name along with this thread!!  It makes my heart smile.  And yes, she was a damn fine person, inside and out, on the board and in real life.  She's smiling somewhere right now.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: anniegirl on March 09, 2015, 12:10:48 PM
Thanks, MissingJoan.

I didn't know Kristin but she touched a great many lives through her posting and it's good to see this particular one saved.

I hope everyone knows that this is now theirs to add to now. Take it and make it your own.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: gracelet on March 09, 2015, 12:11:35 PM
I love this thread.

In other news, I appear to have broken my vibrator.  Damn. At least I've got a date tomorrow night so there are options...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: kmouse on March 09, 2015, 12:44:17 PM
This thrills my heart! Kristin was just the bestest person and wid sister; we miss her so much. Knowing that her name will pop up every time this thread is added to is simply awesome...Glenn, you are the MAN!!

Kristin couldn't believe the life this thread took on. She wasn't quite sure if she should be embarrassed or proud...no matter what, though, if it helped a wid, she was a fan.

Kristin, we're raising a cold one to you...thank you for the love, the laughs, and this incredibly and wonderfully naughty thread. We love you dearly now and always.

~kbb3
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: JacklessSally on March 09, 2015, 02:02:20 PM


What *I* really need right now is for someone to sweat on me.
Oh Lawd!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: widowat33 on March 09, 2015, 11:22:45 PM
I wish we could copy and paste all of the posts from that thread,lol..
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: anniegirl on March 10, 2015, 09:27:04 PM
Widowat33, we probably could if we had that kind of time on our hands.

I think there might be someone who is trying to save some of the longer, long standing threads. I will ask and see if they have gems to share.

In the meantime, no one should be shy.

No, wait. There were shy ones.

They would create alias accounts to post their racy stuff ... and not just on this thread.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: widowat33 on March 11, 2015, 01:24:25 AM
Widowat33, we probably could if we had that kind of time on our hands.

I think there might be someone who is trying to save some of the longer, long standing threads. I will ask and see if they have gems to share.

In the meantime, no one should be shy.

No, wait. There were shy ones.

They would create alias accounts to post their racy stuff ... and not just on this thread.

That thread made me smile, laugh, blush and so much more...
People actually created fake profiles to do that? Yeah, I don't think I even got through the whole thread, lots of posts in that one!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: OSAAT on March 11, 2015, 03:47:51 PM
There was another post on the old board called "out from under the covers". There was a reference to the episode on Sex and the City when Charlotte needed a "rabbit intervention". That is all i keep thinking about when I see this thread. It was a great episode btw. LOL.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 13, 2015, 12:43:03 AM
What am I needing? Sex, lots of sex! :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: gracelet on March 13, 2015, 05:44:14 AM
I had another Tinder date this week.  I'm so tempted to booty call her this weekend.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mangomom on March 13, 2015, 06:44:19 AM
Call me old fashioned but I really want to just snuggle down and sleep with a warm body next to me. Legs and arms touching and intertwined a bit.  Or rolling over and spooning back against him.  Slowly waking in the morning because of the sleepy movement beside me.  Of course what would happen before sleep and after waking would certainly count as "real sex, what do I need", but no one here needs those details spelled out. ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Trying on March 13, 2015, 07:01:37 AM
My current relationship may be coming to end but the thought of giving up the sex and intimacy is really difficult.  I'm not a casual sex kinda gal, I need that level of intimacy and connection.  With this guy it's all there.  Eyes locked, looking deep into each other's soul, like there is no one else in the world and no where else either of us would rather be.  Sigh... And the kissing, I could kiss him for hours.  Why do other life obstacles have to get in the way???
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: DonnaP on March 13, 2015, 07:51:35 AM
I remember this thread ... nice to see it resurrected :)

I agree with the last two posts -- snuggling and kissing are two of my favorite things...

That being said, the need for physical intimacy cannot be understated. Since I am remarried (and not going without), I feel a bit sheepish even replying to this thread. But what I WILL say is this -- when I wasn't getting any, I missed it terribly. When good (and I mean REALLY good) hot sex came back into my life, it was like I became a teenager again -- wanting it ALL THE TIME.

I've settled down just a bit, don't worry.

And, to borrow Trying's word, I'm not a casual sex kinda girl either. It has to mean something for me...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mangomom on March 13, 2015, 07:57:56 AM
My current relationship may be coming to end but the thought of giving up the sex and intimacy is really difficult.  I'm not a casual sex kinda gal, I need that level of intimacy and connection.  With this guy it's all there.  Eyes locked, looking deep into each other's soul, like there is no one else in the world and no where else either of us would rather be.  Sigh... And the kissing, I could kiss him for hours.  Why do other life obstacles have to get in the way???
I could have written this a few months ago. ((Hugs))
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: MissinGrizz on March 16, 2015, 03:51:02 PM
I remember this thread ... nice to see it resurrected :)

I agree with the last two posts -- snuggling and kissing are two of my favorite things...

That being said, the need for physical intimacy cannot be understated. Since I am remarried (and not going without), I feel a bit sheepish even replying to this thread. But what I WILL say is this -- when I wasn't getting any, I missed it terribly. When good (and I mean REALLY good) hot sex came back into my life, it was like I became a teenager again -- wanting it ALL THE TIME.

I've settled down just a bit, don't worry.

And, to borrow Trying's word, I'm not a casual sex kinda girl either. It has to mean something for me...

This. Except the settling down part. I had almost three years without. Once I opened that floodgate with my current husband, it didn't close. 2.5 years later I'm still not caught up. The 40's are an amazing time for this.

And, for the record, I opened this thread because I thought it was a misspelling of kegels lol
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Lmsmdm on March 16, 2015, 06:44:20 PM


No, wait. There were shy ones.

They would create alias accounts to post their racy stuff ... and not just on this thread.

lololol snort ha ha ha....I remember
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Trying on March 16, 2015, 09:20:57 PM
The 40's are an amazing time!  Glad to know I'm not the only one who can't seem to get enough.  It's like being a teenager except now I know so much more and have way more confidence.  Not to mention that a 45 year old man is much more giving than an 18 year old!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: lcoxwell on March 16, 2015, 09:54:55 PM
The 40's are an amazing time!  Glad to know I'm not the only one who can't seem to get enough.  It's like being a teenager except now I know so much more and have way more confidence.  Not to mention that a 45 year old man is much more giving than an 18 year old!

This is so true! New Guy and I are still waiting on sex, but we spend HOURS at a time, just making out, and we often joke that we are worse than teenagers.  Hands down, I would choose a real, grown up man in his 40s (even one who doesn't have the perfect body or the most attractive face) over any hot, young man in his 20s or early 30s any day of the week.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Lmsmdm on March 16, 2015, 10:05:06 PM
The 40's are an amazing time!  Glad to know I'm not the only one who can't seem to get enough.  It's like being a teenager except now I know so much more and have way more confidence.  Not to mention that a 45 year old man is much more giving than an 18 year old!

OMG Right?!!! Love not being afraid to say "This is what I want :)" makes a world of difference  :)
I will take the deeper lines in my face, and things drifting south for that score  ;D
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on March 16, 2015, 10:24:51 PM
Touch. That's what I need. Skin on skin. Somebody to hold me while I listen to their heartbeat. I wouldn't turn down more, but I'd be happy with this.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: widowat33 on March 17, 2015, 12:23:19 AM
I miss it all...
The cuddling, intimacy, holding each other, and of course the sex...


Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Sugarbell on March 17, 2015, 07:28:00 AM
The 40's are an amazing time!  Glad to know I'm not the only one who can't seem to get enough.  It's like being a teenager except now I know so much more and have way more confidence.  Not to mention that a 45 year old man is much more giving than an 18 year old!

I ditto this.

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: JacklessSally on March 17, 2015, 07:40:56 AM
Touch. That's what I need. Skin on skin. Somebody to hold me while I listen to their heartbeat. I wouldn't turn down more, but I'd be happy with this.

Skin on skin contact, and heart beat... I'd be happy too if their was a little chest hair for me to mess with. I don't think I'm really ready for much more than half naked cuddling.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: November on March 17, 2015, 01:29:28 PM
Touch. That's what I need. Skin on skin. Somebody to hold me while I listen to their heartbeat. I wouldn't turn down more, but I'd be happy with this.

I don't think I'm really ready for much more than half naked cuddling.

I ditto this
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: gracelet on March 20, 2015, 05:45:38 AM
I need hot sex with someone who wants me so much that they don't give a toss if I've shaved my legs or not.  Who desires me regardless of what greying underwear I'm wearing. Who actively WANTS to get to know my body, not just have a quick fuck.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Momtojandj on March 20, 2015, 02:36:50 PM
My bf (hate that term lol) might think I'm crazy, not having sex for awhile , I was like a caged animal getting let out the first time we had sex. I still haven't caught up yet 😜. That and I'm more secure and adventurous ..I think I like my fourties lol
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Trying on March 20, 2015, 02:55:47 PM
Momtojandj, the 40's definitely rock! Someone should do a study on the effect of being widowed in the prime of life on a woman's sex drive.

Does it effect widowers the same way?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: gretchen437 on March 21, 2015, 06:12:07 PM
I think I am in desperate need of some action. I haven't started dating because between school, kids, work, and bar prep I just haven't had the time. it is starting to seriously affect my dreams though. I had the most wonderful (and graphic) dream about a lovely woman last night.  ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on April 01, 2015, 01:01:30 PM
Casual sex isn't as awful, awkward, or empty as I thought it would be. Maybe I'm more at ease because he's a friend.  It's exactly what I need at the moment. I'm not ready to give myself completely to someone else.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Carey on April 02, 2015, 07:29:12 AM
Virgo, I'm doing the same thing myself.  It's a wonderful release and for that little bit of time, I feel better. There's a lot to be said about the release of endorphins I guess, lol.  I'm not ready for anything more either and we're just perfect the way we are. He's my best friend.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: gracelet on April 04, 2015, 03:52:32 PM
I need action again. It's only been a week but the more I have, the more I want. Just give me another orgasm already.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on April 04, 2015, 06:18:22 PM
I was thinking today too that I wish our schedules were more open. :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: tmwenger on April 09, 2015, 05:05:38 PM
Man I think about this a lot. I am not a sexual goddess but my husband and I just worked. He always said i was like a video game that he just got. He knew he could get me going so easily and we enjoyed sex....a lot.  I  hope I find someone who can make me feel this way again. Someone who can just make me hot and feel good, really, really good.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on April 12, 2015, 01:08:12 AM
tmwenger, I think that makes things even more difficult for us. Our spouses knew exactly what we enjoyed. Now we're back to the awkward beginning phase.

Things with my friend need to progress a bit or I'm going to lose interest. :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: gracelet on April 22, 2015, 09:29:43 AM
sexsexsexsexsexsex.  I just want really close, bodies touching, romping til exhausted sex.  Is that too much to ask?  Apparently so.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: look2thesky on April 22, 2015, 12:36:57 PM
I was used to sex on a whim.
2, 3, 7 times a day.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on April 22, 2015, 01:22:53 PM
I just want to turn it off and not think about it anymore. It hurts too much. :(
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: gracelet on April 23, 2015, 06:33:53 PM
Well, here's a laugh for you. My work will no longer allow me to access my blog from the office.

It is now being flagged as "pornographic". Who'd have thought a grief blog would be pornographic?!?! Well, turns out mine is, apparently.  But there's not even any naked pictures - just me complaining about lack of sex and talking about grief shit.

Also, it appears that I swear a shit load more than your average person, hence it being blocked by work 😳
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: marian1953 on April 24, 2015, 10:37:19 AM
Well, fuck me side-wise, Grace. That's a laugh!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: look2thesky on April 24, 2015, 12:43:15 PM
Is that not side..
Ways ?
; )
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Sugarbell on April 24, 2015, 01:12:35 PM
I just want to turn it off and not think about it anymore. It hurts too much. :(

Have you tried meditation? Even simple mindfulness meditation ??

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on April 24, 2015, 03:40:33 PM
Have you tried meditation? Even simple mindfulness meditation ??


Yes... I used to practice regularly, but I've lost the knack. I can't make my brain be still, it's like a hamster on crack. I can't even regulate my breathing anymore, and at one time I was pretty good at that. It's not even actual sex I'm wanting right now, it's more that I'm terrified that I'll never have sex again. No one will ever want me. I shouldn't admit that, I guess, but if I can't be candid in this thread, where can I? I'm 40 years old. My husband died; my libido didn't. I mean I am seriously, deeply afraid that I'm never going to be touched again. The idea that I might have to spend another 40 years celibate-- never any sex at all, let alone the kind I want-- is nearly as devastating to me as the fact of Jim's death. That probably makes me a terrible, jacked up person in need of professional help, but-- fuck it, I have to wear the mask everywhere else, I may as well lay it all out here. Hope no one will hold it against me. And if they do, well, I'm sorry. It's just where I am.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: look2thesky on April 24, 2015, 05:57:57 PM
I think I too had some fear or concern of this.
Shit now I have the risk of living alone permanently, again. I filled some years with keeping as busy as I could, not to think about or face it. And then the ridiculous dating sites. Not a good few years. I settled. Wasn't happy. So I broke off all commitments and just figure when the time may be right, fate will kick in. That's how I met my Wife. And I can't force someone else, to want to start a new life with me. You look very attractive, at least from the avatar thing. I'm sure You will have many opportunities.
Wait. Just a while. You'll see, and mark it on the calendar. Great things eventually do happen, when we least expect. I guess we have to be ready, and open to it.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on April 24, 2015, 07:53:19 PM
I'll just say that I'm frustrated from lack of activity. :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jess on April 24, 2015, 08:10:55 PM
I'm 40 years old. My husband died; my libido didn't. I mean I am seriously, deeply afraid that I'm never going to be touched again. The idea that I might have to spend another 40 years celibate-- never anything at all, let alone the kind I want-- is nearly as devastating to me as the fact of Jim's death. That probably makes me a terrible, jacked up person in need of professional help, but-- fuck it, I have to wear the mask everywhere else, I may as well lay it all out here. Hope no one will hold it against me. And if they do, well, I'm sorry. It's just where I am.

Nope, it doesn't make you messed up at all. We mourn our spouses but also who we were with them, and part of that was that we were sexual partners. Of course losing that is devastating! This does not make you a bad person or crazy, it makes you honest, which I appreciate.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on April 24, 2015, 09:44:44 PM
I came back here planning to delete my post... I'm slightly mortified to have admitted it, but it really is my greatest fear right now. I know how ridiculous that sounds. Look2thesky, thank you for the vote of confidence... I never got the "Oh, you'll find someone/get married again" comment, which makes me think anyone who knows me has already mentally consigned me to the convent. :( Jess, I appreciate the validation-- I was afraid I would sound really petty and messed up: "Her husband died, and all she's worried about is whether she'll ever get laid again!" Well, it's true-- it's not all I worry about, but it's a big chunk of it. And it's not just about sex-- it's about everything around the sex. Companionship. Connection. My heart still works too. I feel slightly foolish hoping lightning will strike again, but at the same time I can't not hope for it.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: look2thesky on April 24, 2015, 11:19:26 PM
 There's nothing that you should have to hold back about.
I think everyone here has common thoughts.
And I agree it's a huge part of personal happiness.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: widowat33 on April 25, 2015, 12:18:48 AM
((Just Jen))
Trust me, you are not the only one worried about that!
I do get the "you're young you will find someone else" comments, but only because I'm young, I truly don't think it has anything to do with people believing that I am that great of a prize that I will have men beating down my door,lol. Maybe no one has made that comment for the mere reason that the people in your life know that it's not exactly the most sensitive comment to make to someone who has lost their spouse, because honestly it isn't something that I enjoyed hearing.
I also worry that I will be alone the rest of my life. I live in a small community where all the single men are either: old enough to be my grandpa ( nothing against older men, but...), young enough to be my child ( not quite, but close), or single for a reason (meaning, not exactly relationship material)! Honestly at this point I am too busy, too tired and just not ready for any kind of relationship with another man. I'm working on finding myself, discovering who I am now that my 'other half' has been taken from me, and taking care of my own happiness...but I still worry that when the time is right for me, I won't be able to find someone. And around here if you do have a casual fling, everyone knows about it by the next day, so for my own reputation and for my kids sake even that is not possible!
The thing is once you've loved and been loved, it's very hard to lose that and think that you will never find that again!
I know this is a sex thread and I've kind of went off topic, but yeah part of a relationship is obviously the sex, which in my opinion or at least in my relationship was a very important part.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: IronBear on April 25, 2015, 05:16:01 AM
Lately, just the sound of a female voice makes me hard.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Carey on April 27, 2015, 02:02:08 PM
I get a LOT of sex. Which is strange. WAY more than when I was married (OMG this feels TMI). He's a fwb and I know it's not going to end happily ever after. And I'm afraid that spending all my time with him and getting IRRITATED when others ask me out is stunting me and keeping me from looking for someone I can actually be with.  I feel safe and can ask for anything sexually and get it, and feel pretty free giving too and "starting over" with someone else feels like it'd push me over the edge to insanity.  If you gotta ruin your own life I guess it's easier if it feels good lol
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on April 27, 2015, 05:37:02 PM
Carey- I agree that being in a fwb situation makes it less likely that you will start looking for someone interested in a relationship. BUT, maybe you're not ready for a relationship yet.

My fwb situation is on a break for now. It was good for the short time it lasted, but it changed for me. I'm not saying I wouldn't consider another fwb situation, but more than likely not with him. I'm leaning more toward dating, but just a little scared to take that first step.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: look2thesky on April 27, 2015, 08:10:48 PM
FWB seems to end weird. Not saying it doesn't satisfy an urge but someone always seems to want more or get hurt.
Oh well back to the drawing board.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: DonnaP on April 28, 2015, 01:36:05 PM
I shouldn't admit that, I guess, but if I can't be candid in this thread, where can I? I'm 40 years old. My husband died; my libido didn't. I mean I am seriously, deeply afraid that I'm never going to be touched again. The idea that I might have to spend another 40 years celibate-- never any sex at all, let alone the kind I want-- is nearly as devastating to me as the fact of Jim's death. That probably makes me a terrible, jacked up person in need of professional help, but-- fuck it, I have to wear the mask everywhere else, I may as well lay it all out here. Hope no one will hold it against me. And if they do, well, I'm sorry. It's just where I am.

No need to apologize for your feelings. We are all human. I was in my later forties when my husband (50) died. I had many of the same thoughts. Who could I possibly find who'd want me (an aging, wrinkled, past-her-prime mother of two...). But guess what? Lightning DID strike again for me. And it can for you too, so long as you are open to that idea. Good luck. And may the force be with you ...
HUGS,
Donna
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: IronBear on April 28, 2015, 01:49:47 PM
I am a huge fan of FWB.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mac on April 29, 2015, 03:44:18 PM
The 40's are an amazing time!  Glad to know I'm not the only one who can't seem to get enough.  It's like being a teenager except now I know so much more and have way more confidence.  Not to mention that a 45 year old man is much more giving than an 18 year old!

The 50's are pretty amazing too! Grateful for that! I'm guessing that FWB wouldn't be a good choice for me.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on May 04, 2015, 07:53:11 PM
I would just really like to be held. Rest my head on a guy's chest and be swallowed up in his arms.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: CBB on May 12, 2015, 04:55:22 PM
Ditto , ditto and more ditto..Scared to death to even try . 50 is lurking and I am freaking out! The websites really scare me and from what I have seen , I may have to join a convent :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on May 17, 2015, 01:51:07 PM
According to my dreams lately...I need sex. lol
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: gracelet on May 19, 2015, 05:20:36 PM
This thread has been so tame compared to the YWBB equivalent...

Describe those dreams!!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on May 20, 2015, 07:59:56 AM
I couldn't sleep last night because I couldn't stop thinking about... stuff. Sorry, Grace, I'm at work and can't go into detail, but... it was vivid. :( Cold shower, anyone?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jess on May 20, 2015, 06:04:55 PM
Just wondering if Jen is home from work yet... ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: MissingSquish on May 21, 2015, 09:05:12 PM
I need an amazing bear hug and naked cuddle with Squish, wrapping his body around mine and making me feel safe.   

And then it needs to stop after a few minutes because both of our shoulders are going numb.

Actually I also miss the way he used to brush and braid my hair. Sent tingles down my spine.  Or a goodnight kiss and to let me fall asleep alone but when I'd wake up in the middle of the night, he was there, sleeping next to me.

I guess this isn't about sex much at all. Just missing him tonight.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: singinmomo4 on May 22, 2015, 06:18:06 AM
I guess this isn't about sex much at all. Just missing him tonight.

I hear ya MS.  I know not the hugs you want, but (((((HUGS)))))
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: MissingSquish on May 22, 2015, 04:01:01 PM
Thanks M. Sending a hug back your way too :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: lcoxwell on May 22, 2015, 05:53:28 PM
Okay, I have spent the last three days in bed, feeling tingly all over, and being poked and prodded, and there was not a bit of sex to be had in any of it. If it weren't for the fact that half my body is numb, I could use a really good, old fashioned roll in the hay, if for no other reason than to make sure all my parts still work.   ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Baylee627 on May 22, 2015, 06:25:27 PM
I could use a really good, old fashioned roll in the hay, if for no other reason than to make sure all my parts still work.   ;)

Heard that;)

Baylee
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on May 23, 2015, 09:04:39 AM
Just wondering if Jen is home from work yet... ;)

Back at work today, still trying to crush every erotic thought that occurs to me. It won't. Go. Away. I've considered doing something completely irresponsible and looking for a hook up on Craig's List or something, but I'm too scared. I don't know how to deal with this. What will win out, fear or sex? This desperation terrifies me. I hate feeling out of control, but I need-- something. I can't get it. I'm so tired, I wish I could just turn my brain off. :(
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on May 23, 2015, 08:15:13 PM
Do you know anyone that would be up for a FWB situation Jen? That way it would be someone you know and a safe. It's hard. I feel the same way. I started a FWB situation, but we didn't get very far (no intercourse.) It just didn't feel right.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: swilson on May 23, 2015, 08:25:23 PM
Sorry ladies, I'm feeling really mischievous tonight;

http://www.magicmikemovie.com/

That should add fuel to the smoldering embers  :-*
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: lcoxwell on May 23, 2015, 08:30:50 PM
Swilson, you are such a hoot!  ;D
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on May 23, 2015, 09:40:46 PM
Joe is mine ladies. :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: lcoxwell on May 23, 2015, 09:50:09 PM
Virgo, I will gladly relinquish Joe to you. I don't need a man, who is better looking than I am. I just need an average, normal man, with working parts and a desire to make me feel really good.  ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on May 24, 2015, 06:33:01 PM
Do you know anyone that would be up for a FWB situation Jen? That way it would be someone you know and a safe.

Not a soul, sigh. I've never had a lot of friends, and even fewer male ones. Just have to learn to accept life as a celibate, I guess. It sucks. :(
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Trying on May 24, 2015, 07:24:11 PM
You don't have to accept anything!  This is your life to make of it what you want.  Join an online dating site and start with some coffee dates.  You need to realize that you are still a woman who not only has desires but is desirable!  If you keep telling yourself you will be celibate the rest of your life then you will be.  You are intelligent and witty and caring.  This isn't just about sex, if that's all you want you can get it easy.  It's about connecting to another person on a level that makes you want to be vulnerable and intimate.  Whether that's for 1 night, 1 month, 1 year or forever isn't the point.  You need to tell yourself that you deserve to feel and experience that level of connection again and that the right guy would be damn lucky to have you! 
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on May 25, 2015, 09:23:08 PM
You don't have to accept anything! ...You need to tell yourself that you deserve to feel and experience that level of connection again and that the right guy would be damn lucky to have you!

I cried when I read this-- grateful tears. Thank you for saying this. I needed to hear it from the outside, so to speak-- I don't have the internal resources to say it to myself and believe it. Maybe that will change...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: gracelet on June 02, 2015, 10:45:08 AM
Bollocks.  It's that time of the month again where i get reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally sexually frustrated.  Girl I like went awol after we had sex and I told her about DW (not simultaneously obvs).  Then she re-engaged via text.  Then she went awol.  And I actually liked her :-(.  It was going somewhere.  Then nada despite me not being all desperate.  Don't get it.  Even sex would have done..!

Today I tallied up my 'conquests'. Yikes.  I shouldn't really be adding another one night stand to the list but part of me is just thinking, fuck it I'm 29.  Also, a drunk one night stand is a FAR more sensible option than Boy Widower with whom I'm spending the weekend in a hotel (with friends). Must. Not. Go. There.

Ugh.  I'm allowed to play the field, but I'm not comfortable with that (when sober).  I want someone who will actually get to know my body.

To Tinder or not to Tinder.  That is the question.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on June 09, 2015, 01:45:12 AM


Ugh.  I'm allowed to play the field, but I'm not comfortable with that (when sober).  I want someone who will actually get to know my body.



You answered your own question right here. It's hard not to just give into temptation, the easy fix, but we know it's just a temporary way to fill a void. I guess it depends on how awful you feel about it afterwards. What do you really want? I have this mental battle myself. I have can think of two men that are more than willing to temporarily fill that void for me, but I just can't. I'm not saying I won't, but I haven't yet. I just think afterwards I would feel even lonelier.

I'm to the point where masturbating isn't even satisfying. At least not mentally. It just makes me want sex even more, and reminds me of the love and affection I lost. It's hard going from having sex 5-10 times a week to none at all. Not even just the sex, but being touched multiple times every day.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on June 09, 2015, 12:33:14 PM
Not even just the sex, but being touched multiple times every day.

In some ways that's the worst part of this whole wid gig. No one touches me anymore-- well, my 9-year-old hugs me sometimes. I feel so disconnected, like there's an invisible force field between me and the world. No hand to hold, no one to snuggle next to at night. For the first time in my life I feel cold all the time-- it's 90F out there, and I'm wishing I had a jacket. Very bizarre, but I think it's a symptom of the physical and emotional isolation. On the rare occasion when someone does touch me-- a coworker pats my back, or the barista brushes my hand when giving me my coffee-- I swear it feels like I've been burned. I can feel it for hours afterward.

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: RobFTC on June 09, 2015, 04:10:09 PM
Just a couple of hours of cuddling, that's all I want right now.  My hands might wander.

Take care,
Rob T
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: singinmomo4 on June 09, 2015, 08:14:39 PM
Just Jen, I don't remember how far out I was, probably 2 years, I got my first ever mani-pedi.  Mind you, I'm about as low maintenance as they come.  Getting manicures is senseless since I don't have nails and pedi's? Well, I've just never paid much attention to them.  So, wids on the board were always talking about how great pedicures were so I decided to get one when I saw a groupon for a good deal on a mani-pedi. 

So I go in to get this done and yes, the pedi was really nice, but it was the manicure, and the person doing mine was a man and when he was massaging  my hands, it really took all my strength not to cry.  The feel of a man stroking my hands and wrists, I just wasn't prepared for how it would feel.  I managed to keep my composure but afterwards I cried like a baby. 
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Captains wife on June 10, 2015, 07:24:24 AM
At about a year out, before I started dating I would treat myself to a spa massage on a relatively regular basis - and always request a man as my masseuse. Honestly, it was so nice to be touched again - even if I had to pay for it lol.

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on June 13, 2015, 03:48:09 PM
I think a massage, or even a manicure, would send me into a complete meltdown. I've got a lump in my throat just thinking about it. I miss physical contact so. Freaking. MUCH. I feel like some kind of degenerate, but it preys on my mind-- will anyone ever touch me again?? What will I do if the answer is NO??!?

I wasn't ready to lose my sexuality at 39 years of age. I hate this. I just want-- Oh, I can't even. I hate this. :(
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on June 13, 2015, 05:15:50 PM
I'm 39 too Jen, 40 in August. To young to be celibate.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on June 13, 2015, 05:24:36 PM
Absolutely too young. It's not freaking fair. :(
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on July 05, 2015, 10:57:27 PM
I need to be ..... touched, kissed, caressed, held, stroked, kissed, fondled, nuzzled,  kissed, licked,  pressed up against, kissed, & desired, by a man who wants me as much as I want him..........

Sigh.......
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Trying on July 06, 2015, 06:29:19 AM
Women who complain about not wanting sex with their husbands make me crazy now.  My desire and need for that physical intimacy since losing DH is so incredibly strong.  My appreciation of intimacy and the intensity that I feel the connection on so many levels is unlike anything I ever felt before.  There is no more distractedly running through tomorrow's"to do" list or wishing he would just finish up already, I am completely in the moment, I hold nothing back, and kissing, I forgot how incredible kissing can be and could do it for hours now.

Momtokam keep looking, when you find that man you will be the best thing to ever happen to him.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on July 06, 2015, 03:26:13 PM
I need to be ..... touched, kissed, caressed, held, stroked, kissed, fondled, nuzzled,  kissed, licked,  pressed up against, kissed, & desired, by a man who wants me as much as I want him..........

Sigh.......

Yes, please. :(

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: lcoxwell on July 06, 2015, 10:15:50 PM
I have been getting the kissing, just no sex. In fact, I was just thinking the other day that it has been so long, since I have had any kind of sex, that I actually do not remember what it feels like. One day, I am sure I will greatly appreciate the fact that New Guy and I are sticking to our morals and not having sex outside of marriage; however, there are times, like tonight, when I dearly wish that man was a tad more like my Kenneth and would just take my clothes off and whisk me away to bed, married or not.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Rayspumpkin on July 07, 2015, 12:58:44 AM
Not even just the sex, but being touched multiple times every day.

In some ways that's the worst part of this whole wid gig. No one touches me anymore-- well, my 9-year-old hugs me sometimes. I feel so disconnected, like there's an invisible force field between me and the world. No hand to hold, no one to snuggle next to at night. For the first time in my life I feel cold all the time-- it's 90F out there, and I'm wishing I had a jacket. Very bizarre, but I think it's a symptom of the physical and emotional isolation. On the rare occasion when someone does touch me-- a coworker pats my back, or the barista brushes my hand when giving me my coffee-- I swear it feels like I've been burned. I can feel it for hours afterward.

Hi, I think we are the same person...used to in the dead of winter I was in shorts & a tank...now it's 89 outside & I'm debating if I need a hoodie. For the love of pete...someone just hug me already...not a quick good bye hug, a wrap your your arms around me, hold me and let me breathe in the scent of you...but wait...don't; I might rape you. Great sex is not so easy to find in a small town where I know everyone else you've slept with Mister Playa...no thanks...keep walking...but you can hug me first.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on July 11, 2015, 10:39:39 PM
Right now I want someone to show me that I'm not as dead as I feel-- to wake up all those nerve endings that now seem to have gone on permanent vacation. I've been told I'm passionate-- I want somebody to help me prove that's still true. I'd make it worth their while, I think. Unless I really am the zombie I seem to be now. :(
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on July 12, 2015, 12:45:46 AM
((hugs)) Jen

My feelings right now...I'm over it!  It just seems so overwhelming and to complicated. I'm sure I'll change my mind in a few days, but this is how I feel.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mel4072 on July 12, 2015, 09:05:52 AM
Icoxwell, yesterday, my fianc? said he thought about just picking me up and taking me in the bedroom and just taking me. Crap that was sexy! Of course, we just stared at each other silently but I can't begin to describe how turned on I was when he said that. Lol!
Late husband never would have done that. He never picked me up. Fianc? does pick me up for hugs and sometimes just to hold me.
Time for a cold shower.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on July 25, 2015, 03:45:01 AM
Just in conversation someone I know mentioned they have not had sex since 2006. 9 years!!! She's divorced, not widowed. I just can't get that number out of my mind. 9 years!!!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: klim on July 27, 2015, 08:42:29 AM
ok  so last night apparently i needed some sex. Went the self satisfaction route. Thankyou BOB!

But you know what....I pulled a muscle in my back.......how the hell does that happen!!

So not only did I not have the satisfaction of real sex but I  have a reminder of it haunting me today and maybe tomorrow! :(
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: SunshineFL on July 27, 2015, 11:08:42 AM
ok  so last night apparently i needed some sex. Went the self satisfaction route. Thankyou BOB!

But you know what....I pulled a muscle in my back.......how the hell does that happen!!

So not only did I not have the satisfaction of real sex but I  have a reminder of it haunting me today and maybe tomorrow! :(

Oh, Klim - I'm so, so sorry your back is sore today, but is it wrong of me to thank you for the laugh? What an image you painted. Instead of "BOB" ... remember "RICE."
Feel better.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: gracelet on July 29, 2015, 10:38:19 AM
You poor thing.  At least we're not men with permanently sore wrists.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Bear1956 on July 29, 2015, 02:11:54 PM
Right now I want someone to show me that I'm not as dead as I feel-- to wake up all those nerve endings that now seem to have gone on permanent vacation. I've been told I'm passionate-- I want somebody to help me prove that's still true. I'd make it worth their while, I think. Unless I really am the zombie I seem to be now. :(

Yep .. that is how I felt. It was like seven years for me. I was ready for a few years but never made it happen. Sex is good.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on July 30, 2015, 05:16:45 PM
Just in conversation someone I know mentioned they have not had sex since 2006. 9 years!!! She's divorced, not widowed. I just can't get that number out of my mind. 9 years!!!

It was like seven years for me. I was ready for a few years but never made it happen. Sex is good.

Seven years. Nine. AIGH!!!!!

My parents got divorced in 1991. That was IT for my mother. She's been a nun ever since.

I can't stand it. Please shoot me. Or teach me how to stop caring. My body has more or less shut everything down, but my brain persists in conjuring up vivid images that absolutely kill me. :(
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on July 30, 2015, 08:13:32 PM
I feel the same way Jen! Phil and I were a 5-10 times a week couple. We rarely went more than 3 days without. Going from that to nothing is awful. :(  I've had two FWB offers, but so far I've refrained. I'm not sure if I'm just not ready, or if I'm holding out for something more. Phil was my one and only.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on August 02, 2015, 05:15:15 PM
I feel the same way Jen! Phil and I were a 5-10 times a week couple. We rarely went more than 3 days without. Going from that to nothing is awful.

I'm so sorry. (((Hugs)))

At the risk of inflicting serious TMI on y'all... I've never felt, um, satisfied with my sex life, even when I had one. My drive was always higher than either of my husbands'-- xh used it as a weapon to leverage power in what turned out to be a really twisted relationship (he would withhold until he got his way about whatever, and pathetic fool that I was, I put up with it for way too long). Jim's spirit was willing but he had physical limitations-- I mostly just learned to live with being frustrated. Of course, I only thought I was frustrated then...  :-\

I'm at a loss here-- for real. I am genuinely concerned that I will never have sex again, and that is a serious issue. Like-- possibly requiring therapy to cope with it. Maybe I'm blowing it way out of proportion, but right now it feels like the end of the f***ing world, if you'll pardon the halfhearted pun.

Just had to vent. Thanks.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on August 02, 2015, 09:58:06 PM
I know it's frustrating and difficult not to wonder when it will happen for us, but it will. Even if it's not a lasting relationship.  Mr.Right Now instead of Mr.Right.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: gracelet on August 03, 2015, 06:04:33 AM
I had sex last night with a girl after the 3rd date (yes, I'm a bit of a player).  Is she Future Wife?  Don't think so.  It continues to amaze me that other people would want me despite my full disclosure of my widowhood, but people do!  The time will come for you all if you want it.  In the mean time, don't let yourselves go - Mr Right, or Mr Right Now will find his way into your life.  I have to say that going to the gym has given me way more confidence that I ever used to have in bed.  And I make sure I shave my legs.  I do it for ME, not anyone else.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: twistedmensa on August 03, 2015, 11:35:03 PM
Just in conversation someone I know mentioned they have not had sex since 2006. 9 years!!! She's divorced, not widowed. I just can't get that number out of my mind. 9 years!!!

This struck a chord with me. It has been 9 years for me as well. My husband was on so many meds for PTSD that it simply wasn't physically possible and he was ashamed to the point of not wanting ANY form of sex. Thankfully, our bond was strong enough to survive this, but he has been gone nearly a year and a half now and I am nothing if not horny.

Sadly (or not), I'm not really wired for a one nighter and I certainly don't feel ready for a relationship so I'm trapped in this hideous limbo of desperately wanting/needing intimacy, but not really being in a position to deal with the emotions that come along with it.

I hate this shit.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on August 24, 2015, 09:11:05 PM
I'm not ruling out a one night stand, but I don't think I'm wired for it either. Some days, like today, I could be easily tempted. I have two friends that have already expressed their willingness to fullfill that need for me. I hate this shit too.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on August 26, 2015, 09:59:05 PM
Make that three for hating this shit. :(  I wish I could turn my damned brain off. Or else I wish... no, better not, that's pretty X-rated, even for this thread. Lol.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on September 29, 2015, 02:04:15 PM
Must be having a hormone spike... right now, I desperately want someone to jump me. :-\
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on October 03, 2015, 02:51:38 PM
Must be having a hormone spike... right now, I desperately want someone to jump me. :-\

Yup!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on October 03, 2015, 06:16:15 PM
Things are getting desperate. I was at the grocery store this afternoon, and I was seized by the insane desire to climb up on a table in the produce department and yell, "SOMEONE PLEASE JUST SHAG ME ALREADY!!!!!!!!!"

Ugh. Ugh...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on October 03, 2015, 10:49:25 PM
Haha wow Jen lol. I've been looking at guys opening the door for me and whatnot thinking  ' oh yeah' lol!  Table in the produce, oh girl hugs to you :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on October 14, 2015, 02:55:11 PM
Skin-on-skin contact while I listen to a heartbeat. That's all. It doesn't have to go any further (though I doubt I'd say no). Somebody, please, just cuddle me. Please??? :(
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on October 19, 2015, 12:11:51 PM
Can a person go insane from sex deprivation? :(
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on October 19, 2015, 10:13:38 PM
If I'm anything to go by, then, yes. :(

Out of the mouths of babes:

I'm an inveterate ice chewer. I love ice, crave ice, crunch ice all day long. I've done it for years-- I had tapered off considerably, then ramped up again over the past few months. Yesterday, my ten-year-old son looked up from his tablet and told my mother, "I figured out why Mum chews ice. It's a sign of being sexually frustrated."

 :o :o :o :o :o :o

There has GOT to be a solution... right? Please??
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on October 20, 2015, 08:02:00 AM
The solution would be to have sex. ;) Not that simple though.

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on October 20, 2015, 09:13:30 PM
Lol, yeah... easier said than done, unfortunately. :(

Crawling back into bed to cry now... I'm so sick of this shit. I need to go visit the "fuck you" thread. :-\
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: lcoxwell on October 26, 2015, 09:04:51 PM
Given that my Kenneth could not have sex for a very long time, before he died, it has now been so long since I had real, actual sex, that I cannot even remember when the last time was. What I need is one really good, mind-numbing, knee-quivering, toe-curling orgasm. For that matter, it's been so long that even one good, old-fashioned, roll in the hay without said orgasm would be good, too. Heck, I would simply just like to "get nekkid" with a man (as my Kenneth would have said).

My mother would be appalled that I just said that, if she knew. On the other hand, if Kenneth were able to read it, he would get one really good laugh out of this.  ;D
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: jlp on October 27, 2015, 06:10:10 PM
So, are there really such things as "gigolos"?  Only in Vegas, I'm sure.  Hmmm.  Maybe a Bago for us ladies?  Or maybe I should just up my antidepressant...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Meema on October 27, 2015, 07:32:09 PM
There actually are gigolos in Vegas. I researched it. Online, not in person.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: luvmy2babies on October 28, 2015, 03:28:59 PM
If I'm anything to go by, then, yes. :(

Out of the mouths of babes:

I'm an inveterate ice chewer. I love ice, crave ice, crunch ice all day long. I've done it for years-- I had tapered off considerably, then ramped up again over the past few months. Yesterday, my ten-year-old son looked up from his tablet and told my mother, "I figured out why Mum chews ice. It's a sign of being sexually frustrated."

 :o :o :o :o :o :o

There has GOT to be a solution... right? Please??

YIKES!  I've always been told I do that because I'm anemic.  I've read that too actually and when I'm good about taking my extra iron (not always) the craving (for ice) does lessen.

Not to say that the other isn't true for me at times.  I want to be loved from the inside out in every way at this point.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TalksToAngels on November 04, 2015, 07:39:11 PM
I peel beer bottle labels.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: RobFTC on November 05, 2015, 08:02:26 AM
I think if all the other things get im the way, all the sex in the world won't replace the feeling of partnership...

Perhaps not, but I am hoping to put this theory through clinical trials just to be sure :-)

Take care,
Rob T
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TalksToAngels on November 05, 2015, 11:21:19 AM
Rob you should try Hookup. com
; )
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on November 08, 2015, 07:21:54 AM
I want to be loved from the inside out in every way at this point.

Yes, please. Please?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on November 24, 2015, 11:12:59 AM
I'm thinking I'll just grab a random guy at the grocery store today. Lol
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on November 24, 2015, 11:29:38 AM
I just had a new fridge delivered, and the delivery guys actually flirted with me. I was sort of shocked-- I don't think I'd myself as flirtable! One of them told me I was pretty and asked for my number... and I considered giving it to him. It was almost like a setup for a porn flick... too bad the kids are our of school for the holiday.  ;)

Did I really say that?  :o :o :o
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: serpico on November 24, 2015, 03:02:22 PM
I just had a new fridge delivered, and the delivery guys actually flirted with me. I was sort of shocked-- I don't think I'd myself as flirtable! One of them told me I was pretty and asked for my number... and I considered giving it to him. It was almost like a setup for a porn flick...

Pretty sure I've seen that one, but even if I haven't I know for certain how it ends!  ;D
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on November 28, 2015, 12:51:00 AM
I'm back to "I could, but should I? " :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on December 01, 2015, 09:03:39 PM
I'm going with "you should." Because at least one of us ought to be happy... or gratified. ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on December 02, 2015, 08:22:53 PM
I think it's  just a matter of time lol. We're trying to coordinate our schedules.

Dating and hooking up as a single parent is challenging.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: widowat33 on December 11, 2015, 01:02:23 AM
Ugh. I was in the library with my male classmate yesterday, and I had some inappropriate thoughts,lol.
There's something about doing stuff in public that's rather exciting for me.
Of course I didn't act them out...
Right now I don't want a relationship and to be honest I'm not sure I ever will. But sex? Yes please! Now just to find someone around here who isn't married, in a relationship, or who I am not related to, I live in a very small town,lol, which of course makes it all that much harder as your neighbours know what (or who) you are doing before you do!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on December 12, 2015, 02:58:09 PM
My son's best friend's dad has been chatting with me via text-- just casually-- for a few months now. My kid stays at his house, or his kid stays at mine, just about every weekend. He's divorced, a year or so older than me, and he's a nurse too. I've only actually met him once, but we have decent conversations (sometimes a bit risqu?!), and I kind of like him. My son likes him too, and after he badgered me for awhile, I finally gave in: I texted him yesterday and said "I'm being kind of brazen, but I think we should get together for drinks sometime."

The overwhelmingly enthusiastic response to my act of supreme courage? "Sure, that would be cool." And nothing since.

I should have gone with my first thought, which was to say, "I think we should try being FWB and see how that goes. No pressure, I just need to get laid." Might have gotten a better reception.

Sigh. I'm so done with this crap. I haven't even done anything, but I'm just finished. Wrong thread, I know, but just... fuck it all. :(
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on December 12, 2015, 07:47:01 PM
I'm wondering too Jen. Do men need us to be more direct,  or are they not as interested as we think they are? It shouldn't be this frustrating. Seems like it would be effortless if feelings were mutual. Maybe it's not that simple though.

I  met Phil when I was 16. Teenagers lives aren't as complicated. Lol
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TheOtherHalf on December 12, 2015, 07:54:34 PM
May I ask if he was badgering you for sex? Then you said "yes", and then he dropped it? And didn't get back to you at all? But you've been chatting for a few months?

It is possible that he's just a jerk and messing with you. There's armies of them out there.

It's also possible that both he and you are just saying you want sex, but secretly see it as something more than that.

I think it's possible he wants you in some capacity, and since he's been investing into this for quite awhile, maybe give him a pass, and ask him what's up? Maybe suggest a no strings coffee and see what happens.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on December 13, 2015, 12:06:54 AM
Jen, I know you said you only met once. What was that like?
Your risqu? conversations, are they by text or phone?

The reason I ask is because I have gone out a few times with this "minimal texter". In person he chats up a storm, but his texts are very simple and short. I try like heck to flirt by text, but nothing. I don't think he gets it. Sometimes I think I will have to hit him over the head to get his attention in that way.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on December 13, 2015, 09:45:17 AM
 Lol. The one time we met face to face was when he picked my son up to go spend the night at their house. I leaned in the car window and said "Hi, nice to finally meet you." He laughed and said "You too," or something like it. End of meeting.

Conversations are all via text. He messages me when he's bored or wants to complain about work. I do the same. He's been divorced and subsequently celibate for about 3 years; I'm going on 2, so there's a lot of "God I'm frustrated" talk. I've gotten a few pix...  :o To be honest, he's got some nice assets that I wouldn't mind getting my hands on. ;) But when I've mentioned hanging out IRL, he's noncommital and disinterested. I think maybe he just relieves his sexual frustration by talking about it-- he has no real intention of doing anything.

That's mostly all right with me. I'm not particularly interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with this guy. I've never had an FWB situation; I don't know if I could keep my heart out of it or not. I'm leery of forming an attachment to anyone, but I *really* *really* *REALLY* miss sex. Forgive me for being raw  (it is THIS thread after all), but the DIY approach just doesn't work for me. I can induce an orgasm, sure, but there's nothing satisfying about it... even physically. Like everything else in my life these days, it seems... pointless. :-\

I kind of wish brothels were a thing. Go pay for a 2-hour fling with a clean professional... it would be like getting a massage. No need to risk my poor battered heart again. It's already committed to someone who's completely inaccessible-- permanently tied up, I guess. As I say, I just need to get laid. ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on December 13, 2015, 11:38:28 AM
Maybe he is unsure about going "there" as your kids are friends?
Maybe he thinks you are not being serious and just being flirty?

"If" it's something you think you want to persue, in whatever form, I would be more direct. Maybe try to suggest an actual time to meet if you know he might be free, instead of something open ended. Maybe he needs to be hit over the head as well!

Just always be upfront with any intentions so there is no misunderstanding.

Take all this as you think it works for YOU. I am in no way an expert. My track record has not been ideal! 😁  But yes, sometimes we just need to get ravaged! 😆
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TalksToAngels on December 13, 2015, 11:52:41 AM
Jen just consider the FWB thing before you ever act upon it, as it opens up a huge can o worms. Sometimes it's ok for some who can handle the repercussions. Believe me I had one of these and it sucked. The feelings after were really weird, it ruined the friendship. I know the loneliness thing but in my case the benefits after really were a letdown, and I haven't spoken with the person since. It got all weirded.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on December 13, 2015, 12:41:46 PM
Yeah... I really don't know if I could casual sex. (Never had the opportunity!) On the bright side, we're not really friends... there's just some mutual commiseration, I guess. Meh. I'm not pursuing anything-- I said my bit, I'm done. If he wants to take another step, the ball is in his court.

Sigh. Why can't the village elders just get together and arrange these things? Bleah.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TheOtherHalf on December 13, 2015, 06:08:24 PM
So now I'm settling on you and him just carrying on until it turns into something else by some stroke of fate. If not, you have an amusement until you sort this out your feelings over the need to get laid. I'm picking up some ambiguity at the very least. If you decide on going ahead in the midst of not being super sure which way the wind blows, at least asses, as closely as you can, your ability to sustain the risk of consequences. Sex is tricky at the best of times, is my feeling. I jumped into a sexual relationship a year into my grief, which hadn't even started. It cost him his life and it cost me $20K to get away from him, because my spidey senses, plus he himself told me that he'd like to take me with him somehow. And I somehow knew on some unconscious level that he wasn't long for this world and I fled and he's dead. Super bad consequences, but I'm on the extreme. Something to think about though.

On the flip side, I'm taking your brothel suggestion seriously. CBC just featured the Hooker Monologues. I'm listening to any ideas, lol.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on December 23, 2015, 05:39:35 PM
 ;D
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: widowat33 on December 24, 2015, 03:26:30 AM
Hmmm...what's the smiley guy all about Virgo? ;) early Christmas gift?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: MrsDan on December 24, 2015, 05:31:32 AM
;D

High five!

And ditto.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on December 24, 2015, 09:41:57 AM
Not what I expected,  but felt amazing to be with a man again.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: widowat33 on December 24, 2015, 02:59:54 PM
Yay! Happy for all of you who are gettin some,lol. Maybe a little jealous too :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Torn on December 24, 2015, 03:07:16 PM
Yes, yes.....
  Congrats to you all, getting some Muahahaha
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on December 28, 2015, 10:19:41 AM
I'm not gonna lie, I'm jealous as hell. Happy for y'all, certainly, but green with envy. Nothing in my bed but stuffed animals, and not likely to be anything else in the foreseeable future. :(
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TalksToAngels on December 28, 2015, 11:44:50 PM
Jen I have to post a stuffed animal clip.
Don't worry it's non insinuating ; )
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on December 29, 2015, 12:19:01 AM
I'm wondering if having sex was a bad idea. It just makes me want it more.  :) 
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on December 29, 2015, 12:20:35 AM
I'm not gonna lie, I'm jealous as hell. Happy for y'all, certainly, but green with envy. Nothing in my bed but stuffed animals, and not likely to be anything else in the foreseeable future. :(

It will happen Jen. When you're truly ready.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on December 29, 2015, 08:26:20 AM
I too am green with envy!!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on December 29, 2015, 06:07:43 PM
Jen I have to post a stuffed animal clip.
Don't worry it's non insinuating ; )

 :o  :o  :o
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: widowat33 on February 11, 2016, 11:00:14 PM
I was talking with a friend today who had left an abusive marriage years ago. We started talking about sex, and I have been feeling bad for myself lately because it has been so long, so I asked her how long it had been for her..she held up ten fingers, I said ten months? Nope ten years! Ten friggin years. Now I don't feel so bad. 
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Torn on February 13, 2016, 03:36:54 AM
I was talking with a friend today who had left an abusive marriage years ago. We started talking about sex, and I have been feeling bad for myself lately because it has been so long, so I asked her how long it had been for her..she held up ten fingers, I said ten months? Nope ten years! Ten friggin years. Now I don't feel so bad.
  Heck just reading that made me feel better...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: lcoxwell on March 02, 2016, 10:08:32 PM
Given the fact that my Kenneth's physical disabilities prevented such things for several years before he died, added to the fact that I have been widowed for nearly two years, AND New Guy and I are waiting until we get married this Summer, it is has been right at 10 years for me, too. Not that I am counting, or anything, but in exactly 100 days from today, I will be breaking my 10 year "dry spell".  ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Trying on March 03, 2016, 04:56:03 AM
Oh boy, I hope your fianc?e knows to be well rested going into your wedding night!   ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: lcoxwell on March 03, 2016, 08:26:05 PM
Oh boy, I hope your fianc?e knows to be well rested going into your wedding night!   ;)

I promise not to be too hard on him. I don't want to break him on the wedding night and not be able to enjoy the rest of the honeymoon.  :P
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on March 04, 2016, 02:04:26 PM
If I posted what I really, really, really need right now, this site would immediately be reclassified as porn. FML.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 05, 2016, 04:08:52 PM
If I posted what I really, really, really need right now, this site would immediately be reclassified as porn. FML.

I was told that this thread at the old site was very descriptive like that lol.

I'm hoping to have some fun tonight.  We'll see.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jess on March 05, 2016, 07:43:57 PM
If I posted what I really, really, really need right now, this site would immediately be reclassified as porn. FML.

I was told that this thread at the old site was very descriptive like that lol.

Yes, that is the point!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 07, 2016, 06:42:02 AM
Maybe we should spice up this thread!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Wheelerswife on March 07, 2016, 07:23:59 AM
Oh, for the old YWBB folks, this thread got really, really racy.  Anyone remember Russell?

Maureen
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Portside on March 07, 2016, 10:12:24 AM
Anyone remember Russell?

Sure do!

But Nutella, a lasso, ass-less chaps and peacock feathers are a bit outside of my wheelhouse.

But I suppose I could be talked into it. I've done worse for less money.  :o

Be careful out there - always remember if it gets too out of hand, the EMTs will see you when you are helpless.

Just say'n.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on March 07, 2016, 05:09:12 PM
Okay, well, here's a question, then: what constitutes sex? Because if it's traditional intercourse, it's been 23 months and 5 days since I had sex. If we expand the definition a bit, it has still been 13 months and 18 days since anyone touched me intimately. THAT IS TOO LONG AND I AM GOING INSANE. I can accept a lot of things about widowhood, but this celibacy shit is for the birds. The DIY thing is NOT cutting it. If I didn't live with my mom and three kids, I swear I'd be surfing Craig's List or Tinder for hook ups.  >:( (Well, also if I weren't such a lamentable coward.)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jess on March 07, 2016, 07:52:16 PM
Guess that depends on what you enjoyed 13 months ago... :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: lcoxwell on March 07, 2016, 09:36:51 PM
Okay, well, here's a question, then: what constitutes sex?

That is a good question. While it has been 10 years, since I have had "traditional intercourse", I have to admit that my Kenneth was quite creative with the use of his tongue, fingers, and toys to make up for the fact that he wasn't physically able to have sex in the "traditional" sense of the word, anymore. Still, in the last few years, he wasn't feeling up to even the "creative" intimacy, but I could recalculate my earlier numbers, at least, so it doesn't sound quite so bad as 10 FREAKING YEARS!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 08, 2016, 06:40:19 AM
It was almost 18 months before I had any type of intimate contact and that wasn't intercourse. I think now that I've had sex the urge is even more intense than it was during those 18 months. I miss the consistency and availability not being in a committed relationship.  Thursday was the last time I had sex and it felt amazing.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: lcoxwell on March 08, 2016, 11:14:49 PM
Thursday was the last time I had sex and it felt amazing.

Rub it in, why don't you?  :P
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Trying on March 09, 2016, 05:10:46 AM
Virgo I have often said that if the single men knew about the sex drives of widows they would all be lined up at our doors!  I've been with NG for almost 2 years and it continues to be just as intense, for all of the challenges he faces dating a widow at least he gets this one bonus!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 09, 2016, 07:15:45 AM
Thursday was the last time I had sex and it felt amazing.

Rub it in, why don't you?  :P

Well, I had sex yesterday and today looks favorable!! Lol  We might meet up this afternoon and again this evening.  :) Definitely this evening.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: daysofelijah on March 09, 2016, 08:43:25 AM
Virgo I have often said that if the single men knew about the sex drives of widows they would all be lined up at our doors!  I've been with NG for almost 2 years and it continues to be just as intense, for all of the challenges he faces dating a widow at least he gets this one bonus!

Absolutely, every day and then some if I could, lol. Unfortunately with 6 children between the two of us, we're lucky to find private time once or twice a week.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: lcoxwell on March 09, 2016, 11:59:21 PM
Well, I had sex yesterday and today looks favorable!! Lol  We might meet up this afternoon and again this evening.  :) Definitely this evening.

Hahahahahahahaha! This made my whole day! I so needed this laugh today. (I hope you had a really good time. Someone should at least be enjoying themselves!)

By the way, I am now down to 93 days, until I will be having sex. I have already warned New Guy that I have really good cardio fitness, that I am incredibly flexible and bendy for a woman my age, that I have all kinds of sexy lingerie ready and waiting, and that he should be fully prepared to have a very busy honeymoon. ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 13, 2016, 07:30:38 PM
93 days ... you're going to wear each other out.  ;)

I'm not sure when I'll be seeing my guy this week. Hopefully tomorrow! We were both out of town this weekend.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 14, 2016, 08:30:11 AM
Wow, has this thread ever gone off the rails.  I thought the topic was 'what are you needing' not what are you getting.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 14, 2016, 02:15:18 PM
I'm in a tropical destination with my kids and another family.
I keep looking around and thinking everyone is getting action tonight except me!!! 😨
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 14, 2016, 04:43:58 PM
Awe MTK sorry to hear that.  I know how you feel.  It's been 3 yrs for me now and longest Ive gone without in my adult life.  UGH!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: lcoxwell on March 14, 2016, 10:25:40 PM
Note to self: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT go to the gym with New Guy, unless or until the workout together is going to be followed up with actual sex! Watching your man pump iron with his muscles bulging all manly like when he doesn't know you are watching, catching his eye in the mirror at the gym and seeing him smile at you across the room, and crossing paths for a quick kiss and having him grab your butt right there in the middle of the gym "in front of God and everybody" (as your mamma would say) is far too tempting.

I have to admit, after 10 years of no sex, these final 88 days are beginning to feel like an eternity. I swear, at this moment, I would be up for sex of any kind. Okay, maybe I should rephrase that. I am with Portside. I think "Nutella, a lasso, ass-less chaps, and peacock feathers" are a bit much. On the other hand, I have not ever tried it, so who am I to judge? Seriously, I am up for just about anything that wouldn't land me in the hospital or jail, at this point. As long as it involves sex and an orgasm, I think I would be all in.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 15, 2016, 11:14:30 AM
I must be the only person who doesn't like Nutella. Lol! I enjoyed working out with my LH and then going home and showering together.  Most of the time we had the gym to ourselves.  It was very tempting, and we were always playful.

I need a sex weekend!  No kids. No domestic duties. Just break for food and the restroom occasionally.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mrskro on March 17, 2016, 01:40:53 PM
Virgo;

Sign me up for a sex weekend!!  How do I get one of those?

:P
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 17, 2016, 10:55:39 PM
Step 1: find a willing partner
Step 2: find someone to stay with your kids for the weekend
Step 3: book a hotel room for the weekend

I'm stuck between Step 1 and Step 2. Lol!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 18, 2016, 03:09:13 AM
I'll take one of those weekends too please! ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 22, 2016, 05:52:58 PM
What I am needing.....

He sees me across the room and walks up to me...
He smiles that killer smile and brushes his hand across my jaw and caresses my neck and ear....
He leans in close so I can feel his breathing....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on March 23, 2016, 11:21:56 AM
Don't stop!! :P
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TalksToAngels on March 23, 2016, 12:58:16 PM
And then says..
Did you pay the electric bill ?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 23, 2016, 02:03:21 PM
And then says..
Did you pay the electric bill ?

"Because if you did, baby, I've got something for you.  I brought in the groceries (kisses the back of the neck) I took out the garbage (nibbles the ear) I fixed that squeaky hinge (runs tongue down the jaw, to the neck, and lightly brushes down to the cleavage) and I changed the light bulb in the foyer. (Moves in with right knee slowly, but deliberately pushing in between the thighs) While I had the ladder out I dusted the ceiling fans." (Draws your arms up to my shoulders, slips your blouse above your head and tosses it to the corner.)

"You finish undressing.  The kids won't be back until tomorrow morning.  I've drawn you a hot bath and there's a chilled glass of wine waiting for you next to the tub (with gently strength, push my lips to yours for a breath taking kiss).  You have a half hour in the bath to yourself-then I'll join you (sweeps you up into strong arms and carries you to the candle lit bathtub)."

The rest is up to your imagination.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TalksToAngels on March 23, 2016, 05:03:10 PM
Better yet let the kids find a ride to the baseball game ; )

Lol sounds likes she's getting the better of the deal.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: RobFTC on March 23, 2016, 05:32:45 PM
A woman's neck is such a lovely thing.  To gently massage the back of your neck, around where your hair starts.  To gently touch that lovely cavity below your larynx.  To kiss my way from where your collarbone connects, up the side of your neck, to your ear.

Just one of many lovely spots.

Take care,
Rob T
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: twistedmensa on March 23, 2016, 05:55:39 PM
Damn it! You people are killing me!







(don't stop)... ;D
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 23, 2016, 07:17:24 PM
I come into the bathroom, slide gently into he tub behind you, and lean in so you can feel the presence and the broad chest of a virile man lean into you,Mariah your hair away from your neck, whisper something naughty in your ear. Then, tracing my warm, wet tongue down from just behind your ear, my lips trace down to the small tile hollow that forms right where your clavicle, neck and shoulder meet. I kiss it vigorously while reaching out of the water to caress the soft skin of your breast, lean in, turn your head toward mine, and kiss your lips with an ever so slight slip of the tinge, finishing with a quick, playful nibble on your lower lip.....

Let your imagination go.....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 23, 2016, 08:13:59 PM
So this is what happens when I go to work and then come home and bake 72 muffins and don't have time to check in! 😁

It about time this thread heated up!

Be back later to add to it! 😈
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 23, 2016, 08:19:59 PM
Muffin you say? I could be in the mood for a hot, moist, gooey muffin! And I must say, I'm told its a delight when I have my mouth in a muffin  8)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 23, 2016, 10:28:20 PM
Muffin you say? I could be in the mood for a hot, moist, gooey muffin! And I must say, I'm told its a delight when I have my mouth in a muffin  8)

Well, who would think muffins would get me hot and bothered! 😨
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 23, 2016, 10:58:34 PM
I come into the bathroom, slide gently into he tub behind you, and lean in so you can feel the presence and the broad chest of a virile man lean into you,Mariah your hair away from your neck, whisper something naughty in your ear. Then, tracing my warm, wet tongue down from just behind your ear, my lips trace down to the small tile hollow that forms right where your clavicle, neck and shoulder meet. I kiss it vigorously while reaching out of the water to caress the soft skin of your breast, lean in, turn your head toward mine, and kiss your lips with an ever so slight slip of the tinge, finishing with a quick, playful nibble on your lower lip.....

Let your imagination go.....

Oh that incredible lower lip nibble....
It sends shivers down my spine. I turn my wet and glistening body to face my wet and eager partner. I then straddle him and run my fingers through his damp hair, tugging slightly, staring intensely into his eyes. I cup his strong jaw in my hands and lean in to kiss his awaiting and wanting lips. Softly at first, playful, treasing, not letting him truly have my full lips. When his breath increases with eagerness, I kiss him hard and strong, still holding his jaw, exploring his mouth and tongue with my tongue. His strong hands are firmly on my waist, squeezing, then sliding up and down my sides. The feel of those hands, the feel of his manliness growing beneath me...

I move my lips to his ear, licking,  nibbling until he starts to groan with delight. His pleasure is arousing me even more........

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 23, 2016, 11:01:01 PM
A woman's neck is such a lovely thing.  To gently massage the back of your neck, around where your hair starts.  To gently touch that lovely cavity below your larynx.  To kiss my way from where your collarbone connects, up the side of your neck, to your ear.

Just one of many lovely spots.

Take care,
Rob T

Yup!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: RobFTC on March 23, 2016, 11:01:54 PM
Muffin you say? I could be in the mood for a hot, moist, gooey muffin!

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/npr/n12810

Shades of that great Betty White SNL routine!  A great NPR spoof, too.

Take care,
Rob T
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 23, 2016, 11:02:33 PM
Ok, I will go and hide of embarrassment now! 😆
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: RobFTC on March 23, 2016, 11:05:20 PM
Of course, the real secret is to see how many wonderful spots on a woman I can kiss - there are so many grand ones!

Take care,
Rob T (trying to keep calm here!)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 23, 2016, 11:07:30 PM
Muffin you say? I could be in the mood for a hot, moist, gooey muffin!

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/npr/n12810

Shades of that great Betty White SNL routine!  A great NPR spoof, too.

Take care,
Rob T

Darn, it won't let me access it here!  😯
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: widowat33 on March 23, 2016, 11:51:08 PM
Wow. Now this is starting to look more like the original thread ;)

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TalksToAngels on March 24, 2016, 12:44:04 AM
This is getting a bit steamy think I'll go over to dating dismays :/
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 24, 2016, 04:35:19 AM
And then ahh oooo don't stop!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 24, 2016, 06:29:09 AM
I move my lips to his ear, licking,  nibbling until he starts to groan with delight. His pleasure is arousing me even more........

And as I'm aroused, my manliness growing, my hands move down your sides, brushing your breasts, lingering for a moment, tracing with my fingers as arousal and pleasure grow together.  The tension builds until neither one of us can hardly contain ourselves.  My hands find your hips as lips once more connect, I find your tongue with mine and we begin to foreshadow the imminent culmination of passion, pleasure, and exhilaration between us.  I guide your hips down to my pulsing loins as your thighs gently slip down around my waist. My head nestled in your bosom, my warm tongue tracing up between your breasts, following the center of your chest, then along your clavicles.  We both tingle and shiver with the electricity that ignites our passions.  The final moves of the dance begin.......
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mrskro on March 24, 2016, 06:58:46 AM
Yep, that's what I'm needing. 

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TalksToAngels on March 24, 2016, 07:31:47 AM
I need a glass of cold fruit juice.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 24, 2016, 07:50:05 AM
I need a cold shower :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TalksToAngels on March 24, 2016, 08:32:36 AM
Ice cubes can be hugely erotic ; )
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 24, 2016, 08:51:57 AM
Ice cubes can be hugely erotic ; )

Ice cube down the center of the chest, around the "girls" in the nape of the neck, small of the back, the back of the knees, between the thighs....

Those are in my repertoire as well.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 24, 2016, 09:23:31 AM
Ahhh the memories! ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Max2507 on March 24, 2016, 02:17:41 PM
Oh my, yes RobFTC those are awesome spots to get kissed and Tormented you might have a career in writing erotica. Hot stuff
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 24, 2016, 02:29:56 PM
I don't want a career in writing erotica, I want a lifetime of living out erotica with one special lady.  Too bad she only seems to exist in dreams thus far.  Three years is a long time to come up with ideas that no one's living out!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 24, 2016, 02:50:41 PM
I hear you TTS!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Max2507 on March 24, 2016, 03:43:00 PM
Tell me about it 3 years is a long time, some prime years lost
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mrskro on March 24, 2016, 04:36:04 PM
I hear you!

I need to get laid :P
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 24, 2016, 06:03:43 PM
Mrskro yup, its been way too long.  Where is he??? :0
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 24, 2016, 06:40:50 PM
Mrskro yup, its been way too long.  Where is he??? :0


Where is he indeed.....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 24, 2016, 06:45:21 PM
We both tingle and shiver with the electricity that ignites our passions.  The final moves of the dance begin.......

Oh boy, do I dare continue......

In my mind oh yes....in writing, in public....😶
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 24, 2016, 06:50:11 PM
I don't want a career in writing erotica, I want a lifetime of living out erotica with one special lady.  Too bad she only seems to exist in dreams thus far.  Three years is a long time to come up with ideas that no one's living out!

I still can't understand why this is so hard. Why do we have to suffer like this? As a friend once said to me, if we are wired for sensuality,  why are we made to suffer without? Why can't we just find each other?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 24, 2016, 07:30:41 PM
Huh....this is just like when they'd pick teams for kickball in the fourth grade. Or square dancing in the fifth grade.....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 24, 2016, 09:02:23 PM
Wow. Now this is starting to look more like the original thread ;)



That was the plan! 😉
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 24, 2016, 09:03:27 PM
Muffin you say? I could be in the mood for a hot, moist, gooey muffin!

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/npr/n12810

Shades of that great Betty White SNL routine!  A great NPR spoof, too.

Take care,
Rob T

Found a link I could see! Love it! 😁
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: SimiRed on March 25, 2016, 10:51:03 AM
Thinking this thread is getting better than the book I'm reading!

Loved the Betty White SNL skit! LOL
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 25, 2016, 12:15:11 PM
Thinking this thread is getting better than the book I'm reading!

I'm thinking of archiving this and developing it into a book.  But I have more research to do.  I'll play the part of the sex starved widower.  Anyone want to audition for the female counterpart?  ;D ::) ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 25, 2016, 12:17:09 PM
 I certainly don't need to play the part, I'm living it.    :) :o
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 25, 2016, 12:22:36 PM
I certainly don't need to play the part, I'm living it.    :) :o
You've gotta widower putting bathtub moves on you?  Good for you!  You go, girl!!!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 25, 2016, 12:35:45 PM
Thinking this thread is getting better than the book I'm reading!

I'm thinking of archiving this and developing it into a book.  But I have more research to do.  I'll play the part of the sex starved widower.  Anyone want to audition for the female counterpart?  ;D ::) ;)

It depends on what research is needed! 😂
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 25, 2016, 01:56:06 PM

It depends on what research is needed! 😂

I'm certain it would take several long "sex weekends"; to quote Virgo.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 25, 2016, 02:37:59 PM
TTS I could only wish that was the case! lol I meant I am living the part of a sex starved widow LOL! Hey, maybe I should audition  ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 25, 2016, 03:13:17 PM
TTS I could only wish that was the case! lol I meant I am living the part of a sex starved widow LOL! Hey, maybe I should audition  ;)

Gimme a week or so to limber up and make sure I've got plenty of fluids. 8)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 25, 2016, 09:50:18 PM
Still needing a weekend. It's been awhile. 
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 28, 2016, 11:01:59 AM

It depends on what research is needed! 😂

I'm certain it would take several long "sex weekends"; to quote Virgo.


Well, a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do! 😆
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 28, 2016, 11:07:27 AM

Well, a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do! 😆

Deep, penetrating, intense, hard, probing research.  It could take innumerable repeat experimentation.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 28, 2016, 11:07:58 AM
Ok peeps!
I'm sure we can all heat things up a bit more on this thread!
Don't be shy....these are all natural and healthy cravings and feelings we all have....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 28, 2016, 11:16:55 AM

Well, a girl's gotta do, what a girl's gotta do! 😆

Deep, penetrating, intense, hard, probing research.  It could take innumerable repeat experimentation.

I am sure you are aware that experiments sometimes need different methods and approaches along with probing and exploring areas you may not have thought to explore before. Only then can you be sure your research is worthy of being published and your hypotheses are correct.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 28, 2016, 11:20:23 AM
After a final shiver of exhilaration, you rise from the bath, straddling my still throbbing loins.  Your once tense body, now relaxed from the sweet release we've just shared, glistens in the candle light.  The water and bubble bath running down between your breasts, dripping off your aroused nipples, running down your legs like warm rivulets of pure pleasure and cascading across my expansive, heaving chest as I'm left nearly breathless from the mere visage of the female body I've just felt completely melted into.  I rise out of the water, swooping you up into my arms with a warm lush towel.  Our eyes meet, and at once we both know the passion has simply been ignited further, rather than calmed and extinguished.

Our lips meet, hot with anticipation, tongue meeting tongue, as we feel we are breathing the very essence of one another. In and out, inhaling and exhaling, kissing deeper with each draw.  I carry you out of the bathroom, and lay you on the bed.  Your body still glistening, warm with the water and still hot with desire, it's too much to leave alone.  My lips meet the back of your knees, my hot tongue tracing up the inside of your thighs, relentlessly kissing as I go up, still further.  My lips gently kissing the sweet cleft, my tongue drawing its way along the silky wet, tender skin.....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 28, 2016, 12:29:58 PM
Do you really need a week to limber up? :)  Get the auditions started sooner LOL
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 28, 2016, 12:35:28 PM
Do you really need a week to limber up? :)  Get the auditions started sooner LOL

I suppose I could start the auditions this week for someone who is pre-qualified.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: RobFTC on March 28, 2016, 01:27:19 PM
You could get a lot of applicants, TTS - maybe you want to spread out the audition load?

It's a tough job, but someone has to do it!

Take care,
Rob T
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 28, 2016, 01:57:27 PM
Ok peeps!
I'm sure we can all heat things up a bit more on this thread!
Don't be shy....these are all natural and healthy cravings and feelings we all have....

Are you wanting it to go from erotica to XXX? :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 28, 2016, 02:22:47 PM
How does one become pre-qualified?  ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 28, 2016, 03:13:48 PM
Do you really need a week to limber up? :)  Get the auditions started sooner LOL


I think he is already pretty limbered up by the sounds of it! :-)

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 28, 2016, 03:15:27 PM
You could get a lot of applicants, TTS - maybe you want to spread out the audition load?

It's a tough job, but someone has to do it!

Take care,
Rob T

Should we call it the audition bago?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 28, 2016, 03:18:57 PM
Ok peeps!
I'm sure we can all heat things up a bit more on this thread!
Don't be shy....these are all natural and healthy cravings and feelings we all have....

Are you wanting it to go from erotica to XXX? :)

Well Jen, I thought it was getting quiet in here.
I was coincidentally posting at the same time as TTS.
Yes, that heated things up a bit!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 28, 2016, 03:21:40 PM
How does one become pre-qualified?  ;)

Sex starved widow ought to do it, no? :-D
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 28, 2016, 03:26:34 PM
Haha good point MTK!!
So my hot moist banana/blueberry muffins are out of the oven, what now?  LOL
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 28, 2016, 04:06:19 PM
After a final shiver of exhilaration, you rise from the bath, straddling my still throbbing loins.  Your once tense body, now relaxed from the sweet release we've just shared, glistens in the candle light.  The water and bubble bath running down between your breasts, dripping off your aroused nipples, running down your legs like warm rivulets of pure pleasure and cascading across my expansive, heaving chest as I'm left nearly breathless from the mere visage of the female body I've just felt completely melted into.  I rise out of the water, swooping you up into my arms with a warm lush towel.  Our eyes meet, and at once we both know the passion has simply been ignited further, rather than calmed and extinguished.

Our lips meet, hot with anticipation, tongue meeting tongue, as we feel we are breathing the very essence of one another. In and out, inhaling and exhaling, kissing deeper with each draw.  I carry you out of the bathroom, and lay you on the bed.  Your body still glistening, warm with the water and still hot with desire, it's too much to leave alone.  My lips meet the back of your knees, my hot tongue tracing up the inside of your thighs, relentlessly kissing as I go up, still further.  My lips gently kissing the sweet cleft, my tongue drawing its way along the silky wet, tender skin.....

Damn....the back of the knees....the inner thighs....he knows, he just knows....I can't get enough...I want more...I get more...he is relentless...he is unstoppable...he knows exactly what I need...what I crave

I lose myself in the pleasure, my entire body is enveloped in rhythmic spasms from head to toe...

As my breathing begins to slow back down, I want him even more. But first I want to give him, the pleasure he has given me...

I roll him to his back and I straddle over his hips and thighs. I want him to look at me, all of me, my flushed cheeks, my flushed breasts, my wanting eyes. I want him to wonder where I will begin, where I will touch him first.

I run my finger tips, ever so slightly touching his skin, up from the side of his torso, from his hip bone to his heaving chest. I bend forward and nuzzle my face into his neck, I want to smell his scent, that scent that drives me wild, I breathe him in and slowly I start to softly kiss his neck. I open my lips and my tongue lightly traces a line across his jawline toward his ear. When I touch my tongue to his ear, he shivers and moans. Oh my what that does to me, to hear his pleasure....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 28, 2016, 04:28:30 PM
Haha good point MTK!!
So my hot moist banana/blueberry muffins are out of the oven, what now?  LOL

Gentlemen? The lady is waiting.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 28, 2016, 06:51:18 PM
MTK I think I should do the audition and you should do a book with TTS. Win win. Rob, your generous offer to help TTs is so generous.
LOL. This thread is definitely getting out of my comfort zone LOL. Sometimes that's a good thing :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: SimiRed on March 28, 2016, 07:10:48 PM
Haha good point MTK!!
So my hot moist banana/blueberry muffins are out of the oven, what now?  LOL

Gentlemen? The lady is waiting.

LOL, I thought everyone was just out of breath!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 28, 2016, 07:41:23 PM
I think all you ladies come prequalified, but I must admit, momtokam has made the competition, shall I say, stiff? She just gets me, and I think I get her. What I wouldn't do with her if she were here-audition Bago indeed!

How I wish I was about to go face down in one of those hot muffins. I'm a big guy, and us big guys sure np know how to eat  ;) 8)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 28, 2016, 08:23:46 PM
I think this bago needs to take place in the Midwest.  :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 28, 2016, 08:37:44 PM
I would agree Virgo. I'm in the Midwest myself. It's where I prefer to hold the auditions.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 28, 2016, 08:40:41 PM
I live in northern Indiana.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on March 28, 2016, 08:43:29 PM
If it's within a ten hour drive, I'll be there. Hell, I'll drive 16 hours or more if there's a bed at the end. I'll even bring handcuffs.  ;-)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Wheelerswife on March 28, 2016, 08:47:42 PM
Maureen opens this thread and thinks....

I'm in the Midwest, too!

 8)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 28, 2016, 09:24:45 PM
Hell, I'm in Canada and I'll be there :). When?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 28, 2016, 11:01:27 PM
Wids gone wild!!!
I love it!
I'm laughing so hard I think I peed my pants! 😁
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 28, 2016, 11:03:57 PM
MTK I think I should do the audition and you should do a book with TTS. Win win. Rob, your generous offer to help TTs is so generous.
LOL. This thread is definitely getting out of my comfort zone LOL. Sometimes that's a good thing :)


Yes, very generous indeed Rob!
I already knew you were a good guy though!

It's a very good thing BH2!
It is out of my comfort zone too! It didn't seem to stop me though. 😁
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 28, 2016, 11:11:24 PM
I think all you ladies come prequalified, but I must admit, momtokam has made the competition, shall I say, stiff? She just gets me, and I think I get her. What I wouldn't do with her if she were here-audition Bago indeed!

How I wish I was about to go face down in one of those hot muffins. I'm a big guy, and us big guys sure np know how to eat  ;) 8)

I'm willing to bet your skills will be welcomed by all of ladies heading to your audition bago!  😎
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 28, 2016, 11:14:21 PM
Hell, I'm in Canada and I'll be there :). When?

I think we should carpool! 😆
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 29, 2016, 03:59:11 AM
MTK tell me where to pick you up then we'll head south.  Those American lads won't know what hit them!   ;D
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 29, 2016, 06:01:53 AM
BH2-I awoke this morning with a very tired, sore jaw, a tired tongue and mildly chaffed lips.  I had luscious dreams of eating a hot muffin all night.  How did you sleep???? 8)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 29, 2016, 09:16:38 AM
Well after reading all this yesterday I was hot and bothered and tossed and turned all night! :-\ ;)  lol
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TalksToAngels on March 29, 2016, 09:47:05 AM
I gnawed at a very rare prime rib first cut yesterday does that count ??
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 29, 2016, 09:55:07 AM
I gnawed at a very rare prime rib first cut yesterday does that count ??

Did it have the bone in?  Did you find yourself running your fingers up and down the hard, yet smooth bone as you guided its juicy, delectable goodness into your mouth, first running your tongue up and down?  Did you find yourself sucking that bone, working it with your tongue to get every last drop of pure pleasure out of it?  Then yes, it counts.  I prefer to have my bone in.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TalksToAngels on March 29, 2016, 10:04:25 AM
Yes bone in, but I hesitated over sucking cause of my gender.
LOFLVH
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 29, 2016, 10:17:47 AM
Yes bone in, but I hesitated over sucking cause of my gender.
LOFLVH

Say no more.  I mean, for real, say no more.  BH2??? MTK??? Help?!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 29, 2016, 10:23:47 AM
Hahaha OMG you 2 are hilarious!!

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 29, 2016, 12:05:03 PM
Hahaha!

Did we all have sweet, luscious, wet dreams???

Prime Bones? ...In...out...hard...juicy...delectable...sucking. ..licking...maybe a little nibbling...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 29, 2016, 12:07:57 PM

MTK tell me where to pick you up then we'll head south.  Those American lads won't know what hit them!   ;D

Canadian women know how to create the extra heat needed for our cold climate! 😆
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 29, 2016, 12:18:21 PM

Canadian women know how to create the extra heat needed for our cold climate! 😆

How fortunate since we're expecting a cold snap here in my neck of the woods.  Ladies-come on down!  You're the next contestants on audition with TTS!

Have your muffins hot and ready.  You'll enjoy them more once I make them "bone in".
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 29, 2016, 01:44:31 PM
You've got that right MTK!! :)

Update:  TTS, I don't know how I missed your last post.  Too much!! LOL Please do tell, what do you concider a cold spell?  Just curious :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 29, 2016, 04:11:15 PM
You've got that right MTK!! :)

Update:  TTS, I don't know how I missed your last post.  Too much!! LOL Please do tell, what do you concider a cold spell?  Just curious :)

I'd say as long as I'm in a dry spell (going on two and a half years) I'd classify a cold spell as anything below 98.6 degrees. Which coincidentally is the same temperature as emitting body fluid. Though repeated experimentation may be required to validate that. Now to find a lab assistant....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 29, 2016, 04:59:36 PM
It's been 2 weeks for me, so should I back out of this conversation?  :) I'm hoping it won't be months again  before I feel the weight of a man between my legs.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 29, 2016, 05:08:37 PM
It's been 2 weeks for me, so should I back out of this conversation?  :) I'm hoping it won't be months again  before I feel the weight of a man between my legs.

You wanna back outta the conversation and right into my lap?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 29, 2016, 06:31:30 PM
 I should probably back myself into a cold shower before I say anything to detailed or offensive. :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 29, 2016, 07:44:42 PM
I should probably back myself into a cold shower before I say anything to detailed or offensive. :)

Detailed would be welcome-offensive?  If you can keep up the tone of the thread I highly doubt you'd say anything offensive. Provocative perhaps, but not offensive.  So why don't you back yourself into my lap, tell my your deepest desires, and we'll see what-ahem-pops up!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 29, 2016, 08:49:38 PM
Your hands slowly move up my thighs and rest on my hips as I glide up and down in your lap.  Your hands gradually move up to caress my breasts as I glide faster...

Normally I wouldn't use words like muffin or bone, so I will have to tone it down for widda. :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 29, 2016, 09:04:57 PM
My fingers trace around the soft skin of your breasts as my warm tongue reaches out and draws your nipples, first one then the other into my mouth, my lips wet against your hot skin as your chest begins to heave with the heavy breath and moans of delight.  Your lips, the ones gliding in my lap, envelop me, hot and wet against my pulsing, throbbing manhood rising stiff and warm within your loins.

Our eyes meet and in the rush of passion our lips meet, mouths open.  My tongue mimicking the movement of my essence in you, both below and above.  I reach up and gently, but forcefully pull your hair down towards your shoulder blades.  Your supple neck stretching forth as my tongue glides down, across your clavicles and along your breasts once more.  Your back is arched and we've fallen into the torrid rhythm we've both been denied for much too long.  You feel my strong thighs rise beneath your hips with each successive thrust.  You become more and more wet as we begin to move faster in perfect rhythm.  You gliding up and down as I thrust the feeling of satin wrapped steel deep into your very being.  It feels as though we've melted into one another.  Hot, steamy, skin on skin, where do I end and you begin.  With a loud sigh of pleasure your body spasms in uncontrollable ecstasy as we've reached a point of no return together.  I grown a deep, manly growl as my strong arms glide down your sides, my hands grabbing your hips and pulling you into me as I deliver one final thrust that feels as if it's filling your whole body with a fast rush of warmth.......
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 29, 2016, 09:41:40 PM
How is it that you haven't had sex for 2 1/2 years?? That was hot!! Mmmmm
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 29, 2016, 10:32:33 PM
Nice to see you all are keeping things heated up nicely here! 😆

I had a busy day and I have a busy week ahead.
Please don't let the heat slip away. 😉

I did just have a really nice long hot shower though.... 😊
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 30, 2016, 06:07:17 AM
How is it that you haven't had sex for 2 1/2 years?? That was hot!! Mmmmm

If I could answer that question, I wouldn't be hanging out here.  This thread currently constitutes the whole of my sex life.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 30, 2016, 07:10:10 AM
How is it that you haven't had sex for 2 1/2 years?? That was hot!! Mmmmm

If I could answer that question, I wouldn't be hanging out here.  This thread currently constitutes the whole of my sex life.

When was the last time you asked a woman if she would like to go out?

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 30, 2016, 07:45:41 AM

When was the last time you asked a woman if she would like to go out?

This past Monday.  I've been on quite a few dates, but that elusive "chemistry" just doesn't seem to ever hit for me. If I'm into her, she's not so keen on me.  Vice versa is true as well.  I don't know what to say beyond that.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mrskro on March 30, 2016, 07:49:13 AM
Tormented....This thread is the extent of my sex life too.  :(  Don't stop  :) hehe
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on March 30, 2016, 11:07:51 AM
No words... just desperate need. :-\
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TalksToAngels on March 30, 2016, 12:22:11 PM

 :o
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 30, 2016, 12:32:36 PM
I'd love to get some action and put action to my words.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on March 30, 2016, 01:11:00 PM
I'd love to get some action and put action to my words.

Agreed.

Where are you?  ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 30, 2016, 01:36:56 PM
I think the men here would be outnumbered at a bago. :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 30, 2016, 01:51:51 PM
I think the men here would be outnumbered at a bago. :)

That's quite alright.  I've got enough sexual aggression and stamina built up to handle it.  I'll take all cum...uh, comers at the audition bago.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 30, 2016, 08:09:37 PM
You would think after such a long hiatus the duration of excitement would be brief. :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 30, 2016, 10:29:59 PM
I'm willing to test that opinion :). Easy for you to say Virgo. It's only been 2 wks.  It's been 3 fucking yrs for me.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 30, 2016, 10:45:05 PM
I'm willing to test that opinioDrn :). EasDey for you to say Virgo. It's only been 2 wks.  It's been 3 fucking yrs for me.


Speaking from personal experience, when you go without for quite a while, the need becomes insatiable,  the more you get, the more you keep wanting. Just saying.....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 30, 2016, 11:02:00 PM
I agree with the more you get, the more you want. I was referring to those first touches, kisses, caresses, and strokes quickly arousing. Completely natural response considering how long it's been. 

Yes, I had sex two weeks ago. I did however wait almost 2 years, so I can relate.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 06:26:55 AM
I'm willing to test that opinion :). Easy for you to say Virgo. It's only been 2 wks.  It's been 3 fucking yrs for me.

It's been two and a half non-fucking years for me.  I'm ready to get back to the fucking years.  My wife and I were together over twenty years and averaged 4-6 times a week.  Sometimes more.  To go from that to nothing quite literally overnight has been awful.  And I'm not the type to just go looking for a casual hook up.  *sigh*.  I'll agree with others that the arousal might be quick, but the rest of the experience, should there ever be one, would be a very long and drawn out affair.  I always try and make good things last.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 07:36:07 AM
And I should add, given my string of terrible misfortune, I firmly believe that nice guys finish last  ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mrskro on March 31, 2016, 07:40:22 AM
Quote
I firmly believe that nice guys finish last

I firmly believe nice women do too   :-\
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 08:01:23 AM


I firmly believe nice women do too   :-\

Why don't we get together and find out who holds something "firm", and who indeed would finish last? ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mrskro on March 31, 2016, 10:10:16 AM
 :)  The one time finishing last is a good thing ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 31, 2016, 11:03:14 AM
My husband and I were together 22 years. Met at 16, married at 19. It is awful to go from multiple times a week to nothing.  Not just the sex, but the constant touching too. Sigh
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 31, 2016, 11:09:12 AM
Totally agree Virgo.  Its absolutely abhorent.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 11:31:50 AM
Count me in that same camp, ladies.  And despite all the fun we've had in this thread, my wife was the only person I've ever had sex with, and only after she became my wife.  While I want it very, very badly again, I also have the fear that no other would want me in the same way, and that I wouldn't "measure up" or deliver.  I hope that someone is convinced that there is experience behind all the words, and they weren't simply conjured up by a horny old widower.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 31, 2016, 11:56:46 AM
TTS all along I thought it was all in fun as well.  Fun and getting me all hot and bothered too :)  I have that same fear as well that nobody would want me the way DH did. 
I think we should get back to the fun stuff in this thread!  ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 31, 2016, 11:59:01 AM
Multiple partners doesn't equal experience. My husband was my only partner too, and I his . He completely satisfied me.

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 12:13:33 PM

I think we should get back to the fun stuff in this thread!  ;)

I think we should get back to the fun stuff-but not in the thread, but in my bed! Now about that audition bago....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 31, 2016, 12:22:37 PM
You should see and taste the hot gooy Maple Butter tarts I just took out of the oven.  We you bite into one it just oozes out.  And so sweet too!  When are you calling the bago?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 12:40:14 PM
You should see and taste the hot gooy Maple Butter tarts I just took out of the oven.  We you bite into one it just oozes out.  And so sweet too!  When are you calling the bago?

I would love to take you up on seeing your hot, gooey tart.  I'd put my face right down in that hot piece of sweetness  and lick, and lick, and lick and lick and never let up until the tart lets go and the gooey goodness oozes all over my face, runs down my chin and melts all over.  I believe in having dessert first.  So only after the tart is completely devoured would I offer my hot, steamy, juicy sausage for you to sample.  It may very well fit your tart quite perfectly!

When is the bago?  I work best one on one.  PM me and I can schedule you in for an audition.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 31, 2016, 12:56:24 PM
OMG I need another cold shower! :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 01:13:32 PM
OMG I need another cold shower! :)
Care to send me video of that?  Especially the way you can work a loofah?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 31, 2016, 02:48:39 PM
I tried to upload the video but it wouldn't work.  Sorry TTS, you'll have to wait til the audition!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 02:53:14 PM
BH2....Get.Here.Quick!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 31, 2016, 04:22:44 PM
Love long, hot candlelit showers. The rubbing, soaping up, wet kisses, water trickling down.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 04:48:21 PM
Love long, hot candlelit showers. The rubbing, soaping up, wet kisses, water trickling down.

I'm such a filthy, dirty boy and I need a hot shower and a good lathering up. Shall I meet you in a couple hours?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 31, 2016, 06:15:31 PM
I have Friday evenings to myself, so tomorrow would be better for me. We can stay in the shower until the water is uncomfortably cool. Then continue pleasuring each other in my bed.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 06:25:04 PM
I have Friday evenings to myself, so tomorrow would be better for me. We can stay in the shower until the water is uncomfortably cool. Then continue pleasuring each other in my bed.

You've got a deal, Virgo.  Get ready-this wid has saved up two and a half years of amazing action.  You'll be quaking, shaking, and thoroughly satisfied.  Not to mention worn out.  See you tomorrow evening ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 31, 2016, 06:30:40 PM
Sounds amazing!  We probably live closer than we think. :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 07:04:48 PM
How do you take your coffee?  I'll bring it to you in bed Saturday morning.  Sugar?  I think I'll be taking care of the cream  ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 31, 2016, 07:11:26 PM
Black, cream on the side. We might be to busy for a coffee break.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 07:17:07 PM
Ahhh, but if we take a break or two for some coffee, then I can guarantee the fun goes allllll night long, and all through the day.  Besides, I'm certain will both need to replenish lots of fluids.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 31, 2016, 08:02:45 PM
Definitely should rehydrate.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 08:49:27 PM
I think we should rename this thread-Once again Ladies-The F@ck TTS  thread ;D ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on March 31, 2016, 08:54:41 PM
Or the "cheese and rice, y'all are killing me" thread.  :P
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 31, 2016, 09:00:02 PM
Better yet TTS, start a new thread! LOL
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 31, 2016, 09:09:26 PM
I'm having one of those 'crawling out of my skin' type of evenings.  I need some immediate satisfaction. Lol
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on March 31, 2016, 09:16:41 PM
Me too, Virgo. Just say the word, and instead of having that crawling outta your skin feeling, we both could be having that crawling outta bed, happy, smiling, wobbly kneed feeling after a night of raucous copulation. I'm so revved up, I'd make a run south of your border you'd never forget.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on March 31, 2016, 09:58:03 PM
The visuals of being pleasured south of the border aren't really helping calm me down lol. Not complaining though.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on April 01, 2016, 08:38:56 AM
Cripes. Could someone just f*** me already???
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Bunny on April 01, 2016, 05:03:37 PM
Cripes. Could someone just f*** me already???

Jen, you're reminding me of something I posted on the ywbb's real sex thread:
Enjoy everybody...

https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/561877622.html
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TalksToAngels on April 01, 2016, 06:19:23 PM
Only on Craigslist.
I'm sure she had thousands of offers.
Before the server went down.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on April 01, 2016, 07:21:46 PM
Fucking a ninja! LOL
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on April 02, 2016, 08:05:24 PM
Saturday night, all alone in my house and the power is out. What am I wishing I had right now? A nice pair of Hot Canadian Muffins!!!  8) 8)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on April 03, 2016, 12:04:29 AM
I saw an e-card today that said, Sometimes you just need a hug. In your vagina.  With a penis.  Lol! Sounds about right.

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on April 03, 2016, 08:38:56 AM
I sure miss giving those kinda hugs. I really need to give someone a hug.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on April 03, 2016, 09:37:46 AM
Daily hugs would be ideal, but I would even embrace weekly hugs.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on April 03, 2016, 09:50:31 AM
I wish I thought anyone would ever give me that kind of hug, ever again... :-\ 

I dreamed about those hugs last night. It was lovely, but then I woke up. :(
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on April 03, 2016, 12:15:55 PM
I'm so with you, Jen. I have a similar doubt, and I'm awfully tired of hugging myself. It's just not the same. And Virgo, I'm an everyday hugger myself-when there's someone to hug. Once a week would be a nice start, but I have two and a half years of zero hugging to make up for. So when I do find here, I'm hoping she's all about constant hugging all day for quite a while-with my penis.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on April 03, 2016, 12:53:55 PM
I don't even bother hugging myself anymore. Too much effort for a few seconds of involuntary muscle spasms and twenty minutes of "OMG this is all I have or ever will have FML" agony. :-\

If I could find someone to engage in mutual hugging with, however, the story would change immensely. All day, every day, as often as it could be arranged... ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on April 03, 2016, 02:03:34 PM
Full circle back to ... needing a sex weekend!  Yes, please! 

Jen, I agree with self pleasuring not being very satisfying. Just makes me want the real deal even more.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on April 03, 2016, 08:14:27 PM
Agreed on all fronts.  I've never been one to have sex outside of marriage-long held religious upbringing.  I wonder sometimes if I'm desiring a relationship simply because of my sexual desires, or if I'm really ready?  While I may not go "all the way" I can say that after all I've been through, I would definitely be open to some extremely blurred lines.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mrskro on April 04, 2016, 11:07:08 AM
Is it wrong that a high school ex wants to have drinks saturday and all I can think about is a hug?  In my vagina?  With his penis?  :P
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on April 04, 2016, 11:59:39 AM
Is it wrong that a high school ex wants to have drinks saturday and all I can think about is a hug?  In my vagina?  With his penis?  :P

Absolutely not.  If it is, then I'm in big trouble for reading the last couple pages of this thread and imagining hugging the vagina of several different posters here with my penis!  And it has lots and lots of repeat hugs to give!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mrskro on April 04, 2016, 04:34:28 PM
TTS .....  perfect and I agree I need lots and lots of repeat hugs
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on April 04, 2016, 04:38:38 PM
Where could I come and hug you-a lot-like over and over then 😉?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: RobFTC on April 04, 2016, 04:53:16 PM
The thrust of this conversation is uplifting!

Take care,
Rob T
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: twistedmensa on April 04, 2016, 06:35:57 PM
Indeed, it has been very stimulating; but I don't want to arouse curiosity by beating around the bush.   :-X
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on April 04, 2016, 08:47:32 PM
Okay twistedmensa, I'm totally aroused thinking about beating around your bush. Did I say that out loud?
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: twistedmensa on April 04, 2016, 10:45:17 PM
Okay twistedmensa, I'm totally aroused thinking about beating around your bush. Did I say that out loud?

Tramp! ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: widowat33 on April 05, 2016, 01:41:55 AM
Oh my. I haven't checked in here for a couple of days. I like where this is going...  ;)

So I was sexting this guy, in my hot tub, and well I was able to use both of my hands for typing on my ipad, if you know what I mean. I'm not sure if the credit goes to him or the jets, but really who cares. It was amazing, not as good as the real thing, but very good :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mrskro on April 05, 2016, 12:20:03 PM
Widowat  ... I think I need a hot tub   ;)

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on April 05, 2016, 01:15:43 PM
Intense sex dreams all last night, but as I was putting my groceries away this morning all I could think about was how my husband would come up behind me. Wrap his arms around me, and kiss my neck. That's what I need today. Cuddles and kisses.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Momtojandj on April 05, 2016, 04:53:03 PM
So someone I dated, still friends decided to sneak up on me the other day and grabbed me and laid a hot steamy kiss on me .. OMG .. I just can't stop thinking about it. I just want a huge make out session right now. 😜
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mrskro on April 05, 2016, 06:49:22 PM
I miss huge make out sessions  :( 
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on April 05, 2016, 08:28:14 PM
Once my wife and I were married, she was t much on making out. She wanted to get right to business and have me go for a rough poke in the whiskers. I miss long make out sessions too. The kind that go for hours and get the blood pumping g and build the anticipation.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on April 06, 2016, 04:59:10 PM
The touches, the kisses, the anticipation, the buildup....
This makes the end result...oh so much better.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TormentedTwoStep on April 08, 2016, 02:40:04 PM
The weather has turned a bit cold here.  Seeing as it's the weekend, it sure would be nice to have someone to help me steam up the windows in the house!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Bones on April 08, 2016, 09:26:49 PM
Have not posted in a while. I believe that I am in a place where I can live side by side as a widow, and as someone that is ready to live and love again. All along I have missed intimacy from the little things to the big things.  However, now I have a crush on someone. Now intimacy has a face....and a body...and it is all I can think of.

The man of my affections is 12 years my senior. Had a loveless marriage, is getting divorced, and selling his house. He has a lot going on. In subtle ways he has definitely flirted with me. I am unsure if he is ready to date. Sometimes I wonder if he just does not know how far out a widow has to be to be approached. Sometimes I feel like he is interested, but assumes I'm not because of age and situation. When I do see him, I'm with my oldest daughter who is 18. We have never been able to really talk alone. I occasionally text him, and he does respond. But he has said several times that he does not text much at all. I'm in no rush.

The problem, I'm in constant arousal. I can't stop thinking about doing things to this man, and he to me. I swoon in my head. I catch my breath. I have so much, " energy," right now that I exercise a lot. It helps. Anyone else living this life in their head?!

My plan. I'm taking care of myself. Losing weight, 25 lbs so far. Using kegel weights to tighten the pelvic floor. Sorry those, "Pee Happens," commercials scare the crap out of me. When I actually do have sex ,I want to go through the roof, and knock someone's socks off.

Thanks, I really needed to get this out there.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on April 20, 2016, 02:38:49 PM
I desperately need some naked cuddle time. Maybe with... um... accessories. Or not, but definitely with a real live human.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mrskro on May 04, 2016, 01:51:00 PM
I need a hug, a kiss, someone to cuddle with!   
Naked cuddle time would be a huge bonus!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on May 04, 2016, 05:06:03 PM

Thanks, I really needed to get this out there.

Do you have an update on your crush?? :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Bones on May 06, 2016, 11:51:07 PM
I do.. Slow progress. Almost too slow. Now he has competition. Competition came out of nowhere. Competition has been saying and doing all the right things. So much...that I'm going on a date tomorrow. I like him. I'm excited. I think I'm going to get a kiss out of this. I. Can't. Wait. Who knew something so simple as the thought of a kiss could be... Tantalizing.
Thank you asking.
It is nice to share
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on May 07, 2016, 06:56:08 PM
I hope you're having a great time on your date!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on May 11, 2016, 12:35:29 PM
I had seen this thread but hadn't visited. Now glad I have  :D
So I decided to try online dating. Having never done it before, I found it sort of unnerving, particularly when people I had absolutely no interest in tried to chat me up. However, there is one incredible guy who I've been texting and talking to that revs up the engine. I've never been one to take pictures of myself but I have for him -- nothing that will get me in trouble but it's still strange to find myself doing anything like that. I feel like I'm going to pass out when he says he's going to take a shower. I showed his picture to my dearest friend and all she could say was 'Yum'  ;D I am praying it's not a game and that one day soon we'll meet in person. God and I are having some serious conversations about what's gonna happen on that date ...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on May 23, 2016, 11:15:16 PM
I am having severe skin hunger. A week from today will be my 3 yr sadiversary and I miss his kiss,touch and loving too much.  I hate my life.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Taurus on May 24, 2016, 12:27:25 AM
Hahaha, love this thread! Wish I had something spicy to add to all the levity...but unfortunately, for the time being, something else in me died with the passing of my beloved wife...

Some brief background...

From the time we met, Debs and I hit it off like the proverbial house on fire: we were compatible in just about every way imaginable, emotionally, intellectually, physically - oh yeah, we had a very healthy and energetic sex life. Before our older girl was born, we would have it 3-4 times a day, sneaking out at lunch from her and my work to imbibe! The frequency dropped off a little with the advent of the second daughter but we still had the hots for each other at least 4-5 times a week right up until her diagnosis.

In the last 13 months, I've had opportunities to just do the physical stuff with females I've met through golf, work, social outings etc...but I have backed away each time for no reason other than it did not feel right, that it felt as if I was betraying her. What made it worse was that each of the females involved bore some physical resemblance to my beloved - tall, slim. They still keep in touch with me but there's no developments in the foreseeable future from my end...

I might be celibate for a few years yet LOL!!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on May 24, 2016, 05:19:35 PM
Oh, BrokenHeart2 ... {{{hugs}}}
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on May 24, 2016, 05:20:19 PM
Taurus - you'll know when the time is right ...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on May 24, 2016, 10:35:22 PM
Thanks Arneal.  I miss him so much and in so many ways. I read once, grief of losing your spouse is like the sky, it covers everything.  That resonated with me.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on July 04, 2016, 01:19:34 PM
Forgot how enticing a kiss can be ... and the smell of someone else's skin when hugging ...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on July 06, 2016, 10:57:20 AM
Ohhh... siiiiigh...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: ScorpioGirl on July 09, 2016, 08:24:06 PM
My husband died about 14 months ago, taking into account the time he was sick I haven't had sex for over two years. I didn't think I would ever even want it again but for the last two months haven't been able to think about anything else! I'm constantly checking out dads at school, male patients, work colleagues......imagining what it would be like. Amazing how badly you want something when it's off the table.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on July 09, 2016, 08:30:33 PM
It's been 2 years, three months, and one week since I had sex. I'm climbing out of my skin! I jokingly told my therapist last week that I should find a hook up on Tinder and be done with it. She agreed with me! Then she said she was embarrassed to even suggest such a thing, but it might help!

Sigh. I'm just not that brave. :-/


ETA: My 1000th post. Great. Lol.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: ScorpioGirl on July 09, 2016, 08:40:05 PM
I've been told to do that too but just don't have the confidence in myself. This is so bad.....there's another family at school who lost their mum earlier this year, I've even thought well he's in the same boat as me so maybe he might be interested.......isn't that terrible. I don't want another husband or boyfriend just a shag!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on July 09, 2016, 08:51:56 PM
Yes, exactly! I know perfectly well I'm not in the right place, physically or emotionally, to manage an actual relationship. But I desperately need to get laid!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: ScorpioGirl on July 09, 2016, 09:07:19 PM
I don't think it's even so much about the physicality (although it would be great!) also about just feeling desired and wanted again.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on July 10, 2016, 07:32:39 AM
I don't think it's even so much about the physicality (although it would be great!) also about just feeling desired and wanted again.

Absolutely, that's a huge part of it. They've almost become separate issues for me. I think I crave emotional intimacy more than physical. I've found some creative ways to meet that need-- a close friendship with another wid, leaning on my theatre group and some of my coworkers more than I should, and (I'm embarrassed to admit this) participating in an online chat group.  :-[ It all helps, but it's not perfect. And then there's the physical side of it... aigh.

I miss being safe in my husband's arms and heart and bed. I didn't think I'd ever have to worry about this bullshit, but here I am, floundering around trying to make sense of life as a single person in her 40s. It sucks. And I'm still experiencing skin hunger like you wouldn't believe... except most of you probably would.  :-\
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: SoVerySad on July 11, 2016, 12:15:00 AM
I recently made a friend, completely platonic, who is luckily a hugger like I am. I can't tell you how much I look forward to those hugs. He's a musician I've been going to see perform, so often they are sweaty hugs after his performance is over. I could care less about the sweat. A few weeks ago, he hugged me before one of his shows started. He had clearly just showered before he came and he smelled so good. No cologne, just freshly showered man. Sigh... I had completely suppressed all my physical needs since my husband died. As I'm coming out of my hermit stage and trying to engage in life again, the desire to be found attractive and be touched, hugged, and kissed has started to reappear. Life was easier when those needs were suppressed and not active. I admit it has added to my struggle, as it makes me really sad I no longer have those intimate connections in my life.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on July 11, 2016, 10:54:09 AM
I am with each of you ... It's been quite a few years since I was physical with someone; my husband had prostate cancer and after the surgery, sex changed and then went away completely, for a total of nearly six years before he died. I've never been a highly sexed person but as you said, ScorpioGirl, when the possibility of any closeness is gone, it can be maddening! I have been seeing a guy who I really like and it's all I can do to not grab him whenever we are together. I imagine what it would be like to be intimate with him. SoVerySad -- the hugs, oh my ... the smell of skin ... and he's a great kisser as well. I am praying that it's only a matter of time, but it's just about killing me.  Jen, I agree with you about the bravery. I'm pondering how to perhaps broach the subject in a casual way (is that even a thing when it comes to sex?) without scaring him away ... patience has never been a virtue of mine ...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TofinoMan on July 12, 2016, 01:55:47 AM
I realize that this is largely a ladies thread.
But yes guys miss the intimacy and sex to.
My wife Jenny was actually more aggressive than me.
I'm not complaining, actually the opposite.
But I never had to worry about getting enough because she made sure of it.
I would be trying to get up early and she would literally tackle me back onto the bed and say NO WAY are you leaving here till you have screwed me good.
Or she would just join me in the shower and do a lot more than wash my back.
I'm the guy who went from twice a day was a really slow day, to zero, and maybe never again.
I dream of her tackling me naked onto the bed and going crazy on top of me.
I felt that maybe it was just a guy thing to feel like that....so thank you for making me aware its a 2 way street ladies.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: ScorpioGirl on July 12, 2016, 04:23:07 AM
SoVerySad - you are so lucky, manly hugs are the best. I would love to be wrapped up in a big manly bear hug.
Arneal - good luck, it sounds like you could have something amazing with this man.
TofinoMan - I always assumed it would be the same, if not worse, for a man alone but I guess you can't stereotype someone's libido based on whether they are male or female. If I ever am lucky enough to find love again I will definitely be making the most of it and not giving away the opportunity to have intimacy. I wish I could turn back the clock and make all of those no's when I was tired, stressed, grumpy into lots of yes's!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on July 12, 2016, 01:06:17 PM
Thank you, Tofino -- it is good to hear the male perspective for sure. Yes, Scorpio -- I hope so! I admit that I am concerned about personality differences; I don't rely on astrology but have always been interested in how much people tend to be similar to their zodiac sign traits. I have been reading about how people born under his sign and mine can best get along and have even done some reading on what excites those born under his sign so I (hopefully) don't miss the opportunity should it arise!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Trying on July 12, 2016, 02:23:09 PM
Arneal I will tell you that when I started my post widow relationship after being with my DH 25 years I was shocked at how bold I could be about when where and how when it came to physical intimacy.  I didn't rush into it even though it was all I could think about and I requested he get a physical and STD work up before I would even consider it.  I had no idea what was the norm in dating after being out of it so long but decided I needed to do what was right for me and screw any rules.  It worked out spectacularly!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on July 12, 2016, 02:28:30 PM
Thanks, Trying! Dating is ... weird :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on July 13, 2016, 10:23:33 AM
Warning - superficial post here lol.
So this one guy from kinda far away that I met on an online site texted me a couple photos yesterday ... oh my was he yummy looking. Almost made me want to give the hook up a try. Glad he's not close. Sigh.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on July 14, 2016, 12:49:14 PM
Came across this and thought of this thread....

Copied text in case picture link doesn't work....

“When sex becomes a production or performance, that is when it loses it’s value. Be mutual. Be loud. Be clumsy. Make noises, be quiet, and make a mess. Bite, scratch, push, pull, hold, thrust. Remove pressure from the moment. Love the moment. Embrace it. Enjoy your body; enjoy your partner’s body. Produce sweat, be natural, entice your senses, give into pleasure. Bump heads, miss when you kiss, laugh when it happens. Speak words, speak with your body, speak to their soul. Touch their skin, kiss their goosebumps and play with their hair. Scream, beg, whimper, sigh, let your toes curl, lose yourself. Chase your breath; keep the lights on, watch their eyes when they explode. Forget worrying about extra skin, sizes of parts and things that are meaningless. Save the expectations, take each second as it comes. Smear your make up, mess up your hair, rid your masculinity, and lose your ego. Detonate together, collapse together, and melt into each other.” —Corissa Marie
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on July 14, 2016, 03:00:14 PM
Thanks, momto ... needed that.
Today has been something of a mess. I woke up at 2:30am, couldn't go back to sleep. Cried until about 4:30. Alarm goes off at 4:45. Went to the gym for my usual morning class and it was good. Came home, exhausted. Just feeling low, lonely, and sad. Thank God my dogs love me, even when my eyes are swollen lol.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Needytoo on July 24, 2016, 08:17:01 AM
Big hugs to you Arenal.

I don't think I have ever posted on this thread before but I think it is time I did. Before my husband I had a very good sex life. Unfortunately sex in my marriage wasn't that great ( there I said it). My husband has been gone for three years and it has to be at least 5 years since I had sex. I am craving it so badly. I don't generally remember my dreams but lately they are pretty fantastic. Wish I could turn it into reality.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on July 24, 2016, 01:55:53 PM
Thanks, Needy. My first husband was my 'first' and it was awful, to be honest. I thought I never wanted anyone to touch me again. Abuse can do that ... it can also lead to bad choices, so when the first husband died, I wanted to know if I was as ugly and undesirable as he suggested. Couple of hookups and I was over all that. Met second husband and we were together for 16 years; he gave me an appreciation for intimacy but after getting sicker and dealing with prostate surgery, etc., our sex life disappeared. I wasn't mad about it or anything, didn't really miss it. I think I was so focused on making sure he was okay that it didn't matter as much. Now that I am alone, I desire to be close to a man again.

As an aside, I went out with my 'met online' friend again last night. I have high hopes that we will be intimate one day. His kisses and hugs are amazing and I think he was turned on when we were saying goodnight outside the movie theatre. I could barely stand it so it could have been my overactive imagination ... :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: tybec on August 01, 2016, 03:52:47 PM
Quote
Arneal I will tell you that when I started my post widow relationship after being with my DH 25 years I was shocked at how bold I could be about when where and how when it came to physical intimacy.  I didn't rush into it even though it was all I could think about and I requested he get a physical and STD work up before I would even consider it.  I had no idea what was the norm in dating after being out of it so long but decided I needed to do what was right for me and screw any rules.  It worked out spectacularly!

Ditto to this.  4 yrs., 3 months no sex after DH died in a terrible car accident.  I was fortunate to have learned to have great sex with the only guy I dated since age 14.  First date with on line guy.  Kiss on the cheek.  I developed all these rules of what I thought I would and wouldn't do.  I waited a while, but told him about the term I learned here, "skin hunger".  His wife left him suddenly in the same yr. my DH died, so he related, although he had a long term girlfriend shortly after his wife left.  He got it.  He never pressured but gave me enough communication he found me desirable.  So, we have been together 5 months now.  I don't know where we are going with this ..  But it is ALL good.  NEVER would I have envisioned this. 
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on August 01, 2016, 04:02:04 PM
Thanks, tybec -- I am not a person who rushes by nature and I see he has that same trend. However, he's been more touchy-feely of late, not in a bad way or an overly sexualized way, but it seems natural. I'm teaching myself to enjoy the process. Interestingly, he was over for dinner on Saturday and while we were outside chatting after the meal, my neighbor (who was a bit inebriated) walked by with her dog. She was trying to be nosy and I was sort of rude as I did not introduce her ... anyway, in the midst of her conversation, she looks me up and down and announces, 'Dang, you're looking sexy today, girl!' I was so embarrassed in front of this man, I can't even tell you. As one of my friends said, it's all so junior high :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on August 07, 2016, 11:57:07 AM
Hope this isn't TMI ...

Had a great evening with the guy I've been spending time with. To be honest, he makes me weak in the knees lol. Last night was about closeness and intimacy, not sex so much, even though we tied it up a little ... I missed that. The feeling and scent of someone else's skin. Spooning. Can't wait to touch him again ...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: sdarrah1130 on August 08, 2016, 07:24:24 AM
My sex life with my DH was very vanilla and became almost non existent at the end.  He took lots of medication for post kidney transplant and I think the meds suppressed much of the wants.   I tried many time and got shut down, so at some point I just stopped trying.  Let him initiate...... 

When I started dating NG, WOW things changed.  Apparently there was a lot, lets say, suppressed.  Intimacy and sex is whole new ball game and I LOVE it and I LOVE him. 
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on August 15, 2016, 11:47:50 AM
There is something about the smell of someone else's skin ... feeling their breathing on the back of your neck when spooning ... I didn't realize how much I missed that. New guy is more touchy-feelie than my previous husband and while I thought I wouldn't like that, I find myself enjoying it. I think it just feels ... natural. With my previous husband, it felt very different. Not bad, but I wasn't used to it. Maybe he taught me what I should like about it and now I've figured it out with ng. Sigh.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on August 29, 2016, 12:02:20 PM
Sharing a real orgasm. Mutual sweat.

That is all.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on August 30, 2016, 10:17:25 AM
"When you touch a woman, make sure she enjoys it."

          -a wise elder to a young adult male
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on August 30, 2016, 10:28:06 AM
Yes! Momto -- that is so true. I was commiserating yesterday about my first marriage, which was (between living together and marriage) a nine-year stint in hell ... the bad choice of getting involved as a young, clueless, idealistic woman. He was my first sexual partner and I was nothing more than a conquest and subsequent receptacle. He didn't take an interest in my pleasure or even to teach me. Thank God for my second husband, who was abundantly patient. I am praying that NG turns out to be a keeper since I thoroughly enjoy being close to him. We are learning each other's good touches, which is a new experience for me now that I have a clue as to what I'm doing LOL  :o
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on September 19, 2016, 10:36:08 PM
Soooo ... for those who are involved in intimate relationships again: do you find yourself thinking about the next time you'll get to be with that person? I think I'm making myself crazy because I enjoy intimacy with NG quite a bit and find myself thinking about our previous encounters for days in anticipation for the next time we're together ...  :o
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on October 01, 2016, 06:52:23 PM
Soooo ... for those who are involved in intimate relationships again: do you find yourself thinking about the next time you'll get to be with that person? I think I'm making myself crazy because I enjoy intimacy with NG quite a bit and find myself thinking about our previous encounters for days in anticipation for the next time we're together ...  :o

Once you start you realize just how much you missed it and you can't get enough! At least in my experience.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on October 01, 2016, 06:56:28 PM
Yes, momto, that sums it up  :D
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on November 27, 2016, 08:57:42 PM
My hormones are not playing fair.....

The skin hunger is driving me nuts!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: klim on November 27, 2016, 09:16:41 PM
i was out last night to a pub....at one point I was surrounded by 4 guys just all involved in a conversation.....so at times I lost my train of thought because I was going...yummm. No potential suitors in the bunch but still nice to be surrounded and they're good guys.


But yes ...want some yummm.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on November 27, 2016, 09:28:02 PM
So funny klim....
I was at a regular meetup today. It's not a singles one. For the first hour and a half it was me and 3 guys having a great conversation. Same as you, good guys, but no potential suitors....but the mind does wander when the hormones are racing.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on November 28, 2016, 08:06:37 PM
This may be a TMI, so I'll apologize ahead of time :)

I think my body has rebooted. My first husband (the first person I was with ever) was not an attentive lover and so I envisioned that I would not want to have sex after that. My second husband was attentive, but it wasn't a favorite past time for me, which I know was frustrating for him as he enjoyed it. Eventually, his health made it impossible for us to have sex and I was okay with that, even though I did desire the feelings occasionally. Fast forward to now with NG: I think of him and want it. There are times when we are close but don't have sex and I'm okay, even though I'm often thinking of jumping him lol. He's away for a while for work and I am already looking forward to when he comes back ...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on December 10, 2016, 12:46:17 AM
Consistency is what I want!!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on December 21, 2016, 08:20:16 PM
I need a sex weekend!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on December 21, 2016, 08:42:36 PM
I made a gift for NG - a sex coupon book  ;D
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: tybec on December 22, 2016, 08:24:59 AM
Arneal!

How fun!  YOU go! ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on December 26, 2016, 12:17:46 PM
The coupon book was a success -- he was very surprised. The other gifts were appreciated as well. The funniest moment: one of the coupons was for a fulfillment of a fantasy; he says his fantasies are pretty boring (never gave an example though) and when I said it didn't matter because he was the coupon holder, he giggled. Should make for an interesting new year  ;D
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: klim on January 01, 2017, 05:10:33 PM
I just want hugs and kisses....not really sex but it's what I want right now!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: RyanAmysMom on January 01, 2017, 07:16:10 PM
Holy freaking hell, people!  I got on here and read a little - and now I can't think!  It's been 18 months since my husband passed - and he had been ill prior to his passing, so it's been too long....... Oh that desire to have skin contact with someone - in any form......

I'm not sure I'm capable of having a relationship at this point, but I contacted a man and asked him to meet me for coffee this week......  I pray I can control my thoughts and behavior!  If anything happens, I blame all of you!!!!  :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on January 02, 2017, 12:42:10 PM
RyanAmysMom -- I think we'll all shoulder the blame happily  ;D

My LH had prostate cancer surgery in 2007, so intimacy changed dramatically for us all of a sudden and for the next nine years was basically cuddling and kissing only. I was never one who wanted sex much, most likely because of the first husband (I've posted enough about him around these boards so I won't go into it here ...). Anyway, when LH died last year after other lengthy illnesses, I found myself in a weird new place. He'd told me and our former pastor that one of his biggest fears was that I'd be alone for the rest of my life (he knows I'm not a big 'people person') and I realized pretty quickly that I didn't want to be alone forever. I suddenly had that skin hunger. Being a caregiver had caused me to not attend much to intimacy. After LH died, I realized it had been about 25 years total (between first husband's death, being a single mom, remarrying, second husband's illness, son leaving home, second husband's death) that I'd spent caring for others and not focusing on my needs and desires.

I first started seeing NG last May and was about to go out of my mind the first time he kissed me -- I thought I was going to rip his clothes off! However, I managed to keep my cool and eventually we got together. I am grateful but there are days when I can't think of anything but being with him ... greedy, I suppose  :P
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on January 02, 2017, 10:55:30 PM
I honestly just want to be held by someone that wants me, not just sex. I've been avoiding sex because of everything that's going on with my dad. I want the emotional connection, comfort, and support right now. Not just sex.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on January 03, 2017, 12:17:44 PM
So important, Virgo. It's about developing a connection. The problem is that the scammers try to take advantage of widows and widowers ... they see us as vulnerable open wallets so many times it seems. However, as you know what you want, you can more clearly see the fakes. It's nice to have someone to talk to and go out with, someone who wants to be around us for the people we are. If sex is in the cards, it'll happen.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on January 03, 2017, 07:21:57 PM
I'm ready for a connection, a relationship. I haven't been approached by scammers, but plenty of guys just wanting sex. That's not a bad thing, but just not what I want right now. Of course that could change too.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: wecouldbeheros on January 04, 2017, 06:06:05 PM
I'm looking for intellect.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on January 08, 2017, 05:15:11 PM
There is something about the closeness of intimacy, the smell of another human being when aroused, the electricity of being touched all over, of desiring and being desired, hearing breathing and feeling it on the back of your neck ...
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: trying2breathe on January 10, 2017, 11:36:20 AM
arneal  Where is that like button? 


The closest physical contact that I've had since DH died 3 years ago, is slow dancing with paddle board dude.  We were at a bar with live music when a slow song came on.   I can't even say how much I LOVED holding him close and moving in rhythm.  I'm not one to get into a sexual relationship until there's a commitment, at least I don't think I am - but that night I woke up to feeling sexual again.  I pretty much had turned everything off for 3 years. 


I'm not sure that there's a future relationship with paddle board dude, but whew!!  I need to find a boyfriend!  ::)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on January 10, 2017, 12:57:31 PM
Thanks, trying -- since I stepped into this whirlpool of a dating world I had to do a lot of reading as I know nothing about dating (first relationship in college turned to marriage and lasted for 9 hard years, was alone for a bit and then started seeing the man who became my second husband and that lasted for a total of 16 years, so 25 years that didn't include dating). One thing that seems part of the whole modern scene is this idea of commitment. Today, it's common for it to exist without labels ... without the two people telling folks they are a 'thing'. It seems a lot more casual in general. I don't pressure NG to call me his girlfriend and I've only referred to him as my boyfriend once or twice and then in writing to a friend. Personally as an almost 50-year-old, I feel funny calling a 52-year-old man my 'boyfriend'  :P Semantics ... the bottom line is that we are exclusive; we are on the same page about monogamy and didn't become sexually active without that understanding. I only have my son nearby for family, but he hasn't met NG. I've met NG's daughter briefly during the holidays. The commitment is there and shows up in ways that are funny to me, like he is upgrading his motorcycle and was very clear about having a helmet for me and making sure the new seat will be comfortable for us. He plans trips together. And this one time I posted something on social media about getting random friend requests from men I didn't know, he made sure to respond that whoever they are, they better go away. It was especially funny to me because he was on the road for work at the time and followed his comment by saying he'd be home in a couple days  :)

I do find myself enjoying the physical connection with him more than I ever thought I would. The first husband was all about his own pleasure and cared nothing about mine. My LH was attentive but I was still quite guarded after the first marriage. Now, I feel very free and am about both NG and my enjoyment.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: trying2breathe on January 11, 2017, 06:34:48 PM
arneal  Yup, the sex thing - this is all so new to me that I'm not really sure what I want to do.  I think that I'll try to wait for a committed relationship, whatever it's labeled  :D  and as I'm in my 50's won't expect to call him boyfriend!  I appreciate the heads up on this - it does seem juvenile at my age.   


My daughter leaves for her first year of college in the fall - I feel like now's the time for me to get out there and get something going.  Whole new world out there - I'm hopeful.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on January 11, 2017, 07:26:52 PM
Good for you, trying. I have a friend whose son left this year. However, she has a crazy work schedule and he comes home on holidays pretty regularly. She is our age and I struggle when she asks for dating advice because she is more conservative than I (for example, no sex until married).
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on January 12, 2017, 01:06:25 PM
I caved and met up with my fwb last night. No regrets!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on January 12, 2017, 01:32:07 PM
:) Missing that like button, Virgo. I am looking forward to the weekend myself in hopes of connection ... sigh.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on January 12, 2017, 02:06:27 PM
It had been over a month for me. To long! I ideally want an exclusive relationship, but until then...

I hope you get that connection this weekend Arneal!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on January 12, 2017, 02:20:33 PM
You know, it's funny. For years I could go without even thinking about sex. Now, with NG, I find that I crave it. I do my best to be patient and not jump him when he comes in the door lol!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on January 12, 2017, 02:49:11 PM
My drive has always been the same...overdrive! A month was very difficult for me. :) It's good that you desire him!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on January 12, 2017, 04:24:40 PM
Eek -- desire is putting it mildly! It's crazy!  :o :o
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on January 13, 2017, 05:26:49 PM
I'm really missing and needing the physical touch....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Needytoo on January 14, 2017, 08:11:22 AM
Best sex I ever had was with my first husband.  We went out throughout high school and got married.  Unfortunately, the marriage ended after 10 months, we only spoke once since our separation. 

He has contacted me through Facebook and lets just say.......hot sex memories are filling my brain.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: oneoftwo on January 14, 2017, 11:30:22 AM
I miss all of it. The quiet winks across a room, the gentle slip of a hand up a shirt in the kitchen, the fact that we told each other that EVERYTHING that happened each day was fore play.

It's hard not having that anymore
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on January 15, 2017, 03:39:48 PM
As much as I disliked the first husband and as much as I loved my second husband, sex was nothing like it is now with NG. I am grateful to have experienced good stuff, finally. I am expecting that we will be involved for a good long time.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: SunshineFL on January 18, 2017, 07:08:50 PM
Friends, I have never posted to this thread, but have quietly observed a shift happening over time that might be of concern to others.  I'd like to offer a few words that others might be feeling and not saying - in kindness and with absolute respect to all - understanding that we are all just doing our best to figure this stuff out.

In no way do I intend to create a chilling effect from anyone posting their thoughts here freely and respect everyone's right to do so, but in the same vein, would like to mention a sensitivity for, or perhaps a courtesy awareness needed, that others might be feeling and not saying.

There are some on their widowed journey who have gone days, weeks, months, years and even decades without an intimate loving connection with another that they crave deeply - we are human.  Historically, this "kagill's real sex, what are you needing" thread was the forum for that virtual, playful sharing of all that was not in reach at that particular time in one's real life.  It was not necessarily a place to say how hard it is to wait five days until the weekend to have sex with your committed partner who you are in a relationship with and with whom you are enjoying having your emotional, physical and other human needs met.

Sometimes it sounds like flaunting in a space where there are those that are yearning for exactly the situation some are enjoying, getting to have in their real lives and are describing in detail.  Without a doubt, so happy for everyone in finding new happiness in whatever form it comes - so very much deserved. 

I thought that the occasional posts would fade on their own, but since they haven't, I hope my gentle words will help foster a sensitivity and consideration towards all.  There are relationship, remarriage and recoupled boards for conversations related to those loving new partnerships.

Just a sensing, pointed to no person or persons in particular, with caring for all.
Take what resonates and please leave the rest. Always wish the best for everyone in this forum.

Okay then, please carry on with sharing "what are you needing" any time ... here is your safe, STD-free, drama-free, imagination-filled place to have some fun....enjoy and be well, friends.


Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on January 18, 2017, 07:39:24 PM
I'm needing that knowing glance across a room...a simple word...the all day suggestive foreplay over text or phone...the buildup...the anticipation...

Not to mention what comes after all that buildup...

Getting my clothes ripped off would help too!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: arneal on January 18, 2017, 11:19:55 PM
Thank you, Sunshine -- as one who has posted as such, I apologize to any and all who have felt offended. Praying that everyone here finds what they need and deserve  :-*
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: RyanAmysMom on January 21, 2017, 10:28:17 PM
The excitement of the phone call.  The breathless acceptance of a dinner invitation.
Taking extra time in getting ready to go out.....
Surprised that he MADE dinner!  And that grin at the door when he opens it.....
And his cologne.......  ahhhh..
candles burning.... feeding each other across the table.... making a point of licking my lips seductively....
kissing across the table... suddenly not feeling hungry for food at all.... 

Yeah... that's what I need.....  sigh.....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: tybec on January 23, 2017, 10:03:06 AM
Waking up everyday next to someone you trust with your life.  The human touch, the security.  My DH said he could never sleep well when I was away.  He hugged me like a teddy bear and insisted on a queen bed as a king bed was too large; he couldn't find me  ;).  Never realized how much I took that for granted all those 21 years. 
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: RobFTC on January 23, 2017, 11:15:30 PM
My hug quota has been much better of late, but they have all been standing or sitting.  I would most like to hold someone, all night, who didn't mind my hand wandering some.  OK, maybe a lot!

Take care,
Rob T
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: iloveyoualways on January 24, 2017, 12:32:46 AM
Anything really. I've become a born again virgin. But I'm scared now that the psychological wall that I've been building will prevent any closeness whatsoever.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Needytoo on January 24, 2017, 06:31:34 PM
I understand iloveyoualways, but I am ready to climb that wall or take it down brick by brick. 

Need some skin!!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Mrskro on January 25, 2017, 09:52:06 AM
I'm pretty sure I can be classified as a virgin again  :(   I need sex, hot sweaty sex!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: MrsDan on January 26, 2017, 07:58:55 AM
Anything really. I've become a born again virgin. But I'm scared now that the psychological wall that I've been building will prevent any closeness whatsoever.

I don't know if this helps, but I thought the very same thing (and there are plenty of people on this board who I think can attest to the walls that I put up). I really didn't think I was capable of the relationship that I now have, but it happened. :)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: TooSoon on January 26, 2017, 08:51:09 AM
Anything really. I've become a born again virgin. But I'm scared now that the psychological wall that I've been building will prevent any closeness whatsoever.

I don't know if this helps, but I thought the very same thing (and there are plenty of people on this board who I think can attest to the walls that I put up). I really didn't think I was capable of the relationship that I now have, but it happened. :)

Ditto.  I, too, was once where MrsDan was.  The posts no longer exist but I know I posted multiple manifestos about how I would never, ever be in a relationship ever again.  But, happily, I was wrong.  Sending support. 
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: iloveyoualways on January 28, 2017, 03:05:58 AM
Thanks for the support ladies! Early on I had a steamy affair with a much younger man. I went through the skin hunger and I wanted to pounce on every hot male in every store. Now, I've realized that I'm not as desirable as I once was. I had boyfriends or serious relationships from 15 to being widowed at 36. The experience has aged me even though I get at least one smile from a guy per day. Widowhood has destroyed my self esteem. When my husband went skiing and never came home it was like the ultimate abandonment. It's not rational but who would want me and my child? If there is someone, I really fear great loss like no other. I'm doomed!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: tybec on January 28, 2017, 07:28:18 AM
Iloveyoualways, 

I read your post and it resonated.  I felt ultimately abandoned and unworthy.  I accepted I would not find another love now in my 40s.   And I had an 8 yr. old. Having a kid in my mid 30s after yrs. of infertility, and bye bye bikini days.  Since I dated DH since high school, he had me at what I thought was my best. 

I started gaining weight and dressed dowdy.  I quit working out, something I loved and did for yrs.  Then I decided I didn't want to be alone.   Long story, but I am the least happy physically with me, but I am the best human I have ever been.  And my NG loves this, all of it.  I want to work out again, now, but goals are different.  Health, strength, feeling good, not a certain number or size.  And my NG tells me I am beautiful! 

Hang in there.  Winter may be here but spring will arrive.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Adley on January 28, 2017, 09:03:17 AM
Tybec, 'health, strength, and feeling good'. Yes indeed! Hell with the dictates of society!
   Iloveyoualways, you are not doomed. You're still getting the smiles. It is just a matter of time between now and later when you get the mental and emotional connection you will both need. I had some 'rush' in my system too. Now that its gone I can see clearly (accidental paraphrase, but maybe relevant) and look at things for what they are. Things change. We all know that all too well. Time and chance. . . . . Keep going!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: RobFTC on January 28, 2017, 10:25:17 PM
iloveyoualways,

We've met in person, and I thought you were attractive - and you know that I believe in you.  You know that I know how hard it can be to believe something good is coming, but it can!

Take care,
Rob T
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on January 29, 2017, 08:53:36 PM
I miss spooning and waking up next to my love.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Julester3 on January 30, 2017, 10:48:26 AM
I miss my husband's frisky hands, his covert kisses when I least expected them, and his confident smirk all the while. Well, thinking about it at least brings a smile to my mind now where I used to be devastated and sad. 
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on February 18, 2017, 12:23:11 PM
Well, apparently I am not totally equipped with the tools to help with SOME of the things I am needing. 😁

It seems a friend has taken it upon herself to priority mail me some things for my birthday....It will be quite entertaining to see what arrives! 😎
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: klim on February 18, 2017, 05:22:16 PM
Mom to kam ...That's funny

I apparently am braver in the online shopping mode. .....sometime in November I had  a glass of wine and went online shopping....The order took a couple of weeks and I kinda forgot about it. My son picked up the mail /package. and said what's this?

 Luckily it was close enough to christmas that I told him it was a something I had ordered for him for christmas and that he wasn't to open it


...... I spent a couple of shopping trips trying to find a gift for him that would have come in a similar size box!!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on February 19, 2017, 12:07:12 AM
...... I spent a couple of shopping trips trying to find a gift for him that would have come in a similar size box!!


I can only imagine! Hahahaha!!!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Bear Shannon on February 23, 2017, 09:57:50 PM
Cunnilingus

I miss it and am very good a it.  8)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: tybec on February 24, 2017, 06:46:56 AM
HAHAHAHAHAH BEAR!

That made me laugh. I assure you, if you really need that, some women will gladly oblige!  But I know you want it all, too. 

 ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: klim on March 06, 2017, 08:10:59 PM
yes please sex would be nice, but with someone I love.....soft at first and then more passionate...then tired and happy.    mmmmmm....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on March 25, 2017, 03:12:05 PM
I need to be pulled in close, my face held and have a man whisper in my ear and tell me what he wants to do to me....
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Julester3 on March 25, 2017, 08:36:10 PM
I'm suffering from skin deprivation - really bad. I need touch and foreplay. Le sigh!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: jgib on April 06, 2017, 12:47:40 PM
DH and I had a great sex life....very active.  I miss it so much.  I think it is not just sex I miss but sex with him!
This is the longest I have ever gone without.  Man, 4 months in was the longest let alone 3 years!  lol
I have never had a one night stand, I am more comfortable having a connection with someone.  I guess I have never had sex for sex sake.....I suppose I feel like I can do that for myself. ☺️
My last first time I was in my 20s....sigh....how do we start all over again at this stage in life.
I am so glad I found this place to say the things nobody else can understand.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on April 23, 2017, 09:42:52 AM
The struggle is real between wanting sex and knowing I deserve more than just that. 😔
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on April 23, 2017, 10:35:05 PM
Yes...all of the last 2 posts.  It's been over 4 yrs for me.  UGH  longest ever in my adult life.  I just figure it will happen when it happens.  I sure as hell dont want a just whatever at this point, I want a YEAH!!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Christopher on August 19, 2017, 05:32:55 PM
The struggle is real between wanting sex and knowing I deserve more than just that. 😔

Same here. It's why I am dying every day to suppress the monogamous hypersexuality my DW left me with. I have a desperate need for affection outside of sex too and to express that affection for someone else who will gladly receive it. I cannot find anyone who wants that near my age who isn't married or divorced. I have probably been looking in the wrong places.


Bear raised an eyebrow on a topic I am expert at.
From time to time I've instructed lesbians on cunnilingus. They have always reported a substantial improvement. I took notes before marriage so I would be good at what I did when I lost my virginity. The study paid off. If you need some how-to, hit me up and I'll share ;)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on August 19, 2017, 08:37:30 PM
Where do I sign up?  :P
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Christopher on August 25, 2017, 04:57:05 PM
Where do I sign up?  :P

Typically in the Message box but you could start a thread about it too. Widowbagos don't happen often enough.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Wheelerswife on August 25, 2017, 05:48:26 PM
Where do I sign up?  :P

Typically in the Message box but you could start a thread about it too. Widowbagos don't happen often enough.

Widowbagos have never been about hookups.  They are about friendships and supporting each other.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: calimom on August 25, 2017, 11:38:23 PM
Where do I sign up?  :P

Typically in the Message box but you could start a thread about it too. Widowbagos don't happen often enough.

Widowbagos have never been about hookups.  They are about friendships and supporting each other.

Thank you, Maureen. And seriously, Christopher and Jen, take it offline or get a room. Something. Jeez.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Christopher on August 26, 2017, 04:22:16 AM
Where do I sign up?  :P

Typically in the Message box but you could start a thread about it too. Widowbagos don't happen often enough.

Widowbagos have never been about hookups.  They are about friendships and supporting each other.

Intimacy begins with friendship. One cannot exist without the other.

I do not have any form of support. This has been true since I was 5 and lost my parents. I suppose I'll have to go back into personal psychotherapy mode again...
(My late wife was also an unwanted child and her family doesn't talk to me)

To the other post: Get a room?
Nothing ever happens on the internet. It only happens in real life. So long as technology is a barrier, nothing is truly serious.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Jen on August 26, 2017, 10:21:44 AM
My deepest apologies for my flippant, off-the-cuff remark. It happened to be what I was thinking as I perused the last few posts on this thread, and I foolishly hit send. Those four words (and an emoji, mustn't forget) represent the whole extent of my interaction with Christopher, who is, I'm sure, a very nice person in (like all of us here) a lousy situation. At that particular moment I identified strongly with his expression of grief and loss regarding the absence of intimacy (physical and emotional). Silly me, I thought it was all right to say so in this thread, given its previously uncensored nature. My bad; won't happen again.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: jgib on August 26, 2017, 10:29:19 AM
Jen, I don't think an apology is needed.  I happen to like when people express themselves without the filters that I seem to put on myself...... I admire it.....
Let judges, judge, but don't let them change you.  Shrug your shoulders and move on.  That is what seems to work for me......
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Bluebird on August 26, 2017, 11:49:44 AM
Hi everyone,

I can see that things got a little iffy on this post lately and I wanted to share a couple of thoughts.

This thread has a long history, both here on widda and previously on YWBB, of providing a safe place for our members to share what is on their mind regarding sex, intimacy, skin hunger etc. As such, it can get risqué.

The other thought is that if a particular post is of concern to you, there is always the opportunity to report the post to a moderator. This happens on an intermittent basis and the moderating team do our best to ensure that our guidelines for the board are met, and if not, the poster is advised (privately) that an alternative approach is needed.

Thanks so much! Bluebird.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on August 26, 2017, 01:01:27 PM
Jen, I also didn't see anything wrong with what you posted.  I have to admit I had a problem with the comment about widdowbagos not happening enough (not made by you).  I certainly do not want anyone thinking they are get together's for anything other than support and friendship.  Especially for the newbies since this is not a known term.  Plus they/we are vulnerable enough as it is which could turn people off checking out a bago some time.
Hugs to all.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: serpico on August 26, 2017, 01:50:54 PM
Thank you, Maureen. And seriously, Christopher and Jen, take it offline or get a room. Something. Jeez.

More like Calimoderator  ::)
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on August 26, 2017, 03:02:44 PM
That is uncalled for serpico.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Trying on August 26, 2017, 10:45:19 PM
Lighten up folks! This is a thread that goes from somewhat serious talk of needs and desires to the light hearted fun and raunchy. If you don't like the playful nature of the posts skip it and read another thread.  Many people here are raw and vulnerable on the subject of loss of physical intimacy in widowhood. No one should feel bad about expressing that seriously or jokingly.

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: calimom on August 27, 2017, 01:01:03 AM
Jen, hope you're ok, sounds like you're going through a rough patch.

I do appreciate a good conversation here, i't helpful when different viewpoints can be discussed. Glad you all thought everything was aboveboard. Its true, this is an anything goes thread. While one or two of us found a few things off base, not everyone did, and that's what makes us all unique. I'm certainly no prude and not interested in being a hall monito.  I greatly appreciate the efforts of the moderators here.  And Serpico and Trying, absolutely love that both of you are ducking into this particular forum! That's really fun!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Abitlost on August 27, 2017, 03:30:07 PM
And Serpico and Trying, absolutely love that both of you are ducking into this particular forum! That's really fun!

Calimom,

Was this necessary? No matter how I interpret your comment, it seems passive aggressive.

abl
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Christopher on August 28, 2017, 12:17:44 AM
It seems like so many of us are terribly sexually frustrated. There's only one sure way to fix that with the assurance that we won't have that need again (unless we are widowed once more).

I personally am deeply interested in finding someone new to love on. At this rate I may just have to go outside of the norm and cradle rob due to the lack of interested parties my own age.

Life just happens. Deal with it or don't, it will keep on happening. If you don't deal with it, it makes an unholy mess that you won't like cleaning up. If you do deal with it, great job!
Keep moving forward. Some days it seems like you can't, but you find that even though you are numb with ... well, numb with everything, that you indeed can move forward. Make sure that "forward" isn't dangerous first. You can make this judgment call quite effortlessly. Stop doubting yourself.

I find that fear is typically the largest barrier to your own living of life. Take your time.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on August 28, 2017, 01:15:50 PM
I agree...no filtering, no judgement.  We should feel comfortable expressing our feelings here with others we know understand. That's why we joined Widda.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on August 29, 2017, 05:43:11 PM
I haven't been on these boards for a while.
Taking a break for a bit. I guess maybe it was a good thing.

I have to say, I'm really disappointed at this last exchange.
Jen said nothing inappropriate for this thread, in any way, shape, or form.

If you feel the need to pass judgement, try and resist and scroll on by. I would hope no one will ever be this judgemental on anything you may post.

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Wheelerswife on August 29, 2017, 06:19:18 PM
Just in case anyone took my post incorrectly, it's purpose was to clarify what bagos are about. I should have been more careful with the quote I used, because it had nothing to do with Jen's post.

I have already personally apologized to Jen for my error. I will be more careful in the future.

Maureen
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Christopher on August 30, 2017, 11:06:28 PM
I felt heavily judged for expressing myself. I felt alienated and like I did something wrong by following the thread's context, content and purpose.

I had hope for this site. I was incorrect.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on September 02, 2017, 01:48:54 PM
Christopher, you did nothing wrong and nothing out of context for this thread. I'm sorry. 
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Adley on September 03, 2017, 05:26:31 PM
Hey guys, everything's cool. Let's just chalk it up to the weather and the eclipse. Much love for all of you!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on September 03, 2017, 08:37:56 PM
Well said Adley.  And another factor could be a lack of something else  ;) LOL
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Adley on September 03, 2017, 09:22:38 PM
Lol. May be a tiny bit of pent up frustration out here. But we're all friends!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: SunshineFL on September 04, 2017, 05:25:21 PM
I'm saddened to read the turn this conversation took to the point that members felt unsupported, judged and alienated on a thread that is completely about raw and real expression of the human experience and our post-widowhood need for intimacy on all levels.  Having personally been on the receiving end of an unprovoked snarky post by the same individual, I know how it can sting, but I also know it wasn't a reflection of me but of her or however she was feeling at the time.  Let's remember to be gentle with each other, that we are all so fragile here and there is no tone in text/in writing; feelings can so easily be hurt.   Kristin started this thread on the old board and MissingMyJoan made sure it made its way here to continue on. Christopher and Jen didn't do anything wrong at all in their fun exchanges, but I see @Christopher posted, "I came, I saw, I tried, I left."  And @Jen felt the need to apologize?  Over nothing.  How sad - where this should be a place of caring and support and non-judgmental expression.  Clicking back a few pages and it is clear to see that the expressive writing, sexy banter, dreams shared, erotic imagery, and passionate yearnings run the spectrum.  I join the others who have posted kindly in support and encourage anyone who wants to jump in and share their "real sex, what are you needing" to do so freely and without fear of anything or anyone. You be you.  There are enough challenges on our healing journeys; fielding barbs from places of safe haven should not be among them.
Warm wishes, friends.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on September 04, 2017, 06:02:17 PM
Alrighty then, now back to this regularly scheduled thread as it should be.
It's been over 4 yrs and holy shit do I have skin hunger, no more like skin starvation!! The crazy thing is if it was presented to me I really have no idea what I would do.  It could go one way or another! I sure know what I need LOL!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Trying on September 04, 2017, 06:29:42 PM
BH2 it is my opinion that a skin starved widow should be every man's dream!  Any man would be lucky to let you figure out exactly what you want to do😉
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: momtokam on September 05, 2017, 09:57:09 AM
You betcha Trying!
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: oneoftwo on September 06, 2017, 01:05:00 AM
Well I need a lot of things, none of which I will mention here.
The one thing I will say I need- someone to hold hands in public with.
Someone I want to do that with, someone who wants to do that back.

I feared for a long time that I might never have sex again- so far, so true.

But I recently realized I might not ever hold someone's hand again, and that's a pretty tough thing to realize.

Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on September 06, 2017, 01:43:51 AM
OOT I couldn't agree more.  There was so much we took for granted only to realize how much we miss those little gestures that came so naturally to show our love.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: Virgo on September 10, 2017, 04:03:50 PM
I need sex, but I want more than just sex. I feel like I'm wasting my life. I'm not fully enjoying it.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on September 10, 2017, 05:51:01 PM
Ditto Virgo! Me too.
Title: Re: kagill's Real Sex, what are you needing?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on September 19, 2017, 03:49:28 AM
My fingers trace around the soft skin of your breasts as my warm tongue reaches out and draws your nipples, first one then the other into my mouth, my lips wet against your hot skin as your chest begins to heave with the heavy breath and moans of delight.  Your lips, the ones gliding in my lap, envelop me, hot and wet against my pulsing, throbbing manhood rising stiff and warm within your loins.

Our eyes meet and in the rush of passion our lips meet, mouths open.  My tongue mimicking the movement of my essence in you, both below and above.  I reach up and gently, but forcefully pull your hair down towards your shoulder blades.  Your supple neck stretching forth as my tongue glides down, across your clavicles and along your breasts once more.  Your back is arched and we've fallen into the torrid rhythm we've both been denied for much too long.  You feel my strong thighs rise beneath your hips with each successive thrust.  You become more and more wet as we begin to move faster in perfect rhythm.  You gliding up and down as I thrust the feeling of satin wrapped steel deep into your very being.  It feels as though we've melted into one another.  Hot, steamy, skin on skin, where do I end and you begin.  With a loud sigh of pleasure your body spasms in uncontrollable ecstasy as we've reached a point of no return together.  I grown a deep, manly growl as my strong arms glide down your sides, my hands grabbing your hips and pulling you into me as I deliver one final thrust that feels as if it's filling your whole body with a fast rush of warmth.......


▲▲▲ Yes please! ▲▲▲