Young Widow Forum

Time Frame => Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months) => Topic started by: SieOma on March 09, 2015, 05:54:41 PM

Title: Check In
Post by: SieOma on March 09, 2015, 05:54:41 PM
This section is too quiet. I realize the move was quite something to deal with, but please just let us know you are here. Members are trying to get everybody moved, so a check in would be helpful.

Thanks, and I am so sorry YWBB let you down...
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: Jen on March 09, 2015, 08:46:36 PM
I've been wondering about this too... I know we have newbies, somewhere between here and the proboards forum. Climb onto the raft, guys-- here's a hand. Promise we won't let you down. ((((HUGS))))
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: Chrispy89 on March 10, 2015, 02:43:31 AM
hola! I'm almost at 6 months, but pretty sure I was one of the last groups of people to be approved (in December). I worry a lot of people would have been waiting to be approved after signing up and have missed the boat to this new board...
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: singinmomo4 on March 10, 2015, 06:49:46 AM
I suspect you are right Chrispy.   :-[
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: LostMyCharles on March 10, 2015, 10:41:14 AM
I'm here! I'm holding on to the raft with every last bit of my strength.

I don't want to speak for other new widdas, but for me it's daunting to consider creating a new thread. I guess I feel like, since most of you who are long-timers and have been there, done that, you've seen the same topics over and over and over.  I can't possibly bring anything new/original to the conversation.

I WILL speak for the others, though, when I say THANK YOU for being here for us and letting us know that it is possible to move through the grief, in our own time and our own way.

Jessica
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: midnight_man on March 10, 2015, 11:21:45 AM
Hi - still here and coming up on 3 months out. Not posting much lately but I usually check in at least once a day. Pleased that everyone has found a new home here.
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: JacklessSally on March 10, 2015, 11:31:24 AM
*Waves* 4 months in 3 days..
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: Wheelerswife on March 10, 2015, 01:41:42 PM


I don't want to speak for other new widdas, but for me it's daunting to consider creating a new thread. I guess I feel like, since most of you who are long-timers and have been there, done that, you've seen the same topics over and over and over.  I can't possibly bring anything new/original to the conversation.


Go ahead and post away!  We all went through newbie status before you and asked the same questions and ranted about the same frustrations.  We get it!  I know there are newer widows out there and I hope they find this place and can feel what we all felt when we got here...someone else understands!  We don't have to do it alone.

Ask about anything you want.  It is why this place exists.

Maureen
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: swilson on March 10, 2015, 03:27:09 PM
I'll hang onto this raft until my knuckles turn white. 6 months out for me this week, but not ready to be weaned off the nourishment I receive from everyone. Off topic - I love the capital W logo formed by a two handed pinky swear, does anyone know if it has meaning or am I just over thinking it?
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: Jess on March 11, 2015, 12:23:08 AM
I'm here! I'm holding on to the raft with every last bit of my strength.

I don't want to speak for other new widdas, but for me it's daunting to consider creating a new thread. I guess I feel like, since most of you who are long-timers and have been there, done that, you've seen the same topics over and over and over.  I can't possibly bring anything new/original to the conversation.

I WILL speak for the others, though, when I say THANK YOU for being here for us and letting us know that it is possible to move through the grief, in our own time and our own way.

Jessica

To echo Maureen, don't let it feel daunting to start a new thread. Put something out there and people will respond. I felt the same way when I first joined and finally figured oh screw it, I need to talk about what I am feeling. I am glad I did because without fail, someone was always there to make me feel supported and even when there was no advice, I always knew I was heard. We all need each other.
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: SieOma on March 11, 2015, 10:41:58 AM
It is good to see some people made the jump.

LostMyCharles, I just want to add my voice to those encouraging you to post. It might not be new to me, but it is new to you, and that matters.
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: tmwenger on March 16, 2015, 01:10:16 PM
I am checking in, I made it here. I do not write a lot but I read, extensively.  :o
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: Mizpah on March 16, 2015, 01:39:39 PM
I guess I feel like, since most of you who are long-timers and have been there, done that, you've seen the same topics over and over and over.  I can't possibly bring anything new/original to the conversation.

It's not about saying something original - it's about saying what you need to say, reading what you need to read, getting and giving the support you need. 
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: Blue14 on March 16, 2015, 08:38:39 PM
Hello,

Checking in. I am five months and two days out. Bob. Kidney cancer. 51. Horrific death that I can't stop reliving. I was on the YWBB and must have been one of the last to get approved. I read every day and wouldn't still be here without you all, but struggle to post. Despite being a writer, I find that I can't articulate my feelings in words. Truly ironic. I also can't read books, which has been my escape since I was a child. At work, I wish it were the weekend. On weekends, I wish I were at work. I can't sleep much and must have the six-hour version of Pride & Prejudice playing on my iPad every night to get any rest. Let me add my tremendous gratitude that this place exists and my even greater sorrow that we are all here.
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: mixelated on March 17, 2015, 11:02:30 AM
Hi. Three months out. New on this new board.
Feeling very low and without words, but trying to engage with others and connect.
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: Wheelerswife on March 17, 2015, 12:16:42 PM
mixelated...welcome to the club that nobody wants to join. Sadly, the price of admission is terribly high.  But this is an amazing group of people and I encourage you to connect with those who are in your time frame (they understand and remember best what it is like to be where you are) and anyone else, no matter how far out, if something about them resonates with you.  Come here, read, vent, talk about whatever it is that moves you.  It is still early for you and the going isn't easy.  This group of people has been a backbone of support for me through the loss of not one, but two husbands, and I'm not sure what I would have done without them.''

Maureen
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: Jen on March 17, 2015, 03:34:03 PM
(((Mixelated)))  I second what Maureen said. I'm so sorry you had to look for us, but glad you found us. Hold on. We get it.
Title: Checking in for the first time
Post by: Sueismylife-eternally on March 18, 2015, 11:55:50 AM
I lost my eternal companion on December 24, 2014, Christmas will never be the same again. The last 12 weeks have been extremely difficult, but at the same time have also been hopeful.  Sue was only 35 when she passed away.  I celebrated her 36th birthday on February 10th with Roses and Balloons and our 6th Anniversary on March 8th with more of both.  Sue was/is absolutely everything to me.  I never knew how emotionally weak I was, this journey is very difficult. I find I'm struggling the most with the physical loss, we did everything together including holding hands in bed before we feel asleep.  Everyday I would massage her back and feet for her.  I feel so at loss without being able to touch her.  How do you get past what makes us human? We are physical.
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: Jen on March 18, 2015, 03:05:51 PM
(((((HUGS))))) I am so, so sorry. This journey is by far the most difficult thing I've ever had to do-- I expect most of us would say the same. Please keep talking-- it does help, and you're in the right place.

The loss of physical touch is huge, and frankly, I'm still trying to cope with it. I think that's why I'm so free with my (((hugs)))) on the board; I no longer get many in real life. My dh and I were always touching-- just sitting beside each other, holding hands in the car, skin to skin in bed (sorry, TMI). Widowhood results in enormous oxytocin deprivation-- you're right, we're human-- we're primates, and we're hard-wired to need touch. That need for connection, for pair-bonding, is programmed into our DNA.

Get past? If I find out, I'll let you know. Meanwhile... hold on. Talk, rant, cry. I'm so very sorry you had to join us.
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: Sueismylife-eternally on March 18, 2015, 08:32:08 PM
I don't think we can ever have TMI. We are all in the same boat, and as you said we need to be able to communicate, however we need to do that.  I received some advice/observation today from Justin. He said that "growing your life will help you move around the grief" This meant a lot because I'm actually living my life thru grief and honoring Sue as well. I'm now going to school, again, to obtain my Ph.D. in Psychology with an emphasis is Grief Education and Counseling.  I've found the more I study and talk to others I feel her presence even stronger.  I've even been asked by a college here in town to come and talk to some of their classes about grief.  I still constantly think about Sue every minute of my day, but I've learned to use this as a source of strength. I'm studying a lot about grief and have learned we all experience it differently and they're really no stages you go thru.  Every feeling you have is yours, how you cope with it is the key.  Most days I feel completely alone, but I force myself to go out to be around people. Now that I've found all of you hopefully some of that alone feeling will decrease. Thank you for this amazing forum
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: SieOma on March 20, 2015, 10:08:58 AM


 
Quote
Despite being a writer, I find that I can't articulate my feelings in words. Truly ironic. I also can't read books, which has been my escape since I was a child.

That happened to me, too. You might have to work at it, but it comes back to varying degrees. Be gentle with yourself.
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: Sueismylife-eternally on March 20, 2015, 03:37:03 PM
Just need someone to talk to.  Being alone is so very difficult. Today it feels like the world is crashing down on me and I can't breathe.  How I wish Sue was here. :(
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: mixelated on March 21, 2015, 12:37:16 AM
I know that one. Kinda wish this board had a chat/voice chat. I lost my husband 12/19/2015. Sometimes I can't breathe - hurts to breathe. Sometimes gulping, sometimes like I just can't draw breath. Hang in there. Hold on to something of hers.

Do you have a support group in your area?

Just need someone to talk to.  Being alone is so very difficult. Today it feels like the world is crashing down on me and I can't breathe.  How I wish Sue was here. :(
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: Sueismylife-eternally on March 21, 2015, 01:29:07 PM
I've learned about a young widow group in St.Paul and I'm trying to get connected with that.  Of I have my therapist, and I belong to a couple of grief support groups.  But I'm finding I just need friends who truly understand that I can talk to.  Trying to just make everyday special.
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: lcoxwell on March 21, 2015, 03:51:10 PM
Kinda wish this board had a chat/voice chat.

We do have chat.  Go to the General Forum, and you will find a thread titled "Chat Room Information", pinned to the top of the board, second one down.  Follow the instructions, and it will get you there.
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: mixelated on March 21, 2015, 10:21:47 PM
Thanks!!
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: donswife on March 22, 2015, 07:12:37 AM
HI I am here and have been able to post on a few sites already. I am a little over 4 months since I became a "widow"
I had been in waiting for approval on the the other board so I am so glad to get on this one. It has been a life saver at times even just to read the posts to know I am not alone in this horrible journey
the only question I have is how do I do a profile picture ?
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: swilson on March 22, 2015, 08:48:51 AM
Hi Donswife. glad to see you here.  :)
I posted my avatar photo by clicking on Profile, then moved mouse pointer to Forum Profile, right click and you'll see options for Personalized Picture. Maybe someone can post simpler directions than these.
Title: Re: Check In
Post by: Wandasmom on March 23, 2015, 12:04:24 PM
Hi everyone, I am a migrant from the ywbb. I am at almost 4 months and post occasionally but mostly read and get great comfort from what others post.  I've been finding that the loneliness is unbearable even though there are people around me who are willing to listen at times (but not many who truly understand and know how to be supportive).  It does help to talk with others in the same boat--I've joined a loss of spouse support group and  am grateful to have this forum.  There are so many people here who are so good at expressing their feelings and so often it is exactly what I am feeling. And I am truly inspired by hearing about how others are finding ways to cope.

Thanks to all who got this forum up and going!