Young Widow Forum

Young Widow Forum => General Discussion => Topic started by: Guaruj on May 27, 2015, 10:56:55 AM

Title: "Surviving an Alcoholic" in the NY Times
Post by: Guaruj on May 27, 2015, 10:56:55 AM
I read a New York Times blog entry today called Surviving an Alcoholic (http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/05/27/surviving-an-alcoholic/).  It reminded me that we all have differing experiences in losing a spouse.  I didn't want to put this thread in a "special circumstances" section because it discusses many other issues that come up here: Caring for a spouse in declining health, nasty surprises after the funeral and eventually finding someone new.

It was well worth the 10 minutes I spent reading it.

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/05/27/surviving-an-alcoholic/

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Title: Re: "Surviving an Alcoholic" in the NY Times
Post by: look2thesky on May 27, 2015, 12:04:21 PM
Good for her that she was able to recognize it was her husband problem,
and better for picking up and living again.
Title: Re: "Surviving an Alcoholic" in the NY Times
Post by: Carey on May 27, 2015, 12:52:14 PM
" I was angry at my husband. Hell hath no fury like a widow born."
OMG ... I could have written the majority of this article. I'm at work , feeling more than a little shell-shocked :-(
Title: Re: "Surviving an Alcoholic" in the NY Times
Post by: Bluebird on May 27, 2015, 02:30:25 PM
Thanks for sharing this article Guaruja,

As I was reading it, I had the strange feeling that somehow, the author knew MY story. I quickly checked the author's name in case it was someone I knew. It isn't, but sadly, her story is one that is repeated over and over when alcoholism is involved.

It brought me back to the loss of my DH to alcoholism and then his death in our basement 6 years later. It's true, alcoholism did not claim my life, and I'm living it well, but I still carry some of the baggage.

Take care, Bluebird.
Title: Re: "Surviving an Alcoholic" in the NY Times
Post by: CJF on May 27, 2015, 02:57:09 PM
Thank you for sharing this article.  So many points hit close to home for me as well.
Title: Re: "Surviving an Alcoholic" in the NY Times
Post by: MissingSquish on May 27, 2015, 05:34:57 PM
The article was very well written and poignant.  I can relate to a lot of what she wrote about. Thanks for sending this along.
Title: Re: "Surviving an Alcoholic" in the NY Times
Post by: Needytoo on May 28, 2015, 05:54:55 AM
Very inspirational article, thanks for sharing.
Title: Re: "Surviving an Alcoholic" in the NY Times
Post by: Carey on May 28, 2015, 08:09:39 AM
the thing is. I don't think I HAVE survived him.  He did so much damage. His death did even more. 
Title: Re: "Surviving an Alcoholic" in the NY Times
Post by: nonesuch on May 31, 2015, 06:09:08 AM
Alcohol didn't cause my husband's death directly.  I suspect he'd have cared more about his health if he hadn't been so concerned about getting drunk each day. 

I miss the man I married, but he started disappearing long before my husband died.

When I began dating, "no smoking, no alkies" were my deal breakers.  Being alone can be difficult.  Being morally and legally bound to someone who isn't a real partner for you is very lonely indeed.  I'd rather be single.
,
Current Beau doesn't smoke, and owing to his epilepsy meds, has an occasional beer or glass of wine.  it is a very different experience to come home and have someone I can talk to.