Young Widow Forum

Specific Situations => Young Widow/ers with No Children => Topic started by: Jess on June 01, 2015, 11:19:28 AM

Title: Wedding Dress
Post by: Jess on June 01, 2015, 11:19:28 AM
Ladies with no children- what are you going to do or have you done with your wedding dress if you kept it from your wedding? I kept mine because the plans were to have kids, but now I just don't know what to do with it. I have been considering donating it, but I just don't know. Anyone make any dress decisions?
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: Wheelerswife on June 01, 2015, 11:25:00 AM
Jess...I still have mine from my first wedding, and I never planned to have kids.  For my second wedding in Hawaii, I wore a Hawaiian dress and John wore a matching shirt.  I've got them put away, too.  It's the memories I can't seem to part with.

Maybe some day, I'll be able to let go of them.  Donating the dress sounds like a lovely idea, especially to an organization who will see that it gets to someone who can't afford to have a nice dress.

Maureen
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: sphoc on June 01, 2015, 01:10:44 PM
I sold mine. I don't have kids either, and I knew I didn't want to wear it again. I have pictures, so I didn't feel the need to keep the dress hanging in my closet. I'm trying to be of the mindset that "it's just stuff" and not hold on to so many things, though, and I know that isn't right for everyone.
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: donswife on June 01, 2015, 01:29:41 PM
such a good question , mine is still at my Mom's house but I should go and get it
its a simple short white dress , married in the backyard very casual
so not really in the same category as wedding dress
maybe a local church might know of a place that you could donate to
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: MrsT85 on June 01, 2015, 02:26:37 PM
That's a really good question, and one that until you brought it up I had never thought of.

Mine is kind of a family heirloom - I actually wore my mother's gown (can you tell we're related?  :P), and I imagine had Tim and I had a daughter I would have wanted to pass it along to her as well.  Right now it's at my parents' house, still boxed up from how we got in back from the cleaners 6 years ago. 

I don't honestly see myself ever getting to a place where I could part with it because of the sentimental value it holds from BOTH of our weddings.  Plus, it was a gift from my mother.  One that I'm sure I'll be grateful to have once she's gone too.  So I'm guessing I'll likely hold on to it forever, probably keeping it with my parents until they sell their house, at which point I'll hopefully have a house of my own in which to tuck it away for safe keeping.  Who knows, I might still have a daughter, and they might end up wanting to use their Nana's dress one day.  The dress I've picked as the likely one for my wedding next summer will be short and summery and more casual - the one from my mother is much fancier and far more ornate. 

(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-UKjk46ClOrQ/Sk6IaA-6-sI/AAAAAAAABsg/uKg_jxBZEr0/w546-h816-no/DSC_0133.JPG)
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: ManutesGirl on June 01, 2015, 07:57:33 PM
There's an organization that accepts donated wedding dresses and makes burial gowns for babies.  I know there are a couple organizations that do this.  Can't remember the name of the one I first heard about but I googled it and here is the link to one - www.littleangelgowns.org
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: merrylea on June 02, 2015, 09:28:46 AM
I've been mulling this over as well - just because I'm in a mood to get rid of "stuff."  Stuff is weighing me down. I think that donating it has a better ring than selling it.  I love the dress, loved that day, and to be able to give that gift to someone else.... it just feels better in the feelers.

Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: Jess on June 04, 2015, 09:07:36 AM
First, thank you everyone for sharing. My initial instinct was to donate the gown to someone that can use it and cannot afford one, but then as usual I started getting wrapped up in my own head and thinking silly things like what if the dress is cursed? I don't even believe in curses.

There's an organization that accepts donated wedding dresses and makes burial gowns for babies.  I know there are a couple organizations that do this.  Can't remember the name of the one I first heard about but I googled it and here is the link to one - www.littleangelgowns.org

This is beautiful and heart breaking. At first, the suggestion seemed strange to me but over the past couple days I have really been thinking about it. I have never lost a child, but have been through a miscarriage and even that experience was so emotionally difficult we decided to wait before trying again. Obviously, we waited too long. This feels like a way to give a gift to someone that is experiencing profound grief that I cannot even begin to comprehend and to pay back some of the debt I owe for the support I get to keep going in dealing with my own grief. When I am ready, this may be just what I do. Thank you, ManutesGirl. Sincerely.
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: MissingSquish on June 04, 2015, 05:50:20 PM
If I don't get remarried again and have children before I die, I'd like to be buried in my wedding dress. 

My original plan was to use the lace from my wedding dress to make a christening gown for my babies. That can still potentially happen, so that's why I'm holding onto mine.
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: gracelet on June 05, 2015, 06:18:27 PM
Widow bestie and I hatched a plan last week. We are going to do a joint trash the dress photo shoot!
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on June 08, 2015, 11:41:38 PM
Hey Jess
To me having a miscarriage is losing a child. I'm sorry you had to go through that agony. I hope you find a way to share your gift of a beautiful wedding dress.  Hugs to you Jess
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: IfIonlycould on June 14, 2015, 08:07:32 AM
Just came across this thread, thanks for starting it as this is something I have been trying to figure out for a while now....I have thought of asking my niece if she would want to wear it (there are 2 nieces from that sister-one my size and one her mothers size so sis could still have a daughter wear her dress) but I don't want her to feel obligated...like Jess I also worry
but then as usual I started getting wrapped up in my own head and thinking silly things like what if the dress is cursed? I don't even believe in curses.

I don't know if I believe in curses...but I believe in "energy"...does the dress hold the energy of the beautiful day? or for what eventually came after? 
Niece lives out of state and is coming to visit this summer...I will just ask her and if she says "No thank you" I will come up with plan B.  I too have been purging and releasing.  I feel like it is time to let the dress go... Please let me know what you ultimately do with yours.
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: biscuit on June 27, 2015, 10:58:40 AM
Before my husband died, I had planned on selling it, just cause I thought it was stupid to have a big dress around that I was never going to wear.  But now in my widowhood, I love that I still have it, it serves as a great reminder that I was once happy and its really pretty to look at.  So I'll keep it for now.
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: Bobssleepykitty on July 01, 2015, 06:45:35 PM
I'm going to be buried in mine. I left instructions for it.
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: donswife on July 19, 2015, 07:26:28 AM
I love that idea of being buried in it
should go take a look at it and bring it home (its at my mom's house)
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: Sandi1970 on September 29, 2015, 12:12:20 PM
I moved recently and there the wedding dress was... What to do with it? Moved it the 1,000+ miles just so I didn't have to derail my packing efforts and sit and think. So here it is in my walk in closet. Still not sure but have thought about if I get married again, changing it up and shortening it and wearing it again. It still represents one of my fonds days ever. who knows.
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: Lmsmdm on March 17, 2016, 08:42:38 PM
One of my best friends daughter asked to use my dress. I instantly said yes. It felt like such a relief. However, in the end she gave it back wanting her own dress. I chuckle (ya know the twisted widow chuckle) she was probably afraid it was jinxed ha ha.

Before he died, I wanted to do a destroy the dress photo shoot. My best friend suggested I do it anyway in Jamaica after the ceremony. It didn't feel right.

Periodically it haunts me. @donswife I have a backyard dress too, notice my signature ha ha. That one landed in a bag of things to be turned into a quilt. However, July will be 5 years, and that bag has been sitting for 3ish. The quilt's light of actually happening is growing dim, but I can't get rid of the bag haha.

One day I will figure it out. I like the donation idea, I will tuck that one away. 
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: donswife on March 18, 2016, 05:53:29 PM
Lmsmdm-  like your idea about the quilt but the dress still hangs at My moms
I haven't even looked at it so not sure what I will do with it
I am hoping for someone to make the decision for me
I am tired of making decisions ...:)
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: JeanGenie on March 18, 2016, 06:54:47 PM
Mine is all boxed up and sealed in the back of my closet....where it's been for 30+ years.  Sometimes I wonder if there's anything actually in the box--now wouldn't that be ironic!  I had kept it too in case I had a daughter who might want it.  No daughter...so maybe some future DIL??  I guess I can hope. And then if my imagined DIL doesn't want it, maybe it can be used to make a Baptism gown for my imaginary grandchildren!  lol  I guess someday if I ever move, I'll need to deal with it.  But for now, it just sits in the back of the closet for future possibilities...
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: baywebbshelton on April 15, 2016, 10:25:50 PM
I also can't decide what to do with mine. I've heard of people casing the dress in a resin, and framing it. I just remarried recently and now I'm not sure what to do either. Do I display both dresses, or should I only have my recent one out?

Does anyone else feel guilty at the thought of having both dresses on display? I feel like I am holding onto an old life with all these things, and not able to move into my new one.
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: Portside on April 16, 2016, 07:25:34 AM
. . .  maybe it can be used to make a Baptism gown for my imaginary grandchildren! 

That's a great idea!

I donated my late wife's gown to a bridal shop whose owner promised to give it to someone that needed it and couldn't afford it. I paid her $50 for her trouble.

Mike
Title: Re: Wedding Dress
Post by: piecesofapart on April 27, 2016, 09:01:42 PM
My dress hangs in the closet next to the suit my husband wore on our wedding day. It's a simple white lace dress that I got at Dress Barn for $60 (in 1996). We got married in Bermuda on a cliff overlooking the ocean- so I did not need anything elaborate. Even got to wear it twice since we had our wedding reception a week later when we returned from getting married/having our honeymoon.

..not sure what I will do going forward, but for now, I like that they are hanging out together ;-D