Young Widow Forum

Time Frame => Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months) => Topic started by: Yell120910 on March 10, 2015, 03:12:02 AM

Title: Anger at 6 months?
Post by: Yell120910 on March 10, 2015, 03:12:02 AM

Long 6 months have passed but whenever I think of getting rid of Greg?s things or even to arrange his belongings (letters, pictures, clothes?etc.) will bring certain feeling of ANGER.  I know I cannot be with him anymore and the reality is sinking in, however, I feel angry and irritated by the thought of his loss...

How are you after 6 months?
Title: Re: Anger at 6 months?
Post by: HvnBound on March 10, 2015, 03:30:34 AM
I have to reply to this! The anger phase will come and go for most but for me, it lasted for about a year or more because he was just so doggone stubborn. It is totally normal and it is healing to go thru this phase.
Title: Re: Anger at 6 months?
Post by: tinks on March 10, 2015, 09:02:23 AM
I am also 6 months out and I have been having days where I am angry or sometimes having feelings I can't explain. My counselor told me this is all normal. I think for me the reality is setting in that he is not coming home to us anymore. ((hugs)) to you because this roller coaster of emotions is exhausting to say the least.
Title: Re: Anger at 6 months?
Post by: littlebirdie on March 10, 2015, 10:00:08 AM
OMG, I was shocked at how angry I felt at times. I'm usually very calm, laid back, and rarely feel angry, but man there were times I just wanted to smash everything. It came and went, and now it's mostly gone but there are still moments when I feel overwhelmed at all I am responsible for now when the anger can resurface. It's not nearly as intense as it was, thank goodness. I didn't like it.
Title: Re: Anger at 6 months?
Post by: Jen on March 10, 2015, 12:33:41 PM
It hit me hard at 9-10 months, but yes, I was SO FREAKING ANGRY!!! I wanted to go all Incredible Hulk on everyone and everything for weeks. It's finally receded, but for awhile there, I thought I'd never get all the mad out. Probably I still haven't, but at least I'm not in a blind rage 90% of the time.

It kind of scared me. Then again, it was a break from depression, so it had that going for it. But I hated everything-- me, my life, my family and friends who just don't get it, Jim for leaving... on and on. Not a good way to try to live. I'm glad it's drained away; I hope it stays gone.
Title: Re: Anger at 6 months?
Post by: BrokenHeart2 on March 11, 2015, 05:49:21 AM
For me it was around the 12 to 13 month mark. Wow, I was surprised at my anger. I had never been angry like that before and it wasn't pretty. It lasted a few months then subsided.
Title: Re: Anger at 6 months?
Post by: Baylee627 on March 11, 2015, 01:15:27 PM
Absolutely normal! I was on an anger binge from around four months out to almost seven months. I mean, we were cheated out of a full lifetime with our spouses. The loss of them violates our sense of fairness.

What's not to be angry about?

It's part of the grief process, so oddly, it's healthy anger. Feel what you need to feel, do what you need to do, and make no apologies. 

Baylee
Title: Re: Anger at 6 months?
Post by: Captains wife on March 11, 2015, 08:31:03 PM
Agreed with other posts - this is very common, I went through the anger phase around 6 months, I remember 9-10months was brutal and I still, at almost 3 years out, periods of real anger for suddenly losing my husband and having to deal with everything myself.

At first I didn't deal with it well but over time I am getting better - I started seeing a grief therapist, I keep busy, I took up active aerobics, I cut back ALOT on drinking and I learned to find ways to chill out (yoga) or if I felt like I was going to lose it and my son was around, I would just leave the room for a few minutes while I calmed down.

This journey is tough so don't be tough on yourself - I hope some of my suggestions helped. Wishing you all the best,
Title: Re: Anger at 6 months?
Post by: Yell120910 on March 12, 2015, 12:22:48 AM
Thank you all guys for your sharing... this is a roller coaster ride after all...
Uurrrggg...   :'(

HUGS to you all
Title: Re: Anger at 6 months?
Post by: Justin on March 12, 2015, 09:50:18 AM
I went through an angry phase at around 2-3 months; I distinctly remember punching the hell out of my pillows and mattress one morning, with tears streaming down my face. I am at 8 months out now, and haven't gone through angry times since then. I know I still have a long way to go, though...
Title: Re: Anger at 6 months?
Post by: DansSoulmate on March 30, 2015, 09:39:04 PM
On Friday it was 6 months and, much like Justin, my angry days were early on when I had way too much coming at me non-stop, day and night, all at once.  At that time, I grabbed a rake and took my frustration out on the million some odd leaves that fell in my yard in the fall until I was so exhausted I couldn't rake any more.  Someone recently pointed out the electric leaf blower I could have used  :)

I have always been a high strung person but oddly enough when at 4 months my car was hit and totalled on my way to a griefshare session, I had absolutely nothing left in terms of emotion. All I could say while staring into space was "this is just one more thing". 

You do need to get it out, but I would also say be mindful of how it impacts your health.  Much like Dan's family, mine also has heart disease so  I've been working really hard to find a balance, keep stress in check and hopefully achieve a more peaceful existence.