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  1. Yesterday
  2. Arneal - Congrats on the 2 yr mark! And under the same roof now! Who knew? 😊😉 Trying2Breathe - glad it is working so well with the "kids" home. Thanks for the insight from your session. That balance of moving forward and taking the risk. You are testing the waters! Great! NG has been out of work 2 weeks but interviewed for a job last week and was offered it. He is taking it. It is a little less money and a commute of 30 minutes versus the 10 minutes he had. Benefits are less, and he has to work longer to access them, but he has a job and will not miss a paycheck. He went from a Canadian owned company to Japanese, and there are just differences. I am very proud he got on it, and timing worked out. He spent more time with me and my son, as he admits he prefers us to being alone at his home. His house is a nice for a family but lonely I am sure by himself. I have appreciated his company. Memorial Day weekend. We are having the memorial service for my mother. She died in Nov. I thought this was a great idea, but now, it seems to have drug it out. Now I know why it often is the case to have the service soon. I am antsy, touchy and annoyed easily. It will be fine, but the anticipation. I have her remains. I will see my 3 brothers and only one has been helpful in all this for the past few years she needed much more oversight. He was not present but assisted from a far. NG and I met for lunch. He is taking his boys on an all guy camping trip through his church. So fun weekend planned. I brought up about him not going with me, that I wanted him to offer and he didn't. He stated he had, and I declined. I probably did as I knew it was his kids' weekend, and it would be so difficult to change all of it out with his inflexible ex. So, I have to let go of that. It will be a reunion of sorts with cousins, and he would not have been too excited. I guess My problem is feeling so alone about dealing with stuff. No one to have to put my head on their shoulder through these hard times. I hope not to have a next time soon, but if I do, I think I will let him make arrangements to go with me. What is the point of having a significant other if they can't support you through tough times? Anyway... My mixture of feelings. I will get through. My track record is 100% . Enjoy the weekend.😎
  3. Good for you, trying2 about working through what is small and what isn't. Not sure what our weather is looking like. It's been overcast and rainy most mornings but by early afternoon the sun is out. I have to travel again in a couple weeks for work and BFs birthday is the end of next month so we will take a weekend away. Should be fun. Today marks two years since our first connection online and Monday marks two years since our first date. How time flies ...
  4. MR

    OT Prayers please

    Prayers
  5. Hope everybody is doing well. Weather forecast here is torrential rain pretty much through the weekend 😕 BF and I have tickets to an outside concert on Saturday and I'm disappointed that this may not be happening. My kids are both home from school, the routine has changed but so far everything is working out well. BF has been here twice for dinner and everybody is commingling very well. BF commented on how my kids are well adjusted to our relationship, and his daughters are not quite there yet. Hmmm ..... glad that he's bringing this up and we'll see if things improve. Hadn't seen my grief therapist in a couple of years and it was good to get in for a tune-up. I think as widows something that we have in common is a fear of loss again. And as I suspected, my hesitation in more of a commitment with BF is that I'm afraid of losing him. The minor issues that BF and I are dealing with, I'm figuring out are truly minor, and we're working through them. Easier said than done to let go of fear, but to become aware of it, say it loud not only to myself but to him too, hoping that this will help me to let go. He's a great guy and I'm willing to work towards a better relationship with him. Feels good to put that out there .... Happy Memorial Day Weekend!
  6. Abitlost

    Back to ground zero

    I am so sorry for you and your daughter, Toosoon. You will learn all you can to manage the disease and you will gain control over it. Hang in there. abl
  7. Trying

    Back to ground zero

    Life is definitely not fair! I am so sorry your daughter has to live with this awful disease and my heart is with you as a mom. With my sons IBD and incurable liver disease I can totally relate to the "why couldn't it be me" feeling. We do everything we can to protect our kids and keep them healthy and something like this happens that we have no control over. When the the dust settles and she is home from the hospital I hope you are able to connect with other moms of kids with the same diagnosis. It was so helpful to me in the beginning for practical advice and emotional support sort of like this group here. I know the last last thing you feel right now is "strong" and putting on a brace face for your daughter is taking every ounce of energy in you. Give yourself the moments you need to break down, take any little bit of support you can from those around you and trust that your fierce maternal love will give you the strength you need when you feel you have none left. Drink water, eat something and try to get some sleep. One day, one Hour, one minute at a time.
  8. sudnlysngl

    Big decisions by yourself

    Well, the buyer went into "hiding" , did his surgery, paid NO monies to me at all and today is the 25th! He wouldn't even answer his own realtor. I reached out to him, but I made sure that before he did his surgery that I put it into writing for him NOT to do it unless he put some money in my hands first and set the new closing date for the 1st. He didn't do that and I had another buyer wanting the house! He could have waited 3 days to do his surgery and did the closing, I was ready! I reached out 1 more time telling him if he didn't respond by this last Monday he would lose all the money he has paid thus far in inspections etc. and I would move on to the new buyer because he has breeched the contract! He didn't respond, so I moved on! Now he is pissed, claiming he still wants the house, refusing to sign over the escrow money to me, which by our law he has to because he breeched the contract, and we (my realtor and I ) found out he lied about having all the money available to buy the house. So now he is saying he has a work comp case that is suppose to pay out on this coming up Tuesday. Yeah right! I'll be damned to believe anything he says! So I told my realtor if he is serious, then he shows all the funds by Tuesday 5pm, releases the escrow money to me by 5pm today, and he pays the cancellation fees on my new contract , plus we close on the 8th period! Otherwise, go pound sand! Oh and I stop him from getting his escrow money back too! His biggest mistake was mistaking my kindness for stupidity!!! After dealing with the jerk off ex, and now this too all at the same time, I truly can NOT take anymore stress....
  9. sudnlysngl

    OT Prayers please

    Prayers for all of you....
  10. trying2breathe

    Back to ground zero

    So sorry that you're dealing with this. Big big hugs to you ~
  11. Eddienhp

    OT Prayers please

    Sending prayers for all of you. May he have a smooth recovery. My mom survived a double stroke with minimal long term effects. Believe in miracles. Eileen
  12. Bunny

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    I don’t think I’ve ever really had a list.... maybe I’ve uttered the words ‘no more musicians!’ more than once; and i admit I’ve never really trusted a man whose too interested in showering me with gifts/compliments. I have, however, noticed that I definitely seem to have a ‘type’. Apparently, I really enjoy the more complicated and strong-willed men. Judging from my history, I’d say they do seem to truly fascinate me to no end! 🙂
  13. rifatheroffour

    Back to ground zero

    I have two good friends who have kids with the same diagnosis. One has been diabetic since she was 6 or 7 and she is one of my daughter's closest friends, they are 16 now. The other is now a sophomore in college who was diagnosed at 14. Yes this completely sucks and no we don't need more crap to dump on our challenged lives. I can agree with you, health care will be a challenge that you will have to manage closely and advocate for, which I know you are certainly skilled at. While i can not truly comprehend what you are going through what I really want to tell you is that both of these kids are now self monitored but with back up texting from their devices that go to thier parents so they can be somewhat comfortable. They both lead full and active lives doing all the same things their friends do and sometimes even more. I know this brings more challenges that you do not need but we are here for you. I'm sure either of my friends would be willing to offer any advice should you be interested, feel free to contact me.
  14. Sugarbell

    Back to ground zero

    Stay strong..for both of you. And yes yes it’s good news it was caught early..but I’m sure you’ve been so worried about her. Hang in there strong Mama!
  15. Sugarbell

    OT Prayers please

    Sending prayers for both of them..and you!
  16. cathyr

    Back to ground zero

    I'm so sorry to read this TooSoon. Sometimes life piles on more than we think we can handle, especially when we have to face big life changes alone. Although the news is devastating and a huge blow, I'm glad it was caught before it could jeopardize your daughter's health further. Sending heartfelt prayers for strength and peace for you and your sweet daughter.
  17. sudnlysngl

    Back to ground zero

    I'm so sorry toosoon. I'm praying for you and your daughter. It sucks that you both are being handed this. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you it will be ok. Again, I'm truly sorry that your having to have this be part of your life and deal with it alone. Come here and vent with us, we are here for you.... (((hugs)))
  18. Last week
  19. SunshineFL

    Back to ground zero

    So sorry to read this TooSoon. Just wanted to say a kind word to let you know your frustrations, fears and feelings were heard. When our kids get sick, we so wish we could take it all off of them and bear the burden. So grateful her pediatrician was proactive and got her admitted so quickly and the endocrinologists and specialists are caring for her. Self care for caregivers too. Keep us posted and hope she stabilizes soon and can be discharged home. You got this.
  20. Julester3

    Back to ground zero

    The good news, it was caught and you can now manage it. I'm sorry you are dealing with this alone at the hospital and no support is available nearby. It's is a long weekend coming up and hopefully you can go home and rest. Hugs for you!
  21. Toosoon2.0

    Back to ground zero

    On Monday I took my delightful daughter, the love of my life, in for her annual 11 year old appointment with the pediatrician. I knew she was underweight but she'd grown four or five inches in a few months and I figured it was all just going to sort itself out, level out, over time. We talked about how to bulk her up with healthy fats before her swim team season started again this summer. Then she told the Dr. that she sometimes felt pain when she urinated so he said, since you're here, let's just do a urine sample to rule out a UTI. Next thing I know, we are speeding to the ER with a now confirmed diagnosis of Type 1 Diabetes. We're still in the hospital - the same one where I got my husband's brain cancer diagnosis, the same one where I roamed the halls asking what in the hell happened to my life. We've been here for four days. Andy is in Europe. I haven't slept. I've learned how to do everything I need to do to check her glucose, inject her insulin, count her carbs yet because her body is still not purging all of the sugars we are still there. I am gutted you guys. Why couldn't it have been me? Why, why, why, why why? How is this f***ing happening? I am ready to face the challenge but after four days and three sleepless nights (and facing who knows how many more), I just needed to come here and unload. The kid who had all of the breastmilk and none of the processed foods. None of it mattered. No history of diabetes in any of the four branches of her genetic family. I know she can and will live a full life but I am absolutely gutted. Thanks for listening. I feel like the world is again falling apart around me and the universe is asking me to move mountains, hold my head high, put on a good face, etc. etc. etc. But that's a big ask. My poor little girl. This is total sleep deprived stream of consciousness but I'm not getting a lot of support from the people here who know what's going on, the long weekend is starting tomorrow and I feel very much alone. And by the way, WTF health care in this country?
  22. arneal

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    Oh yes, tybec -- the 'list' is not in stone for sure. I love to say it's about the vibe, right? If we get the chance to meet, will we feel that bit of compatibility that could lead to more (if the moons and stars align, if we don't turn out to be allergic to each other, if if if if) 😅 😁
  23. tybec

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    The list?! Had to laugh. Before widowed, Steve Harvey was touring after writing a book about dating. He addressed the “list”, and it was funny but also for real. I had an idea of what I wanted. Another widowed man would be great. Or... Little older maybe, children likely grown then as I was a later parent due to infertility issues (LH’s cancer came out). If divorced, kids are grown at least or close to being grown and independent. I met ng online, faith based which was a necessity for me. And he is younger, with younger children as he started late in life, also. And divorce drama. He still teases me about my ideals. Yup....
  24. arneal

    On line dating vents and laughs......

    No disrespect felt at all, Love2 -- my list is more esoteric ... I guess it would be clearer for me to say that I knew more of what I didn't want and had a general idea of what I did want. Like not someone who drinks more than socially; someone with a faith base -- not necessarily the same as mine but if not a believer in some way, we probably would be too different; someone who was not a total couch potato since I do go for walks or to the gym. I still suggest that in some way, we all have some parameters ...
  25. Forgottenwife

    Let Me Go

    Yes. I had a similar experience. Wow did I get angry. Angry that he was dead, angry for all the crazy stuff addicts do, angry that I had no control. You know for me it was hard to acknowledge that anger, and even harder to talk about it. I felt judged for being angry, I felt like I was letting my late husband down. The people would say 'Why are you angry?' 'Its not his fault.' Even 'anger is wrong.' Wrong? Yea, I get it, he didn't want to be an addict, he suffered a great deal. I know, I had a front row seat. He was brilliant and funny and attractive. He also was an addict and eventually took his own life. I wasn't even surprised, yet I was shocked and beaten down and exhausted. I can relate to what you said. I'm grateful you can share here. You matter. Your experience matters too and its really hard to grapple with isn't it? I know he's the one who died, and I also know the families and loved ones of addicts suffer too. I get in many places, and even here, that is an unpopular opinion. Like we aren't supposed to feel what we feel. Your feelings are valid and you deserve love and compassion and please be gentle with yourself. I hope for you and for all of us really who loved addicts that the anger will subside and peaceful memories and days will continue to be part of our lives. I am so sorry for your loss and for the experience that brings you to this website and to this particular forum. Take care of you. Even though its been years, the feelings are still there, that sounds pretty normal too. I get it.
  26. November

    My Daughter doesn't like my NG

    In my perspective no relationship is guaranteed, doesn’t matter if you date 3 years or 3 months before moving in or getting married. We members of this community know that. My thoughts are… Why should I wait for tomorrow to be happy when I can be happy today? The way I’m thinking and seeing things and again maybe I’m wrong and therefore I decided to come here and ask for opinions… Without looking or wanting anyone I met this person that just fits so easy and effortless into my life and he has shown me that in my life is where he wants to be. I have 3 children, he has none. I feel he really needs to see everything that happens in my day to day life and how I interact with my kids and the only way that will happen is if he’s “in the mix”. That’s why I decided the sleepover’s 1 or 2 days a week were good. I’ve heard stories and met people that have waited to involve their new partners with their kids only to have it not work and time has been wasted the relationship ends. I have always been very open with my kids and I feel I don’t have to ask for permission to have a relationship, but I DO feel they have a right to know what’s happening. And that's exactly with I explained to them. I probably should have not had the moving in conversation yet as I have no intentions of him moving in now but maybe sometime next year if we are still on this path. What happened with my daughter caught me off guard and hurt me very much. I told my daughter that I’m not choosing him over her, that she is entitled to feel the way she feels and that I hope that with time she will be able to tell me what is bothering her so much, so I can help her, or we can fix it/make it better but until then she still needs to respect him and respect my relationship with him. I do take into consideration all the opinions here because some made me see things I had over looked. Once again thank you all for taking the time to reply.
  27. Leadfeather

    Share them with us.

    I am fine with them being merged. If it is not to much trouble for the mods to do so.
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