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  1. Today
  2. BrokenHeart2

    Sexy Widowed Saturday Night!

    Didn't do much last night. Fell asleep on the couch LOL Tired from hauling in wood to keep the house warm. Furnace oil is so darned expensive.
  3. Yesterday
  4. sudnlysngl

    FEB. 14 - Came and went

    dh always made it special, but the only jerk I was with since his death 12 yrs ago did NOTHING! (thank goodness he is gone from my life) Besides the anniversary of dh's passing was just 4 days before valentines, and I no longer have a valentines, so the sadness and loneliness just thicken, sigh.....
  5. hachi

    FEB. 14 - Came and went

    Same old Valentines day for me, never cared alot about it. DH wasn't much in the Hallmark holiday department, so I never had great expectations of the day. My birthday is the day before so that made it a little worse. This year NG had knee surgery on the 12th so I was prepared for both days to be even more mediocre than ever, but NG suprised me by getting me a card and a gift ahead of time! Then we watched Lady and the Tramp! OK, sounds lame as I write it, but it was cute and fun and a nice way to spend my birthday.
  6. Virgo

    Sexy Widowed Saturday Night!

    What is everyone up to tonight? I had plans to go out, but they were canceled. Now I'm trying to motivate myself to start organizing in my basement.
  7. Golorth

    New loss, old pain

    I find that all memorial services are triggering. I try to avoid them. And I can't sit through "Amazing Grace" at church; I have to physically leave the building so that I can't hear it. I'm nearly six years out, and that song will punch a tunnel into that grief well like no other. Throw in bagpipes? FOGGETABOUDIT!!
  8. powbesh

    FEB. 14 - Came and went

    Thank you, tybec, for those words of hope. I am new to this. My husband died last month, & I am still shattered & feeling beyond repair. But when I read the words from you & others who have been where I am now, it encourages me to hang on and give it more time. Our 35th anniversary will be this Monday (Feb 18th) & I'm braced for the unbearable pain I know awaits me.
  9. Mc5

    Going back to work

    My wife passed in October and I plan on being a stay at home Dad until the Fall. I know my girls need the stability but I put grad school on hold when my wife was put on hospice. I am planning on becoming a therapist so I need this time to get my head as straight as possible before I start my internship.
  10. Another one passed by. I used to have such great difficulty. I would write a note about it and get nice responses on FB. I have had some incredible Valentine's days , and then mediocre. I received red roses from NG, which are beautiful, but he had his kids for 2 hours on his off weekend time, and we will do something tomorrow night. It is good not to be such a hard time but it used to be. It can get easier. My LH died in Jan., so this was the first holiday afterwards. So glad to not be in the depths of sadness. Just hold on if you are new to this. 😃
  11. Last week
  12. Eddienhp

    Lost with two little kids..

    Sadness, you are fine just where you are. You have been dealt a big blow in life. Its normal to feel just like you do. My husband passed 7 years ago. At the time. kids were 5 and 2. It was so hard to work, take care of kids plus grieve. I remember feeling like a robot. It did get better, little by little. Now it is a lot better. I still think of my husband everyday and I miss him. I do feel I have recovered from the pain of the loss. It no longer wears me down. Have faith that you will survive. You will find yourself. Your life will be redefined. Life can and will be happy again. We learn to be grateful for the time we had with our loved ones and carry them with us throughout our journey. Sending you hugs, Eileen
  13. tamara76

    Lost with two little kids..

    So sorry for your loss. I am 4 months without my husband today, me and my 5 years old daughter. Lost him after a long battle with cancer, which he handle with enormous strength and smile on his face despite all problems, pain... At first I felt guilty, like I could/should have done something more (but we did EVERYTHING), than I felt relief that he is not suffering any more, and now... now it is harder then at the beginning! I think I am just starting to realize that he is not coming back never again and it is unbearable. From the moment he died, I have functioned well - took care of my daughter, started to work only a week after, nobody saw me crying on work, I am accomplishing all the tasks like nothing happened, but... It takes so much strength to put on the mask every day! I am proud of myself, hope that he is proud of me too, wherever he is now. I miss him like crazy, more and more every day. Our daughter is my great strength, my motive to go on, but I really can not comprehend that he is gone forever. He was my soulmate, best friend, my everything, love of my life. Hope we all feel better in time, for me it is great comfort to see that I am not alone... Hugs to all of you!
  14. jeudi

    Signs- Pennies From The Other Side

    Thanks Euf- a lot of what I write now is humorous fiction, so I don't strictly stay with these hard stories all the time. Writing was the most important thing that helped me find myself again. For me, letting my mind go to this other place that had nothing to do with loss, allowed me to get away from the horrible way I felt, if only just while I was writing. It took me about six months before I had enough focus to write but once I got started I wrote a novel by the time I reached the first anniversary pf John's death. I couldn't focus enough to read a book but writing, for some reason, was something I could do.
  15. Thanks for sharing this Judy. The last time you linked to Medium, I also read that entry and then others you wrote. I've always enjoyed your writing (maybe enjoyed isn't quite the word to use when talking about death and being widowed but you know what I mean. LOL) and as Maureen said, this type of writing is what I regret being lost from YWBB. Thank you too for sharing the "cancer story" part. My husband has been dead a bit over 12 years and I know how hard it can still be to remember that part.
  16. This one really gets me...my husband was building an elaborate tree house for an artstudio. His...."castle in the sky"
  17. Yes....love this. I was even gonna post it.
  18. powbesh

    A new WIDDA heading your way

    My personal loss is new & my emotions are raw. But the people on this site have meant the world to me. The comfort they've provided has been a tremendous help to me, a shattered person. I sought help on the internet and found it here and I hope, after my own pain has eased, I can be of help to others who have to try & make it through the quagmire of grief.
  19. Cae

    introduce yourself here

    Hi, introducing myself. I'm 53, my husband's life was taken by an impatient driver, Sept 10th, 2017. He was 55. He went to work that morning at 6am. Almost 5 hours later, while he was working near the gas pumps at the truck stop he worked at (for 15 and a half years) He was killed. Three things happened to make the driver aggrevated. After the third thing, He pulled away from the pump he was at, at high speed. They determined that from the short distance of one set of pumps to the other, he excelerated to 15 miles an hour. My husband was working near the next set of pumps. he ran right over my husband who was stooped down doing something. There where buckets and cones around him to let people know he was there. Also witnesses say the guy had to sit and wait near where my husband was working for a few minutes before he could get in the gas line. It took just over a year to charge him. 1 year, and 10 days. Of course he pleaded not guilty . Now we have to wait till this October for him to go to trial. Christine
  20. soloact

    A new WIDDA heading your way

    I like Widda. The good people who run the site maintain it as a safe place for community members. Quality over quantity. I don't post a lot probably because it's been awhile since the loss. Much appreciation to the kind people who provide this helpful resource for all of us.
  21. jeudi

    Signs- Pennies From The Other Side

    Thanks Maureen. I appreciate your taking the time to link over and read it.
  22. Wheelerswife

    Signs- Pennies From The Other Side

    Ah, Judy. I just read read your essay. Thank you so much for sharing! This is the kind of writing and insight that I miss from YWBB. There truly were some individuals who could articulate their thoughts and stories in a manner that could feed my broken soul. The writing of seasoned widow(er)s balanced some of the raw and acute pain of newbies and others who finally found a place to openly share their stories of loss. I would love love to see more posts like this one, as well as questions and vents from people in all stages of widowhood. Maureen
  23. A few months ago I made a post linking members here to an article I had written on another site, an online publication called Medium. I've written another post relating to widowhood, specifically about signs I get from my late husband. In that article I also link to an article by a psychic medium who explains some of the nuts and bolts about how our passed on loved ones communicate with us. Here is the link to my story https://medium.com/uncalendared/pennies-from-the-other-side-338b9e704d8 I hope you will click over and give it a read. When I linked to my last story I mentioned that Medium pays for writing (if you are a member and you sign up for getting paid for your writing). You can read this article of mine without being a member but if you click around to read other things eventually non-members get "locked out." I don't make a lot of money but theoretically, if you write a lot and people like your work you can make some decent bucks. If you like to write and need some extra money since your loved one died this could be a little side gig for you. It's super easy and user friendly. There are a few writers there who write about loss. I'm thinking about starting a "publication" within Medium that is specifically for stories from widowed people. If anyone has any interest in this let me know (you can message me here as Medium is really public.) and I'll get to work on making that happen. Someone else has posted a widow/ widower publication there but it is blank like he/she gave up on the idea so I don't think I would be stepping on any toes. I write about signs as I still have a relationship with my late husband because of the signs he sends me. In the article I link to, I went quite a bit into his cancer story, which I never really did on the old YWBB. It has taken me quite some time to be able to speak of this time in my life. So painful. Now, I can do this but it took 15 years or so. I lost John in 2002. At the bottom of the Medium article I include a song sung by Billie Holiday. I warn you now- it relates to my story and might make you cry, especially if you are like me and music can really turn on the waterworks for you. Hope everyone is doing well. Keep writing and sharing and commiserating. It is the best solution for everything widow that I ever found. Judy
  24. jeudi

    A new WIDDA heading your way

    Euf- Reading your words about YWBB brings back cruddy memories of how the site closed with pretty much no warning. I gave up on trying to save anything because I really didn't visit the site much due to my longevity as a widow but luckily someone I was friends with from the board (but also in real life) let me know. By the time I got to my computer I had only hours and ultimately decided to let it go. Luckily, I had previously saved some stuff on discs but none of my own writing. I love to write and writing was what saved me early on before I knew about YWBB. What I wrote about being a widow could have filled a book. There was so much wisdom there...and I'm sure here too, so I would send your soon to be widowed friend this way for sure. I remember you Euf- along with so many others from those old days. Can you believe I lost my first husband over 16 years ago now- and my new husband and I, who met because of YWBB and I have been a couple for 14 years on St. Patrick's Day. We've been married since 2014. One of the first messages I sent him has the words "someday each of us could have another long relationship" as I tried to comfort him (and myself) about the loneliness he was experiencing. I had no idea his relationship would be with me. I'm writing for an online publication now called Medium and I'm getting ready to write a post here to lead Widda members over to a story there about the signs I get from my late husband. It would be great to think that some widowed folks might read it with the link I will provide. Hope you will give it a glance. Thanks for your post. Any time I come here I find something- sometimes from someone familiar to me from YWBB or from a new widow with some sage wisdom to share. A community like none other. Love to all. Judy
  25. Here's a new song from Meghan Trainor..
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