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Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    8 / 2009
  • Cause of death
    Mental Illness / Suicide

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  1. WifeLess

    Widowbago Forum

    Ginger, Yes, that was my experience too. During my early years of widowhood, I attended countless Widowbagos in the metro NYC/NJ area and organized several dozen of them myself. And although the info was publicly accessible on YWBB (this site's predecessor) there was never a problem. The attendees were always members of that site or their guests. So I would be in favor of making the Widowbago section here fully accessible. —- WifeLess
  2. WifeLess


    sojourner, Heartbreaking. I wish for your sister a peaceful passing, and for you continued strength as you face yet another great loss. — Wifeless
  3. WifeLess

    4 years ago...my post on YWBB

    Wheelerswife, When Bluebird and I first heard the shocking news 4 years ago, we were in disbelief. The pain we knew you were feeling was heartbreaking. And your strength to survive and keep moving forward even after your second tragic loss was inspiring, and still is. --- WifeLess
  4. WifeLess

    Snow....anyone else going to be walloped today?

    It's currently snowing pretty heavily here in the metro NYC / NJ area. About 4 to 8 inches predicted. I’m hoping my lovely Bluebird will soon volunteer to go outside and shovel the walkway and driveway. 8)
  5. Since the Holiday Season is often a time of rememberance of those we lost, bumping this up again.
  6. WifeLess

    Widow/er Songs for the Holiday Season

    Yes, motski, they are indeed cleverly written. I first saw them on the old YWBB (this site's predecessor) during my first Christmas/Holiday Season as a widower, just a few months after my wife’s death. They were among the few things that made me laugh back then.
  7. WifeLess

    Widow/er Songs for the Holiday Season

    Another Holiday Season, another bump.
  8. motski, Welcome to Young Widow Forum. So much time has passed since those early years when we posted regularly on the old YWBB (and elsewhere). It is great to hear from you again. I hope the passage of time has brought you much healing. --- WifeLess
  9. roch82, Welcome to Young Widow Forum. Yes, in the early weeks and months it is extremely hard, and it often gets worse as the initial shock begins to wear off. And of course, the pain may be compounded when there are complicating factors, as you indicate in your post. So it is not surprising that you feel as you describe. But it is nevertheless possible to survive this. We just have to hold on long enough, and things will begin to get better. Sorry for the tragic loss that brought you here. --- WifeLess
  10. WifeLess

    I cant grieve

    BambiGrk, There are a number of members here who lost their spouses to causes related to drugs or alcohol, especially when addiction was involved. And consequently, they have faced conflicted feelings about their spouses similar to those you describe. You can find many of their posts in the Specific Situations Section below dealing with suicide, addiction, mental illness, etc. Perhaps it will bring you a measure of comfort to read some of their posts, especially in these threads: http://widda.org/index.php/topic,16.0.html http://widda.org/index.php/topic,11.0.html http://widda.org/index.php/topic,225.0.html Sorry for the tragic loss that brought you here and for the complex road to healing that you must travel. —- WifeLess
  11. WifeLess

    Still wondering why

    Anni, Welcome to Young Widow Forum. It sounds like you were at the beginning of a very beautiful relationship. So yes, if you wish to be included, you are indeed welcome here. It is very understandable that you feel as you describe in your post. But, as difficult as it may be to believe at this point, it is possible to survive this, and things do get slowly better with time. So please hold onto hope. You are very early in your journey. You will not always feel as you do now. Sorry for your tragic loss. --- WifeLess
  12. WifeLess

    8 years

    Maureen, Last month it was 8 years for me as well. How could so much time have passed? I hope your sad memories that have arisen this week are soon replaced with many more that are much happier ones. --- WifeLess
  13. WifeLess

    New and young. Lost and broken

    SalvationsDying, Welcome to Young Widow Forum. Yes, these are among the many conflicting emotions that most of us feel when we are newly widowed. I think a good description of our range of emotions in the early days and weeks of widowhood may be found in "Letter to a Friend": http://widda.org/index.php/topic,7.0.html Sorry for the tragic loss that brought you here. --- WifeLess
  14. CJ92 and kae, Welcome to Young Widow Forum. Something that I learned shortly after my wife’s suicide 8 years ago and that I have posted about a number of times since: The psychological trauma of the SOS (survivor of suicide) of a loved one is classified among the most extreme that a person may ever experience. And this is made even worse when that suicide is of one's spouse, whose death is ranked as the single most emotionally stressful event in an adult's life. For more posts about suicide loss, you may want to check out the Specific Situations section below. Sorry for the traumatic loss that brought you here. --- WifeLess
  15. WifeLess

    1st Sad Anniversary

    MR, The first year after my wife's death was by far the most difficult year of my life. And after passing my first sad anniversary, I took a small bit of comfort in the knowledge that somehow I had survived and in the belief that someday things would get better. I wish you a measure of peace as you pass through your one year point. --- WifeLess

Personal Information

  • Date Widowed
    8 / 2009
  • Cause of death
    Mental Illness / Suicide

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