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Abitlost

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  1. People attend births? When my kids were born it was just my husband and me. In the situation you describe, I'd think it awkward for everyone if you did go. I can't imagine the birth parents have a strong desire for your presence, and my perspective is from their standpoint.
  2. Abitlost

    Social Security Children's benefits....

    I believe that there are family as well as and individual maximums. The way I understand it, if both of your kids were receiving the individual maximum before your oldest turned 18, then the youngest's benefit would not increase. If they were below the individual maximum, I believe your youngest's benefit would have automatically adjusted when the oldest aged out. It's always worth a call to the Social Security office though. If your 18-year-old is still in high school, benefits should continue until he graduates. In the months prior to your eldest's 18th birthday, you should have received a form to be completed by the high school.
  3. Abitlost

    FWB

    W40, Everyone approaches things differently. I'm sure having a connection with someone so close to your wife is bringing you comfort right now. My only concern is that if you take on the benefits aspect with your wife's best friend, in the future you may regret it, which could complicate your grieving process. Of course that's impossible to predict. It's also a slippery slope how she might react, either initially or weeks/months/years in the future. If it were to drive a wedge between you, it's possible you could lose that connection to your wife. I am ten years out and am very thankful for the relationships I have with my husband's friends -- for both me and my kids. abl
  4. I'm ten years out and consider myself a widow. I dislike when the options are "single, married, divorced". I am proud that my husband picked me, that we had a wonderful bond, and a successful marriage. When the topic of marital status comes up with people I meet -- be it at the bank or a social setting -- I simply state that my husband passed away -- usually as part of a longer sentence -- and move on. The response is generally a quiet "I'm sorry" to which thank them and continue on with the conversation. This seems to diminish the discomfort and gives everyone permission to accept it as a fact of who I am.
  5. Abitlost

    There are worse things than death

    Beyond tragic. I'm thinking of Kate.
  6. Abitlost

    Proud Mom

    Hi t2b, Sorry I'm late to this thread. I feel for you. Going through these milestones without the one person who could share in your pride -- as well as all the other emotions surrounding his moving on -- is so difficult. I have had several of these moments, and while I am in a relationship, I don't feel like I have anyone who shares my feelings or who truly gets it. Thank goodness for widda. How are you feel now that it's a week removed? abl
  7. Abitlost

    Teen daughter struggling

    Hi HM, Teens are awesome, aren't they? I'm sending you a PM. abl
  8. Captains wife, I am also proud of you for setting and keeping your boundary! You and your son deserve that! I'm sorry NG tried to guilt you, but am glad you stood up for yourself. abl
  9. Abitlost

    New loss, old pain

    Oh Trying, I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. Another deep connection to Tim is gone, which must be gutting. It isn't right that Tim isn't with you for this or any other big or small event
  10. Mc5, I am so sorry for your loss. Raising two kids alone is no picnic, but it sounds like you are doing an exceptional job. Do you have a close female friend or family member that can commit to stepping in as a female role model? Adolescents is such a confusing time to begin with, and they may resent not having their mom to guide them through their changes. If you don't have a female friend or family member, perhaps check out Big Brothers Big Sisters? It is hard to grieve along side your kids, and to take the brunt of their anger. Grief support groups are a good outlet, and I will second the grief camps. The unspoken bonus of the grief camp is that while they are away for the weekend, you get time alone with your own grief. abl
  11. Abitlost

    A new WIDDA heading your way

    I agree with Captain's Wife that there are increased concerns about privacy, with serpico that the inability to edit or delete posts after an hour passes is a deterrent to posting, and with Wheelerswife that other social media platforms are where people congregated after YWBB closed. Not everyone is on Facebook, and new members don't even have any idea that a group exists. After the one-hour edit window was implemented, I became hesitant to post knowing things would stay etched into the internet for all eternity. I wish the moderators would eliminate that window, because sometimes a wid posts something that in retrospect s/he would like to not be forever reminded of, or something s/he doesn't want others to find, or something s/he wishes they could take back. abl
  12. Abitlost

    Sobbed on new girl

    Congratulations Gracelet!
  13. Abitlost

    Sad Loss Of WifeLess

    I am so sorry, Bluebird. I have no words, just hugs. abl
  14. Abitlost

    Widowed Jan 16, 2019.

    Powbesh, the pain right now might feel unbearable, but it gets easier, I promise! I, too, couldn't sleep in our bed for months. The TV had to be on in order for me to sleep. 10 years later, I didn't even remember those things until you mentioned them. You'll get through this, and you'll feel happiness again. Hang in there!
  15. SB...I'm glad your son and the girlfriend know you saw her fuck me text. That right there is a pretty good mood killer. How about setting up nanny cams? Or just telling your son that you are. (That's not a playback you'd ever want to see...)


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