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patswife22

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  1. I found out after my husband passed if I had to remove his name for anything did that company need an original or a copy. Things you learn as you go along. For some they would take a copy. Even after 14 years later I found that I needed an original death certificate pertaining to a real estate situation and I didn't have one. So I had to request one before that situation could be taken care of. Luckily, we did have a will. Got it done 2 months before he passed. This is something people don't like to do for various reasons.
  2. I believe a lot of non-widowed people look at widowed people with old fashioned ideals. We have lots of money after our spouses pass. We cry all the time. If we should go out to dinner with others do we just cry all the time? These are some of the ideas I got myself after my husband passed.
  3. DonnaP: I already know what their reply will be. My BIL already told my brother that he did not want to partake in dinner with me. My brother was out to coffee with our BIL and some other mutual friends. He asked the guys if they wanted to go out that night for dinner. When my BIL asked my brother who would be there my brother mentioned my name. My BIL said I don't want to be any where XXXX will be. So to forgive and forget? Not going to happen here. With these people they do not want to hear MY side of the story. Their mother have them all fooled that this whole thing is/was my
  4. While my brother was still in town my SO (significant other) and I arranged to go to go out to eat. He was out earlier in the day with some friends of his and our BIL. He asked them if they wanted to join us? My BIL asked who was going. My brother mentioned my SO and me. My BIL told him "I'm not going if XXXX is going to be there". Turned out it was just the 3 of us. How freaking cold. I hope I never run into him EVER. Him and his 2 kids. They ever want or need anything they can just keep moving past me. I mean they have all of those other family members and friends to help.
  5. When I called my MIL to inform her I was putting my husband in hospice her first response was "why?" Seriously.....where have you been in the last 16 months? She then calls me back about an hour later and informs me that her and her oldest daughter were on their way to OUR home. They come to my house with the other daughter. By this time my husband is pretty much comatose. I had called the hospice to let them know what was going on and if they could come and explain to them about hospice. By this time I was so emotionally and physically drained. I called one of my sisters for reinforcem
  6. First a little bit of history. I will TRY to keep it short. I lost my husband February 2007. Devastating as you can imagine. Fast forward to 2010. Youngest sister moves in with me. She has health issues. One rule in my home........NO smoking in my home. However, for my sister no smoking AT my house. Within a couple of days of her moving in I had hip replacement surgery. When I got home I found evidence that she was smoking at my home. After repeated warnings I had to ask her to leave. See she was ON oxygen and smoking. Because of her actions while living in my home it seemed she w
  7. I do not remember the date of my first bago. When I did go it was just this other woman and I. We met a restaurant and it was hard to carry a conversation with her. She seemed very shy and not too talkative. I walked out of that bago discouraged. Several weeks later I decided to attend another bago. I had absolutely no idea what to expect. All those people with just a screen name and now I could put a face and a name together. I walked out of that gathering with both my feet off the floor. I finally found people who were going through different stages of grief. They welco
  8. My dating profile also had my widowed status listed. As for my in-laws? After my husband passed I didn't have much of a relationship with them so whatever they thought, I could careless. In fact they were not the nicest people. About 6 years after my husband passed I met a great guy. He's also widowed. We've been together 6 years now. My 2 sisters-in-law met him last year. They knew I was with someone as my daughter had told them. The older one was cordial but the one I always had problems with was a real BIT**. Wouldn't even acknowledge me much less him. Our families and friends ar
  9. StillHereWI, never feel like you don't belong. I was widowed at age 51. I found this one site........young widows bulletin board. It has since been disbanded and strangely this one kind of took it's place. Anyway, I chatted with a lot of people younger than me, my age and some older than me. We were all there because of ONE thing. We all lost someone. My husband has been gone 12 years. I've endured a lot since he was gone. Way too many too mention. So keep coming back. By the way, where in Wisconsin are you? I am near the Milwaukee area.
  10. I knew this is quite early but thought I would throw this out there. Some veteran wids are planning a dinner bago from the SE WI/Northern IL area. Of course, anyone is encouraged to attend. The date is Saturday October 20th. Venue has not been decided as yet as we want to see if we can get a group together. If you have never attended a bago, don't hesitate to come. I was at that stage and I can tell you it was worth it. Met some fabulous people.
  11. When I read stories of online dating I look back at what I went through. The first guy I communicated with was very complimenting. To make a long story short he turned out to be a scammer. The picture on the dating site was NOT him. How did I find this out? Education and finally paying attention to his chats and the others that came along. The next few were the same. Talk about trust. So I left the dating sites as I was getting quite upset with the prospects I seemed to be attracting. Apparently the word widow means lots of money. This one does not have any so as soon as the chats st
  12. Thank you all. These types of writings I remember helped me back in the day. These almost 5 years have gone by so fast. Those dark days seem to be dragging me down. But the old saying "time flies when you're having fun". When I tell people we've been together this long they can't believe it. These are the same people, family and friends alike who have been by my side for the last 10-12 years.
  13. Sudnlysngl, I am so sorry to hear about your divorce. Wheelerswife and sudnlysngl, I remember you too. Seeing these names here bring back so many memories of others who were going through the same as me and helped me through the worse part of my life. I am "retired" now; quit my job of 3 years in February of this year. My boss who is married to a high school classmate of mine was getting to be a real @$$hole. My sister who lived with me passed away 2 years ago. Seems she didn't do so well after she moved out. Now recently connected with a bunch of cousins on my
  14. Sojourner, he does have brothers but they are unavailable. Thank you for your kind words. Considering everything I've endured since the day we found out about my husband's (eventual) terminal cancer diagnosis meeting this man has been the happiest I've been. I am constantly amazed as to where this relationship goes.
  15. I've been widowed just over 11 years. We were together 27 years.....married 22. After 6 years of widowhood I was tired of being lonely. I tried online dating for several months. The first few "guys" turned out to be scammers. To make a long story short I finally met a guy. We started chatting. Thought that was as far it would go. He finally asked to meet. We met at a coffee shop 50 miles from my home. I thought if it didn't work out I would probably never venture to that place again where I would run into him. That 3 hour coffee date turned into a full fledged relationship. We've b
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